Adoption

  • Most Topular Stories

  • 7 Things Search and Reunion Taught Me About My Adopted Mom

    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth
    20 May 2015 | 8:14 pm
    By Laura Marie Scoggins When I received my original birth certificate from Ohio, one of the first things I did was show it to my adopted mom. We ended up having one of the best conversations about my adoption that we’ve ever had in my entire life. It was a healing conversation. It was like the whole thing coming full circle. The conversation made me realize a few things. 1. My adopted mom has always supported me no matter what. My adopted mom and I have always had a very difficult... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question

    Lavender Luz
    Lori Holden
    16 May 2015 | 8:17 pm
    Dear Needs Help in Indiana, It must feel like walking on eggshells for an adoptee to live in an Either/Or world. If you even think about your birth mom, some will judge you as disloyal to the woman who is raising you.  Because, y’know, there is room for only one set of “real” parents in … Continue reading Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question → The post Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • My Particular Shade of Gray

    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth
    25 May 2015 | 8:14 am
    By Lori Holden Aging is a humbling experience. (I see teens and twenty-somethings who primp and angst about their appearance and want to yell at them, DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW GOOD YOU LOOK WITHOUT EVEN TRYING?) First it was spider veins showing up on my thighs. Then crow’s feet near my eyes. I’m emotionally bracing myself in case … Continue reading My Particular Shade of Gray → The post My Particular Shade of Gray appeared first on Lavender Luz. Read at the Source: : Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • How am I supposed to teach my daughter to love her body when I hate mine?

    Kimchi Mamas
    Kimchi
    13 May 2015 | 10:55 am
    My daughter is this smart, funny, angry, beautiful ‘tween. Too young to be an adult and too old to be a child. She plays soccer and games online. She is as comfortable alone in her room reading her latest manga book as she is giggling with her gaggle of gal pals in the living room. But as most moms know...
  • 女の子にスクール水着を着てもらい

    風俗エクスカリバー
    ekitika
    6 May 2015 | 8:45 pm
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    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth

  • My Particular Shade of Gray

    25 May 2015 | 8:14 am
    By Lori Holden Aging is a humbling experience. (I see teens and twenty-somethings who primp and angst about their appearance and want to yell at them, DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW GOOD YOU LOOK WITHOUT EVEN TRYING?) First it was spider veins showing up on my thighs. Then crow’s feet near my eyes. I’m emotionally bracing myself in case … Continue reading My Particular Shade of Gray → The post My Particular Shade of Gray appeared first on Lavender Luz. Read at the Source: : Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Guilt, Coercion, Threats – A New Mom Changes Her Mind – SOS In Action

    21 May 2015 | 8:14 pm
    By AstridBeeMom As some of you may know, we are in the process of legitimizing our grassroots organization called Saving Our Sisters (SOS). The goal of SOS is to help vulnerable women avoid adoption relinquishment. Over the past couple of years the organization’s brain child and front-runner, Lynn Johansenn, has helped dozens of women, that had decided to utilize adoption, to keep their babies and successfully parent. SOS offers whatever support is needed to achieve this. Sometimes the... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • 7 Things Search and Reunion Taught Me About My Adopted Mom

    20 May 2015 | 8:14 pm
    By Laura Marie Scoggins When I received my original birth certificate from Ohio, one of the first things I did was show it to my adopted mom. We ended up having one of the best conversations about my adoption that we’ve ever had in my entire life. It was a healing conversation. It was like the whole thing coming full circle. The conversation made me realize a few things. 1. My adopted mom has always supported me no matter what. My adopted mom and I have always had a very difficult... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • It Was Meant To Be – Using Religion to Justify Adoption

    18 May 2015 | 8:15 pm
    By AstridBeeMom In the adoption community, from birthmoms, adoptive parents, and even the occasional adoptee I often hear statements about adoption being the “destiny” for the adopted child. Some of these statements include, but, of course, are not limited to: “I knew from the first time I met them (adoptive parents) they were meant to be -insert child’s name here- mom and dad.” “It was God’s plan for my child to be adopted by -insert adoptive parents names here.” “My mom and dad... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know…
  • Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question

    17 May 2015 | 8:14 am
    By Lori Holden Dear Needs Help in Indiana, It must be exhausting for an adoptee to live in an Either/Or world. If you even think about your birth mom, some will judge you as disloyal to the woman who is raising you. Because, y’know, there is room for only one set of “real” parents in Either/Or world. About … Continue reading Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question → The post Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question appeared first on Lavender Luz. Read at the Source: : Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
 
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    Kimchi Mamas

  • How am I supposed to teach my daughter to love her body when I hate mine?

    Kimchi
    13 May 2015 | 10:55 am
    My daughter is this smart, funny, angry, beautiful ‘tween. Too young to be an adult and too old to be a child. She plays soccer and games online. She is as comfortable alone in her room reading her latest manga book as she is giggling with her gaggle of gal pals in the living room. But as most moms know...
  • The Sea Women

    Kimchi
    30 Mar 2015 | 8:40 pm
    I have never been to Cheju-Do, but am looking forward to finally seeing "Korea's Hawaii" this summer when my family goes. It has been a longtime dream to bring my mixed race children to see where their mother comes from. I had almost given up on dragging my reluctant teens, when one of them actually expressed interest in going. I...
  • I am Home!

    Kimchi
    1 Mar 2015 | 12:06 pm
    We often get stuck in the past. We pay a high price when we do. When we dwell too long in negativity that we have experienced, we often lose out on many great possibilities. Difficulties in our lives, especially those that seem to occur and re-occur, are usually the road map to our own hero’s journey. If we spend too...
  • RIP Paul J. Kim

    Kimchi
    27 Oct 2014 | 3:02 pm
    Let us take a moment to keep in mind the family of Rutgers student, Paul J. Kim. IAmKoream.com is reporting Paul's body was recovered earlier this month from the Hudson River. His death has been ruled a suicide. Though I did not personally know Paul, I do know that suicide is a real problem in the Korean/Korean American population. Too...
  • Mystery Arms

    Kimchi
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:57 pm
    The BBC is reporting a 50 year dinosaur mystery has finally been solved . . . And it's weird! Korean and British researchers have come up with what appears to be one of the WEIRDEST dinosaurs ever reconstructed. Part of the mystery stemmed from the HUGE, long arms of this bad "...the long forearms with giant claws may have been...
 
