Adoption

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  • Who can call herself a mother?

    [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum
    4 May 2015 | 11:28 am
    Jane and Lorraine, daughter and mother“They call me ‘biological mother.’I hate those words. They make me sound like a baby machine, a conduit, without emotions. They tell me to forget and go out and make a new life.         I had a baby and I gave her away. But I am a mother.”Those words are from my memoir Birthmark, and are the most quoted language in the book. At the time of publication in 1979, the debate over what to call women who relinquished children was just beginning. Before that, we were “natural mothers.”But that term was thought to be offensive to…
  • What makes a mother?

    [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum
    1 May 2015 | 4:51 pm
    Unwilling mother Sherri ShepherdAs if we didn't already know, the whole "assisted reproduction" business is a mess, both from a legal and a moral standpoint. The latest escapades are those of Sherri Shepherd who lost her fight not to be a mother and Nick Loeb who is fighting to be a father.Shepherd, a former co-host on The View, entered into an agreement with her then husband Lamar Sally and Jessica Bartholomew to have Bartholomew carry a child created through Sally's sperm and a donated egg. By the time the baby boy, Lamar Sally, Jr., was born eight months ago, Shepherd had filed…
  • When Your Story Is No Longer Just About You

    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth
    4 May 2015 | 8:15 pm
    By Laura Marie Scoggins Many adoptee bloggers begin by telling their own story. Maybe they are in the process of searching and chronicle unfolding events. Sometimes they are like me and begin writing the story years after the reunion has unfolded. My biggest advice to someone going through the search and reunion process is to start a journal and record everything. It doesn’t have to be a public blog, but at least get that journal started. Trust me! You are going to wish you did. I did... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • My Heart’s Edge

    ReadingWritingLiving
    Susan
    14 Apr 2015 | 12:00 pm
    20 years ago, I began putting together pieces for a collection of literature about adoption. Poet Tina Cervin was my coeditor and we spent years passing shopping bags full of manuscripts back-and-forth to each other. Yes, no, maybe? Finally, in 1999, the book was born. We were so proud of it, of the beautiful works by first time writers as well as rock stars like Isabel Allende, Charles Baxter, Dan Chaon, and even Joni Mitchell. (her poem/song “Little Green” is about the daughter she relinquished for adoption) It was a gorgeous, powerful book, but was never a huge commercial…
  • Math in Nature

    Lavender Luz
    Lori Holden
    4 May 2015 | 3:30 am
    Today’s Post Brought to You by the Number 5 and my Hoya Plant I’m fascinated by math in nature. I’m drawn to patterns of all sorts — especially fractals — and I often find myself subconsciously subitizing as I walk along the creek path, checking for interesting formations I observe on plants, animals, rocks, clouds, … Continue reading Math in Nature → The post Math in Nature appeared first on Lavender Luz.
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    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth

  • When Your Story Is No Longer Just About You

    4 May 2015 | 8:15 pm
    By Laura Marie Scoggins Many adoptee bloggers begin by telling their own story. Maybe they are in the process of searching and chronicle unfolding events. Sometimes they are like me and begin writing the story years after the reunion has unfolded. My biggest advice to someone going through the search and reunion process is to start a journal and record everything. It doesn’t have to be a public blog, but at least get that journal started. Trust me! You are going to wish you did. I did... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Teleflora’s Commercial Tribute to Young, Single Mothers

    4 May 2015 | 8:15 pm
    By Susie While wasting time on Facebook the other night, I kept seeing a link that several different friends had posted about a Teleflora commercial that had left them in tears. It left me in tears too. But for reasons unlike my friends. Especially during this month of May, that includes not only Mother’s Day, but also Christopher’s birthday.What a kick in the gut.This wonderful son, grown up and serving in the military. Who had been born to a single mom who gave up her dreams of... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Math in Nature

    4 May 2015 | 8:14 am
    By Lori Holden Today’s Post Brought to You by the Number 5 and my Hoya Plant I’m fascinated by math in nature. I’m drawn to patterns of all sorts — especially fractals — and I often find myself subconsciously subitizing as I walk along the creek path, checking for interesting formations I observe on plants, animals, rocks, clouds, … Continue reading Math in Nature → The post Math in Nature appeared first on Lavender Luz. Read at the Source: : Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • The Ultimate Identity Theft

    30 Apr 2015 | 8:14 pm
    By Laura Marie Scoggins On March 25, 2015, I mailed the application for my Ohio original birth certificate. Just five days after opening day. Finally, on April 20 I received an envelope in the mail from the State of Ohio, Department of Health. The envelope contained a piece of my identity that has been behind lock and key for almost 50 years. How do you even describe what it feels like for a part of yourself to be held captive for so long? Based on the trail of lies and missing pieces... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Replacing the Infamous Crack Whore Birth Mother T-shirt

    admin
    29 Apr 2015 | 6:52 pm
    The official and infamous Crack Whore Birth Mother t-shirt is leaving AdoptionLand forever. Say goodbye. It has served its time, turned some heads, had its day, but that time is over. read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
 
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    ReadingWritingLiving

  • My Heart’s Edge

    Susan
    14 Apr 2015 | 12:00 pm
    20 years ago, I began putting together pieces for a collection of literature about adoption. Poet Tina Cervin was my coeditor and we spent years passing shopping bags full of manuscripts back-and-forth to each other. Yes, no, maybe? Finally, in 1999, the book was born. We were so proud of it, of the beautiful works by first time writers as well as rock stars like Isabel Allende, Charles Baxter, Dan Chaon, and even Joni Mitchell. (her poem/song “Little Green” is about the daughter she relinquished for adoption) It was a gorgeous, powerful book, but was never a huge commercial…
  • Good Thing I’m Not An Architect

    Susan
    23 Mar 2015 | 9:02 pm
    If I was an architect or a builder, I’m sure that I’d be building falling-down bridges and houses whose floors tilted so that marbles would roll from wall to wall. My staircases would be crooked and there would be corridors that led nowhere. Surely, the bathtubs would leak onto the kitchen table. It’s taken me decades to construct this book of mine, this story-without-end. I’ve read countless books and taken classes, hired helpers and still, this unwieldy piece of writing has eluded me like Jell-O slipping through my fingers. I spent today in a fever, writing a book…
  • Clearing The Way for Words

    Susan
    23 Feb 2015 | 6:34 pm
    I’ve been dealing with some writing “stuckness” in the past month or so. And I’ve been aware that it’s had to do with both inner and outer obstacles. The writing was just not happening. The first thing I needed to deal with was my space. I alternate between writing in my home office, and my shared office space at the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto. But recently I realized I was fleeing to the Grotto more often than not, because my own space was just such a damn mess. These photos don’t even begin to show the half of the mountains of paper and boxes all…
  • Walking, Writing, Shhhhhhh

    Susan
    17 Feb 2015 | 9:26 pm
    Walk without speaking for one hour. Then, write without stopping for another hour. It’s a simple sequence, but somehow it’s magical, what that combination can produce. I’ve been doing this practice since 1996, when my writing friend introduced me to it. We’d switch locations: one week, we’d walk the beach in San Francisco and then write at her house; then the next week, we’d walk in the redwood forest and write at mine. We ended up writing hundreds of pages in this way. What happened in that silence during the walk?  Every walking hour was different.
  • Would You Read It Carved Into A Stone Tablet?

