• Most Topular Stories

  • Using Social Media in AdoptionLand to Keep on Christie and New Jersey Pressure

    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth
    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    16 Apr 2014 | 5:10 pm
    By working together and supporting each other, we can conceivable CONTROL the information found on line about adoption. Here's my best and easiest social media tricks and tips that we need to use NOW to get the NJ birthright bill passed! read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • AWP Seattle!

    1 Apr 2014 | 10:32 pm
    cool souvenirs I brought home BEFORE: I’m so excited. I’m so so so so excited! I should be packing, but instead I am poring over the schedule and all the details for the upcoming AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) conference in Seattle, where I’ll be headed tomorrow!! I first attended AWP in Tempe, Arizona back when I was a MFA student twenty years ago (!) and one of our fantastic professors, Elmaz Abinader, took a little group of us to our first writers’ conference. It blew my mind, and introduced me to the incredible world of authors and poets and…
  • DoS Alert - Adoption Scams and Fraud

    Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform (PEAR)
    9 Apr 2014 | 9:18 am
    Actions U.S. citizens can take in Response to Adoption Scams and FraudThe Department of State is aware of a growing number of adoption scams in which individuals are offering to match prospective adoptive parents with a child who is allegedly available for intercountry adoption. In Hague Adoption Convention countries, matching is done by the Central Authority, another public authority, and in some cases, by accredited bodies, but not by private individuals. U.S. citizen prospective adoptive parents should refer to the relevant country information sheet and fully understand that…
  • CLOSURE Film: Review & Special Denver Screening Information

    Lavender Luz
    Lori Lavender Luz
    14 Apr 2014 | 7:45 am
    Angela Tucker is a transracial adoptee who joined a family in the Pacific Northwest after being born in the South and placed into the foster care system. Closure is a film that documents Angela’s two-year search for her birth family and its efect on her, her adoptive family, her husband, and, of course, members of […]
  • Five Reasons Why Your Childs Play House Needs Regular Cleaning

    O Momma Writes
    Ashley Roberts
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:43 am
    Nothing says childhood like a good play house or cubby. And for parents – it can be a great place to send the kids to ensure you get a bit of peace and quiet. However, before you send your cherubs off to their playhouse, make sure you have thought of these reasons why it is essential to regularly clean out their play areas. Ants Ants may seem harmless but when they bite, they can pack a punch – especially to a small child. Most play areas are scattered with crumbs of food which is an ant’s paradise. If you don’t clean up those food scraps regularly – you are basically inviting ants…
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    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth

  • Using Social Media in AdoptionLand to Keep on Christie and New Jersey Pressure

    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    16 Apr 2014 | 5:10 pm
    By working together and supporting each other, we can conceivable CONTROL the information found on line about adoption. Here's my best and easiest social media tricks and tips that we need to use NOW to get the NJ birthright bill passed! read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • The Adoption Culture in the UK – Are Things Better Across the Pond?

    9 Apr 2014 | 7:39 am
    It must be said, that the biggest downfall in the American adoption system is the agencies that operate within it, a notion that any visitor to this site shall surely agree with. The fact that these are private organisations making a profit from the system commodifies human life. In Britain, then, there is no charge to use the services of an adoption agency, or to enlist one to help you through the adoption process. read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Chicago Screening Adoption Film; “A Girl Like Her”

    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    8 Apr 2014 | 7:30 am
    What: Film Screening of A Girl Like Her" and Discussion with Filmmaker Ann Fessler When: Thursday May 1st, 2014 at 6:00pm Where: The Museum of Contemporary Photography (MoCP) Ferguson Lecture Hall, 600 South Michigan Avenue, Chicago IL Bonus: Adoption Community AND Ann Fessler herself! read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Hope for Ethiopian Families; An Ethiopian Adoption Search Registry

    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    7 Apr 2014 | 9:11 am
    Ethiopian Adoption Connection is a searchable database, the objective of which is to match Ethiopian adoptees living around the world with their families in Ethiopia. I'm really very proud of it. It's clean and simple which was key. We had to anticipate language and cultural issues, plus privacy verses searchability. Check it out at read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Missing Persons

    Laurie Garland
    24 Mar 2014 | 3:57 pm
    What's the Difference? Family of the Missing Plane or Mother from Adoption I personally find it difficult to understand why our society in general can grasp these families grief, yet they can’t understand or even acknowledge a mother of adoption loss’ grief. Do mothers not warrant the same compassion and empathy as those that lose a loved one in another fashion? Loss is loss. Grief has no rules as to which situation grants the right to grieve. read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
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  • AWP Seattle!