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    Lavender Luz

  • My Particular Shade of Gray

    Lori Holden
    25 May 2015 | 4:00 am
    Aging is a humbling experience. (I see teens and twenty-somethings who primp and angst about their appearance and want to yell at them, DON’T YOU REALIZE HOW GOOD YOU LOOK WITHOUT EVEN TRYING?) First it was spider veins showing up on my thighs.  Then crow’s feet near my eyes. I’m emotionally bracing myself in case … Continue reading My Particular Shade of Gray → The post My Particular Shade of Gray appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question

    Lori Holden
    16 May 2015 | 8:17 pm
    Dear Needs Help in Indiana, It must feel like walking on eggshells for an adoptee to live in an Either/Or world. If you even think about your birth mom, some will judge you as disloyal to the woman who is raising you.  Because, y’know, there is room for only one set of “real” parents in … Continue reading Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question → The post Dear Abby Misses the Mark on Adoption Question appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Crazy 8

    Lori Holden
    11 May 2015 | 5:20 am
    Hi.       I’m this blog.      I’m 8 years old today.     Here is my life story so far. I was born a poor, blogspot template and I was originally known as WeeblesWobblog. My midwives hailed from the ALI community (Adoption / Loss/ Infertility), prompting my birth and nourishing me in my … Continue reading Crazy 8 → The post Crazy 8 appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Math in Nature

    Lori Holden
    4 May 2015 | 3:30 am
    Today’s Post Brought to You by the Number 5 and my Hoya Plant I’m fascinated by math in nature. I’m drawn to patterns of all sorts — especially fractals — and I often find myself subconsciously subitizing as I walk along the creek path, checking for interesting formations I observe on plants, animals, rocks, clouds, … Continue reading Math in Nature → The post Math in Nature appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Paperback Writer

    Lori Holden
    27 Apr 2015 | 4:40 am
    Brief announcement After two years available only in hardcover and e-book formats, my publisher, Rowman & Littlefield, is releasing The Open-Hearted Way to Open Adoption in paperback in a few weeks. This means two things. First, the book will be available at a paperback price — woo-hoo! If you pre-order today, Amazon will make sure … Continue reading Paperback Writer → The post Paperback Writer appeared first on Lavender Luz.
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    A Birth Project

  • I’m performing at Stanford June 5th – Free! Come through!

    Lisa Marie
    14 May 2015 | 9:48 am
    Thrilled I’m joining all of these amazing artists Friday evening June 5th to perform an excerpt of “Ungrateful Daughter” for the “Soul Wounds: Trauma and Healing Across Generations” conference at Stanford University. I will be there for the whole conference, I hope you will come, and say hello at the reception after the performance. Filed under: Performance Tagged: adoptee, adopting a black child, adoption events, black adoptee, lisa marie rollins, Transracial Adoption
  • Feb 19th New Show in progress Performance! Come!

    Lisa Marie
    6 Feb 2015 | 10:44 am
    Come check out a 30 minute excerpt of my newest solo show in progress on Feb 19th at The Bside Barn in Oakland, CA. This new show continues some of the themes begun in “Ungrateful Daughter” around adoption, loss, longing, grief and finding your worth as a woman. I’ll be performing along side two other amazing solo performers for a full night of theater.   Description of the show: Side Chick: This ain’t no Harlequin Romance – written & performed by Lisa Marie Rollins Lisa Marie didn’t plan on being a mistress, but somehow here she is, in a hotel in Tahoe…
  • Family Consultations

    Lisa Marie
    28 Jan 2015 | 3:40 pm
    I’ve been getting the usual onslaught of emails from folks who are in need of support or who are starting to come to grips with the commitment they have made adopting a child of color. Are you a potential or parenting adoptive parent and need some support developing strategies for creating your community to reflect your family? Have you been thinking about moving your family to a more diverse city? a different school? Are you concerned with your TRA’s life being an isolated one? I want to remind folks that I offer individual family skype or in person consultations. 1-3 sessions,…
  • Feb 19th new show and TheRoot.com article

    Lisa Marie
    28 Jan 2015 | 2:05 pm
    For those of you who’ve been waiting for a new solo show from me – yeeee! I’m SO excited to share a brand new piece on February 19th at The BARN in West Oakland. It is an exerpt from my newest solo show in progress, “Side Chick: This ain’t no Harlequin Romance”. This new theatrical piece explore ideas around black womanhood, dating, adoption (of course), race and finding your worth. I can’t wait to share it. Buy your tickets now!  also – check it out – I’m on the front page of TheRoot.com today! yeee! oh adoption. Filed under:…
  • Hey! I’m a Featured Commentator on Huffington Post Live!

    Lisa Marie
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:42 pm
    Remember that one time I was on HuffPostLive? (check out the full segment by clicking!) Check me out on Marc Lamont Hill’s show discussing strategies for white families who are parenting children of color. Filed under: In the News Tagged: adoptee, adopting a black child, Adoption, adult adoptees, African adoptee, black adoptee, HuffPostLive, lisa marie rollins, Mixed Race, multiracial
 
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    Third Mom

  • A plea for adoptee medical history

    Margie Perscheid
    5 May 2015 | 7:00 am
    A lovely young friend of mine – adoptee from Korea, mother, wife, dedicated social worker and friend to many – passed away over the weekend. She was just past 40, far too young to leave this life. What took her was cancer, as is the case with many, diagnosed too late to give her more than a reprieve from the worst. She fought it like a Trojan and lived every last minute she reclaimed to the very fullest. What an inspiration she was and always will be! I know the cancer that took my friend. It took my aunt far too young as well. Her children are at risk, too, but knowing my aunt's history…
  • Clarification

    Margie Perscheid
    22 Feb 2015 | 10:41 am
    I wrote a post last week following an online debacle not of my making, but which drew me in anyway and pretty much blew up my adoption world. Although I don't shy away from confrontation, the kind of confrontation I like focuses on issues, not personalities and factions, but that approach to trying to extricate myself from this situation didn't serve me well. By the time it had ended, I had lost two acquaintances I don't regret losing and a friend I do. It is, unfortunately, what it is.Although I got some kind comments immediately after publishing the post, I also got an immediate message…
  • When a door closes

    Margie Perscheid
    17 Feb 2015 | 10:18 am
    Last week was a rough one on my adoptionland. As I always do when this happens, I stepped back, circled the wagons and spent some time trying to re-center myself by focusing on my family. My kids live far away now, so I caught up with them by phone and text. I also checked their Facebook pages to see what fun they’ve been up to. Neither are avid Facebookers, but both had a few new photos posted, some theirs and some posted by friends. I was struck, as I’ve been struck before, by the demographics of their friends, the majority of whom are non-adopted Asians of various ethnicities, people…
  • Honor adoptees by honoring their privacy

    Margie Perscheid
    17 Dec 2014 | 4:51 am
    There has been a lot of talk this week in my online circles around a post by a popular adoptive parent blogger about her kids and the holidays - "parenting kids who sabotage big days," as she puts it.Kids and sabotage are words I really don't like hearing in the same sentence. And although I am sure there are legions of Jen Hatmaker supporters who are ready to carry her banner and dismiss anyone who disagrees, I say that much of the behavior Ms. Hatmaker describes is a result of parental behaviors that focus far more on their own agendas and not early as much as they should on what kids…
  • Status Hearing in the Kim Hyunsu Murder Case