    Susan
    23 Apr 2014 | 2:06 pm
    book cover art by Mollie Ito Roark I’m so excited. My mini-memoir, The Mouse Room, was published by SheBooks a few weeks ago.  Yahoo! I’ve been working not this crazy story for decades- first as fiction, then as part of longer piece, then finally as this little 33-page memoir. I’m proud of it. I worked really hard at it and had some fabulous editing by the folks at SheBooks. I’ve gotten wonderful responses so far. Some very cool Amazon reviews. But one of the things I was not expecting, was to hear several people say to me, “I’d love to read your book, but…
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    Lavender Luz

  • Math in Nature

    Lori Holden
    4 May 2015 | 3:30 am
    Today’s Post Brought to You by the Number 5 and my Hoya Plant I’m fascinated by math in nature. I’m drawn to patterns of all sorts — especially fractals — and I often find myself subconsciously subitizing as I walk along the creek path, checking for interesting formations I observe on plants, animals, rocks, clouds, … Continue reading Math in Nature → The post Math in Nature appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Paperback Writer

    Lori Holden
    27 Apr 2015 | 4:40 am
    Brief announcement After two years available only in hardcover and e-book formats, my publisher, Rowman & Littlefield, is releasing The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption in paperback in a few weeks. This means two things. First, the book will be available at a paperback price — woo-hoo! If you pre-order today, Amazon will make sure … Continue reading Paperback Writer → The post Paperback Writer appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • I Don’t Look So Good in Huffy (Found Out the Hard Way)

    Lori Holden
    20 Apr 2015 | 4:00 am
    It’s first period and I’m teaching high schoolers. The end of class is near and I’m starting to worry if  each small group is going to get a chance to present what they’ve been working on. There’s a commotion in the hallway. An entire class of middle schoolers, many of whom I teach on a … Continue reading I Don’t Look So Good in Huffy (Found Out the Hard Way) → The post I Don’t Look So Good in Huffy (Found Out the Hard Way) appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • It’s Summer O’Clock Somewhere

    Lori Holden
    13 Apr 2015 | 4:00 am
    Spring is still a newborn bald gulping baby bird in the northern hemisphere, but here in Denver we’ve had temperatures in the 70s so I’m prematurely ready to announce Lori’s Summer Drink of 2015. I discovered this concoction in February when Andy came through town and I met her for dinner. So for me this … Continue reading It’s Summer O’Clock Somewhere → The post It’s Summer O’Clock Somewhere appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Dealing with Adoption’s Ghost Kingdom (and GIVEAWAY)

    Lori Holden
    8 Apr 2015 | 8:30 am
    Part 3: The Role of Mindfulness in Adoption Even though I just completed a 4-part series called Parenting GPS, today I offer you the last part of a different series, a 3 part interview that was originally published in Foster Focus magazine. Get caught up with Part 1 on Adoption at the Movies (how to … Continue reading Dealing with Adoption’s Ghost Kingdom (and GIVEAWAY) → The post Dealing with Adoption’s Ghost Kingdom (and GIVEAWAY) appeared first on Lavender Luz.
 
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    O Momma Writes

  • What’s the right pillow for you? And how to choose!

    Ashley Roberts
    24 Apr 2015 | 7:31 am
    Pillows! They are so important for a good night’s sleep, but they are not all one and the same and there is no ‘one size fits all’. Perusing the multitude of available pillow options can be confusing and it can also be hard to know where to start or what you actually need. Why buy quality? While many different bedding products, including pillows, are available at a range of price points, buying the best quality possible is always advisable. Refer to the websites of exceptional quality pillow and bedding companies to better understand the features and benefits of the products they sell.
  • 10 Smart Ways Moms Can Spend Their Tax Returns

    Ashley Roberts
    22 Apr 2015 | 12:50 pm
    While tax season is usually dreaded, the silver lining for many people is the tax return check they will receive. While the amount ranges from small to large depending upon the person, any extra money is a welcomed blessing. Though it can be tempting to blow through that money, before making a rash decision as to where to spend it, take a careful look at your budget. Assess your financial means before determining whether the money should be saved or spent.   Here are 10 smart ways moms can spend their tax returns:   Home Improvements Many home improvement projects go on the back…
  • How to Sell Your Phone for Cash

    Ashley Roberts
    7 Apr 2015 | 12:47 pm
    With many people looking to upgrade their mobile phones, there are tons of old cell phones available that can be exchanged for money. If you are also one of those people asking “where do I sell my mobile in the UK for a good amount of cash?”, then there are several methods to do that. With the immense popularity of the Internet, it has become a main source of business in twenty first century. You can also take the assistance of the Internet in order to sell your mobile phone and earn money by placing an auction of your phone on several websites. There you can choose your preferred method…
  • How to Prepare for Becoming a Stay at Home Mom

    Ashley Roberts
    6 Mar 2015 | 5:14 pm
    Being a stay at home parent is something that many people dream about as soon as they start thinking about having kids. Being able to stay home not only means being able to raise one kids on their own, but also having the ability to never miss a second of their precious lives. There are a lot of things that a couple needs to consider if they want to have the mother stay home with the kids. Here are some ways to prepare for becoming a stay at home mom that anyone can use to make the transition easier. Find a flexible way to make money from home Unfortunately, there are a lot of couples today…
  • Why Sports Are Important for Students

    Ashley Roberts
    6 Mar 2015 | 10:42 am
    School sports are a major part of many middle schools, high schools, and colleges. While some might worry that they take time away from academics, others argue that they are extremely important for the well being of today’s students. There are several reasons for this.   Increase Health   Sports are a great way for students to get exercise. Many students spend a lot of their days sitting. This is due to the large amount of reading and homework that they need to complete. Playing a sport allows them to stay physically fit. It decreases the likelihood of obesity in today’s youth,…
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    Third Mom

  • A plea for adoptee medical history

    Margie Perscheid
    5 May 2015 | 7:00 am
    A lovely young friend of mine – adoptee from Korea, mother, wife, dedicated social worker and friend to many – passed away over the weekend. She was just past 40, far too young to leave this life. What took her was cancer, as is the case with many, diagnosed too late to give her more than a reprieve from the worst. She fought it like a Trojan and lived every last minute she reclaimed to the very fullest. What an inspiration she was and always will be! I know the cancer that took my friend. It took my aunt far too young as well. Her children are at risk, too, but knowing my aunt's history…
  • Clarification

    Margie Perscheid
    22 Feb 2015 | 10:41 am
    I wrote a post last week following an online debacle not of my making, but which drew me in anyway and pretty much blew up my adoption world. Although I don't shy away from confrontation, the kind of confrontation I like focuses on issues, not personalities and factions, but that approach to trying to extricate myself from this situation didn't serve me well. By the time it had ended, I had lost two acquaintances I don't regret losing and a friend I do. It is, unfortunately, what it is.Although I got some kind comments immediately after publishing the post, I also got an immediate message…
  • When a door closes

