Adoption

• Most Topular Stories

• Intercountry adoption according to me

  Third Mom

  Margie

  26 Jan 2012 | 1:44 pm

  I want to talk to the adoptive parents in the house who are struggling with the debate over intercountry adoption. I’m not excluding adopted people and first parents here, but believe that what I have to say on this topic will resonate less, if at all, with you.If you are the parent of an internationally-adopted child, you undoubtedly love that child so much and care for him or her so tenderly that you cannot imagine why someone would want to deny another child the same, especially if you believe that the only alternative is life in an institution. You see how good intercountry adoption can…

• My Dashed Ivy League Dreams

  The Declassified Adoptee

  Amanda

  25 Jan 2012 | 11:00 pm

  I was talking about education with someone the other day; we were discussing our long term goals.  I am continuing my education as a Social Work major now; I have to get my BSW in Social Work as the minimum requirement in my state to hold the title of "Social Worker."  My goal is really to complete an MSW.  My friend asked me what graduate schools I was applying to.  I casually started to comment that I had looked into programs, listing the names of schools as I talked.  When I got to the name of an Ivy League school that I have a good change of getting into, my…

• the slacker mom’s guide to homemade photo cards for valentine’s day

  Rage Against the Minivan

  25 Jan 2012 | 12:48 pm

  I’m not really a “handmade card” kind of mom.  I think it’s lovely that other moms are, but at this stage in our family there is usually just not enough time in the day for me to indulge in my creative side . . . beyond staring at the things other people are doing on Pinterest.  With Valentine’s Day approaching, though, I did decide to make some homemade cards, inspired in part by cards like this one.  But, if I’m to be totally honest, it was also inspired by my desire to not have to supervise four kids signing their name to 20+ cards.  We are barely recovered…

• Finish Your Collapse

  Joy's Division

  joy21

  27 Jan 2012 | 5:50 am

  Oh so I have been so busy looking at the clouds moving by really fast, eating, baking, sewing, taking classes, all the things that even non-bastids do. I know crazy, because so many people think I just stay holed-up in a room and obsess about something that didn’t even happen and didn’t even leave an imprint on my soul. Luckily for me, for some unknown reason one of those people isn’t my mother. Or more importantly either of my mothers. They both know. They are both afraid to touch it but they both care. I know some incredible women who can’t say the same. It boggles…

• Santorum on Rape and Abortion: you Might be Surprised About What I Have to Say About the Presidential Candidate's Most Recent Gum Flapping

  The Declassified Adoptee

  Amanda

  25 Jan 2012 | 1:56 pm

  I know you'd expect me to write a blog entry that rakes Santorum across the coals for his recent disclosure that he wanted to constitutionalize the personhood of a fetus and take away a woman's right to choose.  To be honest with you, I cannot decide who I am more irritated at: Santorum for his viewpoints or the liberal media for the disrespectful way they are reporting on his viewpoints.I cannot let the way many liberal media outlets have treated this issue go without comment on my blog simply because I tend to have very liberal viewpoints myself.  I am tired of the thoughtless…

• 

  Musings of the Lame; life as a birthmother in adoption

• Is Your Adoption Agency Ethical?

  27 Jan 2012 | 12:40 pm

  How are Perspective Adoption Parents Supposed to Know How Ethical an Adoption Agency Really Is? An Inside Look from a Birthmother’s Perspective Adoption is particularly hard because it is never something we really learn about before we find it in our lives. I know I never dreamed that one day I would grow up, have a baby, give him to other parents to raise and not see him for 19 years. I believe that is true for many adoptive parents as well. Maybe you always felt that you would eventually... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• Breaking the Birthmother Rules

  26 Jan 2012 | 9:00 am

  I wrote this in August of 2006. It was for some publication or contest that I don't ever even believe came with a rejection letter. I know it didn't get published, but I think it deserves some time in the light of day. Not much has changed in my views in the last years. Dear Adoptive Parents; I know you will think I am scary. I have gotten use to it. Most people are shocked when they see me. I am little, not a big threatening Amazon. I know it is not how I say things, how I write,... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• Why Adoption Kool-Aid Tastes so Good!

  23 Jan 2012 | 2:03 pm

  A Look at Birthmothers, Decision Making, and Denial It was close to 10 years ago, if not more the first time I was called out on being a birthmother in denial. Max was only 13 and years away from being found and I was new to the adoption community online. I was still saying things like "Adoption was the hardest decision, but the best choice for my baby I could have made. I do not regret it" and expecting to get pats on the back for my selflessness and courage. Instead I was publically... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• Adoption: Broken Ornaments

  23 Jan 2012 | 1:46 pm

  This post was orginally writen in Dec 2010 for GIMH: The Christmas Tree and Family Traditions One would not think that a middle class family on suburban Long Island would be trend setters. In many ways, my family was quite unremarkable. My father was a NYC police Lieutenant, my mother a stay at home mom for most of my childhood; yet, somehow they did stuff ahead of their time.   We had one of the first microwaves, we had a VCR from the early days, we were eating pesto way way... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• Who Wants to Be a Birthmother?

  23 Jan 2012 | 1:45 pm

  What's in a Word: Birthmother I was asked to write a piece about why mothers who relinquished children to adoption might be upset by the use of the word birthmother by Adoption Mosaic. 700 words on a topic I know quite well, so I said no problem. And then I struggled. About 16 revisions later, and with the deadline looming, I sent off what I THOUGHT was my final version and headed to Texas for the Adoptee Rights Protest. I had sent version #12, but they liked it and I didn't HATE it, so... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• 

  Anti-Adoption

• 28 Jan 2012 | 1:04 am

  X

  28 Jan 2012 | 1:04 am

  Where do you think the public or community outreach to help someone adopt comes from vs. helping a mother keep her child? Just referencing a recent article as an example: High-school-starts-for-Romanian-adoptee and of course one could say well in this situation we can’t say if the child was surrendered due to poverty, and youre right, [...]

• Russian prime minister works towards ending international adoption

  X

  15 Dec 2011 | 11:53 am

  Putin encourages Russians to adopt children 16:39 15/12/2011 Prime Minister Vladimir Putin said it was important to encourage Russians to adopt children and reduce the need for foreigners in the adoption of the country’s children.>> Other news of the day Tagged: Russian adoption

• I hate meth part two

  X

  12 Dec 2011 | 11:07 pm

  The eighteen months without him were growing for our lives. My father still lives in the same house I grew up in, on the ranch I grew up on, next to the barn full of horses in between acres and acres of orange, avocado and lemon trees. When my girls and I first moved there [...]

• I hate meth part one

  X

  11 Dec 2011 | 9:58 pm

  In the last four months my girls and I have been through alot. Their father was release from prison after serving eighteen months in jail for numerous felonies and misdemeanors including multiple counts of being arrested under the influence of meth, having injection devices, stolen property, including firearms and ammunition, and caught filimg the serial [...]

• Foreign Adoptions by Americans Decline…

  X

  26 Nov 2011 | 3:56 am

  Well, I know i haven’t been here in close to a year…but i sat down this morning and did some googling of adoption news articles and found this one. I must say that I did get a smile to see the adoptions declining. Isn’t it an eye opener to see all of the countries admitting [...]

• 

  Ethnically Incorrect Daughter

• PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet

  sume

  18 Jan 2012 | 9:47 am

  via Fightforthefuture.org PROTECT-IP is a bill that has been introduced in the Senate and the House and is moving quickly through Congress. It gives the government and corporations the ability to censor the net, in the name of protecting “creativity”. The law would let the government or corporations censor entire sites– they just have to [...]

• If we make it difficult enough for you, maybe you’ll just go away

  sume

  2 Nov 2011 | 11:08 am

  Description:LGA monthly contributor (and mild mannered) Shelise Gieseke talks about her recent, not-so-pleasant and frustrating experience with Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS) and Children’s Home Society & Family Services (CHSFS). Topics Covered: Birth family search, GOA’L, Korea Central Adoption Resource (KCARE), Eastern Social Welfare Society (ESWS), Children’s Home Society & Family Services (CHSFS), responsibilities of [...]

• Turning the page to another chapter

  sume

  1 Nov 2011 | 7:18 pm

  It’s been a while, so I guess the first thing I should do is update the identity timeline.  Once again, I find myself laughing and crying  at how many times I’ve had to adjust my personal history.  This year, I took the leap and sent in a sample to FamilyTreeDNA.  I figured at best, I [...]

• A wartime adoptee’s search for the ‘missing child’ he became

  sume

  29 Oct 2011 | 6:39 pm

  Adoptees face a long list of questions as they grow up, not only who their parents were and why they were put up for adoption in the first place, but who they would have been had they not. Nelson DeWitt, born in El Salvador, adopted in Honduras and raised in the United States, has gotten [...]

• NPR Investigative Series: Native Foster Care: Lost Children, Shattered Families

  sume

  27 Oct 2011 | 11:43 pm

  I’ve been following this series over the last week and applaud NPR’s initiative to go beyond the usual fluff pieces.   Nearly 700 Native American children in South Dakota are being removed from their homes every year, sometimes under questionable circumstances. An NPR News investigation has found that the state is largely failing to place [...]

• 

  Production, Not Reproduction

• Roundtable Suggestions

  Heather

  19 Jan 2012 | 12:34 pm

  I have a new open adoption roundtable set up for next week. This next prompt was suggested by a first mom blogger (she's since shuttered her blog, else I'd link to her) and I'd love to have more community-suggested prompts. I'm sure you have some better ideas than mine! What topics would you like to write about? Read about? You can peek at the list of prior topics for a look at what we've done in the past.

• Adoption Book Tour: "Found" by Jennifer Lauck

  Heather

  17 Jan 2012 | 6:59 am

  Today I am participating in an adoption book tour of Found by Jennifer Lauck, organized by Lori at The Open Adoption Examiner. Found is a companion to Ms Lauck's earlier memoirs (the acclaimed Blackbird, Still Waters, and Show Me the Way), re-telling some of the same events then continuing on through her reunion with her first mother and, more broadly, her search for wholeness, peace, and identity. It's a raw and powerful story about her memory of loss (loss piled on loss, in this case: losing her family of origin due to closed adoption, losing her adoptive family to…

• Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011

  Heather

  10 Jan 2012 | 2:01 am

  The Best of Open Adoption Blogs list celebrates the best of online writing about openness in adoption from 2011, as selected by the blogging community. Bloggers could contribute posts they wrote as well as posts written by others. Submissions will be added to the list through January 31, so if your favorite isn't listed, be sure to add it. The submissions are listed in the order in which they were received--no "best of the best" or rankings here. Section I: Recognizing Our Own Writing A modest proposal. I mean, question. by Lia of Lia - Not Juno Christmas and Adoption by of Mandy W. of…

• Opportunities

  Heather

  8 Jan 2012 | 5:08 pm

  Best of Open Adoption Blogs The Best of Open Adoption Blogs 2011 arrives on Tuesday!  Hooray! There are thirty-some posts on the list so far and not a single one has been nominated twice. I think that diversity is such a testament to the strength of our loose online community and the resource we are to each other. The initial deadline was yesterday, but I'll try to squeeze in as many as I can that come in before Tuesday. And, don't forget, I'll still add submissions through the end of January even after the list is posted. So keep them coming! What did you read about open adoption in…

• Six

  Heather

  6 Jan 2012 | 1:51 am

  Dear Eddie, You settled into being six years old a few months ago now. It is, thus far, a slightly taller version of five: the same intent love for Legos; the same need to run and jump and explore; the same fierce desire to snuggle together for books at bedtime. Your blankie is still your most treasured possession. There is also, in the last two months, a new found fascination with all things football. It is your father's fault; he got in there before I could snag you with an appreciation for something more civilized. We recently interviewed a string of potential babysitters and,…

• 

  Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform (PEAR)

• DOS Adoption Notice: Kazakhstan - New Family and Marriage Code Signed into Law

  PEAR

  13 Jan 2012 | 10:17 am

  Kazakhstan New Family and Marriage Code Signed into Law U.S. Mission Kazakhstan has reported that President Nazarbayev signed into law the new Family and Marriage Code on December 26, 2011. The Ministry of Education now awaits government approval of its new policies to accredit agencies and process adoptions. The Department will post information on the new accreditation process and the new adoption procedures on www.adoption.state.gov as soon as we receive it, and will confirm when the new Hague Convention adoption process is in place in Kazakhstan. DOS web*:…

• PEAR Website Announcement

  PEAR

  29 Dec 2011 | 7:52 am

  Our website will be down December 26 to January 6 for a redesign. Due to this, our web comments, membership forms and donate buttons will be inoperable. Please direct your correspondence to the following board members:Comments and requests for assistance:Gina PollockVice President Advocacy and NGO/Government Relationsrmprhp@yahoo.comMembership Issues:Shanna WrightSecretary and Membership Chairshanjwright@gmail.comDonations and financial issues:Margaret WeeksTreasurermeweek@aol.comAll other correspondence:Kimberly KennedyPresidentkackennedy_2000@yahoo.comThank you for your continued patience…

• Book Review: Finding Fernanda

  PEAR

  20 Dec 2011 | 6:12 am

  by David Kruchkow Board Member of Parents for Ethical Adoption ReformWhere can I start a review of Erin Siegal’s Finding Fernanda? I know Erin Siegal as an online friend and someone who came to me for advice on this book. Why me? Perhaps it is because I made my story public more than a dozen years ago as one of 22 families victimized by an illegal Mexican adoption/baby smuggling ring. At that time, I called for the adoption industry to police itself and remove the cancerous, criminal, profiteering element that infected its underbelly. Back then, I underestimated how deep that infection was.

• DOS Adoption Notice: Guatemala Processing Plan for CNA cases

  PEAR

  14 Dec 2011 | 7:55 am

  December 12, 2011 Notice: Processing Plan for CNA cases This Adoption Notice is a follow up to the Notice of September 27, 2011. The Government of Guatemala's Consejo Nacional de Adopciones (CNA) has agreed to a process for certain adoption applications pending under the CNA's processing authority. The U.S. Department of State and U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) will contact affected families to provide detailed information regarding the next steps. We anticipate that the CNA may identify additional cases for processing at a later time. The general outline of the planned…

• USCIS will hold a follow up to their October 28 Teleconference on Ethiopian Adoption

  PEAR

  6 Dec 2011 | 8:16 pm

  USCIS will hold a follow up to their October 28 Teleconference on Ethiopian Adoption. The invitation is open to all stakeholders.Meeting InvitationUSCIS Stakeholder Meeting on Ethiopian Adoptions Friday, December 9, 2011 @ 10 am (EST)As a follow up to the October 28, 2011, Ethiopian Stakeholder call, U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) and the U.S. Department of State would like to invite you to attend a stakeholder call to discuss USCIS’ November trip to the U.S. Embassy in Addis Ababa to adjudicate “not clearly approvable” adoption petitions.After the U.S. Embassy in…

• Photostream from Daylife

• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

• 

  The Daily Bastardette

• Missouri: Bastard Nation Testimony on HB 1137--Oppose

  Marley Geiner

  26 Jan 2012 | 9:19 pm

  I'll be writing about the latest Missouri situaiton later, but i the meantime, here's our testimony that was submitted to the Judiciary committee on January 25, 2012.HB 1137: access to identifying information for adoptions original birthcertificateMissouri HouseJudiciary CommitteeJanuary 25, 2012OPPOSEPrivilege is theopposite of rightsBastardNation: the Adoptee Rights Organization is the largest Adoptee civilrights organization in the United States. We support full access forall adopted persons to their original birth certificates (OBC)without restriction.. HB 1137 is not an unrestricted bill…

• Ohio Adoptee Rights Historical Document: HB 419 (1995-1996)

  Marley Geiner

  25 Jan 2012 | 10:58 pm

  In conjunction with Ohio Adoptee Searches I have started a new blog:  Ohio Adoptee Searches:  News and Views on Ohio Adoptee Rights, Search, and Reunion. I'm old enough to remember when adoptee rights and search were two sides of the coin, and search tended to lead to activism.  (Special thanks to BJ Lifton, Florence Fisher, and Jean Paton) No later than the mid-1980s, though, search had been co-opted by therapists and so-called reform organizations who packed the hearing room with nose blowers with beggars' bowls, who despite their use of "rights" language,  chose…

• Roe Turns 39; Columbus Protests

  Marley Geiner

  24 Jan 2012 | 1:51 am

  Monday marked the 39th anniversary of Roe v Wade. While most local anti-abortion big shots were doing their annual March for Life in Washington with accompanying photo ops, Greater Columbus Right to Life held down the fort here with a 45 minute rally on the steps of the statehouse.with few photo ops.  Except for me, Channel l0 appeared to be the only local media covering the event, but there's nothing on the station's news site.With Occupy Columbus camped out on the corner of S. High and E State, I was looking forward to interesting possibilities, but the occupiers, unlike the Occupy…

• Washington: Bastard Nation Testimony in Opposition to HB 2211/suggested amendments

  Marley Geiner

  16 Jan 2012 | 10:38 pm

                                                       TESTIMONYHB2 2211 Adoptee access to theirown original birth certificatesWashington HouseCommittee on the JudiciaryJanuary 16, 2011OPPOSEPrivilege is theopposite of rightsOurWashington representative cannot attend the hearing today so we aresubmitting this testimony via email. Bastard…

• Bastard Nation in Slate

  Marley Geiner

  10 Jan 2012 | 9:50 am

  Yippie!  Bastard Nation got a nice and extensive plug yesterday in Slate::   Luke  Marci and Me:  After 34 years the Internet gave me a sister I'd never known.  in which writer Luke O'Neil recounts the discovery of his sister, he knew about, but had remained illusive.Luke discusses BN and sealed records about mid-way through the first page.  Comments are mainly good, but contain a number of expected snarks in two categories.(1)  It's a Pandora's box.  You're better off not knowing(2)  Searching betrays adoptive parents.I'll  be…