    Margie Perscheid
    8 Dec 2014 | 11:52 am
    I attended a status hearing that was held today in Montgomery County Circuit Court in the case of Brian Patrick O’Callaghan, the Damascus, MD man charged with the murder of little Kim Hyunsu, whom O’Callaghan and his wife adopted in February of 2014.The hearing took place in the courtroom of Judge John W. Debelius, III. The defendant, Brian Patrick O’Callaghan, was present, along with his attorneys, Steven J. McCool and Julia M. Fisher of the law firm of Mallon & McCool. Two prosecutors represented the State of Maryland, who from what I was able to hear during the…
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    Writing My Wrongs

  • Grace, Frankie & Adoption

    Suz
    25 May 2015 | 5:26 pm
    Have you watched Grace and Frankie? Despite the conflicting reviews, poor rating by Rotten Tomatoes, I am gonna say I like it. The cast is stellar and the writing amuses me.  I am most drawn to Lily Tomlin character for her quirky style and attitude towards life. Kudos to Netflix for tackling adoption search dialogue with some degree of respect. I cannot say I was entirely surprised (though for a few episodes I assumed Lily’s African American son was a result of some hippie fling in her youth). The scene between the adopted siblings was done well, at least in my non adoptee opinion. I…
  • Doing the Math

    Suz
    24 May 2015 | 3:44 pm
    My late 20’s adoptee Facebook friend posted pictures of her with her first family. There were several young children/siblings along with her natural mom. . My first thought was “WOW, her mom is old to still be having children”. My second thought was “duh!”. Took me a second to realize I had my math wrong. The mom was young when she had friend. She is a societally acceptable age now for her younger children. Made me realize if there was a picture of me with my soon to be 30 year old daughter and my 12 year old son others would think the same. Also made me realize…
  • Of Woman Born

    Suz
    23 May 2015 | 6:11 pm
    Many of the natural mothers I know have complicated relationships with their own mothers. Addd adoption loss to it and we can also have complicated relationships with our children, both those surrendered and parented. I was fortunate early in my sons younger years to have a therapist that brought this to my attention. It is a topic I have worked on for many years. Healing my mother wound. I recently began re-reading Adrienne Rich’s Of Woman Born. I encourage all to read it. I am a HUGE fan of Rich and have been since I was in my freshman year of college studying English and Creative…
  • Happy 29th Birthday!

    Suz
    16 May 2015 | 8:06 am
    Today is her 29th birthday. 29. I find it hard to believe yet I also struggle with the fact my second child will soon be 18. Kids do grow up so fast. I hope she has a happy day with friends and family she loves. It has been a few years since I did anything for her birthday (donations, dedications, gifts to her). I do not plan to do anything today. That is a good thing. The days of spending my day in bed, planting trees, holding a snot rag and grasping for walls have passed. Today is much like Mother’s Day was a few days back. The emotional intensity over the loss of her and lack of…
  • CT Putative Fathers

    Suz
    12 May 2015 | 7:36 am
    My nephew would like to register with State of Connecticut Putative Father’s registry. He cannot do so unless his ex girlfriend (expectant mother to his firsth child) agrees and signs the registry form as well. Is there really a problem with random men stepping up to claim babies that are not theirs? How effective are such registries in protecting father’s rights  if in order for fathers to register for their rights they must get permission from the mother to exercise those rights? Particularly if the relationship is strained. Now sourcing cost effective (cough) legal aid for my…
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    Anne Webber Writing

  • “Just The Way You Are”

    anne
    10 May 2015 | 10:57 pm
    I heard this song while I was playing with my two girls the other day and started singing along with it to them and then started to really pay attention to the words I was singing to them and got a little teary eyed, thinking and hoping that they both know how much I love them just the way they are and how much I would not change them cause they are amazing just the way they are. Then I thought, shouldn’t I feel that way about myself too.  Shouldn’t I love myself and not want to change myself for anyone etc cause I’m amazing just the way I am. I found myself remembering…
  • Happiness…

    anne
    10 May 2015 | 9:14 pm
    If I could give you, just one thing, If I could show you how my heart sings… If only you knew how I wake each day, to the beautiful, brilliant suns rays If only I could express that love and those feelings that press upon my chest That gives me hope, that give me life, and help me to for another day be able to cope If only I could show you all the happiness and all the love that comes to me from up above Spoon it all out through your lips so it would fill your waiting mouth So you could feel it spill out your mouth and drip down your chin causing you to grin The post Happiness……
  • A Mother’s Kiss

    anne
    10 May 2015 | 9:10 pm
    When both my daughters were born, My heart was so full Of joy and pain As I looked into Their beautiful blue eyes I saw my blue eyes, A piece of heaven And myself reflected there Such a beautiful gift God gave me those days, Holding my daughters, After giving birth Close to my heart So they would know How my heart beat Just for them And how my heart Would belong To them Now and for always Such precious time I spent with my girls So full of love, Light and happiness Then came the pain Heartbreaking & exquisite When that time came That dreaded moment When I stood, With them in my arms,…
  • The Other Mother

    anne
    10 May 2015 | 9:07 pm
    When you roll over, sit up, take your first steps… I won’t be there, But I’ll be cheering you on through my thoughts and my prayers. Every year when you have a birthday, I won’t be there, but I’ll be thinking of you, wondering what you’re growing up to be. You will be gone from my sight with your mother and father, but never forgotten or gone from my heart. Whenever you’re nervous and afraid, facing hard times and decisions. Just remember I’m there with you in spirit always cheering you on. When your mom tells you she loves you, remember…
  • Butterfly of My Soul 

    anne
    30 Apr 2015 | 4:45 pm
    As I drove home the other day, I saw a butterfly. A symbol of happiness, hope and love, So beautiful and so very unique.   As I watched it flutter by me, I thought of all the butterfly poems. I wondered why so many people Could connect to butterflies.   Then I thought of my two daughters, I’ve placed for adoption. I wondered, are they seeing The same butterfly or will they?   So, I blew a kiss to the butterfly, In hopes that the butterfly would fly By my daughters, Land gently on their noses, And pass on my loving kiss.   Hoping they would feel of my love Through the…
 
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    [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

  • Mothers take no pride in giving up their babies

    22 May 2015 | 7:29 am
    Jane"Justine, I am an adoptee (Nov, 1983). I am looking for my birth family so I may not only thank them, but to somehow express my deepest admiration and pride for their completely selfish act" wrote Lacy in response to a comment by a natural mother on a post we wrote about Texas-based Gladney Center for Adoption. After suppressing a scream, I continued reading:"I've always held a special place in my heart not only for my birth parents, but [for] every single birth mom and dad out there and had never, not even for a moment, doubted their love for me. There are very few people in this world…
  • Does it matter who your father is?