    Margie Perscheid
    17 Feb 2015 | 10:18 am
    Last week was a rough one on my adoptionland. As I always do when this happens, I stepped back, circled the wagons and spent some time trying to re-center myself by focusing on my family. My kids live far away now, so I caught up with them by phone and text. I also checked their Facebook pages to see what fun they’ve been up to. Neither are avid Facebookers, but both had a few new photos posted, some theirs and some posted by friends. I was struck, as I’ve been struck before, by the demographics of their friends, the majority of whom are non-adopted Asians of various ethnicities, people…
  • Honor adoptees by honoring their privacy

    Margie Perscheid
    17 Dec 2014 | 4:51 am
    There has been a lot of talk this week in my online circles around a post by a popular adoptive parent blogger about her kids and the holidays - "parenting kids who sabotage big days," as she puts it.Kids and sabotage are words I really don't like hearing in the same sentence. And although I am sure there are legions of Jen Hatmaker supporters who are ready to carry her banner and dismiss anyone who disagrees, I say that much of the behavior Ms. Hatmaker describes is a result of parental behaviors that focus far more on their own agendas and not early as much as they should on what kids…
  • Status Hearing in the Kim Hyunsu Murder Case

    Margie Perscheid
    8 Dec 2014 | 11:52 am
    I attended a status hearing that was held today in Montgomery County Circuit Court in the case of Brian Patrick O’Callaghan, the Damascus, MD man charged with the murder of little Kim Hyunsu, whom O’Callaghan and his wife adopted in February of 2014.The hearing took place in the courtroom of Judge John W. Debelius, III. The defendant, Brian Patrick O’Callaghan, was present, along with his attorneys, Steven J. McCool and Julia M. Fisher of the law firm of Mallon & McCool. Two prosecutors represented the State of Maryland, who from what I was able to hear during the…
 
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    Writing My Wrongs

  • Best of Friends

    Suz
    27 Apr 2015 | 4:52 pm
    I am blown away by the support I have received for my nephew, the single and soon to be first time dad.  Baby is expected in August and he is young and single and struggling. He is dedicated to being part of his daughters life. So many of you have sent gifts and notes of encouragement to him. Thank you. Thanks to my friends in IL and my friends in UK and all others.  You are pretty amazing.  Doing what was not done for us. I will be sure to keep you updated on Michael and his daughter.   Related posts: Old Friends, New Friends, Fresh Old Wounds Friends and Family Discount Bad Mothers…
  • Thoughts on Teeth

    Suz
    22 Apr 2015 | 12:52 pm
    I am inclined to agree with Claudia’s review of Born With Teeth. It is not an adoption reunion memoir. It is a memoir that has a thin thread of adoption reunion woven through it. Despite that, I still enjoyed reading it. The adoption thread seems to be broken into three pieces for me. The first part of the book talks about Kate becoming pregnant by David. The section where she tells her mother about the pregnancy and her mother refuses to help made me wince. I could relate to the feeling expressed in these passages. I suspect many of us could. I could also relate to Kate’s refusal to get…
  • More Mulgrew

    Suz
    20 Apr 2015 | 4:18 am
    Good article and video over at CBSNews featuring Kate Mulgrew talking about her book. Video interview included as well. Cannot embed so I am offering you the link. Go watch and read. Kate Mulgrew’s Quest Related posts: Born With Teeth [Book] Born with Teeth [Book] I am Kate Vaughn
  • Born With Teeth [Book]

    Suz
    18 Apr 2015 | 4:44 pm
    Yesterday the post office delivered Born with Teeth : A Memoir to my doorstep. This afternoon I finished reading it. Have you read? Ordered? I recommend. I will hold back on a full review for now as I do not want to spoil it for my readers. I will offer it was only a teeny bit triggering for me at points. I will also share there is much mention of my hometown in the book! I was surprised. Kate Mulgrew apparently acted at the Shakespeare Theatre in my town and spent quite a bit of time in and around it. Made me smile to see references to restuarants and parts of town I frequented as a child.
  • Reunion Truth

    Suz
    10 Apr 2015 | 10:05 am
    I get it yet I don’t. I suppose I do not because the individual impacted is someone I care about. I get it because given what I know of the situation the past many years, it sort of makes sense. Things that were odd or confusing or just plain goofy now seem to fall in line. There is an “aha” moment of sorts. Yet I am still angered on behalf of my friend. It feels like a betrayal. Friend was reunited with birth parent many years ago. While things have been odd at times, there was regular connections, visits a few times a year, and texting now and then. Early in the relationship it was…
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    [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

  • Who can call herself a mother?

    4 May 2015 | 11:28 am
    Jane and Lorraine, daughter and mother“They call me ‘biological mother.’I hate those words. They make me sound like a baby machine, a conduit, without emotions. They tell me to forget and go out and make a new life.         I had a baby and I gave her away. But I am a mother.”Those words are from my memoir Birthmark, and are the most quoted language in the book. At the time of publication in 1979, the debate over what to call women who relinquished children was just beginning. Before that, we were “natural mothers.”But that term was thought to be offensive to…
  • What makes a mother?

    1 May 2015 | 4:51 pm
    Unwilling mother Sherri ShepherdAs if we didn't already know, the whole "assisted reproduction" business is a mess, both from a legal and a moral standpoint. The latest escapades are those of Sherri Shepherd who lost her fight not to be a mother and Nick Loeb who is fighting to be a father.Shepherd, a former co-host on The View, entered into an agreement with her then husband Lamar Sally and Jessica Bartholomew to have Bartholomew carry a child created through Sally's sperm and a donated egg. By the time the baby boy, Lamar Sally, Jr., was born eight months ago, Shepherd had filed…
  • Demanding adoptee rights! Now!

    29 Apr 2015 | 10:52 am
    Unsealing Initiative demonstrating on the steps of New York's City Hall for adoptee rights legislation in 2013. When people ask for something for themselves--rather than others asking for them--they are more likely to get it.  Sounds simple, right?I'm thinking about rights for adoptees and natural mothers. Twice recently I have heard the above idea expressed. On CBS This Morning a woman was talking about this being the week students must make their final decisions about where they will go college this fall. The woman noted that since financial considerations enter…
  • Approaching a natural mother without scaring her away

    26 Apr 2015 | 5:19 pm
    LorraineDear First Mother Forum:I found my natural mother and we are writing to one another--but I am so afraid of offending her, and she seems quite wounded when I bring up my father. My life as an adopted child was not good, and while I don't blame her for that, I'm afraid of telling her about it. Is there a blog post that might be helpful?--Walking On EggshellsThis is a common story, and we hear it from both sides--both natural mothers and found children going into reunion are terribly afraid of saying the wrong thing, doing the wrong thing--and neither ones of us knows what the trigger…
  • The thriving domestic adoption craze

    24 Apr 2015 | 5:07 am
    Lorraine and reunited daughter, Jane  Earlier this week we covered the subject of children who might be adopted who are in foster care, and international, or intercountry adoption. Today we finish this chapter talking about the reality of adopting today in America, a topic that seems particularly relevant after a recent comment at the previous blog from a woman who signs herself: Birthmumof2.She wrote of having a good, open adoption with the adoptive parents of her two full siblings she has relinquished to a family she knows and trusts. She baby-sits for the children; the parents…
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    GROWNINMYHEART.COM

