Adoption

  • Most Topular Stories

  • 5 Things to Consider Before Adopting Transracially

    Infant Adoption Guide
    Tim Elder
    15 Jan 2015 | 2:27 pm
    This is a guest post from Rachel Garlinghouse – an author and adoptive mom of three shares from her experience about the 5 things you need to consider before adopting transracially. She writes with lots of wit and humor – and you’ll see her passion for transracial adoption. I know you’ll enjoy this! Take it away, […]
  • Clearing The Way for Words

    ReadingWritingLiving
    Susan
    23 Feb 2015 | 6:34 pm
    I’ve been dealing with some writing “stuckness” in the past month or so. And I’ve been aware that it’s had to do with both inner and outer obstacles. The writing was just not happening. The first thing I needed to deal with was my space. I alternate between writing in my home office, and my shared office space at the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto. But recently I realized I was fleeing to the Grotto more often than not, because my own space was just such a damn mess. These photos don’t even begin to show the half of the mountains of paper and boxes all…
  • How I Got Over My Fear Of My Daughter’s Birthmother And Became Her Friend

    America Adopts
    Lawrence
    26 Feb 2015 | 8:17 am
    This guest post is by Brandy Sacapanio, an adoptive mother and adoptee. “There is a very good chance we will have to remove the right ovary.” I walked outside the doctor’s office in disbelief and sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, too weak to stand. It had been a whirlwind of events. I had gone from feeling “something” one day when I got dressed, to a doctor’s appointment, to the question: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”, to an ultrasound and diagnosis, to being told that I had a mass the size of a soccer ball. I was still in shock. The size of a soccer ball? I…
  • 9 things you need when adopting from another state

    Infant Adoption Guide
    Tim Elder
    19 Feb 2015 | 3:21 pm
    When adopting a newborn from another state, it is extremely important to be prepared. You will likely have to stay in that state until the ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children) paperwork clears and you are allowed to legally bring your baby home. Every state has their own adoption laws, but you can […]
  • Four Birthmothers For Mothers

    Writing My Wrongs
    Suz
    18 Feb 2015 | 1:11 pm
    Related posts: Please Watch This Sending Babies Finding Mothers A Girl Like Me
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    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth

  • Anonymous Third Party Reproduction Ignores Children’s Rights and Welfare

    3 Mar 2015 | 7:14 pm
    By Mirah Riben Sheena and Tiara Yates, a New Jersey couple and parents of two, are challenging the visitation rights of the biological father of their second child. It will be interesting to see if the courts, in deciding this case, will base their decision solely on the legal rights of the parents, or if they take into account the rights and best interest of the child created. The Yates’ child was conceived privately for the lesbian couple with a sperm donor who signed a legal contract... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • My Desperate Plea – Searching – October 29, 1993, Kingsport, Tennessee

    2 Mar 2015 | 7:14 pm
    By AstridBeeMom There are SO many people that are searching for birth family or for the child they relinquished. I know that this may seem like one of the many thousands, but I really need everyone’s help here. Tawney is such a wonderful person. She has been through so much as a birthmom. More than anything I want to be able to give her the gift of knowing that her daughter is alive, happy, and healthy.Even though her child’s adoption was done in 1993, it was a traditionally closed... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • How to Find Your Child’s Adoptive Parents – A Step by Step Guide

    2 Mar 2015 | 7:14 am
    By AstridBeeMom With an alarming number of women who were promised open adoptions having the door slammed shut in their face, I thought I would write about some methods that can be used in order to solve this problem. Almost every search group will not search for a child until they are 18 or 21 years of age, regardless of whether or not it was supposed to be an open adoption. However, I think that searching for adoptive parents, who promised to always keep you in the loop, is something that all... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Happiness vs Contentment

    2 Mar 2015 | 7:14 am
    By Lori Holden Which do you pursue: happiness or contentment? And do you perceive a difference between them? ~~~~~ I wasn’t a Spanish major, but I do remember learning when to use ser, “to be,” and when to use estar, also “to be.” The former has to do with identity — I am a wife and mother – … Continue reading Happiness vs Contentment → The post Happiness vs Contentment appeared first on Lavender Luz. Read at the Source: : Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • The update to “Newly Minted Birthmoms”

    1 Mar 2015 | 7:14 pm
    By AstridBeeMom AstridBeeMom:Pay attention. Originally posted on Adoption: Second Generation Birthmom: This in an update to the post Newly Minted Birthmoms. It is in response to me flipping out over yet another Newly Minted Birthmom with her head in the clouds claiming that she’s at peace with her decision and that she has no regrets. Then I ask the question “how old is your child?” and I get the answer I was fully expecting…Yep…under 3 yrs. For those of you who haven’t read Newly... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you…
 
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    ReadingWritingLiving

  • Clearing The Way for Words

    Susan
    23 Feb 2015 | 6:34 pm
    I’ve been dealing with some writing “stuckness” in the past month or so. And I’ve been aware that it’s had to do with both inner and outer obstacles. The writing was just not happening. The first thing I needed to deal with was my space. I alternate between writing in my home office, and my shared office space at the San Francisco Writers’ Grotto. But recently I realized I was fleeing to the Grotto more often than not, because my own space was just such a damn mess. These photos don’t even begin to show the half of the mountains of paper and boxes all…
  • Walking, Writing, Shhhhhhh

    Susan
    17 Feb 2015 | 9:26 pm
    Walk without speaking for one hour. Then, write without stopping for another hour. It’s a simple sequence, but somehow it’s magical, what that combination can produce. I’ve been doing this practice since 1996, when my writing friend introduced me to it. We’d switch locations: one week, we’d walk the beach in San Francisco and then write at her house; then the next week, we’d walk in the redwood forest and write at mine. We ended up writing hundreds of pages in this way. What happened in that silence during the walk?  Every walking hour was different.
  • Would You Read It Carved Into A Stone Tablet?

    Susan
    23 Apr 2014 | 2:06 pm
    book cover art by Mollie Ito Roark I’m so excited. My mini-memoir, The Mouse Room, was published by SheBooks a few weeks ago.  Yahoo! I’ve been working not this crazy story for decades- first as fiction, then as part of longer piece, then finally as this little 33-page memoir. I’m proud of it. I worked really hard at it and had some fabulous editing by the folks at SheBooks. I’ve gotten wonderful responses so far. Some very cool Amazon reviews. But one of the things I was not expecting, was to hear several people say to me, “I’d love to read your book, but…
  • AWP Seattle!

    Susan
    1 Apr 2014 | 10:32 pm
    cool souvenirs I brought home BEFORE: I’m so excited. I’m so so so so excited! I should be packing, but instead I am poring over the schedule and all the details for the upcoming AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) conference in Seattle, where I’ll be headed tomorrow!! I first attended AWP in Tempe, Arizona back when I was a MFA student twenty years ago (!) and one of our fantastic professors, Elmaz Abinader, took a little group of us to our first writers’ conference. It blew my mind, and introduced me to the incredible world of authors and poets and…
  • Blindsided

    Susan
    24 Jul 2013 | 9:29 am
    I’ve been putting off going to my eye doctor for a couple of years now, even though I really need it. I’m supposed to go annually ever since my diabetes diagnosis. Even though I have to take off my glasses and hold a piece of paper up to my nose to read it, I still procrastinate. Beyond having a ridiculously busy schedule, I have to ask WHY? I keep forgetting the name of the opthamologist. I keep having to ask my endocrinologist, What was her name again? And I write it down. And then I forget again. Today I remembered something which I think is the clue to my…
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    Kimchi Mamas

  • I am Home!