    19 May 2015 | 5:46 am
    JaneWhen Lorena Thompson Madrone of Oceanside, Oregon decided to have a baby, it was strictly a DIY affair. Becase she was concerned about having to "legally share" the child with the biological father, Lorena and her partner, Karah Gretchen Madrone, came up with a lamebrain scheme to obscure the father's identity by having two sperm donors. Of course one of two gives the child pretty decent odds of figuring which man had the cojones.As far as avoiding legal issues around paternity, the scheme wouldn't have worked anyway. While it may have kept true dad at bay, if Lorena had applied for…
  • When is the right time to contact your natural parent?

    12 May 2015 | 9:28 am
    JaneWhen is the right time to contact a natural parent or a lost child?  The simple answer is never, and now. When my surrendered daughter Rebecca and I connected, my husband and I were preparing for my oldest raised daughter's wedding to be held in less than a month in Washington DC, thousands of miles from my home in Oregon. I was involved in a law suit over my employment. I had a second daughter at home and a third in college.  In short, I was busy and low on funds. I didn't need the upheaval in my life that her contact would bring. Once we connected, though, everything moved…
  • It's Mother's Day again. 'Birth' Mother's Day too.

    7 May 2015 | 3:54 pm
    Mother's Day card from my daughterHere it comes again, Mother's Day, impossible to miss because of the incessant ads that pop up everywhere, reminding us of our own fractured motherhood. I've been through the gamut of emotions about Mother's Day, beginning when I did not know where my daughter was, and my own mother did not even know my daughter existed, to those years after reunion when I spent the week preceding the big day hoping she would remember me in some small way. She often did not. Oh heavy was my heart! While I was feeling sorry for myself, I always imagined a big celebration going…
  • Who can call herself a mother?

    4 May 2015 | 11:28 am
    Jane and Lorraine, daughter and mother“They call me ‘biological mother.’I hate those words. They make me sound like a baby machine, a conduit, without emotions. They tell me to forget and go out and make a new life.         I had a baby and I gave her away. But I am a mother.”Those words are from my memoir Birthmark, and are the most quoted language in the book. At the time of publication in 1979, the debate over what to call women who relinquished children was just beginning. Before that, we were “natural mothers.”But that term was thought to be offensive to…
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    The Declassified Adoptee

  • Born. Adopted. Sealed. Deported: the Fight for Equality for Adopted People

    Amanda
    21 May 2015 | 5:55 am
    "Born. Adopted. Sealed. Denied!" was the hallmark chant of the Adoptee Rights Demonstration during my years attending and co-planning the demonstration as the now-former Vice President of the Adoptee Rights Coalition. The demonstration and its simple four-word message aimed to educate  legislators attending the annual National Conference of State Legislatures regarding a near 90-year-old legal practice that seals the original birth certificates of adopted people in all but 2 states and treats adopted people unfairly when attempting to access this certificate in all but 6 states. When we…
  • Fifty Shades of Gross: a Feminist Confrontation of the Story's Adoption and Foster Care Themes

    Amanda
    16 Feb 2015 | 11:24 am
    I read the Fifty Shades of Grey books at the suggestion of my sister-in-law who has dual degrees in communications and English and is a popular books maven of sorts. She has the uncanny ability to predict whenever any bit of media will become relevant in pop culture. If you want to look like a pop culture genius at your book club, you ask her for a title to recommend to the group. If you want to know what basically unknown lit is going to explode into everyday conversations tomorrow, she can tell you that too. Her suggestion regarding Fifty Shades fell into the latter category."I'll apologize…
  • Happy Reunionversary: 9 Things I've Learned in 5 Years of Reunion

    Amanda
    4 Jan 2015 | 9:31 pm
    My necklace of our matching pair.I had already known my original mother's name for several months before we reunited. As is the practice in my birth state, most adoptees can have their original birth certificates and know their mother's name using the established government channel. We are forbidden to reach out on our own as the civil and criminal legal consequences of doing so are thoroughly explained and signed off on before our records are unsealed. My mother, my first mother, had given me permission to see my original birth certificate. I received a copy of her handwritten…
  • VIDEO National Adoption Month? The Lost Daughters #flipthescript

    Amanda
    7 Nov 2014 | 9:33 am
    Headed by @mothermade, Lost Daughters is flipping the script with this awesome round table style video by Bryan Tucker. Click here for the full length version and remember to share with the tags #NationalAdoptionMonth and #flipthescript.Being grateful for my adoptive family & questioning the ethics of modern adoption practices are not mutually exclusive. #FliptheScript #NAM— Mila (@yoonsblur) November 3, 2014
  • PA, Adoptee Rights, and an Amended Bill--What now?

    Amanda
    17 Sep 2014 | 5:07 pm
    Photo (c) Julie StrombergOn Tuesday, September 16, 2014, the Pennsylvania Senate Aging and Youth Committee held a voting hearing for HB 162.  As drafted, HB 162 would restore the right of PA-born adult adoptees, nineteen years or older, to access a copy of their original birth certificate (OBC) with the same regard under the law enjoyed by every other PA-born citizen.When a child is adopted in the U.S., a amended birth record replaces their OBC that lists their adoptive parents as their biological parents.  In 48 states, the OBC is sealed.  Every single state has a law on the…
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    One Thankful Mom | Lisa Qualls

  • Comfort and Tater Tots

    Lisa Qualls
    27 May 2015 | 7:33 am
    Today marks five months since the morning we set off for Montana, a morning that ended in sorrow. A heavy weight of sadness has been growing in my heart since yesterday. Last night I found myself thinking that five months ago, as we prepared and packed for our trip, we had no idea how our […]
  • How Can We Ever Thank You?

    Lisa Qualls
    21 May 2015 | 11:48 am
    Words don’t seem adequate when it comes to thanking you, but wrapped up in these words are love and gratitude beyond measure. Russ and I want to thank you from the very depths of our hearts. You have prayed for us, cried with us, fed us, sent us gifts of comfort and cheer, and given […]
  • Eight Years Ago Today

    Lisa Qualls
    19 May 2015 | 10:47 am
    Eight years ago today, Russ and Kalkidan arrived at the Spokane airport after an arduous 50 hour trip home. They faced bad weather, canceled flights, and an unexpected overnight stay in Atlanta. She became our daughter in January 2007 and we met her in February 2007, but due to delays with her visa, she was […]
  • Boise and Back

    Lisa Qualls
    18 May 2015 | 7:30 am
    I had a post nearly ready to go this morning, but when I read it one last time, I decided it was too somber for Monday morning. This place gives me the space to reflect, to grieve through my words, but I want you to know that we are not mourning every moment of every […]
  • What Makes a Mom Pretty?