• 

  Joy's Division

• Finish Your Collapse

  joy21

  27 Jan 2012 | 5:50 am

  Oh so I have been so busy looking at the clouds moving by really fast, eating, baking, sewing, taking classes, all the things that even non-bastids do. I know crazy, because so many people think I just stay holed-up in a room and obsess about something that didn’t even happen and didn’t even leave an imprint on my soul. Luckily for me, for some unknown reason one of those people isn’t my mother. Or more importantly either of my mothers. They both know. They are both afraid to touch it but they both care. I know some incredible women who can’t say the same. It boggles…

• Oooops Megan, My Reply to Your Comment Turned All Evangelical

  joy21

  19 Jan 2012 | 3:19 am

  I was telling my dear friend recently how I was going to be all more faith less anxiety. She listened patiently and then the other day brought it up again and wondered aloud when I had become so evangelical and if I had a flock, and wtf is wrong with me? Oh I have always been a bleeding-heart-do-gooder, just ask Bob. Megan asked me a v. good question: So what is up with the blog about Campbell if you don’t care about her? (paraphrasing) You know Megan that is a very good question and I asked that of myself. I am glad you brought it up as I have already done an auto-interview a la Nina…

• OMG, So Sorry MAC and Jess and Campbell Even

  joy21

  16 Jan 2012 | 12:44 pm

  So apparently Campbell has a blog up about what a naughty girl I am. Well I am sure it is fascinating in true Campbell insightful style, lollers but sorry cannot be bothered to care. But as I understand it it MAC and Jess have taken to their beds like Camille reaching for their smelling salts because they feel they have every right to dismiss adoptees and ridicule them. How dare I give them a taste of their own medicine? How dare I? And really it is not even a taste of their own medicine, I am not ridiculing the biggest pain of their lives, I am just ridiculing how they talk to us which makes…

• Expedient Truth and Adoptees

  joy21

  16 Jan 2012 | 12:04 am

  The first time I spoke to my mother, one of the things that I felt compelled to tell her was, “I lie a lot” which is funny because everyone lies and I really do not lie a lot. I was a teenager though, I was just a youngin’ and what I realize now that I didn’t then, what I was trying to articulate is that ‘My whole life feels like a lie’ I wasn’t capable of that level of self-awareness at the time. It feels like I am lying when I tell people the most even basic facts of my life, that is what I meant. My name feels like a lie, the truth who I am, one of…

• Linda’s Awesome/Brilliant Comment and Why It Hurts So Much

  joy21

  14 Jan 2012 | 2:23 am

  First Linda’s comment about the breath-taking and all of that: Submitted on 2012/01/14 at 6:51 am I watched this earlier with Dan. It’s Primal Wound Friday here. He rolled his eyes and said, “Hell…I could teach this class…anyone who loves an adoptee could teach this class.” I corrected him and said, “Anyone with a brain who loves an adoptee.” The whole thing took my breath away. Anytime I hear someone describe that part of my life in such an honest fashion, it takes my breath away, and then I say, “Ummm, duh.” We cannot imagine a pre-trauma life, because it started on…

• 

  Kimchi Mamas

• Call for Submissions at KoreanAmericanStory.org

  Kimchi

  26 Jan 2012 | 8:26 pm

  Do you or your family members have stories to share for an anthology devoted to the Korean immigrant experience in the 70's and 80's? If so, please consider submitting it for publication at KoreanAmericanStory.org. They are collecting content in a variety of formats, and they will compensate for the stories they select for publication. Details can be found here. --Julie

• Kimchi Mama Honor Roll: Hee Jun Han on "American Idol"

  Kimchi

  20 Jan 2012 | 2:00 pm

  "American Idol" featured a Korean American contestant yesterday named Hee Jun Han. With the goofy music playing in the background, the extended interview, and the overenthusiasm, I didn't know what to expect. But Hee Jun, who hails from Flushing, NY, definitely gave "American Idol" some motherland flavor, from complimenting Ryan Seacrest on his small face (even comparing his face to...

• The Korean Man's Anger

  Kimchi

  20 Jan 2012 | 12:06 am

  By now you've probably heard or read about Pinkberry co-founder, Young Lee, attacking a homeless man with a tire iron. When I was reading some of the details of what happened, and also accounts of his previous shady behaviors (like making threats against someone's life), I was like... I can totally picture a lot of Korean men doing this. I...

• Happy New Year

  Kimchi

  5 Jan 2012 | 11:48 pm

  It's the Solar New Year! I hope everyone had a restful time off and spent lots of time enjoying their families... although I gotta say that taking care of both kids all day is way harder than being at work. Even if one of them looks this cute:  Anyway, anyone got resolutions for the new year? I'm not one...

• Houston, We Have a Problem...and a Confession

  Kimchi

  23 Dec 2011 | 1:02 pm

  To my beloved Kimchi Mamas, Please do me and our community a favor by reading this short article on self-harm and violence in the Korean American community I know this seems like a big bummer to post this during the holiday season, but 'tis also the season for a spike in suicides, suicide attempts, and domestic violence. Does this ring...

• 

  omegamom.com

• Ten

  omegamom

  23 Jan 2012 | 7:55 pm

  Somehow or other, this little girl: Has turned into this OMG-how-did-this-happen tween (oh-so-ironic picture taken at the National Museum of Nuclear Science and History): It happens while you’re not looking. I have been incredibly busy today, zipping to and fro, getting my boobs squished, telling the car mechanic I have to bring the car in on Wednesday, not today, ferrying a boatload of fudgsicles to school, wrapping gifts, dragging the girl off to gymnastics, buying cupcakes for the kids at gymnastics, running home, writing this blog post, then it’s off to pick up the girl and all of us…

• Happy New Year!

  omegamom

  31 Dec 2011 | 9:00 pm

  So here it is, almost 2012. Tomorrow will be the Omegas’ 14th anniversary. We are safely ensconced in our new house, which we closed on yesterday, the last closing of 2011 for our title company. We have had some thirty+ inches of snow at the house over December, which is only now totally melted off our back deck. In excellent “greet the New Year” fashion, I am sick and regretting not hauling my butt off to the local doc-in-the-box today. OmegaDad has, in the past month, ripped 90% of the cornea off his right eye by gouging it with his thumb while in the throes of a nightmare…

• Ummm…T+5 and in a new life stage

  omegamom

  11 Nov 2011 | 11:46 pm

  Okay, so I suck at updating. And, for the nth year in a row, I have hopelessly flubbed NaBloPoMo. Sigh. Maybe next year, eh? So. We are now ensconced at a lovely little B&B in Ranchos de Big City (not to be confused with River Rancho, a suburb of Big City filled with McMansions crammed together cheek by jowl). As a result of this stay, we have become enamored of Ranchos de Big City, an area on the banks of Big River that is filled with huge old cottonwood trees, old ranchos of sprawling adobe structures sitting next to outrageously large new construction. The streets are tiny. The…

• T-2 Various goodbyes

  omegamom

  5 Nov 2011 | 12:53 am

  I have pics on my iPhone that I would like to insert, but I don’t know how using WordPress’s built-in post writing ability.  Bah. So I’ll just say that I drove in to Big City to drop my car off to be shipped to New Mexico, OmegaDotter had her last day at school and gymnastics, our inflatable mattress deflated overnight, OmegaDad took turtles in to get a health certificate, and now we’re all exhausted.

• T-3 An empty house

  omegamom

  4 Nov 2011 | 2:58 am

  I am writing this using my brand-new iPhone, curled up on an inflatable mattress.  The house is empty, except for the heap of stuff we are either shipping to NM via UPS or schlepping onto the plane with us.  (That includes one dawg, three cats, and three turtles.) OmegaDad is setting up turtle carriers.  OmegaDotter is snoring on another inflatable mattress beside me. The cats were quite traumatized today.  Piggy, our 17-year-old half-Siamese, half-calico dainty scaredy cat, spent most of the past four days carefully hidden in the box spring of our bed.  When the movers finally came to…

• 

  Write Mind Open Heart

• Because I just got taller

  Lavender Luz

  26 Jan 2012 | 8:00 am

  Pin itI had an biennial physical this week. Everything was great and one vital statistic was better than great: I am a half-inch taller than I used to be. I attribute it to yoga. A steady yoga practice can put space into one’s spine to counter the compression that comes over time. I began practicing [...]

• Perfect Moment Monday: Retreat

  Lavender Luz

  22 Jan 2012 | 9:00 pm

  Pin itAs part of a year-long course I’m immersed in, I had the pleasure of spending a weekend with a group of authentic and supportive women (12 of us plus a teacher) at a dude ranch called Peaceful Valley. We drove up between snowfalls and, because of the time of year, ended up being the [...]

• Open Adoption Examiner Book Tour: Found, a memoir

  Lavender Luz

  13 Jan 2012 | 8:05 am

  Pin itToday kicks off the latest Open Adoption Examiner Book Tour. With this third outing of the OAExaminer Book Club we are discussing Found: a Memoir, by Jennifer Lauck. Adoption plays a major role in Jennifer Lauck’s memoir, but the book has appeal beyond those who are connected to adoption. You do not have to [...]

• Wordless Wednesday: Are you smarter than a third grader?

  Lavender Luz

  11 Jan 2012 | 9:47 am

  Pin itI dare you to try… Granted, it was for extra credit. Took me 15 minutes and 9th grade algebra to get the answers. I mean, help Reed find the answers. Seriously — Grade 3!? I’ve got a $5 Starbucks card to the first person with correct answers. Show your work!

• VIPs: Very Important Posts #3

  Lavender Luz

  9 Jan 2012 | 8:00 am

  Pin itBelow is a collection of posts from the past month that have made me think long after I read them.  You may already be acquainted with these writers; whether you are or not, I encourage you to click over to see if these posts are meaningful to you, too. It Is What It Is [...]

• 

  Therapy Is Expensive

• That Won’t Work Mr. President

  KatjaMichelle

  25 Jan 2012 | 10:00 am

  I watched President Obama deliver The State of The Union last night, and our our president gives good speech. However, there was one part that anyone following me on twitter saw had me a little caught up. Okay, a lot caught up. President Obama proposes that every state make it law that youth cannot leave high school until they either graduate or turn 18. No more high school drop outs. Sounds good in theory doesn’t it? Well no, not to me it doesn’t and I’m a certified school social worker. SocialJerk (@SocialJerkBlog) made the excellent point that, “Truancy is a MUCH…

• What You Find When You Aren’t Looking

  KatjaMichelle

  23 Jan 2012 | 2:18 pm

  I was looking through old boxes looking for some items I needed for TheHistoryBuff and his cat to stay with me while their power is still out due to WA snow and ice 2012.  Instead of finding my old cat items I found a copy of my termination of parental rights. This shocked me because I don’t have a copy of my termination of my parental rights. You read that right. Every so often I call the lawyer who handled the adoption and leave a message asking him for a copy.  He never calls me back.  I also send emails.  He doesn’t respond to them either. So I stood staring confused at the…

• If It’s Not One Thing It’s Another*

  KatjaMichelle

  21 Jan 2012 | 6:07 pm

  *Alternate post title: My parents really should have drowned me at birth. I don’t say that in an “I’m having a pity party sort of way” although I suppose I am a bit.  But it’s something my family has kind of joked about.  I’ve always been the sickly one.  I run cold not only will you find me huddled under blankets in the middle of August, but my normal body temperature is literally not 98.6, it’s 96 something.  Growing up I tended to get an awful hacking cough every winter no other symptoms and the doctors never found a reason but every year like…

• 2012: Moments

  KatjaMichelle

  5 Jan 2012 | 1:04 pm

  I don’t know where it came from or who started it (if you know tell me in the comments so I can give appropriate credit where it’s due), all I know is everyone around me (on twitter) has been choosing a word for 2012. At first I just watched. Intrigued. I was impressed and moved by the choices of my friends and it got me wondering what my word would be if I were to choose one. I kept coming up with phrases. Phrases were easy; single words were not. Finally I decided that if I were to pick just one word it would be: Moments. 2012 will be the year I enjoy moments. Live in the…

• Open Adoption RoundTable #33: What I’ve Learned

  KatjaMichelle

  1 Jan 2012 | 5:24 pm

  To end 2011 Heather has chosen an prompt for the 33rd OAR that has us looking back at our open open adoption lessons from the year: “What did you learn about open adoption in 2011?” For me those lessons have been many, but I will try to summarize even though brevity is not my friend. Lesson 1: I am not alone. I knew this before 2011 but I know it differently now. The adoption blogosphere is huge and can be wonderfully supportive but it can also feel lonely at times. Its hard to explain but it was kind of like yeah there are people out there somewhere who get it, who get me, but…

• 

  omommawrites.com

• A Time to Praise

  Leah

  26 Jan 2012 | 8:30 pm

  Can we get some praise on up in here? 2012 I deemed the year of healing, and its moving right along in that direction. And its only January 26th. God is good. I love that sometimes you simply have to ask and be willing to take a step forward and He will answer. Soul healing [...]

• Moving Forward in the New Year

  Leah

  6 Jan 2012 | 11:56 am

  Every year on Christmas I have to decide whether I want to purchase my domain name again. Do I want to keep blogging? I know I’ve been very absent lately from busyness, sickness, holidays…and simply because my writing is equated with my relationship with God. When I’m distant from God, I’m distant from writing. Obviously, [...]

• We’re Alive!

  Leah

  15 Dec 2011 | 10:26 am

  Sorry I dropped off the face of the blogging earth a month ago. I was doing so good for 11 days!  I’m bummed I didn’t continue the trend, but life happened.  Jaxson’s birthday busyness happened. His party was a huge success, surround by our close family and best friends. We had a vegan cake made [...]

• {Thankfulness Day 11} Rest

  Leah

  11 Nov 2011 | 9:51 pm

  I’m am exhausted. It’s been a busy day cleaning, running errands, and preparing for a certain little boy’s 1st birthday tomorrow. Tonight, I’m grateful for rest. Not just physical rest for my mind and body, but for my soul, too. A rest that only God can give. I love how different Bible translations can change [...]

• {Thankfulness Day 10} Colors

  Leah

  10 Nov 2011 | 9:10 pm

  Colors make me happy. Savannah keeps asking what my favorite color is and I tell her I can’t pick just one. I love them all in their own way and for their own purpose.  I love the colors that God has given us in nature (Our pastor joked one Sunday that God’s favorite colors must [...]

• 

  WordPress.com News

• Chrome Users: Try the WordPress.com Extension

  Christopher Finke

  27 Jan 2012 | 1:54 pm

  Want to receive WordPress.com notifications instantly, even when you’re not on WordPress.com? Add the new WordPress.com extension for Chrome and as soon as you get a new follower or a new like on one of your posts, a notification will appear in your browser: Simply click the icon to view your latest WordPress.com notifications: Start following new blogs without visiting WordPress.com The Chrome extension also makes it easy to follow sites from your WordPress.com account by displaying a Follow button whenever you’re browsing a site that has an RSS feed. Clicking the Follow button…

• Your Stats Have a New Home

  Andy Skelton

  26 Jan 2012 | 10:46 am

  Are you addicted to checking your site stats? You are not alone. The stats dashboard has always been one of the most popular admin screens. It’s gratifying to know that people are visiting your place online. With the WordPress.com front page evolving into a one-stop shop for posting, exploring, following and reading blogs, it seemed natural to put your blog stats there, too.  Stats are becoming more and more about interacting with your readers and other bloggers. You’ll still see your summary stats and chart on your main dashboard, and the full stats page in your dashboard will…

• Reblogging is Back!

  Erica Johnson

  22 Jan 2012 | 1:27 pm

  As we mentioned last week, you can like and reblog posts directly from your reader, which displays a stream of all the updates published on all the blogs you follow from your WordPress.com account. We’ve also brought the reblog button back to the toolbar that appears at the top of the screen when you’re logged into WordPress.com. Note that you’ll only see the like and reblog options while you’re looking at individual posts. For example, you’ll see this on the left side of your toolbar while viewing http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/read-blogs: And your…

• New Theme: Newsy

  Philip Arthur Moore

  20 Jan 2012 | 12:18 pm

  It’s been an extra big week in the news ’round these parts, so much so that the launch announcement of our latest premium theme seems like an extra extra good way to headline our Friday. Newsy is a versatile business and news-friendly theme that offers up to ten different layouts, four footer columns, custom link and accent colors, and a custom site header. Brand and content-focused editorial teams will love publishing with this theme. Newsy: Home Page Designed by Themify, Newsy comes with an impressive set of Theme Options that afford you a great deal of flexibility with how you…

• Read All Your Favorite Blogs in One Place

  Erica Johnson

  19 Jan 2012 | 6:04 pm

  If you feel like it’s a chore to keep up with all your favorite blogs, you can now read posts from all the blogs you follow (even the ones that aren’t on WordPress.com!) in one convenient place on the WordPress.com home page: Your reader displays all the posts across all the blogs you follow in the order they were published, with the most recent content appearing at the top. You’ll see an excerpt of the introduction to each post, the first image in the post, and thumbnails of any other images that the post contains. You can even like and reblog WordPress.com content directly…

• 

  ani ani fish"Wallpapers"

• Bella Thorne Wallpapers Will be Nice Appreance

  xl

  4 Jan 2012 | 6:56 am

  Annabella Avery "Bella" Thorne (born October 8, 1997) is an American actress and model. An accomplished child model and actress with appearances in more than 20 films and television series and more than 40 commercials, she is best known for her role as the aspiring young dancer, CeCe Jones on the Disney Channel original series Shake It Up. Bella Thorne accomplish out at Brilliant Magazine’s

• Extra With Appearances Bella Thorne Wallpapers

  xl

  4 Jan 2012 | 6:29 am

  Annabella Avery "Bella" Thorne (born October 8, 1997) is an American extra and model. An able adolescent archetypal and extra with appearances in added than 20 films and television alternation and added than 40 commercials, she is best accepted for her role as the ambitious adolescent dancer, CeCe Jones on the Disney Channel aboriginal alternation Shake It Up. Bella Thorne accomplish out at

• The anthology featured rihanna wallpaper

  xl

  16 Dec 2011 | 9:50 am

  After signing with Def Jam, she spent the abutting three months recording and commutual her admission album.The anthology featured assembly from Evan Rogers, Carl Sturken, Stargate and Poke & Tone.She aboriginal collaborated with rapper Memphis Bleek on his fourth flat anthology 534 afore her debut. She appear her admission single, "Pon de Replay", on August 22, 2005, which ailing at cardinal two

• Alternate rihanna wallpapers

  xl

  16 Dec 2011 | 9:44 am

  In December 2003, Rihanna met American music ambassador Evan Rogers through a alternate acquaintance who knew Rogers' wife.When Rogers and his Bajan-born wife were in Barbados for the holidays, Rihanna and her two bandmates auditioned for him in his auberge room, who said that "the minute Rihanna absolved into the room, it was like the added two girls didn't exist." While auditioning for Rogers,

• A apparel rihanna wallpapers

  xl

  16 Dec 2011 | 9:40 am

  Rihanna was built-in Robyn Rihanna Fenty on February 20, 1988, in Saint Michael, Barbados, to Monica Braithwaite, a retired accountant, and Ronald Fenty, a barn administrator for a apparel factory. Her mother, a built-in of Guyana, is Afro-Guyanese, and her ancestor is of Barbadian and Irish descent.Rihanna was built-in Robyn Rihanna Fenty on February 20, 1988, in Saint Michael, Barbados, to

• 

  American Family

• grievance list

  AmericanFamily

  27 Jan 2012 | 10:14 am

  I forgot to publish this yesterday, so two posts today. Things that are working my last nerve: 1) When Mr. A calls and acts like he is asking my permission to work late/work the weekend/work a previously agreed upon time when he is supposed to be home.  9 times out of 10, he has already [...]