    Kimchi
    1 Mar 2015 | 12:06 pm
    We often get stuck in the past. We pay a high price when we do. When we dwell too long in negativity that we have experienced, we often lose out on many great possibilities. Difficulties in our lives, especially those that seem to occur and re-occur, are usually the road map to our own hero’s journey. If we spend too...
  • RIP Paul J. Kim

    Kimchi
    27 Oct 2014 | 3:02 pm
    Let us take a moment to keep in mind the family of Rutgers student, Paul J. Kim. IAmKoream.com is reporting Paul's body was recovered earlier this month from the Hudson River. His death has been ruled a suicide. Though I did not personally know Paul, I do know that suicide is a real problem in the Korean/Korean American population. Too...
  • Mystery Arms

    Kimchi
    23 Oct 2014 | 4:57 pm
    The BBC is reporting a 50 year dinosaur mystery has finally been solved . . . And it's weird! Korean and British researchers have come up with what appears to be one of the WEIRDEST dinosaurs ever reconstructed. Part of the mystery stemmed from the HUGE, long arms of this bad "...the long forearms with giant claws may have been...
  • Hello!

    Kimchi
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:18 pm
    Hello Kimchi Mama Readers! It's me... Mary! Long time no see. I am not sure why I haven't blogged in a while... I just haven't. But today I got to thinking about Kimchi Mamas and felt like I should write a post. What have I been up to? Mostly just the usual... working, mothering, you know. My younger son started...
  • Condolences

    Kimchi
    7 Jun 2014 | 4:19 pm
    Our deepest condolences to the family of Paul Lee, the victim of the shooting this past Thursday at Seattle Pacific University. If anyone has any connection to the family or their friends, please share so that we can help however we can.
 
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    Lavender Luz

  • Happiness vs Contentment

    Lori Holden
    2 Mar 2015 | 3:35 am
    Which do you pursue: happiness or contentment? And do you perceive a difference between them? ~~~~~ I wasn’t a Spanish major, but I do remember learning  when to use ser,  “to be,” and when to use estar, also “to be.” The former has to do with identity — I am a wife and mother – … Continue reading Happiness vs Contentment → The post Happiness vs Contentment appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • 1001th: Just Keep Driving

    Lori Holden
    23 Feb 2015 | 4:25 am
    I’ve been unmotivated to post anew because…this. But I guess when your car’s odometer passes 100K, you just keep on driving. ~~~~~ I had a post syndicated on BlogHer earlier this month and I invite you to check it out. Get your sexy on with these 5 yoga poses (some of them a skosh more … Continue reading 1001th: Just Keep Driving → The post 1001th: Just Keep Driving appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • The Badass Inside

    Lori Holden
    16 Feb 2015 | 5:00 am
    “Take him out, Coach!” — I yell across the gym. It was more of a wail than a directive, “him” being my son and “Coach” being my husband. Reed is playing basketball and has just taken a spill. He is all right, but my heart is pounding, as he is playing injured tonight. Earlier in … Continue reading The Badass Inside → The post The Badass Inside appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • My Bloggy Valentines

    Lori Holden
    13 Feb 2015 | 12:40 pm
    Nearly 8 years ago, I found this and my world changed. As a result of a routine google search, I found Melissa, bloggers and blogging. How appropriate, then, that yesterday, Melissa tagged me as one of her Bloggy Valentines. The tag is an invitation for me to write a brief Valentine’s ode to each of … Continue reading My Bloggy Valentines → The post My Bloggy Valentines appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • 10 Movies & the Messages They Give About Adoption

    Lori Holden
    5 Feb 2015 | 6:30 am
    I’ve long admired Addison Cooper for the way he makes me think about adoption more expansively, as well as for his  helpful posts about adoption movies (really, if you’re considering a movie for/with your kids, check out Adoption at the Movies first). Addison and I recently teamed up for an interview that will be published … Continue reading 10 Movies & the Messages They Give About Adoption → The post 10 Movies & the Messages They Give About Adoption appeared first on Lavender Luz.
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    Therapy Is Expensive

  • Open Adoption Is Not Slavery

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    16 Feb 2015 | 9:24 pm
    Today I quit two online adoption groups. The quitting of one has been a long time coming. Microaggression after microagression after macroaggression. It was only a matter of time before I left. The other was a surprise. It was a birth mom support group. I loved having other moms like me to talk to. Obviously no one’s story is exactly the same, but it was nice knowing there was this group of women who “get it” and I don’t have to explain or educate them about what it’s like to be a mom like me. Last night someone in that group said something that bothered me and I…
  • Lucky

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    16 Jan 2015 | 4:17 pm
    I just wrote about my path to relinquishment. Even writing my truth I feel guilty. I feel I need to balance it with happy talk so as not to offend anyone. Which, I do know is an impossible goal, but still I try. I got lucky. Regardless of how I ended up signing those papers. I got lucky. I got lucky that a wonderful couple’s profile was in the stack sent to me by the facilitation service. I got lucky that they didn’t care about gender or race or distance. I got lucky that they were every bit as fantastic in person as on the paper and on the phone. I got lucky that they desired…
  • (Less Than Informed) Consent

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    16 Jan 2015 | 4:06 pm
    I’ve been slow putting the blog back together, not knowing what to write about, what to republish, what to leave gone. The topic of relinquishment and choice has come up in fairly heated conversations in more than one adoption group recently. And when I say recently I mean the last few days. It’s as if somewhere an alarm went off alerting people that this is the week for debating relinquishment. There have been those who call it selfless, heroic, and courageous. There are those who call it abandonment, irresponsible. In both camps there are those who insist on reminding everyone…
  • Tuesday Reflections on ThrowBack Thursday

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    6 Jan 2015 | 1:10 pm
    Kidlet and I are friends on a social media platform. (He initiated the connection so no it’s not some weird non-boundary having birth mom predatory thing) <– why do i even still feel i have to make these types of disclaimers! ANYWAY Kidlet and I are social media friends. Sometimes I’ll post a Throw Back Thursday picture of him or of us, especially around his birthday or just when I’m missing him particularly much. One such photo he commented on was from our very first face to face live and in person visit. I asked if he remembered that visit and he doesn’t…
  • New Year Same Me

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    1 Jan 2015 | 9:41 am
    It’s New Years Day, 2015. I’m sure I’m supposed to use this time and this space to make resolutions, predictions, and promises. But I really don’t see 2015 being much different from 2014, if at all. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that 2014 was bad. It wasn’t. In fact all in all it was a pretty good year. I saw my kid a few times, I visited my parents, I passed all my classes, I presented at conferences. But I wasn’t transformed. I didn’t finally commit to clean living despite wanting to be healthier. I didn’t join a gym or start…
 
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    A Birth Project

  • Feb 19th New Show in progress Performance! Come!