  • The Ideas of Replacement Kitchen Cabinet Doors

    admin
    17 Apr 2015 | 8:32 am
    You might be questioning why we should replace our kitchen cabinet doors and what the importance is. Now I’ll tell you that replacement kitchen cabinet doors are not only when it is broken. Instead, it is valuable for creating new sensation into our kitchen particularly and home interior generally. Replacing the doors of the cabinets is also useful for making the room fresher because it has a new look. A bunch of ideas of kitchen cabinet door you can find below. Kitchen Cabinet Door Ideas If your kitchen cabinet doors are made of wood and tend to traditional, you are able to replace it with…
  • The Color Ideas for Contemporary Kitchen Cabinets

    admin
    15 Apr 2015 | 7:12 am
    Have you found the greatest colors to modernize your kitchen area? If you want to get the inspiration of contemporary kitchen, you can read further this page for here we share the stunning and contemporary kitchen cabinets. Colored pretentiously with glossy and bright tones, the contemporary kitchen cabinet designs looks highly stunning and glorious. Moreover, it is enhanced by exquisite cabinet shapes and styles. Not to exaggerate, it makes the kitchen area purely alluring. Contemporary Kitchen Cabinet Colors If you are interested in coloring the kitchen area of your house it bright tones,…
  • Steps to Make an Interesting Two Tone Kitchen Cabinets Design

    admin
    9 Apr 2015 | 8:15 am
    I say that recoloring the kitchen cabinet is deeply important that you won’t be bored because of the monotonous room design and its color. Then, today we give you a bunch of inspiration of how to paint your kitchen cabinets with two tone finish. The two tone kitchen cabinets can make your kitchen area and interior décor more beautiful and colorful because it is entertaining. Let’s see the tips below! Two Tone Kitchen Cabinet Steps Before transforming your unassuming kitchen cabinets as two tone kitchen cabinets, you should clean it to reduce the residue and dust. In order to clean it,…
  • Wholesale Kitchen Cabinets for the Simple One

    admin
    3 Apr 2015 | 9:58 pm
    Wholesale Kitchen Cabinets are the best one for people that want to make their kitchen looking simple. With this one, people will have something that can save the tools in the cabinets. Therefore, with this one, the appearance of the kitchen is neatly. This orderly appearance can make people to have beautiful mood to cook in their kitchen because the messy appearance will give bad mood for people that want to cook. Wholesale Kitchen Cabinets for Neatly Kitchen Mostly, people love to look the kitchen beautiful one. The beautiful one can be seen how people can arrange their tools in the…
  • The Wonderful Home Depot Kitchen Cabinets

    admin
    26 Mar 2015 | 7:48 am
    Are you confused for finding the right cabinets for your kitchen? If you think that strength and durability are your main concern in choosing a cabinet, you better take a look in the home depot kitchen cabinets. These cabinets have so many advantages compared to other product which come from another producer. For many years, home depot has provided the finest furniture for home decoration and other things. They have been licensed for their experience in selling home decoration and materials for building. The Advantages of Home Depot Kitchen Cabinets The first thing that makes home depot…
 
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    Adoption Truth

  • Repeat After Me

    9 Apr 2015 | 7:51 pm
    Okay, sit back, get comfortable, clear your throat and repeat after me . . . The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie!Let’s say it one more time . . . The promise of Birth Mother privacy is a lie!I have yet, in the many years I’ve been a part of the fight for Adoptee Rights and Adoption Reform, come across a First (Birth) Mom who was promised privacy.  And I have never seen a single piece of legal paper guaranteeing such a thing.If you are a First Mom who claims you were promised privacy, you are either lying or were lied to.  It is just that simple.To carry out a promise of…
  • Scream Until It Hurts

    6 Jan 2015 | 3:19 pm
    When my middle son was just a baby, I worked at a day care center that included infant care – it was all about the benefit of reduced child care costs and being able to work while still being near my baby.During my time there, I had an experience I will never forget.  An experience that forever changed me.  In the crib next to my son’s in the infant room was a baby boy named Garrett.  One afternoon, during the routine checks of the sleeping babies, the two wonderful ladies who cared for the infants discovered Baby Garrett wasn’t breathing.Those of us who knew CPR were…
  • A Day For Change

    23 Sep 2014 | 5:13 am
    There is a story I could write today.  One that will never go away.  Will always break my heart a little bit more when I think of it.But after a lot of thought, I’ve decided to give this first year a moment of peace, for an innocent little girl and her natural family who lost so much more than anyone ever deserves.I can’t, though, let this day go with complete silence.  It holds too much pain.  Too many reminders of the hard realities that are so much a part of what adoption has become in our country.  Truths that so many still choose to ignore, dismiss or simply…
  • My Not So Perfect Life

    25 Jun 2014 | 1:52 pm
    Did you know my family is crazy?  We’re dysfunctional.  We make huge mistakes.  We can be irritating and annoying.  And we are so far from perfect or anything close to it.And yet, as one who was literally saved from becoming yet another “unplanned pregnancy” lost to adoption, I am so thankful for my family, all the good AND all the bad.We had another big family wedding over the weekend.  It was my cousin’s wedding on my maternal side and since my mother is one of seven siblings, I have an abundance of aunts and uncles and amazing cousins that flood such family…
  • A Grandmother's Worry

    18 Jun 2014 | 3:31 pm
    I’m going to be a grandmother again.This time through my middle son and his wonderful, long-time girlfriend.It’s been almost three years now since I first became a grandmother and it’s hard to even find the words to describe what it’s like.  I love every minute of it.  I can’t get enough of watching her grow, become her own person with her own unique personality, while still seeing, recognizing, how much she is like her father, my youngest son, and her mother, my amazing daughter-in-law.And as I enjoy the miracle of being a grandmother.  The joy of expecting another…
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    One Thankful Mom | Lisa Qualls

  • Caught in the Current

    Lisa Qualls
    5 May 2015 | 9:23 am
      Life continues to feel slightly more normal. I’m getting stronger, sleeping better, and overall, having much less pain. It’s somewhat easier to leave the house and go out into the world. I’ve made it to the grocery store, baseball games, Bible study, track meets, and even gone out to dinner with friends. It’s all […]
  • Standing in That Place

    Lisa Qualls
    30 Apr 2015 | 6:47 am
      “Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don’t be afraid.” Frederick Buechner After nearly four months, I returned to the place of our accident – where Kalkidan’s life on earth ended and her beautiful eternity began. Russ and I were on our way to the Spokane Orphan Summit and the best […]
  • Two Miles and a World Away

    Lisa Qualls
    27 Apr 2015 | 2:12 pm
    I have so much to share with you – about driving past the site of the accident for the first time, about today being the four month anniversary of Kalkidan going to heaven, of how tears are so close today…but what I’m going to tell you about is the fun we had yesterday with our […]
  • In This Together

    Lisa Qualls
    24 Apr 2015 | 2:34 pm
    Russ traveled to California for a meeting this week. It was the first time he’d been away since the accident and I was a little anxious about it. It’s not that life is terribly hard, it’s more that we are leaning hard on one another. I often rest my head on his chest and breathe; I need […]
  • Yoga and Coffee

    Lisa Qualls
    20 Apr 2015 | 1:50 pm
    Spring semester is winding down, projects are wrapping up and finals are looming in the near future.  Isaiah had a little hiccup this semester that is still making me laugh, so (with his permission) I just have to share. The caveat is that I’m probably going to miss some important details and when Isaiah reads it, he’ll […]
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    Rage Against the Minivan

  • My favorite teacher, and how she inspired me . . .