• backing up

  AmericanFamily

  27 Jan 2012 | 8:48 am

  You all may not have noticed, but I gave myself a nice little blog break there.  In part, this is because I feel guilty because I still haven’t answered all the questions I requested…way back in OCTOBER. The questions I have left are complicated, so I haven’t been eager to answer them.  But if I [...]

• the poop that saved my blog

  AmericanFamily

  24 Jan 2012 | 8:28 am

  So Kroger finally called me back 47 hours after the pooptastrophe.  I didn’t know it when I got the phone call, but no less than four Kroger corporate IP addresses accessed my blog by googling phrases like “Worthington Kroger shit” and “American Family kroger poop story”. This tells me two things: a) they were doing [...]

• 

  welcome to my brain . net

• Strong or miserable?

  28 Jan 2012 | 4:36 am

• You won't believe what my husband did

  27 Jan 2012 | 10:26 am

  I am lousy at sending things. Mailing things. Like LOUSY.I have a ton of people in my life who are amazing at sending me things. Cards, gifts, funny little things they find along the way. Like AMAZING.So, yesterday morning there was a knock at the door. Our sweet flower delivery woman was standing there, as she has before, delivering flowers to someone in the park. But this time, the card had my name on it: "Christine." FLOWERS! FOR ME! Eeeee!The card was not signed. It just said, "You're the best!" It was obviously written by one of the women at the flower shop. My mind immediately went to…

• Get out of your own way

  26 Jan 2012 | 11:40 am

  Sixteen years ago, if I hadn't dared to move to a city I didn't know, take a job that made absolutely no sense to me, just to be closer to a man I knew I loved ... I wouldn't still be with that man today. He is my life love. We both make the other want to poke our own eyes out with a stick all. the. time. But we wouldn't want to share that insanity with anyone else. Every single day.If we hadn't dared to move forward with an adoption, despite the naysayers, we would not be sitting in the family we have today. Good, bad, ugly ... horrific. I still choose my family. I am glad for my family.If…

• Magical Milk Pic-o-the-Week

  24 Jan 2012 | 9:03 am

  "This mom and twins were visiting our clinic when she allowed us to take this photo."(photo from my sweet friend, Lori, I still have never actually met)*you can submit your own Magical Milk Pic to magicalmilkpics@hotmail.com*

• Death to the Sexperiment

  23 Jan 2012 | 9:43 am

  It has come to my attention that Ed Young, Jr. has reclaimed his "Sexperiment" from years ago. He wrote a book. He's pimping the heck out of it. So, to call February the "Sexperiment" may lead people to believe that I'm aligning myself with he and his products (and by "products," I mean books and Bible studies, not lube and toys).I kept the name as a gentle mockery of the fact that Michael and I totally out-bumped-uglies against the Youngs that first year. That was the fun of it for me. Now ... not so much. We are going to rename it. It belongs to all of us. We're taking it back. Lube talk…

• 

  A Birth Project

• “Altar of Unknown” in River, Blood Corn: A Literary Journal

  Lisa Marie

  24 Jan 2012 | 3:20 pm

  I’m thrilled that I’m featured in the January 2012 issue of River, Blood Corn: A Literary Journal! I’ve been thinking so much about the incredible resilience of adoptees and fostered people. We move through our lives with so many things that are ‘lost’ or ‘missing’ or ‘absent’. I put those words in parentheticals because the words themselves don’t actually articulate well what it means to have these complete ‘unknowns’ drawn on pieces of our lives. Its not like I feel this ‘loss’ or ‘absence’ in a…

• I’m featured on “Land of Gazillion Adoptees”!

  Lisa Marie

  28 Oct 2011 | 9:09 pm

  Just wanted to share that I was recently featured on Land of a Gazillion Adoptee as a guest. Check out the podcast here! We had a great conversation. I hope you all enjoy it. I had a chance to talk about fear, activism and artistic work. I’d love to hear what you all think! Filed under: African adoptee, African Adoption, black adoptee, Good Stuff, In the News, International Adoption, Race, Transracial Adoption Tagged: adult adoptees, African adoptee, african american adoptee, black adoptee, International Adoption, multiracial, Transracial Adoption

• Oct 6, 7 & 8 – 8pm Berkeley, CA

  Lisa Marie

  21 Sep 2011 | 3:20 pm

  Please come!!! BUY YOUR TICKETS NOW! also – are you on my email list? Read my most recent update! Filed under: "solo performance", "theater", African Adoption, black adoptee, International Adoption, Mixed Race, multiracial, Performance, Poetry, Transracial Adoption

• Fall Enters In

  Lisa Marie

  4 Sep 2011 | 6:31 pm

  Its been a long, cold and busy busy summer. I just came back from visiting my parents in WA state and it was warmer up there than it has been in the Bay Area all spring and summer! I just hope we don’t skip what is usually a warm fall for us and head straight into the rainy winter season. I’m in full, unabashed production and promotion mode for the October 6, 7 & 8th shows of “Ungrateful Daughter: One Black girl’s story of being adopted into a White family… that aren’t celebrities” at La Pena Cultural Center here in Berkeley. I’m thrilled…

• “Memory Sucks” by Beau Sia

  Lisa Marie

  21 Jun 2011 | 11:36 pm

  Filed under: Poetry Tagged: Beau Sia, heartbreak, love, Poetry, video poems

• 

  Vindauga

• It's Just a Story, Keep Telling Yourself

  Lisa V

  26 Jan 2012 | 9:32 am

  So Anna prompted me to writing.  Let's talk about adoption and television. Once Upon A Time for those who haven't seen it, is the story of how all the fairy tale characters have been put into modern times by a curse from the Evil Queen.  Most of them don't remember how they came to Storyville. There are flash backs of life in the fairy tale kingdom to explain character development and plot points to the viewer, but for the most part the characters are ignorant. The true exception is the Evil Queen. She is the town Mayor and controls all. She's also an adoptive mother.

• Bad Mood Dude

  Lisa V

  24 Jan 2012 | 9:30 am

  If I had written yesterday , you would have just hard about everything pissing me off. Some of it justified, some of it not so much. Then I read it was Blue Monday and decided to take that cosmic explanation. I also believe in the Easter Bunny. I want to write about a couple of shows that we are watching and how they treat adoption, Once Upon a Time and Parenthood. Maybe tonight. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe next week.

• Friday

  Lisa V

  20 Jan 2012 | 8:43 am

  I skipped yesterday. I worked a long day and was staying away from keyboard and reading for my book club tonight. We're reading The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien. If I had posted, I would asked you what are some of your favorite books that you want to talk about? There are a lot of great books, but not all books illicit discussion. Tell me those you'd find interesting to discuss and I'll take them to book club. For now, it's Friday.

• SOPA

  Lisa V

  18 Jan 2012 | 9:00 am

  Oatmeal's take on SOPA. And lastly, Google.

• Three Modern Miracles

  Lisa V

  17 Jan 2012 | 8:03 am

  So, I'm sometimes late to the game of the newest and coolest. Most of the time it's money related, but it also takes me awhile to figure out if some new pricey gadget is really an enhancement to my life, or just a gimmick I don't really need. I've found three things in the last month that make we squeal with joy and gratitude that I'm not living as a pioneer. iPhone First, I got an iPhone for Christmas. Not the new one, the deeply discounted 4G. That discount and the fact that the data plan is covered by my job finally made it affordable. I love it more than I ever…

• 

  this woman's work

• thearkhproject

  Dawn

  26 Jan 2012 | 8:27 am

  thearkhproject

• cocoku: Miss Representation – the Documentary is now available…

  Dawn

  21 Jan 2012 | 11:02 am

  cocoku: Miss Representation - the Documentary is now available to watch, in full, on youtube. “…In a society where media is the most persuasive force shaping cultural norms, the collective message that our young women and men overwhelmingly receive is that a woman’s value and power lie in her youth, beauty, and sexuality, and not in her capacity as a leader. While women have made great strides in leadership over the past few decades, the United States is still 90th in the world for women in national legislatures, women hold only 3% of clout positions in mainstream media, and 65% of…

• From Time.com: “King said in an interview that this photograph…

  Dawn

  16 Jan 2012 | 5:10 pm

  From Time.com: “King said in an interview that this photograph was taken as he tried to explain to his daughter Yolanda why she could not go to Funtown, a whites-only amusement park in Atlanta.King claims to have been tongue-tied when speaking to her. ‘One of the most painful experiences I have ever faced was to see her tears when I told her Funtown was closed to colored children, for I realized the first dark cloud of inferiority had floated into her little mental sky.’” (via Some Reflections on the Limits of Sainthood « The Crunk Feminist Collective)

• From Time.com: “King said in an interview that this photograph…

  Dawn

  16 Jan 2012 | 5:10 pm

  From Time.com: “King said in an interview that this photograph was taken as he tried to explain to his daughter Yolanda why she could not go to Funtown, a whites-only amusement park in Atlanta.King claims to have been tongue-tied when speaking to her. ‘One of the most painful experiences I have ever faced was to see her tears when I told her Funtown was closed to colored children, for I realized the first dark cloud of inferiority had floated into her little mental sky.’” (via Some Reflections on the Limits of Sainthood « The Crunk Feminist Collective)

• Facebook may be bad for your mental health

  Dawn

  13 Jan 2012 | 7:01 am

  A newly published study suggests the phenomenally popular social networking site may be skewing the way users perceive their lives. It finds those carefully selected photos of cheerful, contented people cumulatively convey a self-esteem-shattering message: Our lives are fantastic! What’s wrong with you? You know there’s nothing wrong with you, right? I say we should all do the virtual world a favor and include more whine in our updates. I mean, when there’s something worth whining about. Otherwise, carry on with your bad, bragging self! It’s all good! Let’s just all remember that…

• 

  Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity

• Adoption approved for West Palm Beach mom, daughter after 4 years

  Christina

  26 Jan 2012 | 3:07 pm

  From CBS12 : Angie adopted Jada as a seven-month old baby from a Vietnam orphanage. But Vietnamese and U.S. officials stalled the adoption process. Angie’s very public fight for her daughter last year, resulted in other families joining with her. The Vietnamese government approved the stalled adoptions. The email that changed everything came two days [...]

• Irish-VN Adoptions To Resume In Coming Months

  Christina

  17 Jan 2012 | 12:42 pm

  Vietnam is set to ratify the Hague Convention on February 1, and Ireland has been taking steps toward a new adoption agreement, with an eye on resuming adoptions early this year. According to The Irish Times: Minister for Children Frances Fitzgerald, who recently returned from talks with officials in Hanoi, said she had made significant [...]

• Families bring Vietnamese orphans home following three year fight

  Tracy

  28 Dec 2011 | 9:15 pm

  From Fox 59 (Indiana): A time of celebration, tears of joy, and indescribable emotion. Wednesday, two central Indiana families got their miracle, years in the making. Three years ago, three Indiana couples thought they were months away from rescuing their children from a decaying Vietnam orphanage. They had no idea what they were about to [...]

• Ambassador Visits Bac Lieu Orphanage

  Tracy

  1 Dec 2011 | 1:14 pm

  The following note was posted on the website of the US Embassy in Hanoi, Vietnam: On November 29, Ambassador David Shear visited Bac Lieu province in southeast Vietnam. His itinerary in the province included a visit to Bac Lieu orphanage and meetings with local officials. While the Embassy has given no further public details about the [...]

• Adoption issues clearer following Vietnam’s backing of accord, says [Irish] Minister

  Christina

  28 Nov 2011 | 7:44 pm

  From the Irish Times: THERE ARE issues still to be addressed in the area of adoption between Ireland and Vietnam, Minister of State for Trade And Development Jan O’Sullivan said yesterday, but the situation had improved considerably since Hanoi ratified the Hague Convention on Intercountry Adoption. “There is more clarity about what the issues are, [...]

• 

  Third Mom

• Intercountry adoption according to me

  Margie

  26 Jan 2012 | 1:44 pm

  I want to talk to the adoptive parents in the house who are struggling with the debate over intercountry adoption. I’m not excluding adopted people and first parents here, but believe that what I have to say on this topic will resonate less, if at all, with you.If you are the parent of an internationally-adopted child, you undoubtedly love that child so much and care for him or her so tenderly that you cannot imagine why someone would want to deny another child the same, especially if you believe that the only alternative is life in an institution. You see how good intercountry adoption can…

• Voice of Love or Love Misled?

  Margie

  25 Jan 2012 | 1:49 pm

  It’s all over the internet, particularly the online Korean adoption community: a new campaign urging the Korean government to change its current plan to continue to reduce intercountry adoptions each year until 2016, at which point they will end.Called Voice of Love, the campaign is led by Onnuri English Ministry pastor Eddie Byun, who is based in Seoul, and Hope for Orphans leader Paul Pennington. The campaign is seeking 30-second videos “describing how Korean adoption has blessed your life,” which the campaign will post on its site to deliver a message to the Korean government that…

• Coming Home

  Margie

  3 Jan 2012 | 1:46 pm

  I'm coming home - let the eyes roll.I tried an angry blog, and it didn't work. Anger just begot anger, and it didn't get me where I wanted to go, which is to some actual change.I tried a calm blog, and it didn't work.  I really do want to be calmer about things, but I just couldn't reconcile it with what I see happening in adoption.This really is it. Really. Probably, anyway.Gosh, I missed Naksansa!

• Good-bye, Judy

  Margie

  9 Dec 2011 | 12:36 pm

  The world lost an incredible woman yesterday.  Judy lost her battle with inflammatory breast cancer.When I met Judy four years ago she was at the start of her battle with this horrible, awful disease.  I went back to her posts from that time and find them to be so honest as to bring me to tears.  She was scared, for herself, her son and her husband, but also willing to look that fear straight in the eyes and challenge it.  She  came out of her diagnosis swinging, and never stopped, not for one second.When I think of the people she has helped by writing about IBC and…

• Moving On

  Margie

  17 Jan 2011 | 4:32 pm

  After a blissfully blog-free holiday, I have come to the decision that I'm really a much happier person away from the online world then a part of it.  I've therefore decided to retire Third Mom.I've really said everything I can possibly say about my adoptive parenting experience, and I'm increasingly uncomfortable about invading my kids' privacy by writing about them in any way, which writing about parenting must do.  This more than anything makes it time to go - from here, anyway.I owe a debt of thanks to so many people for their support these past five years, and couldn't possibly…

• 

  Writing My Wrongs

• Facing and Embracing the Dark

  Suz

  20 Jan 2012 | 3:18 pm

  Are you familiar with the aspects of your personality referred to as your Persona and your Shadow?  Rather simplistically, let me state that people who study these things (you know, psychotherapy types like Freud and Jung) suggest that your whole self is comprised of two parts – the Good part (the Persona) and the Bad part (the Shadow). Good is not necessarily good as you might interpret the word at first. Rather it is only good because society has told you it is good.  Conversely, the bad part of you, the Shadow, is also only bad because society makes it so. Bad may not be bad at all…

• Opinion versus Defamation in Adoption Blogging

  Suz

  15 Jan 2012 | 11:06 am

  “Prejudice is a great time saver. You can form opinions without having to get the facts.” – E.B. White A week or so ago I received an odd email that was something between spam and legit.  At first I ignored it but later felt compelled to open and read it. Perhaps it was the legit sounding from address or the subject of the message.  When I opened I read a message from an alleged privacy attorney in the Boston area. The message author seemed to have read my blog for there were reference to it, by name and topic, in the body of the message. The author launched into an abbreviated…

• An Invitation: Illinois OBC

  Suz

  11 Jan 2012 | 3:04 pm

  Received an e-mail from Melisha Mitchell of White Oak today.  While I remain ambivalent about the recent changes to Illinois law, I know many of my readers and friends are pleased (as they have benefitted from the changes whereas other friends did not), I will paste an excerpt from Melisha’s email for your general awareness. Illinois/Chicago-area residents may be interested in attending. (Seriously, what pleases me here is Jean Strauss presence as her work is incredible). “…invite all those who live in the Chicago area to join us for a very special celebration,…

• 

  The Chronicles of Munchkin Land

• Helpless

  Jenna

  19 Jan 2012 | 7:30 pm

  I cannot leave my cell phone unattended during the day when my oldest son is at school. I panic that if I go to the bathroom or dare to attend a workout class without the thing glued to me that the school will call, that my son will have been in some sort of accident or is horribly sick and needs me — and I’m unavailable while I’m sweating to the oldies. In fact, one day after a meeting, I forgot to turn my ringer back on and, wouldn’t you know it, BigBrother had been pushed on the playground, had a scrape and bump on his head and I missed the damn phone call. They…