    Lisa Marie
    6 Feb 2015 | 10:44 am
    Come check out a 30 minute excerpt of my newest solo show in progress on Feb 19th at The Bside Barn in Oakland, CA. This new show continues some of the themes begun in “Ungrateful Daughter” around adoption, loss, longing, grief and finding your worth as a woman. I’ll be performing along side two other amazing solo performers for a full night of theater.   Description of the show: Side Chick: This ain’t no Harlequin Romance – written & performed by Lisa Marie Rollins Lisa Marie didn’t plan on being a mistress, but somehow here she is, in a hotel in Tahoe…
  • Family Consultations

    Lisa Marie
    28 Jan 2015 | 3:40 pm
    I’ve been getting the usual onslaught of emails from folks who are in need of support or who are starting to come to grips with the commitment they have made adopting a child of color. Are you a potential or parenting adoptive parent and need some support developing strategies for creating your community to reflect your family? Have you been thinking about moving your family to a more diverse city? a different school? Are you concerned with your TRA’s life being an isolated one? I want to remind folks that I offer individual family skype or in person consultations. 1-3 sessions,…
  • Feb 19th new show and TheRoot.com article

    Lisa Marie
    28 Jan 2015 | 2:05 pm
    For those of you who’ve been waiting for a new solo show from me – yeeee! I’m SO excited to share a brand new piece on February 19th at The BARN in West Oakland. It is an exerpt from my newest solo show in progress, “Side Chick: This ain’t no Harlequin Romance”. This new theatrical piece explore ideas around black womanhood, dating, adoption (of course), race and finding your worth. I can’t wait to share it. Buy your tickets now!  also – check it out – I’m on the front page of TheRoot.com today! yeee! oh adoption.Filed under:…
  • Hey! I’m a Featured Commentator on Huffington Post Live!

    Lisa Marie
    24 Oct 2014 | 12:42 pm
    Remember that one time I was on HuffPostLive? (check out the full segment by clicking!) Check me out on Marc Lamont Hill’s show discussing strategies for white families who are parenting children of color. Filed under: In the News Tagged: adoptee, adopting a black child, Adoption, adult adoptees, African adoptee, black adoptee, HuffPostLive, lisa marie rollins, Mixed Race, multiracial
  • Video update on London Calling Residency! Thank you & 3 more days!

    Lisa Marie
    22 Oct 2014 | 4:45 pm
    I’m thrilled that I am over half way to my goal! I have raised $2005.00 of $3700.00 I still need your help! Check out the video update. Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed so far!! Filed under: Uncategorized
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    Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity

  • Holt’s Blog asks families to consider Vietnam adoption

    Administrator
    10 Feb 2015 | 9:42 am
    A Holt International Children’s Services Blog post today highlight’s their Vietnam program.  The post gives a bit more information than previously on their site, and it also features a specific waiting child, “Demetria” a little girl who is not yet 2 years old. To read more about the program, or see the little girl featured […]
  • Holt, Dillon and U.S. State Department work together

    Administrator
    29 Jan 2015 | 6:03 pm
    In a joint press release received from Holt International and Dillon International by VVAI today; Leaders from the two agencies met this week with Terrence West, Deputy Consular Chief of the U.S. Embassy in Hanoi, Vietnam, to discuss how the agencies and Department of State can cooperate to help the most vulnerable children. Representative’s from […]
  • VN Ministry of Justice Clarifies Criteria

    Christina
    9 Jan 2015 | 6:16 pm
    The Department of State yesterday posted a notice regarding recent clarifications on the part of the Vietnamese Ministry of Justice.  According to MOJ/DA, healthy children who live outside of orphanages currently do not qualify for the Special Adoption Program, even if they are aged five or older or are in biological sibling groups. The MOJ/DA […]
  • Further Guidance from Holt and Dillon

    Christina
    20 Sep 2014 | 12:56 pm
    Clarification (9/24):  As was stated in our earlier post, Dillon will accept applicants up to 55 years of age.  Also, Dillon lists the time from application to placement as “To Be Determined”. Holt International has confirmed that the fees listed at the link below are up to date.  The adoption fee for Vietnam, which is […]
  • Details On New Vietnam Adoption Program

    Christina
    16 Sep 2014 | 11:41 am
    As we reported on Friday, the U.S. State Department announced that adoptions with Vietnam are re-opening, on a limited basis. Vietnam’s Central Adoption Authority, the Ministry of Justice, announced that it has authorized two U.S. adoption service providers to facilitate intercountry adoptions in Vietnam:              Dillon International, Inc. Holt International Children’s Services, Inc. Effective on […]
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    Third Mom

  • Clarification

    Margie Perscheid
    22 Feb 2015 | 10:41 am
    I wrote a post last week following an online debacle not of my making, but which drew me in anyway and pretty much blew up my adoption world. Although I don't shy away from confrontation, the kind of confrontation I like focuses on issues, not personalities and factions, but that approach to trying to extricate myself from this situation didn't serve me well. By the time it had ended, I had lost two acquaintances I don't regret losing and a friend I do. It is, unfortunately, what it is.Although I got some kind comments immediately after publishing the post, I also got an immediate message…
  • When a door closes

    Margie Perscheid
    17 Feb 2015 | 10:18 am
    Last week was a rough one on my adoptionland. As I always do when this happens, I stepped back, circled the wagons and spent some time trying to re-center myself by focusing on my family. My kids live far away now, so I caught up with them by phone and text. I also checked their Facebook pages to see what fun they’ve been up to. Neither are avid Facebookers, but both had a few new photos posted, some theirs and some posted by friends. I was struck, as I’ve been struck before, by the demographics of their friends, the majority of whom are non-adopted Asians of various ethnicities, people…
  • Honor adoptees by honoring their privacy

    Margie Perscheid
    17 Dec 2014 | 4:51 am
    There has been a lot of talk this week in my online circles around a post by a popular adoptive parent blogger about her kids and the holidays - "parenting kids who sabotage big days," as she puts it.Kids and sabotage are words I really don't like hearing in the same sentence. And although I am sure there are legions of Jen Hatmaker supporters who are ready to carry her banner and dismiss anyone who disagrees, I say that much of the behavior Ms. Hatmaker describes is a result of parental behaviors that focus far more on their own agendas and not early as much as they should on what kids…
  • Status Hearing in the Kim Hyunsu Murder Case

    Margie Perscheid
    8 Dec 2014 | 11:52 am
    I attended a status hearing that was held today in Montgomery County Circuit Court in the case of Brian Patrick O’Callaghan, the Damascus, MD man charged with the murder of little Kim Hyunsu, whom O’Callaghan and his wife adopted in February of 2014.The hearing took place in the courtroom of Judge John W. Debelius, III. The defendant, Brian Patrick O’Callaghan, was present, along with his attorneys, Steven J. McCool and Julia M. Fisher of the law firm of Mallon & McCool. Two prosecutors represented the State of Maryland, who from what I was able to hear during the…
  • A Flipped Script and a Homecoming #flipthescript