    5 May 2015 | 1:29 pm
    It’s National Teacher Appreciation Week, and the National Education Association wants to create a digital lovefest for teachers with the hashtag #thankateacher. I thought I would take the opportunity to talk about one of my favorite teachers. Ms. Ridenhour is no longer with us, but I am really grateful that I got the chance to thank her before she passed. In fact, for several years after graduating I would stop by my high school to say hello and update her on my life. She had a huge influence on me. I met Ms. Ridenhour my sophomore year. She taught my honors English class and she loved…
  • Do you let your kids destroy their toys?

    4 May 2015 | 10:43 pm
    A reader wrote in with this question, and I thought it was a good one. Let's discuss!I have a serious, burning question that I need some fellow parenting help with. (Most of my friends are behind in this stage of the game so far!) So if you get writer’s block and need a quick post I’d love to know…Do you let your kids destroy their toys?So for example, on one hand… they’re his toys, they’re there to help him learn and grow, let him play/destroy/color/put stickers on them to his heart’s content! Doesn’t matter! It’s just stuff! Who cares?! As…
  • On motherhood and leaving a legacy for my kids

    4 May 2015 | 8:00 am
    This post is sponsored by Legacy.com.Mother’s Day is an interesting holiday for me. It was a devastating day for many years, because of a string of miscarriages that left me feeling like I was a mom with no living children. It was further compounded when we were placed with Jafta but not able to finalized his adoption for another 3 years. Every mother’s day I was aware that I was a mom, but that this could be a temporary situation. Because of those years, I’m keenly aware of the gratitude I feel about being a mom. It didn’t come easily for me and I don’t ever want to take it for…
  • What I want you to know about foreclosure

    4 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by Marleea.In the fall of 2011 we lost our home… it was auctioned off at the county court house. Obviously, I did not attend the auction, and honestly I spent the entire day in fear that the sheriff was going to show up at my door and serve some sort of papers to kick us out. But that…
  • Friday Finds

    1 May 2015 | 6:00 pm
    1. OutSANDing Mat: The sand-free mat that leaves sand by OutSANDing | Etsy2. Soccer Girl Anna Doll | Gogosportsgirls3. Wireless Speaker For Bluetooth Devices - Tadpole | iFrogz4. Safe Headphones for Kids | Purosound5. Nerf Super Soaker Barrage Soaker | Hasbro 6. Acne & Oil Control Mask™| Triderma 7. UN Women's Pink Paradise Scarf | Tothemarket8. DohVinci Flower Tower Complete Frame Kit | Hasbro 9. Pump In Style® Advanced Breastpump | Medela
 
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    Julie Gumm - Author

  • Our Ethiopia Trip – Arriving to Family

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    21 Apr 2015 | 11:00 pm
    Our Monday flight from Dubai to Ethiopia was a “quick” 4 hours and we arrived there a little after 1:30 p.m. Dad rushed us off the plane and into the Visa line to beat the crowd. Surprise…visa prices had gone up $30 each since his last trip. Darn. All morning you could tell that anxiety levels were a little elevated. It showed in some of us more than others. I gave the kids one last pep talk as we headed into baggage claim. It was probably all forgotten by the time we waited nearly an hour to collect our 3 large bags. (Are you impressed with our packing skills? I was.) We…
  • Our Ethiopia Trip – Exploring Dubai

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    20 Apr 2015 | 10:47 am
    Finally getting around to blogging about our trip…. One of the advantages to flying Emirates to Ethiopia is the chance to explore Dubai. On the way there (departing from Dallas) we had a 22-hour layover. We landed before noon and were out of the airport by about 1:00 – not bad. (BTW, the kids did great on the flight. With over 2,000 entertainment options in the seat-back screens, my children will forever be spoiled for airline travel. The food wasn’t bad either. Luke didn’t care for it but the rest of us were pretty pleased. About 7 hours from our destination I made…
  • Returning to Ethiopia

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    16 Mar 2015 | 9:00 pm
    Ah, the neglected blog…..sorry. Life is crazy, and chaotic and by the time I manage working full time, cooking, running to athletic events and just managing life, there has not been much time for blogging. But there is cause for celebration! Five days from now we will be winging our way to Ethiopia – the WHOLE family! We’ve been dreaming of doing this for years. We told Beza & Luke we would someday take them back. And the day is near at hand. They will get a chance to visit extended family, including their grandmother. Noah and Natalie will have a chance to see where…
  • “You Can Adopt Without Debt” – New book NOW AVAILABLE!

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    5 Jan 2015 | 8:00 pm
    It’s launch day! Approximately 2.5 years in the making, I’m beyond thrilled to have “You Can Adopt Without Debt: Creative Ways to Cover the Cost of Adoption” finally available!! The book was written with one goal in mind – to equip families wanting to adopt with the tools and ideas to make their dream come true and do it without going into debt. Unlike my previous book,” You Can Adopt Without Debt” is designed to even help someone just beginning to think about adoption. It explores the different kinds of adoptions, gives pros and cons to each, guides…
  • Seasons of change … and waiting

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    2 Dec 2014 | 8:07 pm
    As the leaves fall from the trees here in beautiful Northwest Arkansas, we have passed a major step in our season of change. Our Phoenix house is sold. While it seemed like forever, in all it only took 10 weeks to get a buyer. And interestingly enough the day we accepted the offer our realtor got another call from someone who wanted to make an offer. Sometimes God provides in abundance. So now we can turn our attention to house hunting. We love living in a small town but that does mean the inventory is somewhat limited. Especially for a family our size. While we don’t need a mansion…
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    Lost Daughters

  • Parallels Between Adoptees of Color & the Civil Rights Movement

    Angela Tucker
    3 May 2015 | 10:19 pm
    Receiving emails from strangers is an hourly experience for me since the Netflix debut of Closure. However, rare is the occasion that I receive a two page letter as an attachment and even rarer still that the letters states; "I am neither an adoptee, nor an adoptive parent..." Such was the case from the correspondence from Dr. Rachel Harding, a professor at the University of Colorado Denver, the daughter of civil rights leader, Vincent Harding and an incredible conversationalist. Although Rachel and I connected months ago via email, it was only recently that we we were able to meet…
  • Reunited, a book by investigative genealogist Pamela Slaton

    Karen Pickell
    26 Apr 2015 | 8:40 am
    Reunited: An Investigative Genealogist Unlocks Some of Life’s Greatest Family Mysteries did not turn out to be the book I thought it would be—and that’s a good thing.I remembered Pamela Slaton from the documentary DMC: My Adoption Journey, which follows Darryl McDaniels of the hip-hop group Run-DMC on his quest to find his birth mother. In the film, McDaniels hires Slaton to help locate his mother after he repeatedly hits walls trying to find her on his own. What I didn’t recall was that Slaton is herself an adoptee. She weaves her own search and reunion story throughout Reunited,…
  • Dear Adoptive Parents: An "Angry Adoptee" Gets Vulnerable--The Pain Behind the Rage