• When I Disappear

  Jenna

  10 Jan 2012 | 9:45 pm

  As open book as I am, there are topics I don’t write about here for any number of reasons. Often, I am busy protecting the stories of the others, respecting their boundaries and allowing them their own space to live their own story. Like how I don’t write about the fact that, yes, I do have personal experience with reunion in my family. Like any number of any other things that get too far into the nitty gritty of who we are and why we’re here and what we’re doing. I won’t write some things because I don’t want to. But sometimes… Sometimes I…

• A Bit of Adoption Wisdom from Harry’s Law

  Jenna

  4 Jan 2012 | 9:13 pm

  I don’t watch Harry’s Law. I have enough lawyer/law/police TV on my already full TV watching schedule and a DVR that’s too full to catch up on everything anyway. But sometimes the TV gets left on, and twice now I have seen this episode, entitled “American Girl.” I missed the judge’s speech the first time around and it made my breath catch in my throat tonight. The premise of this particular story is that a Chinese biological family traced their daughter to Ohio. They did not place her for adoption; she was stolen and adopted by an American couple four years…

• Open Adoption Roundtable 33: What I Learned in 2011

  Jenna

  1 Jan 2012 | 11:33 am

  The newest Open Adoption Roundtable prompts us: What did you learn about open adoption in 2011? Oh, 2011. I learned a few things about open adoption in 2011, and almost none of what I learned came from my daughter, her parents or my own immediate family. It came from people outside of our family, from people who don’t (and won’t) have a say in how we act, react, educate our children or function as a family unit. And not to be cynical on the first day of a new year, but most of what I learned wasn’t good. However, when you look at the lessons I’ve learned this year as a…

• Top Posts of 2011

  Jenna

  31 Dec 2011 | 4:17 pm

  Looking back on 2011 1. The Adoption Reading Challenge — I’m pleased that this was the top post on the blog this year. Many people visited, joined, read and reviewed books about adoption. I consider last year a success and look forward to the Adoption Reading Challenge 2012. Join us! 2. Let’s Just Cool It With the Casey Anthony Adoption Talk, Okay? — I’m actually not pleased that this post is in the Top 10, let alone in second place. Lots of people landed on that post by searching for variations on Casey’s name and various adoption terms. However, lots of…

• 

  Mommyhood and Life

• Pregnancy Testing Question Six : Is There A Particular Period Of Time That I Should Take The Test?

  mommy

  24 Jan 2012 | 10:45 am

  As the technology is advancing each day, the pregnancy test being carried out today are way more trustworthy and convenient. Pregnancy tests are important not only to recognize the pregnancy, but the identifying of pregnancy at the correct time is needed for the sounder health of pregnant mum and the healthful expansion of the baby. Over- the – counter pregnancy tests are similarly effective. The significance of these appointments shouldn’t be deprecated as they confirm any aberration in pregnancy or decides whether there are any risk indicators concerned in the pregnancy.

• Pregnancy After Tubal Ligation And Tubal Reversal.

  mommy

  8 Jan 2012 | 5:41 pm

  Pregnancy can sometimes be one of the most delightful times in a woman’s life. Except for some, it may be the hardest. I suspect that fear, conscious or sub-conscious, might be the underlying reason for women that have challenging pregnancies. Risks There are few risks linked with this cosmetic treatment, though as with any sort of beauty care there’s a possibility of infection if the pro you have chosen doesn’t correctly clean the area and clobber. Fears while carrying a child can be comprised of, changes in your body, imminent work, being accountable for another homo…

• Is Chamomile Tea Safe When Pregnant.

  mommy

  8 Jan 2012 | 9:00 am

  Angina relief when pregnant is exceedingly important to all girls that are consistently afflicted with this intensely unpleasant condition. These expecting ladies need to know precisely what they can take to make their burning discomfort go for good. Medicines often appear to work, but there may be some complications with some medicines. In this post, I am going to be sharing 4 things some medicines might contain that may be bad for you. Angina Relief While Carrying A Child You Should Not Take :. Don’t take medicines that have aluminium in them. Maybe the most straightforward is…

• Be A Mom With A Pregnancy Miracle.

  mommy

  4 Jan 2012 | 4:32 am

  Following pregnancy, many girls struggle to lose some pounds and those that succeed are still left with the appearance of repugnant stretch-marks on their stomach and chest. They ultimately fade into a lighter, but still awfully identifiable, appearance. What’s Microdermabrasion? This system involves spraying the upper layer of skin, called the skin, with crystals that scrub and remove dead cells which are then removed with a suction machine. Incontinence may start at the start of pregnancy and not end till well after the baby is born. The process is sometimes used on many various parts…

• Foot And Ankle Issues Can Develop While Carrying A Child.

  mommy

  20 Dec 2011 | 11:57 pm

  New Jersey has some of the wealthiest state remitted incapacity benefit programs for pregnancy and pregnancy leave. Are you able to pay your debts for 16 weeks on $561 per week, before taxes? This is a crucial question worth asking yourself if you’re employed in New Jersey, and you are arranging a pregnancy. Though not each couple can afford to miss just about 4 weeks of effort with a serious pay cut. You are covered for 4 weeks before your delivery, and at least 6 weeks after you give birth. Pregnant moms avoid lengthened exposure to low frequency sound levels ( lt;250 Hz ) above sixty…

• 

  FAMILY PRESERVATION ADVOCACY

• Swimming Against the Tide

  Mirah Riben

  11 Jan 2012 | 10:34 am

  Dr. Joe Mercola is renegade. He has been called every hateful name: charlatan, snake oil salesman and dangerous.He is a medical doctor who started as a traditional physician, treating patients by writing prescriptions. After ten years he realized that all he was doing was treating symptoms and not the cause of illness and disease.  He began to study alternative health solutions such a vitamins.  In this sense he is very much like social workers such as Annette Baran who became vocal opponents to the methods they had been taught and were considered the status quo. He and they…

• Surrogacy, Adoption and the Commodification of Children

  Mirah Riben

  3 Jan 2012 | 12:02 pm

  Recently a "news" report - the kind that is more concerned with whop in Hollywood is marrying, jailed or breaking up - reported on a celeb couple who had a baby "via surrogacy." It was said as if the baby was born via cesarian. This is how nonchalant we have come about the practice of paying for babies - or for the eggs, or sperm or the "rental' of one's womb.The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood is defined as "a dystopian novel, a work of science fiction or speculative fiction. And yet it is very much reality. The book describes a point in time when fertility rates are so low, fertile women…

• DEBUNKING ADOPTION MYTHS

  Mirah Riben

  2 Jan 2012 | 12:00 pm

  Kate Middleton is among the latest to express an interest in adoption as an ac of altruistic humanitarianism. But is it?  Are there really thousands of "orphans" "languishing" in institutions in need of care or is it all propagandized hype produced by lobbyists for the mega billion dollar adoption industry?Bookmark this page and send a link to it to any and all who have consumed the Kool-Aid and are under mesmerized by the glamour and mythology of adoption ignoring the reality. First off, let us ask why is it that someone like Pastor Kim Do-hyun, director of KoRoo, an organization that…

• Same Sex Adoption

  Mirah Riben

  20 Dec 2011 | 11:31 am

  For some time the headlines have screamed of discrimination against same sex couples adopting. Catholic agencies have closed their doors rather than go against their beliefs and allow gay couples to adopt children.  Gays are up in arms and many claim that such policies only hurt the children who could benefit from loving homes regardless of the sexual orientation of those who care for them.When I went to press with THE STORK MARKET in 2007, the topic was just becoming an issue and my thoughts were not yet fully formed.  I am an extremely liberal progressive and fully and totally…

• Adoption Blindness, Entitlement, Denial and Justification.

  Mirah Riben

  5 Dec 2011 | 12:52 pm

  Some theorists posit that beliefs are formed first, then we find facts to fit our beliefs. Other researchers claim the brain processes facts and beliefs in exactly the same way. Joe Keohane, writing for the Boston Globe on "How Facts Backfire" notes: "[I]t’s never been easier for people to be wrong, and at the same time feel more certain that they’re right."That adoption is a good thing is ingrained into the minds and hearts of the average person - and even deeper ingrained in most who have adopted and some adoption "professionals." It sits on a pedestal on high along with sunshine…

• 

  Adoption Blogs

• Call Me Snicklefritz!

  Patricia D

  24 Jan 2012 | 3:03 pm

  I talked to my son today on the phone. We haven’t talked in a couple of weeks because we’ve both just been very busy. Afterwards he sent me an email with some dates he and his wife would be available for a visit. They didn’t make it down for Christmas and all their presents are in a pile in my living room, no tree left to explain their presence. Life happens. And he’s been knee deep in going to school to be a paramedic, volunteering as an EMT and Firefighter, remodeling his house, and finding time to be with his equally busy wife who is a nurse at the Mayo Clinic. But…

• The Temporary End of Family Visits

  Dreena T

  24 Jan 2012 | 6:11 am

  This is a hard post to write because I still have mixed feelings about this topic:  Birth mom visits.  In the case of our three youngest, prior to mom’s voluntary termination in July of 2010, they had had weekly visits with her, supervised at the CPS office.  At the mediation, we agreed to twice monthly visits until adoption, followed by quarterly visits thereafter supervised by me or my hubby.  We also had a “missed visit” clause; if she missed two consecutive visits for any reason, we could stop the visits all together.  Any adjustments or rescheduling was completely…

• Whole Food Heaven

  Donna V

  23 Jan 2012 | 11:13 am

  So it’s been about a week of whole foods, no preservatives, no high fructose corn syrup and I am grudgingly convinced that we might be on to something. Nothing big yet but definitely some noticeable differences. First, there were the two days of apparent withdrawal from all the gunk in their food, and the kids were atrocious, like they all had PMS. Then I noticed how much easier my job is, not having to monitor what they’re getting from the kitchen. There’s absolutely nothing they can’t eat in the kitchen anymore, so they can get whatever they want whenever they want.

• A Feeling of Entitlement with Adoption

  Russell

  22 Jan 2012 | 1:06 pm

  My wife and I have been following a story that has been going on about a thousand miles away from us and their experience begs the question- At what point is the baby “our” baby? It’s not something that I hadn’t thought about before, but I ache when I see the way this particular couple has been handling their situation. I’ll get back to that couple’s story in a second, but permit me to go back early into our second adoption when we were first contacted. When we met our daughter’s birthmother for the first time, she told us about the couple she had originally chosen. For reasons…

• Perspective

  Angie

  21 Jan 2012 | 11:08 am

  Having an exchange student in my home has given me another perspective on life. Things in America are definitely different from in other countries. The things that we take for granted are not often not true in other parts of the world. One of the biggest differences is the Foster Care System. Those of you involved know that a lot of legalities go into the protection of children- sometimes it can feel as though there are too many hoops to jump through. If a child falls into an unsafe situation in America, the foster care system gets involved and tries to do what is best for the family. I…

• 

  birthmom-confessions of

• The legacy of the abused child

  birthmom1986

  10 Jan 2012 | 5:24 pm

  Child abuse. It is hard to be in a seemingly normal family when the perpetrator is dead. It is like this disease that people only talk about in hushed voices. This thing that is always there for the two of us. Me and my sister. Although I believe I got the worst, we were both still abused nonetheless. Nobody wants to deny the fact that we were abused, and nobody wants to deal with it either.My father was one of those "I go to work" dads. You know, I go to work, I have too much to deal with. I remember a neighbor lady used to complain to my father all the time, and finally, fed up with his…

• 6 Jan 2012 | 3:26 pm

  birthmom1986

  6 Jan 2012 | 3:26 pm

  I have been irritable all day. The day was shot to hell when I had problems with the lathe at work. Anyhow, there are a few new readers here. I want to clarify my goal with this blog. This blog is here for me to heal. To heal of the wounds that were dealt to me years ago. Just like a scab, the wounds have been so deep, and they would scab over and then something would trigger it and the scabs would be torn off only to bleed again.I have good days and bad days. And it isn't all to deal with the relinquishment and the aftermath, although it was the biggie. I get pissed when I want to talk about…

• 5 Jan 2012 | 5:20 pm

  birthmom1986

  5 Jan 2012 | 5:20 pm

  I read up on Rick Santorum. Man that dude scares the hell out of me. One thing that pisses me off is his stance on gays. Okay, my daughter is gay. She came out a couple of years ago. No big deal. In fact, I'm happy for her that she is happy and out. I'm not going to go into great detail because my blood literally starts to boil, but it really pisses me off when gays are compared to beastiality. (sic)That just sickens me. To no end.

• 1 Jan 2012 | 10:52 am

  birthmom1986

  1 Jan 2012 | 10:52 am

  New Years resolutions are bullshit. For years, my resolution is to forgive myself for the unthinkable. I have come to realize that will never happen. How can you forgive yourself for doing the unthinkable? You don't. You just don't.I think back to that day and it is rather sad. The last day in the hospital and my best friend took the day off of school and we just sat and cried. No family, no other friends there. And the family that was there was telling me how stupid I would be to bring home my own baby. I was 15. I wasn't 18 or older. When I looked around to see who was on my side, it was…

• 24 Dec 2011 | 3:59 pm

  birthmom1986

  24 Dec 2011 | 3:59 pm

  Well here we are another year passed. Another year of successful reunion, and unexpected happenings. Good things going on. Out of the blue one day I get a friend request from her birthfather. Of course, I friended him and sent a text to my daughter she will probably get a request from him. I hope things work out. Back when we reunited, facebook was a new thing and not everyone had one. Now everyone has one and it is so nice to get back in touch.I know how he feels to look at her pictures and see someone who is quite possibly the most beautiful person in the world. Just to know her is an…

• 

  WordPress.com News

• Chrome Users: Try the WordPress.com Extension

  Christopher Finke

  27 Jan 2012 | 1:54 pm

  Want to receive WordPress.com notifications instantly, even when you’re not on WordPress.com? Add the new WordPress.com extension for Chrome and as soon as you get a new follower or a new like on one of your posts, a notification will appear in your browser: Simply click the icon to view your latest WordPress.com notifications: Start following new blogs without visiting WordPress.com The Chrome extension also makes it easy to follow sites from your WordPress.com account by displaying a Follow button whenever you’re browsing a site that has an RSS feed. Clicking the Follow button…

• Your Stats Have a New Home

  Andy Skelton

  26 Jan 2012 | 10:46 am

  Are you addicted to checking your site stats? You are not alone. The stats dashboard has always been one of the most popular admin screens. It’s gratifying to know that people are visiting your place online. With the WordPress.com front page evolving into a one-stop shop for posting, exploring, following and reading blogs, it seemed natural to put your blog stats there, too.  Stats are becoming more and more about interacting with your readers and other bloggers. You’ll still see your summary stats and chart on your main dashboard, and the full stats page in your dashboard will…

• Reblogging is Back!

  Erica Johnson

  22 Jan 2012 | 1:27 pm

  As we mentioned last week, you can like and reblog posts directly from your reader, which displays a stream of all the updates published on all the blogs you follow from your WordPress.com account. We’ve also brought the reblog button back to the toolbar that appears at the top of the screen when you’re logged into WordPress.com. Note that you’ll only see the like and reblog options while you’re looking at individual posts. For example, you’ll see this on the left side of your toolbar while viewing http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/read-blogs: And your…

• New Theme: Newsy

  Philip Arthur Moore

  20 Jan 2012 | 12:18 pm

  It’s been an extra big week in the news ’round these parts, so much so that the launch announcement of our latest premium theme seems like an extra extra good way to headline our Friday. Newsy is a versatile business and news-friendly theme that offers up to ten different layouts, four footer columns, custom link and accent colors, and a custom site header. Brand and content-focused editorial teams will love publishing with this theme. Newsy: Home Page Designed by Themify, Newsy comes with an impressive set of Theme Options that afford you a great deal of flexibility with how you…

• Read All Your Favorite Blogs in One Place

  Erica Johnson

  19 Jan 2012 | 6:04 pm

  If you feel like it’s a chore to keep up with all your favorite blogs, you can now read posts from all the blogs you follow (even the ones that aren’t on WordPress.com!) in one convenient place on the WordPress.com home page: Your reader displays all the posts across all the blogs you follow in the order they were published, with the most recent content appearing at the top. You’ll see an excerpt of the introduction to each post, the first image in the post, and thumbnails of any other images that the post contains. You can even like and reblog WordPress.com content directly…

• 

  Birthmother

• A Poem titled "New Year's Eve" by Carl Dennis

  31 Dec 2011 | 1:50 pm

  NEW YEAR’S EVEHowever busy you are, you should still reserveOne evening a year for thinking about your double,The man who took the curve on Conway RoadToo fast, given the icy patches that night,But no faster than you did; the man whose carWhen it slid through the shoulderHappened to strike a girl walking aloneFrom a neighbor’s party to her parents’ farm,While your car struck nothing more notableThan a snowbank.One evening for recalling how soon you transformedYour accident into a comic taleTold first at a body shop, for comparingThat hour of pleasure with his hour of painAt the house of…

• Christmas 1990

  25 Dec 2011 | 9:41 am

  Not long before Christmas I wrote a letter to my son detailing who I was and how I’d come to give him up for adoption. I enclosed a faded color snapshot of his biological father and me dressed in our pastel evening finery at our senior prom. I tried to imagine what my son would think when he saw those two innocent smiles. Would he realize that he was in the photo too? Christmas was just a couple of weeks away, so I wrapped the letter around the photo and put the packet in a red envelope, hoping to pass it off as a Christmas card. If he doesn’t write me back in a couple of weeks, I…

• Wishing everyone a...

  24 Dec 2011 | 2:35 pm

  .... relaxing holiday season surrounded by friends and family. May you bask in the glow of love wherever you are.