    Margie Perscheid
    29 Nov 2014 | 9:07 am
    You are not seeing things. I have come back.I have learned the hard way that moving around in blogland isn't a smart thing to do. I still get more traffic here than at Paradigm Shift, which I find amusing since I haven't posted here in a couple of years. But there you go.Through the magic of technology I have been able to bring Paradigm Shift's content here. I will leave a few posts there, because I do have a plan for that site, a plan that needs some reform-minded adoptive parents to bring it to fruition. I'd like it to become a place where reform-minded adoptive parents can post and share…
 
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    Writing My Wrongs

  • Volunteer with MATP

    Suz
    2 Mar 2015 | 12:32 pm
    The Massachusetts Alliance on Teen Pregnancy is looking for volunteers to assist with Teen Parent Lobby Day 2015. This year Teen Parent Lobby Day is on Thursday, March 26. Once again it is at the Massachusetts state house. For more information about this year’s lobby day, please check out their website. They are looking for volunteers who can arrive no later than 9:00 am and stay until 12:00 pm. I have volunteered in the past and found this so inspiring, motivating (and a wee bit triggering). Work obligations do not allow me to participate this year but I highly encourage all to consider.
  • AAC 2015

    Suz
    22 Feb 2015 | 3:54 pm
    Any readers here going to American Adoption Congress this year? It is practically in my back yard so I am considering…sort of. Truth be told I have become rather bored with most conferences. They seem to regurgitate the same material. Does it help anything?  I do not know. Maybe it is me. Given where I am in my reunion, my own journey, my own choice of activism (helping mothers at risk avoid the adoption monster), I get less than I used to out of conferences. However, given the proximity to my home, I could be swayed if you were going! Meeting new friends, internet friends, is always…
  • Four Birthmothers For Mothers

    Suz
    18 Feb 2015 | 1:11 pm
    Related posts: Please Watch This Sending Babies Finding Mothers A Girl Like Me
  • Back Hole in My Heart

    Suz
    18 Feb 2015 | 7:51 am
    Did you hear?  Author and first mother Lorraine Dusky is publishing her second book related to her adoption and reunion experience.  Her first book, Birth Mark, was published in 1979 and exploded “the myth of the natural mother who would condemn her child to a lifetime of anonymity to protect her own privacy”. Lorraine launched a Kickstarter campaign to help her self publish her second book. She quickly met her goal and hopes to have the book available in the April 2015 timeframe.  She is still accepting donations and has stated extra monies will be used to support marketing…
  • Mothering and Punching

    Suz
    17 Feb 2015 | 12:57 pm
    Day 1 I arrived at the Emergency Department ahead of the ambulance transporting my son. Anxious, I pace lobby area while feverishly checking my phone for updates. Rain pours down in heavy sheets on the glass walls of the Children’s Medical Center. I text my ex-husband, my sons father, and tell him where I am. He responds quickly and notes he is following the ambulance and they are stuck in traffic. I text my husband. I let him know I have arrived ahead of the ambulance and I will text him as soon as I have an update.  He responds quickly asking if I want him to come to the hospital. No. …
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    [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

  • When lying becomes a defense to hide the real person

    1 Mar 2015 | 9:13 am
    LorraineLying is a subject that I write about gingerly, but it is an issue that I had to deal with as my daughter often simply could not tell the truth--either to me, her natural mother; her adoptive parents, and even friends. Recently this came into FMF's mail box from an adoptee I'll call Anna: "i read a piece on first mother's forum where you discussed adoptees' lying and playing fast and loose with the truth - in particular, making up fantastic stories. i have done this. i can't speak for anyone but myself but i can tell you why i have done it -it's a test, plain and…
  • Giving up your baby for adoption is a 'courageous decision.' NOT!

    26 Feb 2015 | 3:03 pm
    Jane"A birth mother in Western Wisconsin made a courageous decision that enabled me and my wife to have a family of our own" began WEAU TV reporter's Bob Gallaher story about his own open adoption of a daughter."Adoption is a courageous decision" with "loving" often inserted after courageous is an oft-repeated phrase from the adoption industry's lexicon. The truth is, though, that adoption is never a courageous decision. Instead, it is a life-altering decision driven by fear and desperation.Fifteen year old Sammie Pohle who "made the adoption plan" which enabled Bob Gallaher and his wife…
  • Should a natural mother be able to visit a child after adoption?

    24 Feb 2015 | 7:24 pm
    Where is my baby? "Working on a show: Should a birth mother retain visitation rights to a child she chose to place for adoption?"  That's the question over at Dr. Phil's Facebook page...and as I write there are hundreds of comments and nearly 500 shares.The responses are all over the place, but a good number of them reveal the anger and ownership feelings of many adoptive parents, and even adoptees, to wit:"No. You chose to put a child up for adoption and you have no rights after you sign that page.""I totally think that once one gives a child up for adoption, that is the last time…
  • Downton Abbey's Lady Edith finds a way to keep her baby close

    17 Feb 2015 | 6:57 pm
    Marigold and her mum, Lady Edith, on Downton AbbeyLady Edith's story on Downton Abbey of what to do with her "bastard" baby Marigold has us in the adoption community engrossed and disturbed, always anxious about how this mother-and-child bond is going to be played, since MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ARE WATCHING.Because more than eight million viewers tuned in for the first episode this season, a lot of people will be influenced by how the Crawley family handles the baby born of an unwed mum--and the mum herself, Lady Edith. The stakes are high, the scandal is huge, the shame would be great.So. I am…
  • Different expectations upon mother and child reunion

    15 Feb 2015 | 6:11 am
    LorraineThe rash of comments at the last post (Adoptees can't stop first mother's pain) got me thinking about the mother/child reunion dance. It is so fraught with possibilities for missteps that sends the other into a tailspin, or what's worse, may send someone beating a hasty retreat. I had my own do-si-dos with my daughter Jane, but they didn't begin until years had passed, and so I feel that we escaped what so many have written to us about.What adoptees have said is that when they meet their first mother and she goes on and on about the horrible boyfriend who left her stranded…
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    The Declassified Adoptee

  • Fifty Shades of Gross: a Feminist Confrontation of the Story's Adoption and Foster Care Themes

    Amanda
    16 Feb 2015 | 11:24 am
    I read the Fifty Shades of Grey books at the suggestion of my sister-in-law who has dual degrees in communications and English and is a popular books maven of sorts. She has the uncanny ability to predict whenever any bit of media will become relevant in pop culture. If you want to look like a pop culture genius at your book club, you ask her for a title to recommend to the group. If you want to know what basically unknown lit is going to explode into everyday conversations tomorrow, she can tell you that too. Her suggestion regarding Fifty Shades fell into the latter category."I'll apologize…
  • Happy Reunionversary: 9 Things I've Learned in 5 Years of Reunion

    Amanda
    4 Jan 2015 | 9:31 pm
    My necklace of our matching pair.I had already known my original mother's name for several months before we reunited. As is the practice in my birth state, most adoptees can have their original birth certificates and know their mother's name using the established government channel. We are forbidden to reach out on our own as the civil and criminal legal consequences of doing so are thoroughly explained and signed off on before our records are unsealed. My mother, my first mother, had given me permission to see my original birth certificate. I received a copy of her handwritten…
  • VIDEO National Adoption Month? The Lost Daughters #flipthescript

    Amanda
    7 Nov 2014 | 9:33 am
    Headed by @mothermade, Lost Daughters is flipping the script with this awesome round table style video by Bryan Tucker. Click here for the full length version and remember to share with the tags #NationalAdoptionMonth and #flipthescript.Being grateful for my adoptive family & questioning the ethics of modern adoption practices are not mutually exclusive. #FliptheScript #NAM— Mila (@yoonsblur) November 3, 2014
  • PA, Adoptee Rights, and an Amended Bill--What now?