    Mila
    21 Apr 2015 | 3:30 am
    I originally composed this "letter" on June 25, 2013. I never published it because it felt too vulnerable. However, after learning of yet another adoptee suicide just days ago, I feel compelled to share it. I share this with the hope of breaking through the culture of silence and euphemism in the adoption community. We need to normalize and create a culture of safety and acceptance for the intense and profound loss, grief, pain, anger, sorrow, guilt, and confusion that many adoptees experience and wrestle with on a daily basis, yet feel unable to manage due to stigmatization,…
  • Rooted to Resiliency: On Mother Dreams...(in loving memory of my Mom, Janet Jue, 1941-1999)

    Jennifer Bao Yu "Precious Jade" Jue-Steuck
    16 Apr 2015 | 12:58 pm
    DEAR SISTERS,Yesterday would have been my (adoptive) mother's birthday. I was 19 when she was diagnosed with terminal ovarian cancer. I watched her die beside me under our living room Christmas tree, and do you know that I have never been the same? It is one thing to lose a birthmother, and another to watch your (adoptive) mother die beside you. Do you think that I miss her?Part of being rooted to resiliency (for me) is learning how to be in connection...even whilst living in disconnection. How can you keep your own connections active and alive (even, and especially, in the face of great…
  • (Part 2) Internalized Adoptionism: Are You an Adoptionist?

    Mila
    15 Apr 2015 | 3:30 am
    If you have not read the post that preceded this one, "(Part 1) Internalized Adoptionism: What Racism Has Taught Me About Adoption," I recommend reading it for context. In short, I lay out a definition for internalized adoptionism (borrowing from Amy Sun's article on internalized racism):Internalized adoptionism is the process where adoptees and original families develop beliefs and behaviors that collude or support the institution of adoption. Internalized adoptionism is a form of systematic oppression where people and communities affected by adoption unconsciously support the adoption…
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    Unsigned Masterpiece

  • Who Needs Their Biological Mother Anyway?

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    27 Apr 2015 | 10:15 am
    Once again Lost Daughters hits it out of the park.Filed under: adoptees, Adoption
  • Fix You

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    31 Jan 2015 | 9:40 am
    I hear many adoptees say that they think that their mothers want them to fix the trauma the mom experience through adoption. I suspect it's not fixing most mothers want, it's understanding.
  • Reunion Wisdom from The Declassified Adoptee

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    8 Jan 2015 | 1:10 am
    Nine Things I’ve Learned in Five Years of Reunion Adoption reunion has to be the most complicated relationship you will ever enter into.  Mothers have been told how much their choice will be honoured, how perfect the adoptive parents will be.  Adoptees approach reunion with the story of their adoption and the adoptive parents’ perception […]
  • The Stones of December

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    9 Dec 2014 | 10:35 am
    As soon as I thought of a turquoise a memory flashed into my mind. It was of a ring that my grandfather used to wear, a small ring and it too had a turquoise ... My grandfather, like my son, was born in December.
  • Letter to an Adoption Ministry

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    24 Nov 2014 | 4:38 am
    Originally posted on orphanedheart:I saw a post recently on a forum that disturbed me.  There was a quote from a Christian about his take on the purpose of adoption. People who read his quote were ruffled…they were perturbed, and they bashed G-d.  It was hard to hear as a Christian person. I felt led…
 
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    Together for Adoption

  • Don’t Miss this Pre-Conference Workshop: “Switch Training: How To Change Things When Change Is Hard”

    Dan Cruver
    2 May 2015 | 8:29 am
    We at Together for Adoption have never been more excited about one of our pre-conference workshops. In light of last year’s conference theme (Urgency & Complexity: Biblical & Ethical Approaches to the Orphan Crisis), this year’s pre-conference workshop could not be more relevant and is the perfect compliment to our conference theme this year: Simple. Solutions are Closer than You Think.Whatever the major change challenge you need to tackle as a pre-adoptive or adoptive parent, a foster child advocate, foster parent, advocate of family reunification, adult adoptee, or a…
  • Adoption Nuggets (27): Dipping Into Metaphorical Theology (9)

    Tim J R Trumper
    30 Apr 2015 | 12:07 pm
     These dippings are intended to clear away some of the muddled thinking inherited from the historic neglect of adoption. They offer us a taste of the doctrine’s substratum ~ a foundation touched on in passing in some biblical studies of adoption, but consistently omitted from theological and practical treatments. I am offering not a final word on the subject of adoption as a metaphor, but what is  to most readers a first word. I venture into this area not because I have all the answers (nor all the correct ones), but because certain questions need to be posed if the church of…
  • A Brand New Family Retreat with an Adoption Focus

    Jason Kovacs
    22 Apr 2015 | 10:38 am
    We have the privilege of partnering with Northland Camp & Conference Center this year for a family retreat with an adoption focus. The goal if this unique June 22-27 family retreat is to provide adoptive families with refreshment and encouragement…and the encouragement begins by providing you with a 15% discount when you use the code “T4A” when you register. Learn more about this adoption-focused family retreat.From the Northland Camp & Conference Center website:Adoption is one way that Christians have tried to be faithful to their duty of caring for orphans, and it…
  • If Not for You — A Birthmother Story

    Dan Cruver
    20 Apr 2015 | 4:03 am
    Austin Stone’s Story Team just released its latest film, If Not for You. This is a story of Janice Moody, a birth mother who placed her baby for adoption and after twenty two years, she had the opportunity to meet him face to face for the first time. It’s a powerful story of adoption that shows the painful, yet redemptive journey of a birthmother.Synopsis: For a pregnant twenty-year-old trying to decide what to do, the world does not offer much hope. After the harsh reality of a trip to a Planned Parenthood clinic, Janice Moody bravely carried her son to term and placed him for…
  • Sermon Jam: “Our God is a Fountain of Life, Light, and Love”

    Dan Cruver
    19 Apr 2015 | 9:38 am
    This sermon jam is a 3-minute excerpt from a sermon I preached a few years ago at a Covenant Care Services‘ event. My sermon was on Psalm 36:7-9. You’ll find those verses below the sermon jam video. “How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings. 8 They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights. 9 For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.” —Psalm 36:7-9, ESV
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    AMERICAN INDIAN ADOPTEES

  • Is culture how you think?