• Christmas Eve, 1969

  23 Dec 2011 | 9:05 pm

  Like the gifts stacked in our living room, disguised beneath ribbons and wrapping paper, my secret remains hidden.  In the kitchen our table nearly sags with plenty. A ham decorated with pineapple rings and maraschino cherries, an array of side dishes, baskets of rolls, towers of bread, a three-tiered tray layered with homemade cookies, fudge, and divinity. I want to stuff myself with all of it.  My father is tipsy when he arrives. He considers it his duty to spread Yuletide cheer among his employees before sending them home to enjoy the holiday. Now he's handing…

• Free Kindle Book: Saying Goodbye

  16 Dec 2011 | 12:00 pm

  This weekend, in a special promotion, you can get a free Kindle edition of Saying Goodbye, a collection of true stories about how we say goodbye to the people, places & things in our lives with grace, dignity & good humor. http://amzn.to/tcU8PPMy essay about saying goodbye to my newborn son, "Holding Him Softly," is in it.Here are a few snippets of reviews about the collection: (and if you like the book, you might consider reviewing it on Amazon.)Tender perspectives helping readers with their own goodbyes. If you have ever had to deal with loss, read this book. It will make…

• 

  Adoption Update

• Adoption Tax Credit 2012

  adoptionupdate

  12 Jan 2012 | 1:58 pm

  Please help us save the adoption tax credit for 2012 – 2013. For many families the cost of an expensive adoption is what keeps them from bringing home a child – this tax credit helps alleviate some of the cost, but in 2012 it starts to diminish. The Senate Finance Committee is about to vote on “S. 82, the Adoption Tax Credit Guarantee Act” and we are petitioning for them to vote YES to save the adoption tax credit. ABOUT THE CREDIT: The average cost to adopt a child is any where from $25k- $35k or more. Currently, for the 2011 Tax Year Adopting families are eligible for: • A maximum…

• Adoption Tax Refund 2010 Confusion

  adoptionupdate

  16 Dec 2011 | 6:44 pm

  I don’t know about any of you, but the adoption tax refund process was a nightmare for us. We filed in March and finally received our refund in November. It took a very long time! The General Accounting Office released a report discussing this very issue. GAO Releases Report on the Adoption Tax Credit In response to concerns about processing problems and delays related to the adoption tax credit, the General Accounting Office (GAO) studied how the credit was processed during the 2010 tax season. During the research phase, NACAC was able to share with the GAO information we had gathered…

• Glee and Adoption

  adoptionupdate

  28 Oct 2011 | 5:48 pm

  The television show Glee is a leader in bringing positive portrayals of groups often bullied and misunderstood to the mainstream media.  The show portrays a diverse and complex cast that deals with real issues as real people, and it has been honored for this work by gay and civil rights organizations. But Glee’s portrayal of adoption through the story lines of the characters Quinn and Rachel falls short of this high standard. While it is admirable to show the very important reality that many mothers struggle with the decision to place a child for adoption, and many adopted children…

• New Mexico Program Opened in September

  adoptionupdate

  10 Oct 2011 | 5:05 pm

  For those of you interested in adopting from Mexico, a new program was opened with Across the World Adoptions in California. Click here to read more about the program, you will be reading the Mexico page on this website.

• Support Nutrition for Orphaned Children in Mexico, Vietnam and China

  adoptionupdate

  10 Oct 2011 | 4:54 pm

  Support Orphan Nutrition Support Orphan Nutrition programs!  It doesn’t cost you anything but you get a $1 coupon for YoBaby yogurt and YoBaby will also donate $1 to Nutrition programs in Mexico, Vietnam and China.   YoBaby is improving nutrition for orphaned, fostered and adopted children… and so can you with a few simple clicks! Click here, print the $1.00 off coupon forYoBaby yogurt and they’ll donate $1.00 to help improve orphan nutrition! Please note: You must PRINT the coupon for the donation to be made. Limit 1 print per person. Good for up to 3000 prints. 3000 prints =…

• 

  AdoptionTalk

• Birth Father Wins in Utah Supreme Court

  27 Jan 2012 | 7:58 pm

  Hmm, maybe the tide is turning!  Utah is notoriously unfriendly to birth fathers, but in this case the Utah Supreme Court has reversed a trial court's ruling that the birth father was not entitled to any say in his daughter's adoption, and remanded for a hearing on whether he had fully grasped the opportunity to be a legal parent:The Utah Supreme Court ruled Friday that a Colorado father was improperly denied a say in his infant daughter’s adoption and sent the case back to a lower court for a rehearing.In a split decision that establishes a new ground rule for future cases, the…

• Former U.S. Diplomat Testifies in Argentina's "Baby Stealing" Trial

  26 Jan 2012 | 10:48 pm

  A follow-up by the AP to the story I posted yesterday about information the U.S. holds, through classified documents and past diplomats, about Argentina's military junta stealing children from dissidents and placing them with families loyal to the regime during the "Dirty War" of the '70s & '80s:A former U.S. diplomat testified Thursday that American officials knew Argentina's military regime was taking babies from dead or jailed dissidents during its "dirty war" against leftists in the 1970s, and it appeared to be a systematic effort at the time. Elliot Abrams testified by…

• Listen Up, Adoptive Parents!

  26 Jan 2012 | 9:54 pm

  Margie of Third Mom has something important to tell us:If you are the parent of an internationally-adopted child, you undoubtedly love that child so much and care for him or her so tenderly that you cannot imagine why someone would want to deny another child the same, especially if you believe that the only alternative is life in an institution. You see how good intercountry adoption can be, and believe it is the very best we can offer to children in need, here and around the world.But maybe, like my family, you’ve experienced shoddy adoption practices or even adoption corruption first…

• Diane Rehm Show: Adoptees Using DNA to Find Family

  26 Jan 2012 | 9:35 pm

  Today's Diane Rehm Show on NPR was about adoptees using DNA to find family, as discussed in this New York Times piece.  Not surprisingly, the show addressed closed adoption records, too (you can't discuss one without the other, it seems to me).You can listen to the show here, and/or read the transcript here.

• Past Adoptions From Mexico Questioned in Ireland

  26 Jan 2012 | 9:21 pm

  The Irish Times reports that some are questioning past adoptions from Mexico to Ireland, in light of the latest scandal involving trafficking allegations involving 11 Irish couples who tried to adopt in Mexico:A claim by the Minister for Children that there is no evidence that previous adoptions in Mexico by Irish couples are unsafe has been challenged in the Dáil.Frances Fitzgerald referred to the controversy in Mexico where 11 Irish couples had been questioned following the discovery of an international child-smuggling ring, after the arrest of three local women accused of buying…

• 

  About.com Adoption / Foster Care

• Hollywood Adoptions - Bonding Is Important

  27 Jan 2012 | 1:07 pm

  Katherine Heigl and Josh Kelley - Katherine Heigl and husband, Josh Kelley, have recently shared that they are ready to start the adoption process again. The couple adopted their daughter, Naleigh, about three years ago from Korea. Heigl has also shared that she struggled a bit bonding with their daughter, while her husband and Naleigh clicked right away. Through an interview with Scholastic Parent & Child magazine she acknowledged the importance of being prepared to parent an adopted child and how the process of forming attachments take time, building trust takes time. I'm so glad to…

• The Culture of Foster Care and New Book: Postcards From The Soul

  17 Jan 2012 | 5:24 pm

  Cover art for Postcards From The Soul. Copyright © 2011 Foster Care Alumni of America www.fostercarealumni.org The Foster Care Alumni of America's Community Art Project explores the culture of foster care through these very personal pieces of art. Who knew so much could be said on something the size of a postcard? I still remember when I first viewed these postcards. What a powerful impact they had on me and my viewpoint of not only the foster care system but the children and how they experience foster care....Read Full Post

• One Celebrity Closer to Adopting While the Other Further Ponders the Possibilities

  12 Jan 2012 | 9:47 am

  Queen Latifah - The actress shared during an interview with Access Hollywood that she is interested in adopting a child. The forty-one year old said that she would raise her children with morals, values, and God. She also added that she would try to be more like her mom....Read Full Post

• Huntsman Upset by Hateful Ad Featuring Adopted Daughters

  10 Jan 2012 | 8:54 pm

  It seems that a group supporting Ron Paul's bid for the Republican Presidential Candidacy has used pictures of Jon Huntsman's adopted daughters as infants in a video ad with the spoken words, "American values. Or Chinese?".  Jon Huntsman and his wife have internationally adopted two children from China and India.  According to reports, Jon Huntsman called the ad "just stupid" and invited those against his candidacy to attack him, not his children.  Ron Paul denies having any knowledge of the ad....Read Full Post

• Top 15 Topics of 2011

  9 Jan 2012 | 11:21 am

  I have been taking a bit of time to look over the top topics for 2011. These are the articles and book reviews that readers of About Adoption & Foster Care have visited the most in 2011. I wonder what 2012 will bring in regards to hot topics?...Read Full Post

• 

  [Birth Mother,] First Mother Forum

• Open or closed: Losing a child to adoption is painful

  Jane Edwards

  23 Jan 2012 | 10:01 pm

  An adoptive mother asked recently whether those of us in the Baby Scope Era would have had less pain if we had had an open adoption. (The Baby Scoop Era is the period between World War II and Roe v. Wade when a large number of single middle class white women lost their infants to adoption because of the stigmas placed on unwed mothers and their children. When my relinquished daughter was born in 1966, I thought that it would be wonderful if  I could have some continuing contact with her. I envisioned a secret child whom I would communicate with through a trusted friend.  I fancied…

• To understand ourselves, we must know where we came from

  Lorraine Dusky

  20 Jan 2012 | 12:57 pm

  Maternal Grandmother Agnes Where do we get our talents, our drive, our sense of ourselves? Last night at dinner a woman asked me if I had had a good relationship with my grandmothers, and I had to say, one died before I was born and the other was sickly most of the years I knew her. She died when I was fourteen, and because we did not live in the same town, I never knew her well. But then I found myself telling my dinner companion more about my grandmothers. The one I did know, Agnes (photo at left), was divorced from my grandfather, a rarity and a scandal back in those days--the Forties and…

• To Tell or Not to Tell (the unvarnished truth), that is the question

  Lorraine Dusky

  18 Jan 2012 | 11:10 am

   The truth--who has claim to it? When do you have to tell someone the Truth? When you know something and they don't but maybe it affect their live? Ah, the internal conundrum. A few months ago we included a notice about The Ethicist column in The New York Times in which The Ethicist (the name alone would freak me out) told a man who had fathered the girl across the street that he had no right ever to tell her he was her father, unless her mother, and her legal father (who thought he was her biological father) all agreed beforehand. The Ethicist came down on the side then of withholding…

• People say the strangest things to first mothers

  Lorraine Dusky

  15 Jan 2012 | 6:34 pm

  Lorraine As a birth mother you hear the strangest things. And just as adoptees have "trigger" words and ideas that are upsetting, here are a few situations and words that trigger us: We tell our found or reunited children what a terrible experience giving up them was, and they listen intently, seem to comprehend our pain, but later we hear them saying or writing something to effect that that adoption is such a great institution and they are "glad" they were adopted. We hear: I am so glad you worthless, lower class, fill-in-the-blank person did not raise me. I am so relieved that you didn't…

• Romney urges single woman to give up her baby--or be outcast from LDS

  Lorraine Dusky

  12 Jan 2012 | 8:54 pm

  Lorraine Mitt Romney, as a leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, pressured an unmarried woman to give up her unborn child to be adopted. That revelation comes from The Real Romney, a new book excerpted in theFebruary issueof Vanity Fair.  In the book, co-authors Michael Kranish and Scott Helman tell the story of one Peggie Hayes, who had a long-time connection with the Romney family. Hayes had joined the church with her mother, and knew the Romneys so well that as a teenager, Hayes baby-sat for the Romney boys in Boston. In her last year of high school, however, her…

• 

  clarkfcs.wordpress.com

• Ready, Set, Foster! Preparing to Bring a Foster Child Into Your Home

  karenmullins

  13 Jan 2012 | 2:06 pm

  I talk to prospective foster parents day-in and day-out who are preparing to bring a new child into their home. Inevitably, they ask me: “How can we make sure we’re ready?” Or, “How do I help my family prepare?” So in case you, too, are curious about this, here are a few of the best and most helpful things you can do to start off on the right foot with your new foster or adopted child. Educate yourself. The pre-service training you’ll complete through Clark County Family & Children Services is packed full of helpful information and advice on getting to know your new family…

• How to Become a Foster Parent

  karenmullins

  13 Dec 2011 | 12:56 pm

  For almost 25 years, I’ve worked with individuals and families in Clark County, Ohio, helping them learn how to become foster parents or how to adopt a child. Many people are really surprised to learn that the process and training to become approved to be a foster parent is pretty straightforward. How straightforward? Read on. Step 1: Inquire. Contact Family & Children Services and let us know that you are interested in adopting or becoming a foster parent. You can also call me, Karen Mullins at (937) 327-1810, Marsha Jenkins at (937) 327-1767, Ann Mann at (937) 327-1826 or Kim Dysert…

• Meet Our Team Member: Q&A Foster Care With a Social Service Worker

  clarkfcs

  30 Nov 2011 | 1:06 pm

  Meet Karen. She’s a longtime member of the Clark County Family & Children Services team. We asked her for a few minutes of time last week to give our blog readers a behind-the-scenes look at the life of a foster care worker. Describe your role with Clark County Family & Children Services: I am a Social Service worker in the Foster Care Unit along with two others. We help people through the approval and recertification process for foster care and adoption. When an individual or couple applies to do foster care or adoption, I help them navigate the paperwork and processes. How long…

• Putting Their Family Back Together Again

  clarkfcs

  28 Oct 2011 | 9:39 am

  When the drug addictions Rayanna and Daniel struggled with left them unable to care for their newborn daughter, Danica, they were heartbroken. Both Rayanna and Daniel desired to regain custody of their daughter, and so they contacted Clark County DJFS to get help in conquering their addictions. Both parents began drug treatment and quickly enrolled in the Family Dependency Treatment Court program. Rayanna and Daniel attended programs consistently and cooperated with routine drug tests, which proved that they were staying away from all drugs. Rayanna and Daniel both sought employment, and soon…

• Decide 2011!

  clarkfcs

  12 Oct 2011 | 3:56 pm

  The November elections are coming up. Be an informed voter! Check out the 2011 Ohio Issues Report.

• 

  Our Little Tongginator

• Favorite Gross Motor Toys for Developmentally Delayed Toddlers

  27 Jan 2012 | 1:02 pm

  A significant number of internationally adopted children arrive in their new homes with at least mild gross motor delays.  Many of them are late walkers, but even those that can walk often lack core strength and/or the coordination of similarly aged children.  The Tongginator did not walk until almost 19 months of age.  Much of that can be attributed to her probable premature birth, but her significant sensory issues did not help matters.  Squirt, now 18 months, began walking two days before Christmas (woo-hoo!).  We attribute her gross motor delays solely to…

• Finding Her Way

  23 Jan 2012 | 2:00 am

  Last week, the Tongginator flipped through our DVD collection before stumbling upon Lisa Ling's National Geographic documentary China's Lost Girls.  After reading the blurb on the back, she asked to watch it.  The Husband and I discussed it, finally opting to allow her to view it with us watching alongside her.  We did skip over the scenes related to female abductions, but otherwise the Tongginator sat at the kitchen table, eating her snack while the DVD played.  I asked if she wanted to talk about anything, both during and after the show, but she shook her head no.  She…

• Standing Tall, But With My Head in the Sand

  17 Jan 2012 | 2:00 am

  Last week Squirt graduated from physical therapy.  Well, she mostly graduated from physical therapy.  I don't think I've mentioned this before, but Squirt received a developmental assessment from our state's early intervention program back in July.  Every state has some form of early intervention program - in Maryland it's called the Infants and Toddlers Program, or ITP for short - and your child can receive FREE therapy - IN YOUR OWN HOME - if he or she qualifies. Squirt definitely qualified. Read more »

• Jimmy Choo Who

  13 Jan 2012 | 2:00 am

  With everything else going on around here (you know, my zombie-like state due to baby-refuses-to-sleep exhaustion), I might possibly have forgotten to mention the Tongginator's Big News. She got glasses, y'all. She's been wishing for glasses since the start of school this year, but all of the conversations centered around fashion.  You know, "so-and-so got glasses over the summer and they look super cute.  I think I need to wear glasses, too."  With comments like that, I didn't take the whole glasses thing too seriously.  Because the teachers at school don't call the…

• I'm Like the Bride of Frankenstein

  11 Jan 2012 | 2:00 am

  Yesterday afternoon, the fun began... First I felt little hands patting my back, as if to say "I want to play pat-a-cake."  Then two toddler fists grabbed fist fulls of hair and yanked.  Hard.  A diapered tushie clamored onto my neck.  A book was shoved into my face.  A certain someone shoved her most annoying sound toy in my face before literally and figuratively pushing assorted buttons. Read more »

• 

  WordPress.com News

• Chrome Users: Try the WordPress.com Extension

  Christopher Finke

  27 Jan 2012 | 1:54 pm

  Want to receive WordPress.com notifications instantly, even when you’re not on WordPress.com? Add the new WordPress.com extension for Chrome and as soon as you get a new follower or a new like on one of your posts, a notification will appear in your browser: Simply click the icon to view your latest WordPress.com notifications: Start following new blogs without visiting WordPress.com The Chrome extension also makes it easy to follow sites from your WordPress.com account by displaying a Follow button whenever you’re browsing a site that has an RSS feed. Clicking the Follow button…

• Your Stats Have a New Home

  Andy Skelton

  26 Jan 2012 | 10:46 am

  Are you addicted to checking your site stats? You are not alone. The stats dashboard has always been one of the most popular admin screens. It’s gratifying to know that people are visiting your place online. With the WordPress.com front page evolving into a one-stop shop for posting, exploring, following and reading blogs, it seemed natural to put your blog stats there, too.  Stats are becoming more and more about interacting with your readers and other bloggers. You’ll still see your summary stats and chart on your main dashboard, and the full stats page in your dashboard will…

• Reblogging is Back!