    Amanda
    17 Sep 2014 | 5:07 pm
    Photo (c) Julie StrombergOn Tuesday, September 16, 2014, the Pennsylvania Senate Aging and Youth Committee held a voting hearing for HB 162.  As drafted, HB 162 would restore the right of PA-born adult adoptees, nineteen years or older, to access a copy of their original birth certificate (OBC) with the same regard under the law enjoyed by every other PA-born citizen.When a child is adopted in the U.S., a amended birth record replaces their OBC that lists their adoptive parents as their biological parents.  In 48 states, the OBC is sealed.  Every single state has a law on the…
  • Adoption and Fundraising: When Money to Breaks Down Systemic Barriers for Families

    Amanda
    28 Jul 2014 | 7:37 pm
    Aselefech runs for family preservation.There are a number of factors behind why I was placed for adoption.  Economics by far is one of the most pervasive.  My narrative is one among countless that attest to the way in which economics constricts the choices families and parents have--to keep their children, to not experience the removal of their children, to not become pregnant if they do not wish to be.I have been outspoken for the past five years against adoption fundraisers.  I have been asked countless times over the years to donate my written word or official endorsement to…
 
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    One Thankful Mom | Lisa Qualls

  • When We Don’t Understand

    Lisa Qualls
    3 Mar 2015 | 6:00 am
    And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Ph 4:7 Last weekend a wise friend said to me, “You can’t have the peace that surpasses understanding until you stop trying to understand.” That is right where I am. I’m still trying to understand the […]
  • Heading to Refresh

    Lisa Qualls
    25 Feb 2015 | 12:02 pm
    I had big plans to post something today before we leave or Refresh, but the simple task of doing laundry and making packing lists has taken all of my energy. This is only my third day on my own and I feel somewhat incompetent. We’re loading up some of the kids and bringing them along; […]
  • Don’t Worry, You Won’t Make Me Sad

    Lisa Qualls
    23 Feb 2015 | 7:28 am
    It’s been eight weeks since the day Kalkidan left our arms and entered heaven. Maybe I should just say that it’s been eight weeks since she died, but it hurts my heart to write those words. As I grow physically stronger and begin to reenter the world, I want to share something with you about our […]
  • Sunday Gratitude 2.22.15

    Lisa Qualls
    22 Feb 2015 | 1:55 pm
    giving thanks #1611 – 1620 new paint that I adore in the dining room Hannah’s visit, which was longer than usual thanks to her research rotation good news for Noah and Katie about his summer research in Seattle Katie’s job promotion traveling to Refresh later this week taking some of the kids with us celebrating […]
  • The Profound Presence of Absence

    Lisa Qualls
    19 Feb 2015 | 2:05 am
    In the days following the accident, a wise psychologist and friend came to our home to meet with with our family. He talked about grief and what we all might feel and experience. Then he said something that I’ve thought of many times since that day. He said we would experience “the profound presence of absence.” Think […]
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    Rage Against the Minivan

  • Questions of eternal significance: chores you hate, chores you love

    3 Mar 2015 | 3:00 am
    I was having a conversation with a friend the other day, and she was talking about how much she abhors laundry. She will go to great lengths to avoid doing the laundry, and it seems to pile up at her house. I was laughing a bit because laundry is one thing I really don't mind doing. Now dishes . . . I hate the dishes.Well, scratch that. I like loading the dishes. Can't stand unloading them.I'm neutral on swiffering the floors. But cleaning the bathroom? THE WORST. Every part of it.What household tasks do you absolutely hate doing? What do you not mind?Are there any of those menial tasks you…
  • What I want you to know about being pregnant, sick, and on state benefits

    2 Mar 2015 | 6:00 pm
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by Kari.I see it. Every day, these “clever” Facebook posts about all of these lazy people “enjoying” state benefits that "you" pay for with your hard-earned money. "You" continually berate these people, insinuating that they stay at home all day, enjoying a carefree life and…
  • Are we growing a generation of people addicted to screen-time?

    2 Mar 2015 | 5:30 am
    For the last several years I've taught a class on Addictive Behavior in a graduate psychology program at a local university. It’s a fun class, but I’ve noticed an interesting thing over the past five years since I started teaching.Every semester, the students are getting more and more zombie-like during class. Every semester, I am seeing more faces staring at their computer screens during class intead of paying attention (probably Facebooking or emailing as opposed to writing notes). Or texting on their phone. Or otherwise multi-tasking or engaging in technological brain-numb while I’m…
  • That's what SHE said: attention-policing and the dress, black men and word associations, Amy Poehler on looking silly, and more . . .

    1 Mar 2015 | 3:00 am
    How To Get Rid Of Clutter And Live AbundantlyHave you ever owned anything? This is why you cannot forgive any of your former lovers. Things like “having chairs” is preventing you from living your best life, and also you should throw away any item of clothing you’re not currently wearing. If it’s not on your skin, you don’t really love it, do you?Cops See It Differently, Part One | This American LifeThere are so many cops who look at the killing of Eric Garner or Mike Brown and say race didn’t play a factor. And there are tons of black people who say that’s insane. There’s a…
  • What I want you to know about living with a hoarder

    27 Feb 2015 | 6:00 pm
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest post is by an anonymous reader. I didn't understand it when I was little. I knew our house was messy. I knew that every flat surface.... floor, table, bed, TV.... was covered. Covered in stuff. But, as a kid, I couldn't see the problem. I thought we just needed to clean. Maybe if we cleaned,…
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    Lost Daughters

  • My Sister's Father by guest author Mary Anna King

    Liberty
    3 Mar 2015 | 5:00 am
    The first time I saw the man was in my mother’s living room.[And here is where the qualifiers begin.]The first time I saw the man was in my birth-mother’s living room, not the living room where I spent hundreds of Saturday mornings watching cartoons, or where I practiced piano for one hour every day. This was a living room that was only vaguely more familiar to me than it was to him in the autumn of 2005, when we met. I was twenty-two years old. If he hadn’t been so uncomfortable that day, I don’t think he would have left an impression on me at all.But it was clear from the way he…
  • NEVER FORGET (BULLET IN MY POCKET)