    Lisa Qualls
    13 May 2015 | 11:10 am
    “My Mom looks prettiest when she is smiling.” Eby actually wrote “smileing”, but it’s definitely the thought that counts, not the spelling. Eby made an “All About My Mom” gift at school for Mother’s Day – such a great gift. My friend’s daughter, who is in the same class, wrote that her mom looks prettiest when […]
 
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    Rage Against the Minivan

  • Wednesday's Child: Lucian

    27 May 2015 | 12:00 pm
    Every Wednesday I feature a child recently highlighted by a local Wednesday's Child newscast to share the stories of children from around the country who are waiting for a family. My hope is that this can broaden exposure for the children highlighted, but also serve as a reminder that these children represent thousands of children currently in the foster-care system. Perhaps their stories will inspire you to consider opening your home to a child needing a family. For more information and to learn about other waiting children, visit AdoptUsKids
  • What I want you to know about parenting a child with schizophrenia

    27 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by Anonymous.My daughter seems like an average child for the first few minutes you meet her. Then you can see that something is different. Maybe it's the way she talks about her three favorite topics without remembering that she's told the stories several times before. Maybe it's the way…
  • "It's Africa!"

    26 May 2015 | 12:15 pm
    I've been keeping a big secret from the kids that I've know about for a year now . . .This summer, we are going on a family safari with National Geographic to Tanzania.I've been waiting to tell the kids because, as kids are, they are impatient with time. If I told them too early, they would get frustrated and their excitement would wane.We are about a month out from the trip and I decided now was the perfect time to reveal the trip. I decided to make them clue cards that would slowly reveal our destination:I put one clue card in each of their new Osprey packs for the trip, with the hydration…
  • What I want you to know about being the spouse of a brain injury survivor

    25 May 2015 | 6:00 am
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by Brooke F. There are a million things I want you to know about being the spouse of a brain injury survivor. But, as I push my husband around town, I find myself wishing that I could shout from the rooftops (or put a sign on the back of his wheel chair) that things weren’t always…
  • What I want you to know about having a heart attack

    22 May 2015 | 6:30 pm
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by Kimby.I want you to know that I was 38 years old, a little overweight, but overall healthy. On Monday, June 16, I had what I thought was a gall bladder attack. Two weeks earlier, I was diagnosed as having gall stones, so I had already scheduled an appointment to have my gall bladder…
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    Lost Daughters

  • Ghost of Sangju: You Need To Read This Memoir

    Mila
    19 May 2015 | 4:00 am
    “...although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” -Helen Keller, Optimism“I realize now that this is a family reunion, and I am the reason for it. I’m awestruck by this circumstance, by how important every person in the world is, and by how many people even a baby can touch. How could I have ever thought that I was unimportant? That nobody missed me? Every person is so significant, sometimes even more so through their absence.” -Soojung Jo, Ghost of SangjuRead this memoir. You need to read this memoir. Ghost of Sangju: A Memoir of…
  • Anniversary

    Julie Stromberg
    18 May 2015 | 3:59 am
    In early April 1998, I found myself standing in front of the mailbox. I was sending in a registration form to the International Soundex Reunion Registry (ISRR). My search had officially started.Just a couple of weeks later, my husband and I were enjoying some post-work, homemade margaritas on a Friday night at our house. Happy hour had officially begun and the weekend lay ahead in all of its no-work-required glory. I was three quarters of the way through my second margarita when the phone rang. It was around 8 p.m. in the evening.The caller identified herself as a volunteer with ISRR,…
  • Adopted ID: A Haitian Adoptee Searches for Answers

    Mariette Williams
    7 May 2015 | 5:18 pm
    Judith Craig MorencyAbout a year ago, I received an email from Judith Craig Morency. She had read my story of finding my family on my blog, and she was excited to meet another Haitian adoptee. In her email, she explained that she also grew up in Canada. She was born in Cap-Haitien, the northern part of Haiti, and she was cared for in an orphanage in Port-au-Prince for four months before being adopted by a white Canadian family in Montreal. Judith and I share many similarities, including our desire to connect with our families. But Judith’s story is a little more complicated. When Judith…
  • Parallels Between Adoptees of Color & the Civil Rights Movement

    Angela Tucker
    3 May 2015 | 10:19 pm
    Receiving emails from strangers is an hourly experience for me since the Netflix debut of Closure. However, rare is the occasion that I receive a two page letter as an attachment and even rarer still that the letters states; "I am neither an adoptee, nor an adoptive parent..." Such was the case from the correspondence from Dr. Rachel Harding, a professor at the University of Colorado Denver, the daughter of civil rights leader, Vincent Harding and an incredible conversationalist. Although Rachel and I connected months ago via email, it was only recently that we we were able to meet…
  • Reunited, a book by investigative genealogist Pamela Slaton

    Karen Pickell
    26 Apr 2015 | 8:40 am
    Reunited: An Investigative Genealogist Unlocks Some of Life’s Greatest Family Mysteries did not turn out to be the book I thought it would be—and that’s a good thing.I remembered Pamela Slaton from the documentary DMC: My Adoption Journey, which follows Darryl McDaniels of the hip-hop group Run-DMC on his quest to find his birth mother. In the film, McDaniels hires Slaton to help locate his mother after he repeatedly hits walls trying to find her on his own. What I didn’t recall was that Slaton is herself an adoptee. She weaves her own search and reunion story throughout Reunited,…
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    Together for Adoption

  • Pushing for Change in Your Non-Profit? Here’s the Roadmap.

    Dan Cruver
    21 May 2015 | 11:51 am
    About Switch:#1 New York Times and Wall Street Journal bestsellerTranslated into 24 languagesLed by Susan Heath Hays. Susan has 20+ years experience working with non-profit organizations. Currently, she consults with Head Start programs across the country with a focus on improving leadership and engaging families. Susan is a Switch Certified Trainer specializing in change efforts within school systems and non-profits.“Any leader looking to create change in his organization need not look beyond this little book. It is packed with examples and hands-on tools that will get you moving…
  • Want to be a main session speaker at T4A 2015?

    Dan Cruver
    20 May 2015 | 7:33 am
    If you have a great idea about orphan prevention, family reunification, orphan care, foster care, domestic adoption, international adoption, or about the kind of adoption language we should use, here’s your opportunity for a chance to share your idea in a main session at this year’s Nov. 5-7 Together for Adoption Conference in Durham, NC.Learn more about this first-ever T4A opportunity. Want to be a main session speaker at @t4aCon 2015? Here’s your chance!Click To Tweet
  • Yep, here’s your opportunity to be a main session speaker this year.

    Dan Cruver
    19 May 2015 | 10:48 am
    Want to be a main session speaker this year?Do you have an amazing idea that you’d like to share in one of our main sessions?This year’s conference will be the second consecutive conference we’ve added quite a few 10-minute main session speakers. These 10-minute talks were so popular last year, we’re doing them again. But this year we are saving one of those 10-minute speaker spots for you. We know there are a lot of you out there with amazing and simple ideas of ways we can more effectively care for at-risk or fatherless children. We want to give someone who…
  • Simple. Jesus didn’t swing for home runs.