    4 May 2015 | 2:55 am
    By Trace HentzSo much about adoption is complicated for the adoptee.  If you are like me, you may feel torn between who you think you are, who you are inside, versus how you were raised and who raised you.I am an adoptee as readers know. What a great many adoptees have told me is they feel they lost culture when not raised in their tribe, losing parents, grandparents and the language. Even typing those words hurts. Loss is loss. Loss hurts.This has bothered me. I think that the loss is true yet culture is not completely lost.How? You still have the blood and that is built-in culture.
  • National Indian Child Welfare Association Applauds Robust Participation in ICWA Hearings

    30 Apr 2015 | 6:17 pm
    Apr 29, 2015  LINK  Diverse Native Turnout Demonstrates Widespread Support for Proposed Regulations PORTLAND, Ore., April 29, 2015 /PRNewswire-USNewswire/ -- Citing strong participation at each hearing hosted by the Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) in Portland, Oregon, last week and overwhelming feedback from constituents, the executive director of the National Indian Child Welfare Association, today offered continued support for proposed regulations that will strengthen Indian Child Welfare Act (ICWA) protections for children. "The first week of hearings and consultations…
  • State issues emergency rules to ease adoption for Alaska Natives

    16 Apr 2015 | 8:30 am
    Alaska News | Alex DeMarban | April 15, 2015  SOURCE Following pressure from several Alaska Native groups, the Walker administration has issued an emergency regulation designed to ease burdens on Alaska Natives hoping to adopt Native children. The regulation, issued Wednesday, comes in response to concerns that current state requirements pose barriers to Native families seeking to adopt, particularly those in remote settings with limited access to state courts.Julie Kitka, president of the Alaska Federation of Natives, applauded Walker’s willingness to listen and dig into…
  • #ASimplePieceOfPaper: NY STATE Bill of Adoptee Rights

    16 Apr 2015 | 2:55 am
    By Trace Hentz (who still doesn't have a simple piece of paper called her original birth certificate)I have been researching adoption for 10+ years as a journalist and started my own search for my identity at age 22 - a very long time ago (as an adoptee).Can anyone tell me why it has taken years and years for any progress on open adoption files and letting an adoptee have their original birth certificate and the name of their parent(s)??We have to start somewhere. Read this:…
  • Bill aims to keep American Indian children with families

    15 Apr 2015 | 4:48 am
    Archive Photo LINCOLN, NE — While applying for her driver's license at age 16, Karen Hardenbrook saw her birth certificate and learned what her adoptive parents from Broken Bow never told her: she was born in Winnebago and her mother was a member of the Omaha Tribe of Nebraska. As a baby, the state removed her from her biological grandmother's crowded home on the reservation. Today Hardenbrook, 57, lives on the Omaha Reservation in Walthill. She's an enrolled member but at times still feels like an outsider. "I had a wonderful, beautiful (adoptive) home. I couldn't have asked for anything…
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    Infant Adoption Guide

  • Book Give-Away! Encouragement for the Adoption and Parenting Journey

    Tim Elder
    4 May 2015 | 10:00 am
    Have you heard? There is a brand new adoption book – and not just any adoption book. This one is unlike any other. Encouragement for the Adoption and Parenting Journey – 52 Devotions and a Journal by Rachel Garlinghouse & Madeleine Melcher. Rachel Garlinghouse and Madeleine Melcher (adoptee) are both book authors, mothers through adoption, […]
  • IAG033: Encouragement for the Adoption & Parenting Journey with Rachel Garlinghouse & Madeleine Melcher

    Tim Elder
    23 Apr 2015 | 3:05 pm
    Hope, inspiration, encouragement, endurance, patience, reassurance. These are some of what we need as hopeful adoptive parents trying to build our family through adoption. The journey can be overwhelming. It can (and usually does) test our faith and hope as we try to become parents. The journey does not end once you’ve adopted – it has […]
  • IAG 032: Adoption Coaching with Gayle Swift of Gift Family Services

    Tim Elder
    19 Mar 2015 | 8:58 am
    “If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.”  In domestic adoption, there are so many paths to parenthood which can have you overwhelmed and unsure how to start. Having an adoption coach who’s survived what you […]
  • IAG 031: Transracial adoption with Rachel Garlinghouse

    Tim Elder
    4 Mar 2015 | 8:31 am
    Have thought about or considered adopting a baby from a different race? Are you prepared? Transracial adoption can be an amazing journey that can still sometimes having you feel alone and unsure of what to do. This episode’s special guest is Rachel Garlinghouse, who is an adoptive mom of three. She and her husband have […]
  • 9 things you need when adopting from another state

    Tim Elder
    19 Feb 2015 | 3:21 pm
    When adopting a newborn from another state, it is extremely important to be prepared. You will likely have to stay in that state until the ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children) paperwork clears and you are allowed to legally bring your baby home. Every state has their own adoption laws, but you can […]
 
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    The Adoption Trail - 4 Generations

  • Eldercare: Caring for My Adoptive Mother

    Jill Methvin
    1 May 2015 | 6:46 am
    “She’s on Hospice.” That’s a telling statement. You don’t have to know much about Hospice to get an immediate feel for the mood. Death. Imminent. I don’t mind talking about my mother and the years that she has lived with us as her health declined. She has lived in our home on and off for […]
  • Adoption Loss and Suicide

    Jill Methvin
    2 Mar 2015 | 12:36 pm
    I’m sick of adoption loss. My husband and I went to the accountant to file our 2014 income tax. Since our son passed away last year and we are his next of kin, we are expected by the IRS to file his last return. I’m not sure why this hurts more than some of the […]
  • Prolife or Probirth

    Jill Methvin
    26 Feb 2015 | 1:16 pm
    I love the Lord and I’m definitely prolife. However, I’m insulted when confronted by some prolife/probirth members wanting me to pay them gratitude that I’m alive today, just because I’m adopted. There is a distinct difference between prolife members and probirth. Prolife members are interested in caring for the poor through the long haul. Probirth […]
  • Adoption and Education: What schools and teachers don’t understand

    Jill Methvin
    3 Feb 2015 | 11:54 am
    Some of the most traumatized children sitting inside classrooms are those children who have experienced the entire loss of their God given family, for whatever reason. Those children are either currently in the foster care system, an orphanage, or have been transferred to the care of an adoptive family. These children are at-risk and do […]
  • Wedding Anniversaries and Adoption

    Jill Methvin
    21 May 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary.  It’s been a struggle and hard work for both of us, but we have made it this far.  God willing, our marriage will last until death do us part. Initially when asked, the minister said no he did not want to marry us; he had good reason to say […]
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    America Adopts

  • Going Solo: Waiting For An Adoption Match As A Hopeful Single Parent

    Lawrence
    5 May 2015 | 5:07 am
     This guest post is by Jennifer Ruth, a waiting adoptive parent. Waiting is hard. There is no easy way around that. When you have made a plan and set your course, you want to get going already. You have considered how adoption will change your life and you are ready to begin creating the image of the life you have created. The process of waiting for a birthmother to choose you to parent their child leads to anxiety. Is my profile good enough? Am I good enough? Will a birthmother choose me? Will I say and do the right things to make a connection? Will I be a good parent? In observing…
  • Why I’m Fighting for Same-Sex Parenting Through Open Adoption

    Lawrence
    28 Apr 2015 | 6:06 am
    This guest post is by Trey Darnell, an adoptive father. It is hard to fathom that it has been two and a half years since we decided to become parents through an open adoption.  In February 2014, we were able to finalize our adoption of Harper in Washington County, Tennessee. You might wonder why I mention the county and state.  Living in Washington County and in the state of Tennessee, we are not provided any protections being a same-sex couple or Harper’s two dads. Today is an enormous and important day for my family and me. The Supreme Court of the United States will hear arguments…
  • Why I Chose Open Adoption For My Baby