    Mila
    2 Mar 2015 | 3:30 am
    NEVER FORGET (BULLET IN MY POCKET)I have lost my way so far from where I began. The grains of rice I scattered were gathered andswallowed like bullets,cold and sharp swelling,in the throats of my ancestors who will never knowwho I am. A blank spot in the book (that only I can see)Cut off from the tree. like rotting fruit,a dead limb,Carried away to be buried for someone else’s sake.Someone else’s garden.Someone else’s crop.Someone else’s heart.Transformed.A bleak metamorphosisEmerging as though rising from the deadto only die againThe grave strapped to my back,As I  learn to…
  • We Are Not Our Story: An Interview with Author and Adoptee Claire Hitchon

    Karen Pickell
    28 Feb 2015 | 7:37 am
    I recently reviewed Claire Hitchon's latest memoir, The Wall of Secrets, in addition to its predecessor, Finding Heart Horse (you can read those reviews here). Claire's life has been affected by adoption in profound ways, and I thought she might be able to give important insight to those of us who continue to struggle with processing trauma from our own adoptions.I am grateful to Claire for the open and honest answers she's given to my questions on difficult topics. There is encouragement here for all of us. It is soothing to hear Claire's words.How did you become comfortable talking about…
  • The Voices of Ethiopian adoptees in Black History Month (VIDEO)

    Annette-Kassaye
    25 Feb 2015 | 8:39 am
    African women have always played pivotal roles in history, but our stories remain largely untold. The "Dahomey Amazons" or "Mino" were a Fon all-women military regiment in present day Benin (in West Africa) Raised in a homogeneous, white community in rural Québec, I can't remember learning about Black History Month or even hearing anyone talk about it when I was a child. It’s only as an adult that I became more aware and interested in Black History Month. Although I think it is absurd that the shortest month of the year is dedicated Black History, I am happy to be able to…
  • Motherless Mothering: Getting Back on the Horse

    Philomena
    22 Feb 2015 | 1:15 pm
    Sometimes I stumble. Actually, I stumble often.  Sometimes the past whispers in my ear, tells me I am not good enough, tells me my attainable goals are out of reach. It whispers I am not beautiful enough, smart enough, rich enough, strong enough, or worthy enough. My inner voice is polluted at times.I heard somewhere, that as mothers, our words and actions to our children become their inner voice as adults. Nothing about parenting is more true. Being a former foster child, who was taken from  an abusive mother, my own inner voice sometimes has a deep, harrowing echo--it sneaks up on…
 
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    Together for Adoption

  • Redemptive-Adoptive History at a Glance

    Dan Cruver
    21 Feb 2015 | 4:33 pm
    *Re-post. *Click on the image below to download the PDF.
  • Quiz: Assess your spiritual maturity

    Dan Cruver
    18 Feb 2015 | 3:13 pm
    *This is a guest post by Tony Merida.Can you name an orphan?That’s the only question on this quiz, but I failed the test.I was never opposed to orphan care or being generous to the poor. I was just very indifferent. Sure, I had a sense of sympathy toward those who were weak and powerless; I saw the pictures and was moved. But I rarely acted.Inevitably, I had to face the fact that sympathy is no substitute for action. My sporadic, momentary experiences of sympathy (for Ukrainian orphans and enslaved girls in the Philippines) didn’t help vulnerable children one bit.Worse yet, I considered…
  • The Good. The Bad. The Beautiful.

    Dan Cruver
    18 Feb 2015 | 6:49 am
    “At a time in history when so much attention is rightly focussed on the child, and all that children suffer—from war, poverty, abuse, and loss of family—it comes as glorious good news that God does not leave us as desolate orphans (Jn. 14:18) but promises…through the Spirit, a home to dwell in of true belonging and abiding love. But it is equally a rebuke to our society, which thinks of itself as come of age, and in which all too many who are disturbed, insecure, and immature try to prove their adulthood by the abusive exercise of power over the vulnerable young, that a child…
  • Adoption Nuggets (26): Dipping Into Metaphorical Theology (8)

    Tim J R Trumper
    12 Feb 2015 | 10:15 am
    Fundamental Question #2: Is Paul’s Language of Adoption to Be Taken Literally or Metaphorically? (Answered)Finally, we come to the point of decision. To be clear, we are not deciding whether Paul’s language of adoption bespeaks a reality or not, for as those holding a high view of Scripture we understand it does. Rather, we are deciding whether Paul writes of this reality directly ~ meaning that God has actually or literally adopted us, or indirectly ~ meaning that the language of adoption helps us to speak of our acceptance with God in ways which, apart from this language, would…
  • 5 Questions Adoptees Are Tired Of Being Asked

    Dan Cruver
    7 Jan 2015 | 8:50 am
    Huffington Post article by an adopted teenager:As an adopted teenager, I think there is a fine line between being curious and being nosey, especially when it comes to personal issues such as adoption. Most kids will point out the obvious: “Oh, that girl/boy does not look like their parents, they must be adopted.” While many people will observe that I look nothing like my parents (observation skills 100+). To a certain point, the finger pointing and stares get up my grill.I believe there is a certain etiquette and code of conduct, when it comes to being curious and asking a person…
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    AMERICAN INDIAN ADOPTEES

  • Janice Howe: Grandmother fights to preserve families #ICWA

    2 Mar 2015 | 11:37 am
    'We get the kids back': Native American grandmother fights to preserve families In South Dakota, 51% of children in foster care are Native American but one woman turned de facto legal counselor is using the law to change that Janice Howe at home, showing family pictures. The South Dakota grandmother turned her outrage into a mission to help families on reservations know their rights. Photograph: Sue Purchase Laura Rena Murray | 2 March 2015 | The GuardianSitting on the quiet plains of South Dakota, the Crow Creek reservation is buried in snow. Janice Howe’s tiny home, nested in a sparse…
  • Raven Girl

    2 Mar 2015 | 2:55 am
    Adoptive parents work to preserve Alaska Native daughter's cultureMarch 1, 2015 | Paula Dobbyn | Alaska Dispatch News Olive Reed and her mother Paula Dobbyn play with Play-Doh at home in Anchorage, AK on Friday, February 20, 2015. Olive Reed is the adopted daughter of Paula Dobbyn and John Reed. Bob Hallinen / ADN Haammom’ax. A gift that makes you smile.It’s my daughter’s Tsimshian name. She received it last summer at her great-grandparents’ home in Southeast Alaska after we met them for the first time earlier that day.The naming ceremony was my idea. Olive is growing up in…
  • RAD: Guest Post: Levi Eagle Feather Sr. (Part 3)

    27 Feb 2015 | 2:55 am
    Part Two: RADby Levi Eagle Feather Sr.Part Two: RADby Levi Eagle Feather Sr.Part Three: RADBy Levy Eagle Feather Sr. The twentieth century has produced a world of conflicting visions, intense emotions, and unpredictable events, and the opportunities for grasping the substance of life have faded as the pace of activity has increased. Electronic media shuffle us through a myriad of experiences which would have baffled earlier generations and seem to produce in us a strange isolation from the reality of human history. Our heroes fade into mere personality, are consumed and forgotten, and we…
  • BIA Indian Child Welfare Act Guidelines #ICWA