    Dan Cruver
    15 May 2015 | 2:40 pm
    Jesus didn’t try to change the world in a day. He didn’t even swing for home runs every time he stood at the plate to perform miracles. From what we can tell from the four New Testament Gospels, Jesus didn’t wake up every morning thinking, “What’s the big thing I can do today to solve the world’s biggest problem?”As far as the number of actual miracles of Jesus recorded in the four Gospels, we find just 37 of them. Just 37 miracles on record. If you consider the fact that Jesus’ public ministry spanned just 3 years, Jesus only performed a…
  • Orphan Justice Ministries: Invite Johnny to Host Your Weekend

    Dan Cruver
    14 May 2015 | 8:31 am
    Orphan Justice Weekend is designed to be a weekend that engages an entire church with the opportunity to get involved in orphan care at some level, opportunities to get involved immediately, educate your ministry team in biblically based and proven strategies for better orphan care, and inspiration from God’s Word.pre-weekend events:Johnny is willing to host two Skype meetings with the ministry team (orphan ministry team, justice team, or which ever is appropriate) to help them prepare for the weekend. He will talk through the plan and answer any questions. Your church orphan/justice…
 
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    AMERICAN INDIAN ADOPTEES

  • They came for the children

    27 May 2015 | 5:58 am
    [View the story ""They Came for the Children"" on Storify]
  • Manitoba Province readying to unseal adoption records next month

    23 May 2015 | 2:55 am
    When Darcy Truthwaite, a nurse in Fisher Branch, cold-called her birth family in Winnipeg, she didn’t plan on blurting out the reason. "I said to the man who answered, ‘I don’t want to interfere, but my search for my birth family has led me to you,’ " said Truthwaite. "He said, ‘You’re not interfering.’ That was the perfect thing to say." An hour later, Truthwaite found herself on the phone with three aunts, all asking her questions at the same time. An hour after that, her birth mother called from Alberta. The next week, they met in Medicine Hat. That scenario, hopefully as…
  • War of Words: ICWA Hearings Reignite Ancient Clash Over Indian Children, Part 1

    22 May 2015 | 4:38 am
    (Suzette Brewer photo) Melissa Clyde, Navajo Nation, attended the hearings in Albuquerque with her 18-month-old daughter, Nevaeh Asdzaan Atsa Woods. Suzette Brewer5/21/15John Echohawk had heard enough. On May 14, he had listened with growing irritation to lawyers representing the American Academy of Adoption Attorneys (AAAA) denigrate the recently published guidelines and proposed rule for the Indian Child Welfare Act in front of the very people who had authored them. As the founder of the Native American Rights Fund, Echohawk had flown to Tulsa to provide his comments in the…
  • Proposed ICWA guidelines, Tribal Nations respond

    20 May 2015 | 5:18 am
    Tribal Nation Comments on the Proposed ICWA Guidelines Posted on May 20, 2015 by Kate Fort We will update as more roll in–as currently available from Regulations.gov or sent directly to us at fort [at] law [dot] msu [dot] edu Cherokee Nation of OklahomaCherokee Nation Principal Chief ProclamationCherokee Nation Tribal Council ResolutionLetter from AAG, Chrissi Ross NimmoLetter from ICW ED, Nikki Baker Limore Prairie Band Potawatomi NationGrand Traverse Band of Ottawa and Chippewa IndiansSwinomish Indian Tribal CommunityHabematolel Pomo of Upper LakeMashantucket Pequot Tribal…
  • Last Day for Comments

    19 May 2015 | 5:58 am
    Law Professors Comment on Proposed ICWA Regulations Posted on May 19, 2015 by Kate Fort Here. Signed by 21 clinicians, professors, and deans representing more than 15 law schools. Times have certainly changed since the original Guidelines were issued. Administrative law and the power of the federal government have shifted considerably in the past forty years. In addition, there was no way the federal government could foresee the dramatically different applications of ICWA across the fifty states. These new regulations are necessary because without them the application of the…
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    Infant Adoption Guide

  • IAG 034: Coley Strickland of Birthmom Buds

    Tim Elder
    25 May 2015 | 7:51 am
    We have a very special guest on the show – Nicole “Coley” Strickland is here to share about her experience as a birthmom, and how she went on to co-found BirthmomBuds.com. Coley is the President and Executive Director of BirthMom Buds which provides support to birthmothers through its many programs including the buddy system, pregnant […]
  • The Dreams that You Dare to Dream Really Do Come True…. Don’t They? Part 1

    Tim Elder
    22 May 2015 | 6:37 am
    The following is a guest post by hopeful adoptive mom, Josie Sowers. She and her husband Scott are currently waiting to adopt. She shares her heart and her faith as they get closer to the day when their dream of becoming parents comes true. This is part 1 of 2 posts by Josie. Here you go… […]
  • Book Give-Away! Encouragement for the Adoption and Parenting Journey

    Tim Elder
    4 May 2015 | 10:00 am
    Have you heard? There is a brand new adoption book – and not just any adoption book. This one is unlike any other. Encouragement for the Adoption and Parenting Journey – 52 Devotions and a Journal by Rachel Garlinghouse & Madeleine Melcher. Rachel Garlinghouse and Madeleine Melcher (adoptee) are both book authors, mothers through adoption, […]
  • IAG033: Encouragement for the Adoption & Parenting Journey with Rachel Garlinghouse & Madeleine Melcher

    Tim Elder
    23 Apr 2015 | 3:05 pm
    Hope, inspiration, encouragement, endurance, patience, reassurance. These are some of what we need as hopeful adoptive parents trying to build our family through adoption. The journey can be overwhelming. It can (and usually does) test our faith and hope as we try to become parents. The journey does not end once you’ve adopted – it has […]
  • IAG 032: Adoption Coaching with Gayle Swift of Gift Family Services

    Tim Elder
    19 Mar 2015 | 8:58 am
    “If you have a dream, don’t just sit there. Gather courage to believe that you can succeed and leave no stone unturned to make it a reality.”  In domestic adoption, there are so many paths to parenthood which can have you overwhelmed and unsure how to start. Having an adoption coach who’s survived what you […]
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    All In The Family of Adoption

  • Dusten Brown in the news

    Robin
    21 May 2015 | 12:48 pm
    Once again, I have been brought to tears by the adoption story that has affected me like no other. Dusten Brown is in the news again giving his support to proposed changes in the ICWA so that the tragedy that happened to him will not happen to another family. We also want to congratulate Dusten […]
  • A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

    Robin
    7 May 2015 | 3:20 pm
    Adoption has been called many things. Its’ been called a win-win-win, the answer to an expectant mother’s prayers when she’s facing a crisis pregnancy, a way to save all the orphans of the world, and a wonderful way to create a family (on a par with a biological family). It’s also been called the answer […]
  • Changing My Story

    Kellie
    26 Apr 2015 | 6:33 pm
    I took all of my posts down last week after someone told my husband the existence of this blog is the reason we are not allowed contact with our granddaughter. I did it trying to prove this blog is only used as an excuse to hide someone else’s weakness. I realized a few days later by […]
  • I’m Pissed!