  Erica Johnson

  22 Jan 2012 | 1:27 pm

  As we mentioned last week, you can like and reblog posts directly from your reader, which displays a stream of all the updates published on all the blogs you follow from your WordPress.com account. We’ve also brought the reblog button back to the toolbar that appears at the top of the screen when you’re logged into WordPress.com. Note that you’ll only see the like and reblog options while you’re looking at individual posts. For example, you’ll see this on the left side of your toolbar while viewing http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/read-blogs: And your…

• New Theme: Newsy

  Philip Arthur Moore

  20 Jan 2012 | 12:18 pm

  It’s been an extra big week in the news ’round these parts, so much so that the launch announcement of our latest premium theme seems like an extra extra good way to headline our Friday. Newsy is a versatile business and news-friendly theme that offers up to ten different layouts, four footer columns, custom link and accent colors, and a custom site header. Brand and content-focused editorial teams will love publishing with this theme. Newsy: Home Page Designed by Themify, Newsy comes with an impressive set of Theme Options that afford you a great deal of flexibility with how you…

• Read All Your Favorite Blogs in One Place

  Erica Johnson

  19 Jan 2012 | 6:04 pm

  If you feel like it’s a chore to keep up with all your favorite blogs, you can now read posts from all the blogs you follow (even the ones that aren’t on WordPress.com!) in one convenient place on the WordPress.com home page: Your reader displays all the posts across all the blogs you follow in the order they were published, with the most recent content appearing at the top. You’ll see an excerpt of the introduction to each post, the first image in the post, and thumbnails of any other images that the post contains. You can even like and reblog WordPress.com content directly…

• 

  Adoption Critique

• A Natural Mother

  Adoption Critic

  31 Dec 2011 | 3:37 pm

  As most of my regular readers know, I refer to myself as a mother, or in relation to adoption, as being the natural mother of an adoptee (or natural mother, for short).   I reject the term “birthmother” to refer to myself, and “Birthmothers as Incubators,” explains the reason for this in more detail. But the term natural mother may not be one which is familiar to you.  Let me explain a bit about it. What is the origin of the term natural mother? Before the term birthmother was invented, the term natural mother was used throughout adoption-related literature. It was…

• Out Of The Fog: Mothers Speak About Adoption

  Adoption Critic

  8 Oct 2011 | 7:10 pm

  The fantastic video “Out Of The Fog: Mothers Speak About Adoption” by producer/director Suzie Kidnap has been released on Youtube.    I strongly recommend it.  This is a landmark video about the natural mother’s experience. Filed under: adoption Tagged: adoption, coercion, kidnapping, natural mothers, relinquishment, reproductive exploitation

• The Definition of Adoption Coercion

  Adoption Critic

  15 Sep 2011 | 1:08 pm

  Update on September 22:   A week ago I posted a proposed definition of adoption coercion.   Thank you so much for all who gave feedback.  This below is the revised definition, based on your feedback: Adoption coercion is any form of overt or covert pressure, manipulation, convincing, force, fraud, human rights violation, or withholding of services that results in a woman surrendering a baby for adoption. It includes any practice specifically designed and intended to ensure or significantly increase the odds that a mother will surrender her baby for adoption. It also includes any practice…

• Babies for Sale

  Adoption Critic

  18 Aug 2011 | 6:13 pm

  Think adoption is a non-profit service for children?   Think again.  If it was so charitable, it would be provided as a public service with no money changing hands. Instead, adoption is a multi-billion-dollar industry.  Each transaction, each time money is given to an agency in exchange for an infant, a profit has been made, a human being has been bought.  And, usually by people who would recoil at the concept of human trafficking.  But if you can dress it up in euphemisms of “adoption services” and “adoption situations,” you can get away with treating babies as…

• Adoption and Feminism

  Adoption Critic

  18 Aug 2011 | 5:25 pm

  This post was inspired by the  article  “Adoption as a Feminist Issue,”  and is expanded from a comment I posted there. The awareness of adoption as a feminist issue, as a women’s issue,  goes back decades.  Feminism as a movement is concerned about the exploitation and oppression of women. It speaks out against the violence and abuses which are perpetrated against women because they are women.   Reproductive exploitation is thus a feminist issue.  And reproductive exploitation is the basis of the adoption industry. In her landmark book Death by Adoption (Cicada…

• 

  WordPress.com News

• Chrome Users: Try the WordPress.com Extension

  Christopher Finke

  27 Jan 2012 | 1:54 pm

  Want to receive WordPress.com notifications instantly, even when you’re not on WordPress.com? Add the new WordPress.com extension for Chrome and as soon as you get a new follower or a new like on one of your posts, a notification will appear in your browser: Simply click the icon to view your latest WordPress.com notifications: Start following new blogs without visiting WordPress.com The Chrome extension also makes it easy to follow sites from your WordPress.com account by displaying a Follow button whenever you’re browsing a site that has an RSS feed. Clicking the Follow button…

• Your Stats Have a New Home

  Andy Skelton

  26 Jan 2012 | 10:46 am

  Are you addicted to checking your site stats? You are not alone. The stats dashboard has always been one of the most popular admin screens. It’s gratifying to know that people are visiting your place online. With the WordPress.com front page evolving into a one-stop shop for posting, exploring, following and reading blogs, it seemed natural to put your blog stats there, too.  Stats are becoming more and more about interacting with your readers and other bloggers. You’ll still see your summary stats and chart on your main dashboard, and the full stats page in your dashboard will…

• Reblogging is Back!

  Erica Johnson

  22 Jan 2012 | 1:27 pm

  As we mentioned last week, you can like and reblog posts directly from your reader, which displays a stream of all the updates published on all the blogs you follow from your WordPress.com account. We’ve also brought the reblog button back to the toolbar that appears at the top of the screen when you’re logged into WordPress.com. Note that you’ll only see the like and reblog options while you’re looking at individual posts. For example, you’ll see this on the left side of your toolbar while viewing http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/read-blogs: And your…

• New Theme: Newsy

  Philip Arthur Moore

  20 Jan 2012 | 12:18 pm

  It’s been an extra big week in the news ’round these parts, so much so that the launch announcement of our latest premium theme seems like an extra extra good way to headline our Friday. Newsy is a versatile business and news-friendly theme that offers up to ten different layouts, four footer columns, custom link and accent colors, and a custom site header. Brand and content-focused editorial teams will love publishing with this theme. Newsy: Home Page Designed by Themify, Newsy comes with an impressive set of Theme Options that afford you a great deal of flexibility with how you…

• Read All Your Favorite Blogs in One Place

  Erica Johnson

  19 Jan 2012 | 6:04 pm

  If you feel like it’s a chore to keep up with all your favorite blogs, you can now read posts from all the blogs you follow (even the ones that aren’t on WordPress.com!) in one convenient place on the WordPress.com home page: Your reader displays all the posts across all the blogs you follow in the order they were published, with the most recent content appearing at the top. You’ll see an excerpt of the introduction to each post, the first image in the post, and thumbnails of any other images that the post contains. You can even like and reblog WordPress.com content directly…

• 

  After December

• On the Loss of Her History, or An Ode to White Mythmaking

  21 Jan 2012 | 9:07 am

  On the Loss of Her History, or An Ode to White MythmakingWritten by friend and poet, Tel McGahaWhat I meant to sayover Christmas supper when I saidwhites should notsave little Asian babies, is this:Somewhere in thecity a woman felt a pang of painand knew herdaughter was giving birth whilewithdrawing fundsfrom Shinhan Bank so she mightvacation with herchildren in Daegu, if she were not deadfrom the inventedstones you layered in her pockets beforeleaping from theBusan Bridge, all for honorso she might comespeechless to us and stolenfrom her mouth),across the sea inthe arms of a nanny on…

• Why I search

  13 Jan 2012 | 2:57 pm

  In the past six months, I have gotten a little more serious about my birth family search.  I wouldn't call it quite active, but the door is open for me to travel to Korea to appear on the KBS show "I Miss that Person," and I have built enough of a network that I feel I could pull off a somewhat diligent search when my personal resources allow.  In honesty, I can't say I have any hope that a search would be fruitful.  Nor am I sure I'd be fully prepared for the consequences of a successful search - but when can one really be ready? The question I've fielded from a number of…

• 

  The Declassified Adoptee

• My Dashed Ivy League Dreams

  Amanda

  25 Jan 2012 | 11:00 pm

  I was talking about education with someone the other day; we were discussing our long term goals.  I am continuing my education as a Social Work major now; I have to get my BSW in Social Work as the minimum requirement in my state to hold the title of "Social Worker."  My goal is really to complete an MSW.  My friend asked me what graduate schools I was applying to.  I casually started to comment that I had looked into programs, listing the names of schools as I talked.  When I got to the name of an Ivy League school that I have a good change of getting into, my…

• Santorum on Rape and Abortion: you Might be Surprised About What I Have to Say About the Presidential Candidate's Most Recent Gum Flapping

  Amanda

  25 Jan 2012 | 1:56 pm

  I know you'd expect me to write a blog entry that rakes Santorum across the coals for his recent disclosure that he wanted to constitutionalize the personhood of a fetus and take away a woman's right to choose.  To be honest with you, I cannot decide who I am more irritated at: Santorum for his viewpoints or the liberal media for the disrespectful way they are reporting on his viewpoints.I cannot let the way many liberal media outlets have treated this issue go without comment on my blog simply because I tend to have very liberal viewpoints myself.  I am tired of the thoughtless…

• Anti-Firefighter Mentality: Simple Truths from a Firefighter's Wife

  Amanda

  23 Jan 2012 | 11:04 pm

  Us at Matt's academy graduation.I was home with my children one afternoon while my husband was at work.  We were outside playing when suddenly the quiet of the afternoon in our small town was broken with the sound of sirens on emergency vehicles sounding the alarm.  There must have been a fire or serious accident to have that many vehicles and sirens going, I thought to myself.  My toddler interrupts my thoughts; he recognizes the sounds of the sirens too.  "Is that daddy," he asks me.  "I don't know, it could be daddy," I replied.  He works part-time locally in…

• So, my Friend Wants to Adopt a Baby.....

  Amanda

  21 Jan 2012 | 11:56 pm

  On occasion, people ask me "how can I adopt?"  A lot of people hear I work with "Adoptee Rights," and not understanding the term, assume that "Adoptee Rights" means advocating for expanded rights of people who want to adopt, like advocating for bigger tax credits or other laws that favor adoption in some way (yep, even with "adoptee" in the title people make that assumption).  People who know I am adopted and also know that I had fertility problems either want to know how I finally managed to get pregnant or they want me to give them some tip on how to adopt or some reassurance…

• Made With Love

  Amanda

  19 Jan 2012 | 11:00 pm

  I was walking my house the other day thinking about all of the creative things I'd like to be able to do but am not even remotely good at but how fortunate I am to benefit from the talents of people who are good at those things.  Namely sewing.  The person who has that kind of patience is my hero.  I'm sharing some pictures with you of things other people made for me with love.  I thought today might be a nice day for a picture post (don't forget to click "read more" to see the rest of the post!)Tier curtains sewn by my mother in law.Panel curtains sewn by my mother in…

• 

  Unofficial Mom

• Not Even a Choice

  26 Jan 2012 | 10:48 am

  I'm picking the prompt, " Return to work after baby was born or stay home? How did you make your decision?"******************************After Pie was born, Husband and I spent a glorious, amazing, unbelievable two weeks in a little family cocoon. It was the greatest two weeks ever. It was also the most exhausting, confusing, nerve-wracking two weeks ever. And then it was done.When my darling girl made her big entrance, I was working full-time and Husband was working/going to school. I was the bread winner while he was pursuing his degree. So it was decided that he would stay home…

• PYHO {It Still Hurts}

  25 Jan 2012 | 9:01 am

  Don't miss the chance to Pour Your Heart Out with Shell at Things I Can't SayInfertility. It sucks. It's a dull ache that never goes away. It feels almost like a physical part of my body. Like, there's my left arm, left shoulder, infertility, right shoulder, right arm. Some days I don't really notice it. Some days (when it rains, heh) it acts up a little and I feel a twinge. Other days, and thankfully they aren't very often, a pain will rip through me with such surprising force that it takes my breath away.There's an adoption reading challenge that I was thinking about participating in.

• That kid cracks me up

  23 Jan 2012 | 9:25 am

  Recently we've been teaching Pie about shaking hands and introducing yourself. Because why wouldn't you with a 2 year old? It always cracks me up because it seems so out of place to be shaking with a kid, but this weekend she pushed it over the edge into straight up hilarious.{Pie comes over to me and sticks out her hand}Me: {shaking} Hi, my name is Mama. What's your name?Pie: MeMe: Me who?Pie: {pauses thinking} meee-mo!I could not stop laughing. And it almost brings me to tears every time I think of it. Her first knock knock joke! And of course it would be about Nemo, her all time favorite…

• I cannot believe...

  20 Jan 2012 | 5:58 am

  ...she was ever this tiny (a few more gems from my camera dump)

• Red Rover, Red Rover...

  19 Jan 2012 | 5:44 am

  I'm picking the prompt, "List the names of five dogs from your lifetime.  Write about why one sparks a stronger memory to you than the others."******************************I have a confession to make. My family is weird about animals. There I said it. We are not dog people, or cat people. We are "please don't sniff me there" people.We never had pets, don't particularly get what all the fuss is about, and several of us are allergic. The only pets I've ever had are fish, and given my allergies, the same will be true for Pie. Though her fish are pretty cool.But I have had several dogs…

• 

  Real Daughter

• I went to the chapel

  9 Jan 2012 | 12:52 am

  I hope everyone had a great holiday. And yes, I say "holiday", because I have friends of different faiths.  Mine was wonderful, only one big family blowup, I'll discuss that in another post. Of course, it had to do with adoption.  Dan and I were remarried Saturday morning, as planned, on what would have been the 28th anniversary of our original wedding date. Very low key, quite odd, much like the 2 of us.  We decided we wanted it to be just the 2 of us. The JP told us it would be no problem to "grab 2 witnesses from next door". Next door is an alley, which is next to amazing…

• Perfect

  23 Dec 2011 | 10:27 pm

  To all of my friends in adoptoblog world & to those in that world who have crossed over into my real life world, here is a song for all of us. I love you guys, and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas, Festivus, Solstice, Kwanza and Hannukah. Or however the heck you spell it.

• iAdoptee: Please read this

  8 Dec 2011 | 9:10 pm

  iAdoptee: Please read this: The following words were written by a fellow adult adoptee and friend. These words are incredibly important. And so I am sharing this deep a...This. Is. Amazing.

• NOT born this way

  6 Dec 2011 | 11:44 pm

  Another birthday. This year's was much different. I didn't have the usual dread building up for weeks before. I didn't crawl under the blankets like I usually do.  Sending that letter to my first Mother and receiving that reply freed something in me. It freed the longing, the wondering and any hope I had. As  soul crushing as it was, I am in a much better place. I will always hear my friend Chris's words- "It was the best gift you have ever given yourself." And she's right, that Gypsy!  I woke up extremely early...not sure what THAT was about- it certainly wasn't because I…

• What's the deal with funerals?

  3 Dec 2011 | 1:01 am

  Seriously. I hate them. And every time I make my way through the line, give my condolences and stop by the casket I think the same thing- "Oh, sweet Jesus, why did I look?" And then I usually say to Dan, "If you ever do that to me, I will come back to haunt you. I will hide your tools, put green food coloring in your shampoo and other poltergeist-y things to get you back."  No one needs to see a dead body. It's just disturbing. I want to remember my friends alive and looking, well, looking alive. I would never want anyone to see me dead. Why do corpse stylists insist on putting…

• 

  NYC Single Mom

• Introducing Gud Hair and Body Care Line From Burt’s Bees

  NYCSingleMom

  28 Jan 2012 | 4:39 am

  Recently, Burt’s Bees launched a new collection of hair and body products called Gud (pronounced “good”.) There is something about the new Gud line that really pops for me, from... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS” ASSEMBLE ON TWITTER – Fans Q&A With the Cast

  NYCSingleMom

  27 Jan 2012 | 9:18 pm

   MARVEL STUDIOS SPONSORS GLOBAL TWITTER CHAT WITH DIRECTOR AND CAST FOR FANS AROUND THE WORLD. PARTICIPANTS GET TEASE OF “MARVEL’S THE AVENGERS”, 30-SECOND SUPER BOWL SPOT AND CHANCE TO WIN PRIZES... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• Girls Valentine’s Day Graphic Tees

  NYCSingleMom

  27 Jan 2012 | 5:00 am

  Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. Along with passing out Valentine’s Day cards, girls love their graphic tees to celebrated the day. NYC Single Mom has pulled together some cute... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• Visiting the American Museum of Natural History

  NYCSingleMom

  26 Jan 2012 | 5:00 am

  The American Museum of Natural History on the Upper West Side is by far our favorite museum. What’s not to love, from the moment you walk into the Theodore Roosevelt Rotunda  housing... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• Gandhi in the Snow – Wordless Wednesday LINKY

  NYCSingleMom

  24 Jan 2012 | 6:01 pm

  I happened upon this statue of Gandhi during the snowstorm that hit New York on Saturday. [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• 

  One Thankful Mom

• A New Song

  OneThankfulMom

  26 Jan 2012 | 11:17 am

  This evening I fly to Seattle for the Refresh Conference.  Through the process of writing my Tell it Well series, I’ve been struck anew with all that Jesus has done in my heart and life.  It is incredible that I am an adoptive mom and that I actually get to write and speak about this [...]

• Honeybee’s First Email

  OneThankfulMom

  25 Jan 2012 | 9:00 am

  Honeybee got her very own email address yesterday, and this is what I found in my inbox this morning. Hi mom I love you. You are wonderful you are a grate mom you are funny and weird but I still love you thank you for being my mom. This just might be one of the sweetest things she has ever said. [...]