    25 Feb 2015 | 2:55 am
    Posted on TURTLE TALK February 24, 2015 by Kate Fort New Guidelines!From the website here. Press release here.The new Guidelines, not updated since 1979, look really good. For example, there are fifteen examples of active efforts, which are explicitly separated out from ASFA findings. There is some clear language around determining putative fathers. They clarified 1922’s emergency removal provisions. They took out the “advanced stage of the proceedings” exception for transfer to tribal court. And quoting now,There is no exception to the application of ICWA based on the so-called…
  • Reinventing a better world for all children #AbolishAdoption

    23 Feb 2015 | 1:27 pm
    By Trace Hentz (adoptee-author)Years ago doing research for my memoir, I spoke with a friend in Austria who told me about SOS VILLAGES. I had never heard of this or such a concept. It's so good it has spread to the US. READ HEREWe know that in Indian Country, taking children and placing them in adoptive homes was to assimilate them, erase them from tribal rolls, an act of genocide motivated by greed and for the taking of more land. We can't change the past in North America. It has already taken place. We are the survivors, the adoptees, left to cure ourselves but also to see to it that this…
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    Infant Adoption Guide

  • 9 things you need when adopting from another state

    Tim Elder
    19 Feb 2015 | 3:21 pm
    When adopting a newborn from another state, it is extremely important to be prepared. You will likely have to stay in that state until the ICPC (Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children) paperwork clears and you are allowed to legally bring your baby home. Every state has their own adoption laws, but you can […]
  • IAG 030: Adoption tax credit update with Becky Wilmoth

    Tim Elder
    26 Jan 2015 | 12:16 pm
    The adoption tax credit. It’s a huge financial tool for hopeful adoptive parents to use. Something that can help offset the large cost of domestic infant adoption. The credit has changed over the years – and may change again in the future. There are a lot of rules that go with it, which makes it […]
  • 5 Things to Consider Before Adopting Transracially

    Tim Elder
    15 Jan 2015 | 2:27 pm
    This is a guest post from Rachel Garlinghouse – an author and adoptive mom of three shares from her experience about the 5 things you need to consider before adopting transracially. She writes with lots of wit and humor – and you’ll see her passion for transracial adoption. I know you’ll enjoy this! Take it away, […]
  • IAG 029: You CAN Adopt Without Debt – an interview with author Julie Gumm (+ 2 signed books to give away!)

    Tim Elder
    29 Dec 2014 | 10:03 am
    Do you think it is possible to adopt without DEBT? I know you can – and so does Julie Gumm. She is an adoptive mom, a speaker and author. She has been on the Dave Ramsey Show – which is a nationally syndicated talk radio show (really cool). She and her husband have adopted twice […]
  • How to make a great adoption profile video (and do it in 5 simple steps)

    Tim Elder
    15 Dec 2014 | 3:49 pm
    Have you heard of adoption profile videos? In my experience, videos are the secret ingredient for reaching out and connecting with a potential birthmother. Videos are easier than ever to create, edit, share, and especially watch – on the internet from your phone, tablet, or computer. This means expectant mothers who are considering adoption can learn […]
 
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    The Adoption Trail - 4 Generations

  • Adoption Loss and Suicide

    Jill Methvin
    2 Mar 2015 | 12:36 pm
    I’m sick of adoption loss. My husband and I went to the accountant to file our 2014 income tax. Since our son passed away last year and we are his next of kin, we are expected by the IRS to file his last return. I’m not sure why this hurts more than some of the […]
  • Prolife or Probirth

    Jill Methvin
    26 Feb 2015 | 1:16 pm
    I love the Lord and I’m definitely prolife. However, I’m insulted when confronted by some prolife/probirth members wanting me to pay them gratitude that I’m alive today, just because I’m adopted. There is a distinct difference between prolife members and probirth. Prolife members are interested in caring for the poor through the long haul. Probirth […]
  • Adoption and Education: What schools and teachers don’t understand

    Jill Methvin
    3 Feb 2015 | 11:54 am
    Some of the most traumatized children sitting inside classrooms are those children who have experienced the entire loss of their God given family, for whatever reason. Those children are either currently in the foster care system, an orphanage, or have been transferred to the care of an adoptive family. These children are at-risk and do […]
  • Wedding Anniversaries and Adoption

    Jill Methvin
    21 May 2014 | 10:00 pm
    Today is our 33rd wedding anniversary.  It’s been a struggle and hard work for both of us, but we have made it this far.  God willing, our marriage will last until death do us part. Initially when asked, the minister said no he did not want to marry us; he had good reason to say […]
  • Dr. Oz Banned

    Jill Methvin
    7 May 2014 | 10:00 pm
      At 90 years old, my adoptive mother listens to Dr. Oz like he’s a health god and then wants whatever he’s peddling, especially what’s in pill form.  Granted her health could use major improvement, but she’s looking for the magic pill that will remove all her pain and turn the clock back until she […]
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    America Adopts

  • Adopting Hope: My Story As A Single Adoptive Black Mom

    Lawrence
    3 Mar 2015 | 5:53 am
    This guest post is by AdoptiveBlackMom, an adoptive mother and blogger. My daughter, Hope, and I have been together for more than a year now. Our finalization anniversary is coming up. I don’t know how we’ll celebrate yet, but I’m sure we will. This last year has been peppered with huge shifts for both of us.  Becoming a mom to a teenager is…well, awesome and hard. I wanted to adopt an older child for numerous reasons, not the least of which was because I didn’t mind skipping diapers and daycare. While I was ready for parenthood (as ready as one can be), I did find myself…
  • Adoption Has A Bad Rap. But This Music Video Changes Everything

    Lawrence
    2 Mar 2015 | 8:09 am
    Melissa and Chris Savage are prospective adoptive parents who have everything they need to welcome a baby into their home. A crib. A car seat. A stroller. And now, even their own rap song and video. That’s right: the Los Angeles-area couple have created a rap song and video set in and around their house. They hope the “Savage Family Adoption Rap” will help them stand out from crowd and get noticed by an expectant mother with an adoption plan. While other waiting parents rely on social workers and attorneys to help them get matched, Melissa and Chris are putting their…
  • How I Got Over My Fear Of My Daughter’s Birthmother And Became Her Friend

    Lawrence
    26 Feb 2015 | 8:17 am
    This guest post is by Brandy Sacapanio, an adoptive mother and adoptee. “There is a very good chance we will have to remove the right ovary.” I walked outside the doctor’s office in disbelief and sat down on the edge of the sidewalk, too weak to stand. It had been a whirlwind of events. I had gone from feeling “something” one day when I got dressed, to a doctor’s appointment, to the question: “Are you sure you’re not pregnant?”, to an ultrasound and diagnosis, to being told that I had a mass the size of a soccer ball. I was still in shock. The size of a soccer ball? I…
  • TV Anchor Explores Open Adoption By Turning Camera On Himself