    1 Apr 2014 | 10:32 pm
    cool souvenirs I brought home BEFORE: I’m so excited. I’m so so so so excited! I should be packing, but instead I am poring over the schedule and all the details for the upcoming AWP (Association of Writers and Writing Programs) conference in Seattle, where I’ll be headed tomorrow!! I first attended AWP in Tempe, Arizona back when I was a MFA student twenty years ago (!) and one of our fantastic professors, Elmaz Abinader, took a little group of us to our first writers’ conference. It blew my mind, and introduced me to the incredible world of authors and poets and…
  • Blindsided

    24 Jul 2013 | 9:29 am
    I’ve been putting off going to my eye doctor for a couple of years now, even though I really need it. I’m supposed to go annually ever since my diabetes diagnosis. Even though I have to take off my glasses and hold a piece of paper up to my nose to read it, I still procrastinate. Beyond having a ridiculously busy schedule, I have to ask WHY? I keep forgetting the name of the opthamologist. I keep having to ask my endocrinologist, What was her name again? And I write it down. And then I forget again. Today I remembered something which I think is the clue to my…
  • Road Trip Writing: The Secret Undisclosed Location

    18 Apr 2013 | 8:44 am
    The final leg of my nomadic writing sabbatical took place last week in a Secret Undisclosed Location in the Sierra foothills. One of my dear writing friends recently bought an amazing cabin/cathedral/barnlike structure DEEP in the forest (and I mean deep!). It is very beautiful and very remote. She invited me and another friend to come and have a writing retreat there. It’s quite stunning, out there in the woods. I woke up to amazing views of the forest. It took some very lovely walks and got back into the silent walk>writing routine. That was really nice. manzanita forest We shared…
  • Feral, then Friended

    11 Apr 2013 | 7:49 am
    the silent walking cure As it turned out, I was not as happy or productive being completely alone as I’d anticipated. In fact, things got a little weird during the three days I was in the Crabby Cottage on my own, before my friend M arrived. I’d been at many colonies and retreats before – LOVING the solitude – for periods as long as eight weeks. But those situations involved being alone for most of the day but then gathering with other writers for dinner in the evening. I had no idea how different it would be 24/7. It wasn’t just being lonely. I was pretty…
  • Writing Isn’t Just About Writing.

    3 Apr 2013 | 12:01 pm
    bedroom decor in the cottage I have been waiting for this time for so very long! Like, YEARS. I applied for a few writing residencies last year and when I didn’t get any of them, I decided to put together one of my own. Why wait for someone else to grant me the time and place to write? I decided that April would be my month of Getting Back Into It and Making Some Headway into Finishing a Damn Book. Part one of my “sabbatical” involved taking a leave of absence from my physical therapy job. I hung up my name badge last week and won’t be picking it up again until May.
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    Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform (PEAR)

  • DoS Alert - Adoption Scams and Fraud

    9 Apr 2014 | 9:18 am
    Actions U.S. citizens can take in Response to Adoption Scams and FraudThe Department of State is aware of a growing number of adoption scams in which individuals are offering to match prospective adoptive parents with a child who is allegedly available for intercountry adoption. In Hague Adoption Convention countries, matching is done by the Central Authority, another public authority, and in some cases, by accredited bodies, but not by private individuals. U.S. citizen prospective adoptive parents should refer to the relevant country information sheet and fully understand that…
  • DoS Adoption Alert: International Families, Inc. Hague Accreditation canceled

    28 Mar 2014 | 6:21 pm
    March 28, 2014On March 27, 2014, the Council on Accreditation (COA) canceled the Hague accreditation of International Families, Inc. for failing to maintain substantial compliance with the U.S. accreditation standards at 22 Code of Federal Regulations Part 96 Subpart F. Prior to this date, International Families, Inc. was a Hague accredited adoption service provider authorized to operate in both Hague and non-Hague countries.As a result of this cancellation, International Families, Inc. must cease to provide all adoption services in connection with cases covered under the Hague Adoption…
  • DOS Notice: Adoptions from Haiti to Begin Under the Hague Adoption Convention on April 1, 2014