    Lawrence
    21 Apr 2015 | 5:53 am
    This guest post is by Makena, a birthmother. As a high school student and one of a handful of birth mothers in Idaho with an open adoption, explaining my situation to friends and acquaintances is complicated. How many high school girls know what a birth mother is? Not enough, to be honest. For many people, open adoption is a scary concept because it’s new and a different type of adoption than they’re used to. So why did I choose to place my son in an open adoption? The real question is how could I not have placed him? If I were parenting him right now, this is how it would be: I would go…
  • 10 Emotions You Will Face While Waiting to Adopt—And How to Cope

    Lawrence
    14 Apr 2015 | 6:03 am
    This guest post is by Rachel Garlinghouse, an adoptive parent and author As Madeleine Melcher and I composed Encouragement for the Adoption and Parenting Journey: 52 Devotions and a Journal, we were taken back to our waiting days.  Those never-ending, relentless days. Between the two of us, we have waited six times (and counting) for “the call” that would tell us we were parents by adoption.Each adoption was different, but there was something that remained consistent: the emotions we faced.  1. Impatience It is so hard to wait for the phone call or e-mail that notified you that you are…
  • How Can I Love A Child Who Is Not My Own Flesh And Blood? The Answer Is Simple

    Lawrence
    7 Apr 2015 | 7:32 am
    This guest post is by Angela Boucher, an adoptive mother. It’s a question I’ve been asked many times — by my closest friends, by my mother and most importantly, by my son’s birthmother:  “How do you know you will love a child who is not your own flesh and blood?” For me, the answer is simple: My journey to motherhood may have been unimaginable, but the love I had for my son always existed! Let me explain: I was raised in a large Italian Catholic family. My mother was one of seven children and my father was one of five children. My parents instilled in…
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    Canada Adopts

  • What To Expect When You’re Waiting For An Adoption Match

    Lawrence
    30 Apr 2015 | 9:51 am
    This guest post is by Kristen, a waiting adoptive parent. I click on my email inbox Yet again it’s empty. Or, as is more often the case, spam. The type of spam that advertises sales from a website I may have clicked on once, or someone trying to sell me medications not even suited to my particular gender. I scowl, delete it all and distract myself with checking over our baby essentials list. I’ve fallen into a routine of checking my email no less than 10 times a day (okay, maybe more like every hour or so, but who’s counting?). I check our blog and Facebook page to see if anyone has…
  • Creating An Adoption Plan For Your Baby? 3 Questions To Ask Yourself First

    Lawrence
    23 Apr 2015 | 8:34 am
    If you’re unexpectedly pregnant and looking at your options, you may be considering adoption. But how much do you really know about it? For most women with an unplanned pregnancy, adoption means “giving up” your baby and never seeing him again. “I could never do that,” they’ll say. The good news is, you don’t have to. Adoption has changed. Today, in open adoption, women don’t “give up” their baby. They make a plan — one that is tailored to their individual needs and created out of love for their child. As an expectant…
  • 21 Things To Write About In Your Adoption Profile When You Have No Idea What To Write

    Lawrence
    16 Apr 2015 | 11:48 am
    Imagine that the only thing keeping you from becoming a parent is writing your adoption profile. Sounds pretty simple. Just sit down and start writing it, right? But that’s when things get complicated. For starters, you don’t know anything about the expectant mother you’re writing to — who she is or what she’s looking for. You could make assumptions and write about what you think she’s looking for. But that won’t get you very far. You could be right. But more often than not, you’ll likely be wrong. So what do you do? The only thing you can do:…
  • An Expectant Mother Has Chosen You To Adopt Her Baby. Now What?

    Lawrence
    9 Apr 2015 | 12:28 pm
      Being chosen by an expectant mother to adopt her baby is an unforgettable event. Once it happens, it’s hard to think about anything else. You replay the moment in your mind again and again (and again!). You fixate on the delivery date until it’s permanently ingrained in your head. And you start making plans for the future. But no sooner do you think “I can’t believe this is happening. I’m finally going to be a parent!” than a new set of fears rears its head: “What if I’m just dreaming? What happens if the match doesn’t work…
  • Why Won’t Alberta Let Us Post Our Adoption Profile Online?

    Lawrence
    2 Apr 2015 | 7:16 am
    This guest post is by Valerie Bielenda, a hopeful adoptive parent. My husband and I are registered through a private agency here in Alberta and we’ve been on the wait list for almost three years now. I sigh loudly every time I think about it. We tried naturally to build our family for a long time too, but it just wasn’t meant to be for us. Realistically we could have had a 4- 5 year-old by now.  When we first registered at our adoption agency, the average wait time was two years because they had quite a few placements in 2012-2013. Then in 2014 it turned out to be a really quiet year. A…
 
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    Great Wall, Pandas, and Mcdonald's

  • 6 by 60!

    Sean Fahey
    5 May 2015 | 10:32 am
    It was funny.  After the last adoption, I joked with Angie about 5  by 50.  Now, it looks like that is happening.  I wonder if I should joke about 6 by 60.  Of course, the cut off is both parents can not be over 50 when adopting.  I don't know.  I just hope people don't tell her we can't do it.  She's liable to adopt another.
  • 30 days and Counting!

    Sean Fahey
    5 May 2015 | 9:45 am
    Angie got the Visa applications out yesterday.  They will be going to a courier.  That person will had deliver it to the Chinese Consulate.  At this time, they will review that application and issue the Visa's.  Then, they courier will go back and pick it up.  Finally, they will return the package to us.  All of this requires money.  They courier needs to get paid for their service.  China has an application/Visa fee.  Fed-Ex will expect their money.  If will lived in or knew someone who live near the consulate, we could have them deliver and…
  • My Father

    Sean Fahey
    4 May 2015 | 10:02 am
    This weekend, I was listening to music while doing things around the house.  KC and the Sunshine Band's "Please Don't Go" came on.  I started to reminisce.  The first time I can remember hearing that song was in Oceanside, CA when I was a kid.  Our father would take us to a Vietnamese restaurant.  We would order spring rolls and he would play that song.  As I grew, I lost touch with the song as well as my father.  We would see him intermittently, but we'd also go months without seeing him.  As I hit adulthood and CD's came out, I started to search for…
  • Visa, Not Mastercard

    Sean Fahey
    4 May 2015 | 4:22 am
    Angie has been busy plugging away at our Visa.  I joke with her and say why don't we use Mastercard.  To go to China, you have to apply and pay for a Visa.  It lets China know why you want to come into the country, the dates, and who is coming.  They require pictures and background information.  For our daughter, we have to provide a lot of extra information.  They want to see her passport, her Chinese passport, adoption records and re adoption information if it exists.  When you fill out the forms, you have to follow all instructions or they will reject it.
  • Great Deals exist Online, but do the Research

    Sean Fahey
    2 May 2015 | 12:00 pm
    Last night, I was looking at Facebook.  I guess our posting inspired some advertising for hotels in Harbin through Trip Adviser.  I clicked on it.  I found the place they want to book for us.  It is around $140 a night.  Then I saw some that were listed at $40 a night.  When I stared looking at them, I found that you are just paying for a bed and a roof over your head.  They did not look that clean.  Make sure you read what other travelers say before booking. I did look up the Youth Hostel in Guangzhou.  Their prices were $20 - $30 a night.
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