    Robin
    21 Apr 2015 | 1:55 pm
    As anyone who reads this blog knows; I could never get it back. I could never get back the life I was born to live. And how does that make me feel? Pissed! Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am f***ing pissed. Who on earth are these crazy people who decided I was some kind of […]
  • You can never get it back– Part 2

    Robin
    6 Apr 2015 | 12:56 pm
    I walked into my dining room and stopped dead in my tracks. This is the thought that came to me, “I’ve found both sides of my family. I know where I come from…But what did it get me?” And that’s when I knew…I would never get it back. And what would I never get back? […]
 
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    The Adoption Trail - 4 Generations

  • Eldercare: Caring for My Adoptive Mother

    Jill Methvin
    1 May 2015 | 6:46 am
    “She’s on Hospice.” That’s a telling statement. You don’t have to know much about Hospice to get an immediate feel for the mood. Death. Imminent. I don’t mind talking about my mother and the years that she has lived with us as her health declined. She has lived in our home on and off for […]
  • Adoption Loss and Suicide

    Jill Methvin
    2 Mar 2015 | 12:36 pm
    I’m sick of adoption loss. My husband and I went to the accountant to file our 2014 income tax. Since our son passed away last year and we are his next of kin, we are expected by the IRS to file his last return. I’m not sure why this hurts more than some of the […]
  • Prolife or Probirth

    Jill Methvin
    26 Feb 2015 | 1:16 pm
    I love the Lord and I’m definitely prolife. However, I’m insulted when confronted by some prolife/probirth members wanting me to pay them gratitude that I’m alive today, just because I’m adopted. There is a distinct difference between prolife members and probirth. Prolife members are interested in caring for the poor through the long haul. Probirth […]
  • Adoption and Education: What schools and teachers don’t understand

    Jill Methvin
    3 Feb 2015 | 11:54 am
    Some of the most traumatized children sitting inside classrooms are those children who have experienced the entire loss of their God given family, for whatever reason. Those children are either currently in the foster care system, an orphanage, or have been transferred to the care of an adoptive family. These children are at-risk and do […]
  • Wedding Anniversaries and Adoption

    Jill Methvin
    21 May 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary.  It’s been a struggle and hard work for both of us, but we have made it this far.  God willing, our marriage will last until death do us part. Initially when asked, the minister said no he did not want to marry us; he had good reason to say […]
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    America Adopts

  • Forget Everything Else. This Is The Most Important Part Of Your Adoption Journey

    Lawrence
    26 May 2015 | 5:46 am
    This guest post is by Madeleine Melcher, an adoptee, adoptive mother and author. The most important part of your adoption journey, right now and forevermore, is probably not what you think it is. Though I have a huge appreciation for the hours you’ve spent choosing the colors of your printed adoption profile and each picture that goes inside, though it plays a part in what is most important, is not it, directly. Believe me, I literally wrote the book on printed profiles but your profile alone is not it. I know you are thinking it is the love.  Why wouldn’t it be, right?  That is…
  • Why Marriage Equality Matters To Same-Sex Adoptive Parents

    Lawrence
    19 May 2015 | 7:22 am
    This guest post is by Justin Miles, a same-sex hopeful adoptive parent.   Last month my husband Brad and I joined thousands of people outside the Supreme Court in Washington to show our support for marriage equality. It was the latest stop in a long journey for us that has brought us to where we are today in our adoption journey. When the Supreme Court comes down with its ruling at the end of June it is bound to be a landmark decision for the entire country. A decision that we hope opens the door for all same-sex couples to be treated as any heterosexual couple would be, no matter what state…
  • We’re Not Perfect. That’s Why We’ll Make Perfect Adoptive Parents

    Lawrence
    12 May 2015 | 6:13 am
    This guest post is by Liz Brown, a hopeful adoptive mom. I know a little something about trying to be perfect because for many years I thought it was something that I could someday attain if I just worked hard enough. And I’ve always known how to work hard: I’ve had jobs since I was 14, got straight A’s in school, got an early acceptance to Yale, graduated with honors, and have since built a successful career. But the problem with having perfection as a goal is that even when you reach whatever benchmark you thought would equal perfection in that task — the good grade, the acceptance…
  • A Birthmother’s Love Lasts Forever

    Lawrence
    9 May 2015 | 1:52 am
    This guest post is by Fran Hampton, a birthmother. More than 40 years ago, when I was a teenager, I placed my son for adoption. It took place in another time, in another era, when adoptions were secretive and relationships were closed Even though we were separated, I never forgot about Stephen. The day I said goodbye to him, I had only one request. I told him “Find me.” And eventually he did. Today, it’s been five years since our reunion.  Stephen and I see each other regularly and our families continue to be close. For years I kept my adoption story to myself. I didn’t even tell my…
  • Going Solo: Waiting For An Adoption Match As A Hopeful Single Parent

    Lawrence
    5 May 2015 | 5:07 am
     This guest post is by Jennifer Ruth, a waiting adoptive parent. Waiting is hard. There is no easy way around that. When you have made a plan and set your course, you want to get going already. You have considered how adoption will change your life and you are ready to begin creating the image of the life you have created. The process of waiting for a birthmother to choose you to parent their child leads to anxiety. Is my profile good enough? Am I good enough? Will a birthmother choose me? Will I say and do the right things to make a connection? Will I be a good parent? In observing…
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    Canada Adopts

  • Looking For An Adoptive Family For Your Baby? Avoid These 8 Mistakes

    Lawrence
    21 May 2015 | 10:30 am
    If you’re pregnant and not ready to parent, you may be looking at adoption and, eventually, in finding adoptive parents for your baby. Adoptive families come in all sizes, shapes and colours, and there is no shortage of parents who are ready and able to provide your child with a happy, safe and secure future. Whether you look for them online or through an agency, the hardest part of the process will be in finding ones that are right for you. Luckily, as an expectant parent, you can be as involved as you want to be in the selection process. And that means putting the brakes on it, or…
  • To The Prospective Adoptive Mother Who Worries She’ll Never Get Chosen

    Lawrence
    14 May 2015 | 12:46 pm
    We’ve never met but I feel like I know you. You’ve worked long and hard to start your family. When the fertility treatments weren’t successful — or maybe you skipped them altogether — you moved on to adoption, hopeful that the day would finally come when you would hold your baby in your arms. You completed your home study (if a house could get a medal for cleanliness yours would have won first prize), created your adoption profile, set up a special “We Are Adopting” page on Facebook and Twitter, and have done pretty much everything you possibly can to turn your…
  • What To Expect When You’re Waiting For An Adoption Match