• Tell it Well, Part 5: Bitter

  OneThankfulMom

  24 Jan 2012 | 9:00 am

  Sometimes you have to ask yourself, “If I could only tell one more story, what would it be?”  Tell it Well is my answer. Part 1: Alone | Part 2: Sought | Part 3: Found | Part 4: Redeemed | Part 5: Bitter I will never forget the night I checked my email and saw the subject line, “Is this for real? [...]

• Grandparents

  OneThankfulMom

  23 Jan 2012 | 6:04 pm

  Part 5 of Tell it Well is coming tomorrow morning.  In the meantime, I want to share this sweet photo of Little Man with Russ’ dad. Russ, Isaiah, and the four younger girls drove to Seattle for our niece’s wedding Saturday. Because of the snow we’ve been having in the northwest, we weren’t able to take our [...]

• Sunday Visit: Mark Schultz and His Adoption Story

  OneThankfulMom

  22 Jan 2012 | 9:07 am

  I stumbled upon a link to a music video of the song “Everything to Me” by Mark Schultz.  After watching it, I clicked on  the link to the story behind the song. It is powerful to hear him talk about his birthmother and see the emotion on his face.  His face and voice speak to me [...]

• 

  Rage Against the Minivan

• putting myself to bed (the night owl’s lament)

  27 Jan 2012 | 11:20 am

  I have always been a late-night kind of person.  My mother was, too.  I remember growing up, watching my mom get a burst of energy right around the time we were all going to bed.  It seemed like this was the time when she always got absorbed in a project.  It wasn’t unusual for us to hear the sewing machine start to hum at 1am.  It’s still not unusual to get a phone call from her at midnight.  And she’s three hours ahead living in Florida. It’s hard to say if it’s nature or nurture, but I’ve always been the same way.  As a child, I loved laying…

• the slacker mom’s guide to homemade photo cards for valentine’s day

  25 Jan 2012 | 12:48 pm

  I’m not really a “handmade card” kind of mom.  I think it’s lovely that other moms are, but at this stage in our family there is usually just not enough time in the day for me to indulge in my creative side . . . beyond staring at the things other people are doing on Pinterest.  With Valentine’s Day approaching, though, I did decide to make some homemade cards, inspired in part by cards like this one.  But, if I’m to be totally honest, it was also inspired by my desire to not have to supervise four kids signing their name to 20+ cards.  We are barely recovered…

• goodbye to the double stroller

  24 Jan 2012 | 12:27 am

  I sold my double stroller on Craig’s List over the weekend. It’s hard to explain the freedom I feel about this particular milestone.  It’s been a long time coming – I’ve kept it around for the occasion big outing but finally I decided it was time for us to part ways.  I’ve been schlepping a double stroller around for six years now –six years of pulling that monster in and out of my trunk.  Six years of not fitting through doorways . . . of strategizing stairwells . . . of retrieving objects thrown or dropped from the children, of forcing the two walking children…

• that’s what SHE said: diversity, gray hairs, moms against moms, oppression olympics, political hypocrisy, sexist LEGO’s, and the pursuit of happiness

  22 Jan 2012 | 5:01 pm

  {click on the title to read the whole post} On the wide world and why it matters | Chookooloonks Since returning home from the funeral, I've been thinking about how much immigration and emigration are such a huge part of my personal story.  If my great-grandfather hadn't immigrated to Trinidad from China and met his Asian/Amerindian wife, my paternal grandmother wouldn't have been born.  My paternal grandfather's story is similar, with the immigration of his Barbadian family to Trinidad.  On my mother's side, her people hail from countries including India and Martinique, before…

• parenting a toddler: the cycle of despair

  20 Jan 2012 | 1:36 am

  This is how I found Karis's room, not ten minutes after spending an hour in there putting things away. If it is ever discovered that I've thrown my body in front of a moving vehicle in a psychotic rage, this is why, people. THIS IS WHY.

• 

  Adopt Without Debt

• Grace Cafe Radio Interview

  jgumm

  15 Jan 2012 | 2:28 pm

  Monday I’ll be live on the Grace Cafe Radio show to talk about adoption. Join Marsha Harwood & Julie Hunsucker at Grace Café ~ Sharing Life, Hope and a Cup of Coffee; a place for women to grow in grace together, every Monday @ 11:00 Eastern Time on CWA Radio. Along with me will be Leslie Gallimore who served as the adoption specialist on the staff of the Pregnancy Resource Center of Charlotte for 1 years.  As an adoption specialist, she gave education and support to women who were considering placing their babies for adoption. If you catch it live you can call in and chat with the…

• The Power of a Dollar

  jgumm

  4 Jan 2012 | 12:25 pm

  Beth Cupitt started Give1 Save1 as a platform to help fundraise for families adopting from Africa. It’s really pretty simple – and that is the beauty of the idea. Every Monday a different adoptive family is featured on Give1Save1.com and readers are asked to give $1 – just $1 and then spread the word virally. Since August the site has helped 16 families and at least 1 charity, raising nearly $22,000. The power of a dollar is pretty amazing! If you’re interested in becoming a featured family, here’s the info to contact Beth.

• Taking advantage of Christmas as an Amazon affiliate

  jgumm

  1 Dec 2011 | 12:53 am

  When I got my mail the day before Thanksgiving and saw that I had a Christmas card I thought 2 things: “Already, REALLY people?” and “Oh no, I better get going on our Christmas cards!” But I loved what I saw when I opened it up and I will totally forgive Stacy Kennedy for sending her cards BEFORE Thanksgiving because it is pure brillance. Several months ago Stacy set up an Amazon Affiliates link and has faithfully been spreading the word. Every time someone enters Amazon via their link and buys something, a percentage goes to the Kennedy’s and they put it…

• Delicate Fortress Creations

  jgumm

  14 Nov 2011 | 2:20 am

  I just learned about another new fundraising opportunity for adoptive families. Delicate Fortress Creations products are not only gorgeous but are made by artisans all over the world. Working with 25 different organizations that fight human trafficking, illiteracy, poverty, at-risk children and modern slavery, DFC brings together a gorgeous selection of items. And adoptive family recently made over $700 during their week long fundraiser. Some of these types of companies can have kind of high prices but I was pleasantly surprised by the affordability of a lot of the items they had. Gives you…

• Seasonal earnings

  jgumm

  11 Nov 2011 | 2:18 am

  Want some quick cash and have some free time? Now is the perfect time to pick up a seasonal job. Many companies are hiring workers right now to work through the New Year. Retail shops, UPS, Amazon warehouses – they all need extra workers right now. Obviously not everyone has time to pick up an extra job but if you can manage a busier schedule for a couple of months you may be able to save $1,000 or more for your adoption fund.

• 

  Four Plus More

• What I’m really thinking about parenting…

  juliegumm

  23 Jan 2012 | 7:00 am

  The other day a friend on Facebook posted a link to this amazing article “Don’t Carpe Diem”. I swear it’s like the writer is inside my head. Every time someone looks at my children and says “It goes by so fast. Make every moment count,” I say “I know” and nod my head sweetly. What I really want to say is “Promise? Because this is HARD! And sometimes it feels like there’s no end in site.” But, of course, I don’t. And then I feel guilty for thinking that. Loved this part of the article… “My point is this. I used…

• Vote on Africa decal design

  juliegumm

  19 Jan 2012 | 3:03 pm

  I’m working on a new window decal that is just Africa (vs. a specific country). I know there’s a lot of people who have a heart for that nation without direct ties to one specific country. But I can’t decide – script font (#1 – left) or block font (#2 – right). They’ll be a metallic silver where you see grey – cutout for window where you see black. What do you think? Vote below. View This Poll  

• Mornings Suck

  juliegumm

  19 Jan 2012 | 8:23 am

  I hate mornings. I always have. I am SO not morning person, Of course this tidbit managed to completely allude my husband during our 4 years of dating. SURPRISE. In an ideal world I would wake up, have coffee, check email and shower before anyone spoke to me. Of course that doesn’t really work when you have 4 kids. Three of whom are morning people, along with their dad. UGH! Lately I’ve grown weary of the morning chaos and noise. I feel like I’m constantly telling someone to get back on task or to stop annoying their sibling. It puts me in a bad mood and doesn’t help…

• Videos that inspire tears

  juliegumm

  18 Jan 2012 | 7:00 am

  I’ve been seeing the link to this video making the rounds on Facebook but hadn’t watched it til the other day. Grab Kleenex first and make sure you won’t embarrass yourself when you cry. This is the power of a forever family – no matter your age.

• Grace Cafe Radio Interview

  juliegumm

  15 Jan 2012 | 2:27 pm

  Monday I’ll be live on the Grace Cafe Radio show to talk about adoption. Join Marsha Harwood & Julie Hunsucker at Grace Café ~ Sharing Life, Hope and a Cup of Coffee; a place for women to grow in grace together, every Monday @ 11:00 Eastern Time on CWA Radio. Along with me will be Leslie Gallimore who served as the adoption specialist on the staff of the Pregnancy Resource Center of Charlotte for 1 years.  As an adoption specialist, she gave education and support to women who were considering placing their babies for adoption. If you catch it live you can call in and chat with the…

• 

  Lost Daughters

• What adoption cost me

  Author Trace A. DeMeyer

  17 Jan 2012 | 12:23 pm

  By Trace A. DeMeyer, author of One Small Sacrifice: A MemoirSomeone asked me recently what had adoption cost me personally.What a loaded question, I shot back in my email. I said I needed to think about it.Obviously I didn't ask to be adopted!This situation was thrust on me by a damaged 22-year-old small-town Wisconsin girl who loved Chicago night-clubbing and partying too much. She didn't want me after my 28-year-old father (also a big drinker) kicked her out. He moved back to his Illinois farm-town and found a new wife. She went to an unwed mothers home in Minnesota and signed me away.If my…

• New Year Means New Beginnings

  Jenn

  3 Jan 2012 | 2:34 pm

  It's no secret that 2011 was an interesting year for me.  I reached several milestones in my life both as a person and as an adoptee.  For starters, I graduated college.  With a masters.  That's a pretty big deal for me seeing as my parents never went to college.  Ironically enough my first parents had more of an education that either of my adoptive parents.  So it was a pretty big deal for me to graduate.  After graduating, I managed to find a job a few months later.  Landing my first big job was another major milestone for me.  I'm not longer the…

• The Holiday "Show"

  Assembling Self

  9 Dec 2011 | 1:25 pm

  Since I have no idea who or where my biological family is I will always have in the back of mind many thoughts and questions especially at certain times of the year like Christmas.  What religion or faith, traditions, dishes and recipes have been passed down, and where do they gather and visit?  Growing up I always related my adoption and family rejection situations to "The Little Match Girl", or "Land of the Misfit Toys" in Rudolph, my favorite was "Frosty The Snowman" 'cause the little girl's name was Karen and she got to escape and travel away from her family.My adoptive family…

• Honesty

  Jenn

  3 Dec 2011 | 8:10 am

  Well folks, reunion number two has failed.  No more contact, save email.  And maybe a phone call now and then.  All because I sent a "Hope you're having a good day!" text message.  And the wrong person saw it and started asking questions.  Happy Holidays!There are so many reasons why reunions can fail.  But when it comes down to my failed reunions at this point, the big reason is honesty.  Honesty is so important in life.  It's where we get our integrity.  It's how we are open about who we are.  Its the basic part of a relationship.  You…

• Interview with Second-Chance Mother author Denise Roessle

  Author Trace A. DeMeyer

  29 Nov 2011 | 10:53 am

  Trace blogs here:www.splitfeathers.blogspot.comWhen I first starting writing about being adopted, I went searching for a natural mother's voice, a blog by someone who might explain why my own mother gave me up. I soon found Denise's blog, http://write-o-holic.blogspot.com/.  I am not endorsing her new book since I have not read it but I do endorse her blog since I've read it over 5 years. I call Denise a pioneer in thinking outside the adoption myth.In many ways, I think my own natural mother Helen would have appreciated Denise's blog, for the simple reason, adoptees and mothers are real…

• 

  One Inch of Grace

• We did it our way

  shannon2818

  26 Jan 2012 | 5:00 pm

  To continue my impromptu series on decision making … As I’ve mentioned before, I seem to have developed an unfortunate knack for making controversial decisions. I’ve made these decisions (including the adoption) because I believed it was truly the right thing to do. And, that brings me to the topic of what is right and wrong. I do believe in a few absolute truths, but very few of them. In my opinion, most things are simply a matter of taste or preference. Although some choices may not appeal to everyone, and many may even see them as improper, it is ultimately up to the…

• Life books

  shannon2818

  23 Jan 2012 | 9:37 pm

  I read with BE and BC nearly every night before bed and they both cycle through their favorite books. Sometimes they become fascinated with a particular book and we have to read this book everyday – sometimes for weeks. Lately, BE has been requesting to read her Life Book. BE and BC both have Life Books that they received from their foster care/adoption agency. Their foster family was thoughtful enough to fill out parts of them and to even include photos. And, I’ve tried to keep them current over the past few years. BE loves to read about what she was like when she first came into…

• Everything in moderation

  shannon2818

  19 Jan 2012 | 8:34 pm

  I spent my childhood and young adult years trying to please everyone. I craved the approval of others. It wasn’t until I was a senior in college that I made a decision that was based solely on my own beliefs about what was right. It wasn’t a popular decision, and many people didn’t understand it, but I went ahead anyway. Since then, I’ve made a number of decisions based on my own convictions, and somehow those convictions continued to be controversial with acquaintances and with those closest to me. Of course, this applies to the adoption as well. Everything turned out…

• A gift for an aspiring chef

  shannon2818

  14 Jan 2012 | 9:03 pm

  BC loves to help in the kitchen, so I started calling him my sous chef. Grandma G got wind of this, and since she gives such great gifts, she created the perfect Christmas present for him.  She made the apron below, complete with the words “sous chef” and “turtle” (since he’s convinced he’s a turtle).  Now, whenever BC helps in the kitchen, he has to wear his “sous chef.” Thanks, Grandma G!

• Mysterious toys

  shannon2818

  8 Jan 2012 | 12:00 pm

  For the last couple of years, J and I have gone through the kids’ toys after Christmas and separated some for donation. This time, J accidentally put something valuable in the donation bag, and thankfully, I rescued it in time. It was a doll that BE brought with her from her foster family’s home. I have no idea who gave it to her and neither does Aunt S. BE isn’t big on dolls, but I really wanted to save it because it is one of the few toys that she still has from before she knew us. I actually think this doll is very strange. Just take a look at it: Why does she have animal…

• 

  SocialWrkr24/7 : Eyes Opened Wider

• Spreading the News

  SW247

  7 Jan 2012 | 8:59 pm

  I'm sorry that you all are the last to know! But I just was released from the hospital last night and have been conserving my energy since I don't have much of it yet. But I did want you all to be able to celebrate the joyous news that I was given just five days ago! The surgery was a complete success in more ways than one. They removed my omentum and multiple lymph nodes plus did biopsies of many areas inside my abdomen and NO CANCER WAS FOUND! And yesterday we received the final confirmation from the second set of pathology reports done on all the tissue samples - No Chemo will be…

• Update: Schedule change

  SW247

  28 Dec 2011 | 9:58 pm

  My surgery has been pushed back a week. It will be January 3rd. I am feeling pretty good overall, physically I am pretty much back to normal from my first operation. Emotionally, I am feeling peaceful and hopeful - the lasting effects of a holiday spent with my family. Lots of good times and great food! Thank you to everyone who has sent love, support, and prayers my way. I will update again just prior to surgery and then at some point afterwards so that you are all aware of what is going on over here. I can't say enough how much you all mean to me!

• Update - Good News!

  SW247

  3 Dec 2011 | 4:04 pm

  Although I make no promises about keeping this blog updated, I will try. I know that there are many of you out there who want to offer up support and prayers - and I'm not in any position to refuse them! So, I wanted to let you all know of the good news I recieved at my most recent doctor's appointment yesterday. This appointment was a Second Opinion appointment - I've met with Dr. R one other time and he wanted more tests before discussing treatment options. Many prayers and deep breaths have been taken for the past few weeks. But I still went into this appointment completely unsure of what…

• Unexpected Changes

  SW247

  21 Nov 2011 | 4:54 pm

  You'd think, given my line of work, I'd be more aware of how life can change on a dime. But nothing has prepared me for how my life changed exactly one week ago. Last Sunday I went to the local ER with stomach pains. One emergency surgery and some lab results later - I am diagnosed with cancer. I am doing okay. Healing nicely from surgery, but preparing to probably need another one. Nervous about what to expect, but having great faith that it will turn out fine. I am surrounded by love and support from far and wide. Its weird to be "sick" when I don't feel sick at all. I want to pretend…

• ABIP 2011 - Tortoise Tales!