    Lawrence
    25 Feb 2015 | 8:15 am
    As a TV anchor, Bob Gallaher has covered a lot of stories in his day. But few of them are likely as close to his heart as this one. In this segment for WEAU 13 News, the Wisconsin newsman has turned the camera on himself to share his own open adoption story. The segment includes interviews not only with Bob and his wife, but also with their daughter’s birthmother and her parents. As Bob explains, open adoption is a life-changing event for everyone involved and serves three purposes: “A child receives a home and the love of a family, birth parents have the assurance their baby will…
  • The Letter I Wrote To My Future Son After Meeting His Birthmother

    Lawrence
    24 Feb 2015 | 6:31 am
    This guest post is by Daysha, an adoptive mother and blogger.  My husband and I met our son’s birthmother, Sheila*, twice prior to his birth. The first time was during our initial meeting before she selected us. The second was just after she made her decision. During that first meeting with Sheila and leading up to it, I was a ball of nerves.  “Will she like us? What if we say the wrong thing? What if she doesn’t approve of our parenting philosophy? What if, what if, what if….?” What I didn’t consider was that Sheila would be just as nervous as we were. We were the first to…
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    Canada Adopts

  • “Why Don’t Birthmothers Like Us?”

    Lawrence
    26 Feb 2015 | 10:49 am
        “Why don’t birthmothers like us?” The question came out of the blue, but it wasn’t completely unexpected. Other prospective adoptive parents had asked it before. I’m sure I did too when were waiting to adopt. It came from a prospective adoptive mother I’ll called Pam. For nearly two years, she and her husband had been waiting to get picked by an expectant mother with an adoption plan. And yet despite a few inquires that didn’t pan out, they were still waiting to get matched. And they were quickly losing hope. “Sometimes I feel like…
  • 27 Things Adoptive Parents Know To Be True

    Lawrence
    19 Feb 2015 | 8:33 am
    1. You know that you are just as “real” as any other parent who wipes away their child’s tears when they are sad, stays up with them at night when they are sick, and celebrates their accomplishments when they succeed. 2. You know that despite everything you went through to become a parent, you would do it all over again in a heartbeat because it lead you to your child. 3. You know that adoption has made you if not a better person, than a more patient one (waiting two years for “The Call” or even a call will do that to you). 4. You know that there’s…
  • #ILoveAdoption: 23 Messages Of Adoption Love That Will Warm Your Heart

    Lawrence
    14 Feb 2015 | 2:04 am
    Adoption is about love. That’s why we at Canada Adopts! look forward to Valentine’s Day every year. It’s the day when we get to celebrate our love for others and for families created through adoption. We wanted to know what our readers love about adoption so we asked them to share their thoughts using the hashtag #ILoveAdoption on our Facebook, Twitter and Instagram pages. Here’s what they told us.     Looking for more adoption love? Check out the Valentine’s Day messages at our sister site. Help raise awareness about adoption. Like us on Facebook.
  • 8 Things I Wish I Knew About Writing An Adoption Profile Letter

    Lawrence
    12 Feb 2015 | 3:55 am
    Babies come to their families in different ways. Sometimes, the stork brings them. In our case, our adoption profile letter did. It was how our children’s birth families first discovered us and the reason why they eventually chose to place with us. Even though we couldn’t be happier with the way that things worked out, writing our letter was no easy task. At times, it was even harder than the wait. Here are 8 things I learned about writing our adoption profile letter that may help you with yours. 1. What you want expectant parents to know and what they want to know aren’t the…
  • Why Adoptees Need To Choose Their Own Life Path

    Lawrence
    5 Feb 2015 | 6:38 am
    This guest post is by Mariette Williams, an adoptee.  One of my favorite quotes is Mary Oliver’s “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” We all grow up with big dreams and aspirations, but for some, those aspirations feel more like obligations. As a transracial adoptee from Haiti, I grew up with the idea that my life had to mean something, that I had to do something great or my life would be a waste. This idea may have been self imposed, but nevertheless, it drove me to succeed. My siblings and I were constantly reminded about the plight of the Haitian…
 
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    Great Wall, Pandas, and Mcdonald's

  • First Week of March. New list of posters for sale, updated with list

    Sean Fahey
    3 Mar 2015 | 9:37 am
    http://www.ebay.com/sch/fahey6587/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_ipg=&_from=Feel free to cut and paste this address.  It will bring you to our Ebay sales.  I have 25 more poster,  maybe not 25.  More like 21 and 4 sets of buttons.  No one has put down a bid.  All original prices.  Shipping included in cost.  If you are out of US, it will cost extra.  Remember, all money will go towards Elana's adoption fund. AladdinWhat Dreams May ComeBatman ReturnsBenny and JoonWolfGeronimoDisney's TarzanAustin PowersSon of SamDisney's HerculesToy…
  • Visiting the Mausoleum of the Nanyue King (Now with Pictures)

    Sean Fahey
    3 Mar 2015 | 9:31 am
    At the address of 867 Jiefang North Road, Yuexiu, Guangzhou, Guangdong, China sits the Mausoleum of the Nanyue King.  It is the 2,000 year old tomb of the Nanyue King Zhao Mo.  For more specifics, look him up.  I got to visit this site.  What I had heard from others, the Marriott was going to be built on this site.  When they started excavating the dirt, they discovered the tomb.  At this point, they could not build here.  They moved a little further down. On some days, Angie and the girls would get tired and take a daytime rest.  I could not sit around…
  • New Adoption Book. . .Should have read this one before Fostering

    Sean Fahey
    2 Mar 2015 | 12:04 pm
    In the past, I have discussed feeling duped by the system when it came to Foster to Adopt.  I still feel a little like that, but more because they did not fully explain it.  That should be part of the process.  I think they want you to believe that any child that comes into your house will be adoptable.  Not even out of the first chapter and the author gave a breakdown of the different forms of adoption.  She explains that foster to adopt lets a parent experience the child that they may be able to adopt, but only after the state has found that reunification with the…
  • Playing Mr. Mom (Sorry, no pictures)

    Sean Fahey
    1 Mar 2015 | 1:50 pm
    Today, I get to play Mr. Mom.  Angie has gone off with Mia.  She is having her eyes checked by a doctor in Miami.  I have been getting running clothes for Michelle, taking pictures of posters for future listing, shopping for the food, washing clothes, folding them, washing dishes, assisting with homework, if needed, preparing dinner, and getting them ready for school tomorrow.  Since it is March, I have started listing again.  This time, I have included the shipping in the price of the posters.  That way, if damage, they will reimburse the price sold. Guess what?
  • The Complete Book of International Adoption, My new reading material

    Sean Fahey
    28 Feb 2015 | 3:33 am
    Angie informed me that some of the books I read were for fun.  I wish I could say they were fun reading, but it just seems like watching the same show over and over.  Sure I might find a shred of information that I did not know, but it does not happen often.  I really don't like it when the author gets judgemental about domestic over international adoption. The Complete Book of International Adoption by Dawn Davenport is different.  At least from the introduction, the author is trying to assure me that it is this way.  I like that.  She says that she is not going…
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