    Lawrence
    30 Apr 2015 | 9:51 am
    This guest post is by Kristen, a waiting adoptive parent. I click on my email inbox Yet again it’s empty. Or, as is more often the case, spam. The type of spam that advertises sales from a website I may have clicked on once, or someone trying to sell me medications not even suited to my particular gender. I scowl, delete it all and distract myself with checking over our baby essentials list. I’ve fallen into a routine of checking my email no less than 10 times a day (okay, maybe more like every hour or so, but who’s counting?). I check our blog and Facebook page to see if anyone has…
  • Creating An Adoption Plan For Your Baby? 3 Questions To Ask Yourself First

    Lawrence
    23 Apr 2015 | 8:34 am
    If you’re unexpectedly pregnant and looking at your options, you may be considering adoption. But how much do you really know about it? For most women with an unplanned pregnancy, adoption means “giving up” your baby and never seeing him again. “I could never do that,” they’ll say. The good news is, you don’t have to. Adoption has changed. Today, in open adoption, women don’t “give up” their baby. They make a plan — one that is tailored to their individual needs and created out of love for their child. As an expectant…
  • 21 Things To Write About In Your Adoption Profile When You Have No Idea What To Write

    Lawrence
    16 Apr 2015 | 11:48 am
    Imagine that the only thing keeping you from becoming a parent is writing your adoption profile. Sounds pretty simple. Just sit down and start writing it, right? But that’s when things get complicated. For starters, you don’t know anything about the expectant mother you’re writing to — who she is or what she’s looking for. You could make assumptions and write about what you think she’s looking for. But that won’t get you very far. You could be right. But more often than not, you’ll likely be wrong. So what do you do? The only thing you can do:…
 
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    Great Wall, Pandas, and Mcdonald's

  • 8 days left on Reece's Rainbow

    Sean Fahey
    27 May 2015 | 9:51 am
    If you are new to this blog or do not understand what the Reece's Rainbow link on this blog is, let me explain.  It is a fundraising outfit that helps families like ours to adopt child.  If you make a donation, it is tax deductible.  We only have 8 days.  I think that once we are travelling, it shuts down.  If you would like to assist us, anything would be welcome.  If you want to, you can go to the main site and see other kids that you might want to sponsor.  They do a lot of good for children that are harder to adopt out.
  • Another Day on the Front Line

    Sean Fahey
    27 May 2015 | 9:46 am
    It has been another uneventful day.  I am trying to finish up my work, so that I do not have anything waiting until I get back.  I only have 4 days of work.  During lunch,  I found a list of restaurants in Harbin.  For Russian, we have Katusha,  for American (don't know if we need that one)  we have Donnelley's and the fall back McDonald's, and the King of Oriental Dumplings.  They had other titles, but they were in Mandarin.  I will just try to refer to Trip Advisor when we get to Harbin.  Some of these sound interesting.  At some…
  • The Girl Who Likes to Eat Returns to China!

    Sean Fahey
    27 May 2015 | 4:23 am
    When we adopted Michelle 10 years ago, the person who runs the orphanage described Michelle as:  That one, she like to eat.  She has not changed.  She is looking forward to the food.  She is hoping for Orange Chicken.  I don't know if that is more American Chinese than Chinese.  I know she will like Sweet and Sour Pork.  We also have dumplings to look forward to.  We are going to try Hot Pot.  I know this because the Toilet Bowl Restaurant serves this.  Michelle wants to get pictures of this.  I hope this will be a trip for her to…
  • 8 Days and Counting!

    Sean Fahey
    27 May 2015 | 4:18 am
    Angie tells me that she is stressing thinking about all she has to do.  I don't feel stressed.  I'm sure it will hit me soon enough.  Yesterday was a calm day.  Went home, made dinner, put Mia down for sleep, and rested.  I want to do things around the house, but after a day of work, I don't feel like doing much.  I will have to summon some strength to get things done.  As I am typing this, I see that I have started a list of things to do.  I can take a shot of caffeine when I got home.
  • Fundraising My Outlook at the End

    Sean Fahey
    26 May 2015 | 9:48 am
    To all that plan on adopting, I am not writing this to discourage you from trying.  I am merely explaining what I see as our effort.  When we into this, I thought it would be easy to raise money.  People are always telling us the good we are doing and blessing us.  I thought they might also bless us with donations.  We did raise some money and like I've said all is appreciated.  I just am disappointed in the fact that you see those Go Fund Me fundraisers and they have no problem raising money.  We have had to beg and sell things.  Even with selling…
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    Hope Connections - Blog

  • More Than Meets the Eye

    27 May 2015 | 1:15 pm
    There is ALWAYS more than what meets the eye!Every day I help families look beyond the behavior that is in front of them to the real issue that needs to be dealt with. Such a key technique to use towards HEALING!No matter how long you have been a family, no matter how old your child is, no matter what they have said or done, no matter how long it takes....NO MATTER WHAT!Be intentional and look behind the behavior - you are your child's best chance at healing! 
  • Slow & Steady Wins the Race

    14 May 2015 | 5:37 am
    Slow and steady wins the race. I have to tell you, I think this is a great mantra for parents in general... Adoptive, Foster, Guardian, Kinship, AND even Biological!It speaks to the need to stay NEUTRAL, no matter the test.It reminds me to be CONSISTENT always. It allows me the mindset to MEET my child where she/he is at.It helps me appreciate that PROGRESS is slow.It gives me the secret to KEEP ON, KEEPIN' ON!It highlights that this is an IMPORTANT journey, a race to be won, a heart to be healed!Make this YOUR mantra. Paste it to…
  • A Bittersweet Day

    7 May 2015 | 6:27 am
    Mother's Day has been a real high and a real low in my 19 years of being one. It is such an amazing experience...becoming a Mom. I was excited to become a mom to all of my children. But that was MY excitement, my desire, my plan - not necessarily theirs!It is a bittersweet day. In my family it is a reminder of love and devotion, but also loss and confusion. There have been many Mother's Days that were awful, but they were only awful because I didn't get it! My perception of Mother's Day was one that included feeling like a GREAT Mom because everyone in my house said and showed that they…
  • Plugging In

    5 May 2015 | 5:39 am
    When I was in Michigan last week speaking at an Adoption/Foster Care/Kinship conference, many people asked me how I made it work. Leaving my kids at home - that is. Well here's the thing...there is a lot at play that makes it work for me and my family. First, it has been almost 14 years. Time helps! For years I chose not to leave at all. Then for the next years I left a bit, but kept it at a minimum. Now I can leave without a lot of fall out.    Second, I am very intentional about having everything in place before I leave. Food is made by me. Plans are all in order and…
  • The Impacts of Loss Linger On

    29 Jan 2015 | 9:45 am
    I Was Thinking....Loss is an interesting beast and our kids all struggle with it! Such an important concept for ALL of us to consider as we parent children with real and unresolved loss and grief experiences. A family we are close to is moving this weekend. A couple of their kids are very close to mine...in age and through close friendship. I am specifically watching my two youngest manage this huge transition. Of my two, one is bio and one is adopted. While my youngest daughter, who is adopted, would not be able to talk about her grief and loss with you yet, it is quite deeply rooted in…
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