  SW247

  18 Nov 2011 | 11:24 pm

  Heather from Production, Not Reproduction, did it again folks. Adoption Blogger Interview Project 2011! Basically, anyone who is connected to adoption and blogs about it, could sign up to be apart of the interview project.  Once everyone is signed up, they are randomly paired with another blogger. I had the privileged to be paired up with Tortoise Mom from Tortoise Tales. We were given about a week to familiarize ourselves with each other's blogs and then write out thoughtful questions for the interview. Toroise Mom lives in Australia and is planning to…

• 

  Transracialeyes

• The oppression of adoption

  Daniel Ibn Zayd

  22 Jan 2012 | 4:41 pm

  I am currently working with a group locally that does research for returning adoptees to Lebanon, similar to such organizations in other source countries. We are going through my collected bogus paperwork, bogus passport, and bogus references and one by one crossing out the information contained in them as being useful or not (mostly not). We are making full connection inquiries, meaning, everyone within the process is being tracked down for any kind of information they might have (or not; mostly not). For the million times I’ve gone through this on my own, it is somehow exponentially…

• Do adult adoptees consider extended family members “family”?

  girl4708

  25 Dec 2011 | 2:04 am

  Several months ago I was at a wedding and met some extended family for the first time and some I haven’t seen for many many years. I felt really silly referring to them as my “aunt” or “second cousin” or even “brother”. I mean, aren’t those titles really for the adopted child, to acclimate them into their adoptive family. For a child’s benefit? And also the adoptive parents’ when the child is young? As adults, I think we all know: I am adopted. They aren’t really my “family”. They are people who raised me and who I…

• Am I the only one?

  girl4708

  3 Dec 2011 | 1:28 am

  Speaking with another adoptee yesterday, half African American, half Korean, she noted how I was the only adoptee she’d ever spoken with who didn’t want to be white growing up. While it is true I felt white and was always zapped into place when the rest of the world reminded me that I was not, I never did want to be white.  I would sometimes look in the mirror and think that I did not look less than them.  Sometimes I would even think I looked beautiful.  And what I really wanted was for MY race to be as strong and proudly identified as the other minorities who lived near me. …

• The land of should-have-been and is

  girl4708

  23 Nov 2011 | 7:58 am

  Something Daniel said recently, as a comment on the post, “How white are you?”  made me think: And then, sometimes, it is just really, really devastatingly difficult to live on this razor’s edge. Once again, leave it to Daniel to leave me haunted with his sublime and beautiful way of looking at our situation.  I am dumbstruck. Another razor’s edge for me is right-livelihood as an adoptee means envisioning a future without relinquishment, which is disturbingly informed by my imagined should-have-been life, which interferes with my desire to be/live in the present. How do…

• Is it okay to not get U.S. citizenship for an internationally adopted child?

  Daniel Ibn Zayd

  21 Nov 2011 | 8:32 am

  I came upon your website today and found several thoughtful comments. Perhaps this is the place to pose my question. Is it ever okay to not get U.S. citizenship for an internationally adopted child? I have read the horror stories of deportation and know that no one seems to question the necessity of getting U.S. citizenship. In fact adoptive parents are urged to make sure this is done before the child reaches adulthood. My child was adopted at age ten and doesn’t like a lot of things about American culture. He has stated he does not want to be a citizen of the U.S., yet he does not see…

• 

  Unsigned Masterpiece

• Finding Your Family

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  25 Jan 2012 | 2:27 pm

  Family issues are once again keeping me from posting as regularly  as I had hoped. Someone asked recently how you would go about tracing your family if you suspected that you were adopted. This link to the New York Times may provide some answers:  Finding Your Family You might also try Late Discovery Adoptees Peace UM Filed under: adoptees, Adoption Tagged: adoptees, adoption, DNA Testing, family, Late Discovery Adoptees

• Adoption and Addiction

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  11 Jan 2012 | 1:03 pm

  Next Post Unsigned Masterpiece January 20, 2012 In the meantime Here are some interesting excerpts from a lecture on Adoption and Addiction The link to the complete lecture is at the end of the video. Adoption and Addiction Filed under: adoptees, Adoption, Family Tagged: addiction, adoptees, adoption, PTSD

• Midnight in Paris, Ernest Hemingway, F. Scott Fitzgerald (and adoption)

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  19 Dec 2011 | 11:01 pm

  I feel like I am living in Paris in the twenties lately.   I was able to score one of the first available rental copies of Woody Allen’s film, *Midnight in Paris.  I watched it about five times before I had to give it back.  Last time I saw the movie, I was in Paris.  My daughter, husband and I went to see it the night before we left for London and she left to come back to Canada.  It was amazing to watch it and then walk out of the cinema and be on the Blvd. Beaumarchais.   It’s a great movie.  It brings back happy memories.  If you haven’t seen it, I highly…

• Am Writing

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  8 Dec 2011 | 3:10 am

  Next Unsigned Masterpiece Post  December 20th UM Highlights – Nine Favourite Posts #amwriting Filed under: Creative Writing Tagged: writing

• Gee, you look familiar

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  7 Dec 2011 | 2:38 pm

  Had to share the link to this interesting article. Who needs DNA. Now a photograph will be enough to tell you who you are related to. Surprise, we’re related.   The Daily Mail on line. Filed under: adoptees, Adoption Tagged: adoptees, adoption, Adoption reunion

• 

  Together for Adoption

• Upcoming Together for Adoption Events

  Dan Cruver

  26 Jan 2012 | 6:59 am

  To learn more about the unique conferences and events that Together for Adoption is offering in 2012, visit our new event pages:National Conference 2012 (September 14-15, Atlanta)Conference for Pastors at Southern Seminary (October 4-5)Regional Events

• Registration for Summit VIII is Now Open!

  Dan Cruver

  25 Jan 2012 | 8:02 am

  Registration is now open for Summit!JOIN… organization leaders, grassroots advocates, pastors, adoptive families, and ministry entrepreneurs that share your passion.ENCOUNTER… the gathering hub of orphan ministry partnership, networking and inspiration for service.BUILD… knowledge, resources and practical skills via more than 80 workshops and unforgettable speakers and music.Plenary Session Include… Rick and Kay Warren, Francis Chan, Crawford Loritts, Jedd Medefind, Ryan Bomberger, live interviews by Dennis Rainey, music by Geoff Moore and Steven Curtis Chapman.Learn…

• Refresh Conference – January 27-28

  Dan Cruver

  25 Jan 2012 | 7:51 am

  If you live in the Pacific Northwest, are interested in foster care and adoption and are free this weekend, let me encourage you to consider attending The Refresh Conference in Redmond, Washington. The Refresh Conference is a conference to support foster and adoptive parents through inspiring speakers, workshops, and worship. Registration is only $35 per person or $50 per couple.Learn more about The Refresh Conference.

• Safe Families

  Jason Cornwell

  23 Jan 2012 | 3:38 pm

  Last week, while attending a meeting for the Carolina Christian Alliance For Orphans, I was fortunate to meet Traci Weldie. Traci works with Safe Families for Children, a movement of biblical compassion and hospitality. Safe Families‘ aim is to mobilize a movement of Christians who open their homes to families suffering the anguish of poverty and crisis. Their passion is to connect these families with churches that are wiling to be a “spiritual extended family” to those who lack that kind of support.Traci works with families that are going through critical and unmanageable…

• Our National Conference is Sept. 14-15 in Atlanta, Georgia

  Dan Cruver

  19 Jan 2012 | 10:34 am

  We are very pleased to announce that Cross Pointe Church (Atlanta, Georgia) is hosting our 2012 Together for Adoption National Conference on September 14-15. Keynote speakers include Tony Merida and Noel Piper. Mark your calendars and stay tuned for details!

• 

  Lori Holden's feed

• Jennifer Lauck on how her birth mother's sexual history affected her own

  Lori Holden, Open Adoption Examiner

  25 Jan 2012 | 10:06 am

  Last week, adult adoptees, first parents, adoptive parents and other interested people discussed the book Found: a Memoir by Jennifer Lauck. Participants on this book tour asked questions of each other, and also submitted questions to the author...

• Found Book Tour Day 3

  Lori Holden, Open Adoption Examiner

  15 Jan 2012 | 3:07 pm

  Whether you signed up for this book tour in the Fall or if you are merely here to read what book tourists have to say, welcome to the third Open Adoption Examiner book tour! It's the tour that...

• Found Book Tour Day 2

  Lori Holden, Open Adoption Examiner

  14 Jan 2012 | 4:11 pm

  Whether you signed up for this book tour in the Fall or if you are merely here to read what book tourists have to say, welcome to the third Open Adoption Examiner book tour! It's the tour that...

• Found Book Tour Day 1

  Lori Holden, Open Adoption Examiner

  10 Jan 2012 | 1:21 pm

  Whether you signed up for this book tour in the Fall or if you are merely here to read what book tourists have to say, welcome to the third Open Adoption Examiner book tour! It's the tour that...

• Open Adoption Roundtable: A holiday memory

  Lori Holden, Open Adoption Examiner

  14 Dec 2011 | 5:26 pm

  The Open Adoption Roundtable is convening for the 32nd time. For this round, Open Adoption Bloggers are sharing a holiday memory that involves open adoption.Heather, the hostess of the Open Adoption Roundtable, says, "This time we are going...

• 

  You're My Second Mama, Aren't You

• Dalmatian Puppies and Other Secrets

  Jane

  20 Jan 2012 | 7:03 pm

  The issue of secrecy is not a part of many international adoptions.  Because our Asian children didn’t look anything like my husband and me, we could not have kept this a secret, even if we had wanted to.  As soon as we put them in the stroller and went anywhere, at least half-dozen people would stop us and asked us to share our story.  I was always very happy to do this, so my children heard about their adoption more times than any of us could count. All three of my children came from Korea when they were five months old.  When a child doesn’t look like his parents, he has…

• The Veil of Secrecy

  Jane

  14 Jan 2012 | 5:55 pm

  I want to continue talking about secrecy as it relates to adoption by discussing one of my favorite books, Being Adopted, the lifelong Search for Self, written by David M. Brodzinsky, Marshall D. Schechter, and Robin Marantz Henig.  I’ve talked about this book many times, and an overview is listed on my resource page. The three authors deal with adoption related issues, exploring the experience of adoption and its lifelong effects.  They support my hypothesis that secrets do far more harm than good — and often times can’t be kept in the long run.  Almost inevitably, there is…

• Why Don’t I Have An Older Sister?

  Jane

  12 Jan 2012 | 9:46 pm

  I’ve had the experience now of knowing several adult adoptees.  I’m discovering that adult adoptees are as interested in getting to know any other sibling they might have, as they are in finding their birth parents. This makes a lot of sense if you think about it.  It’s not talked about a great deal, but a person’s siblings have as much — if not more impact — on their lives than even their parents.  I first saw this concept discussed in a wonderful book called, Siblings without Rivalry, by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.  The authors’ goal being to demonstrate…

• The Past is Never Done

  Jane

  5 Jan 2012 | 10:06 pm

  The Past is Never Done.  It’s Not Even Past. – William Faulkner Happy New Year readers, I hope you’re as excited about 2012, as I am! I’m going to begin the New Year by doing a series about “secrets” as it relates to adoption and family life in general.  I’m always amazed at how many secrets every family has and how destructive they can be when they are uncovered.  Some secrets are very benign of course, but some are not; and when not handled appropriately, these secrets have the power to do a great deal of damage. There has been a wonderful and…

• Happy Holidays!

  Jane

  15 Dec 2011 | 11:43 pm

  Dear Readers, Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.   Enjoy your time and we will continue or journey in the New Year. Christmas is not as much about opening our presents as opening our hearts. —Janice Maeditere

• 

  Cheese Curds and Kimchi-Our international adoption story

• Friday Flotsam: 1.27.2012---Passage of time

  27 Jan 2012 | 5:28 pm

  January 25, 1992. Mom woke me gently, shaking me on the shoulder. She whispered, "Wake up. Today's your wedding day." Could that day really have been 20 years ago? It's quite hard to believe. The passage of time. It is deceivingly slow, creeping by incrementally. But it's always moving. And before you know it, your wedding day has receded into the "long time ago" category. I wish I could say I remember every minute of that lovely day. But I only recollect bits and pieces. Likely because I was sick as a dog with walking pneumonia and loaded up on gallons of cough syrup and medication. January…

• Sweet Naleigh Moon

  19 Jan 2012 | 4:29 pm

  Sniff. Love a good adoption story! And the song is pretty sweet too. <p><br>http://youtu.be/7XnnjwIwxes</p> Josh Kelley performs Naleigh Moon

• Sick day

  17 Jan 2012 | 2:51 pm

  Ick. We've all got the ick.  And it won't go away. Today Little Man and I are home together on a sick day. We've been fighting the ick around here since Thanksgiving. At that time, he'd had congestion and a nasty cough for weeks. After the third visit to the doctor they finally treated him for a sinus infection. Antibiotics seemed to clear things up until just before Christmas. On Christmas Eve we went to urgent care. Congestion was back. So was the fever and now he was messing with his ears. Double ear infection. Again, antibiotics. Things improved right away and stayed that way, until…

• Parenting inspiration

  11 Jan 2012 | 9:00 am

  I won't lie. I find parenthood difficult. It's the hardest I've ever done in my life. (Next to being married. That's darn hard too.) Don't get me wrong. I'm deliriously happy that our family is finally together. And that boy makes my heart smile. And his belly laugh positively melts me. I never imagined that once LM came home it would be all baby-infused bliss (you know I'm much more of a realist than that!). But it's no walk in the park either. How come the things that can make you happiest aren't always rainbows and butterflies and cotton candy and bubbles and hand-blended margaritas? OK,…

• Korean picture book with English translations

  9 Jan 2012 | 9:39 am

  {image credit} Just found these Korean picture book printables at Koko Living. You can print the pages and if you can read Hangul, learn the words for the pictures.  However, for those not up to speed in Hangul, the lovely ladies at Koko Living have also converted the words to phonetic English translations! We are going to print these out and laminate them. Now we can learn some of the Korean words right along with Little Man. Thanks, Koko Living!

• 

  I'm A Foster.com. Life before, during, and after foster care.

• What it's like going into foster care

  26 Jan 2012 | 11:39 pm

   Hopefully I can give you some insight about what it is like going into foster care and the sort of mindset going in. As you can imagine going into foster care I had no idea what to think or how the system worked. In the past I had heard horror stories of what happens to kids in foster care and group homes. I was even told of  a close relative at the time that took on foster kids just for the money. They said she would take on the harder kids to deal with because they paid more money. She didn't care for the kids I was told and didn't treat them very well.  When we were take…

• A look at child abuse

  17 Jan 2012 | 11:23 pm

   Child abuse exists all across the world. It affects all ethnic racial and economic groups. Depending on where your live, cultural ways, or religious beliefs abuse may mean something different to different people. Abuse doesn't have to be action. It can be the lack of action as well. Some people may think that it's only abuse if it's something violent which isn't the case. People may think that abuse only comes from "bad" people but sometimes it may be a lack of knowledge of parenting. While not the only reason child abuse is one of the main causes children go into foster care. There are…

• What it's like to be a foster child

  9 Jan 2012 | 11:23 pm

    A couple months ago I was contacted by the author of Attempting Agape to do a guest blog on what it was like for me as a foster kid. She wanted to know what I felt foster parents and the system did both poorly and well and what I would like foster parents to understand. Thought I would share my guest post on what it's like for me being a foster child.   As a former foster child I can remember that day when we we’re taken out of our house and the foster care worker telling my brother’s and I we wouldn’t be going back home that day. The first thought in my mind was where we…

• Foster children over medicated?

  5 Jan 2012 | 1:42 am

   This past month our so I've noticed a lot of articles about foster children being over medicated. After doing a little internet searching on the subject of foster care over medication I found that really there are two sides to the story. At the same time this report comes out there are others that say medication in foster care has cut back. It seems to vary by state or even who you talk to. Some foster kids that have aged out feel they were victimized again by being put on the medication. With all these reports saying different things it really seems like there is no real cut answer to…

• Looking back then into the new year

  27 Dec 2011 | 11:30 pm

   New years is a time to celebrate, reflect on the past year, and look towards the future at how we're going to better ourselves. Just looking back on this website it's been up for a little over six months and a little more than 8,600 page views. At the start of this site I didn't know where I was going with it. I'm not really for sure still and just playing it by ear. Right now I look to share my story and the stories of others in foster care. I think it's important to let others know they aren't alone and to give foster/adopted parents insight into the mind of a foster child.  Over…

• 

  WordPress.com News

• Chrome Users: Try the WordPress.com Extension

  Christopher Finke

  27 Jan 2012 | 1:54 pm

  Want to receive WordPress.com notifications instantly, even when you’re not on WordPress.com? Add the new WordPress.com extension for Chrome and as soon as you get a new follower or a new like on one of your posts, a notification will appear in your browser: Simply click the icon to view your latest WordPress.com notifications: Start following new blogs without visiting WordPress.com The Chrome extension also makes it easy to follow sites from your WordPress.com account by displaying a Follow button whenever you’re browsing a site that has an RSS feed. Clicking the Follow button…

• Your Stats Have a New Home

  Andy Skelton

  26 Jan 2012 | 10:46 am

  Are you addicted to checking your site stats? You are not alone. The stats dashboard has always been one of the most popular admin screens. It’s gratifying to know that people are visiting your place online. With the WordPress.com front page evolving into a one-stop shop for posting, exploring, following and reading blogs, it seemed natural to put your blog stats there, too.  Stats are becoming more and more about interacting with your readers and other bloggers. You’ll still see your summary stats and chart on your main dashboard, and the full stats page in your dashboard will…

• Reblogging is Back!

  Erica Johnson

  22 Jan 2012 | 1:27 pm

  As we mentioned last week, you can like and reblog posts directly from your reader, which displays a stream of all the updates published on all the blogs you follow from your WordPress.com account. We’ve also brought the reblog button back to the toolbar that appears at the top of the screen when you’re logged into WordPress.com. Note that you’ll only see the like and reblog options while you’re looking at individual posts. For example, you’ll see this on the left side of your toolbar while viewing http://en.blog.wordpress.com/2012/01/20/read-blogs: And your…

• New Theme: Newsy

  Philip Arthur Moore

  20 Jan 2012 | 12:18 pm

  It’s been an extra big week in the news ’round these parts, so much so that the launch announcement of our latest premium theme seems like an extra extra good way to headline our Friday. Newsy is a versatile business and news-friendly theme that offers up to ten different layouts, four footer columns, custom link and accent colors, and a custom site header. Brand and content-focused editorial teams will love publishing with this theme. Newsy: Home Page Designed by Themify, Newsy comes with an impressive set of Theme Options that afford you a great deal of flexibility with how you…

• Read All Your Favorite Blogs in One Place

  Erica Johnson

  19 Jan 2012 | 6:04 pm

  If you feel like it’s a chore to keep up with all your favorite blogs, you can now read posts from all the blogs you follow (even the ones that aren’t on WordPress.com!) in one convenient place on the WordPress.com home page: Your reader displays all the posts across all the blogs you follow in the order they were published, with the most recent content appearing at the top. You’ll see an excerpt of the introduction to each post, the first image in the post, and thumbnails of any other images that the post contains. You can even like and reblog WordPress.com content directly…