    27 Mar 2014 | 10:04 am
    On April 1, 2014, the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-Operation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption (Convention) will enter into force in Haiti.  The United States will be able to process Convention intercountry adoptions from Haiti that are initiated on or after April 1, 2014.  However, please note that delays may occur while Haiti’s adoption authority, the Institut du Bien-Être Social et de Recherches (IBESR), implements a Convention-consistent adoption process, including finalizing the schedule of in-country fees. The Government of Haiti has…
  • FY 2013 Annual Report on Intercountry Adoption

    24 Mar 2014 | 9:01 am
    DOS released the FY 2013 Annual Report on Intercountry Adoption:, Transparency, Support~ What All Adoptions Deserve. for Ethical Adoption Reform
  • International Adoption Status in Crimea

    21 Mar 2014 | 8:04 am
    Given recent events in Ukraine, many parents are understandably concerned about the status of their adoptions from children in the Crimea region of the country.  According to Ambassador Susan Jacobs, the United States Embassy in Kiev is working directly with a number of parents whose adoptions have been affected by this volatile situation.  The Embassy is also working directly with the Ukrainian government to determine how these political changes will impact in-process adoptions.  Because Ukraine is not a signatory to the Convention, the Hague Process does…
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    Lavender Luz

  • CLOSURE Film: Review & Special Denver Screening Information

    Lori Lavender Luz
    14 Apr 2014 | 7:45 am
    Angela Tucker is a transracial adoptee who joined a family in the Pacific Northwest after being born in the South and placed into the foster care system. Closure is a film that documents Angela’s two-year search for her birth family and its efect on her, her adoptive family, her husband, and, of course, members of […]
  • 5 Easy Steps to Goop Yourself

    Lori Lavender Luz
    5 Apr 2014 | 11:00 am
    Yeah, Gwyneth Paltrow as front page news is fading as other more timely topics encroach (Letterman’s exit, Lorde embracing her flaws, or that couple banned from naming their son “WikiLeaks”). But still she’s on my mind. Or at least her website,, is. How did it get such a silly name? I’m guessing it’s either […]
  • Confession: I’m with Gwyneth

    Lori Lavender Luz
    30 Mar 2014 | 9:00 am
    I remember seeing Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love back in the day, but I haven’t sought her out in any later movies. And until this week, I’d never even heard of her lifestyle website, Goop, much less visited it. Sure, she’s been faintly on my radar for years — she’s gorgeous, wealthy, and married […]
  • Firsts and Lasts and In Betweens: I Miss You, Jeni Flock

    Lori Lavender Luz
    23 Mar 2014 | 8:00 am
    Truth be told, it was Jeni who made the first move. Before I drew a wider circle, Jeni reached out to me. I didn’t know at the time the extent to which she was a boisterous extravert, a curious humanitarian, a mushy marshmallow heart linked to a wickedly smart and witty mind. But I was […]
  • Hashing it out on NBC: More on the Marijuana Talks

    Lori Lavender Luz
    10 Mar 2014 | 10:45 am
    I had such fun writing my last post on talking with kids about pot, especially concocting the subheadings. But it had gotten past the length of one post, so here are some follow-on thoughts, specifically about comparing marijuana to alcohol. ~~~~~ Weeding out my thoughts A few weeks ago I was interviewed about moms and […]
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    O Momma Writes

  • Five Reasons Why Your Childs Play House Needs Regular Cleaning

    Ashley Roberts
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:43 am
    Nothing says childhood like a good play house or cubby. And for parents – it can be a great place to send the kids to ensure you get a bit of peace and quiet. However, before you send your cherubs off to their playhouse, make sure you have thought of these reasons why it is essential to regularly clean out their play areas. Ants Ants may seem harmless but when they bite, they can pack a punch – especially to a small child. Most play areas are scattered with crumbs of food which is an ant’s paradise. If you don’t clean up those food scraps regularly – you are basically inviting ants…
  • 5 Most Common Workplace Injuries

    Ashley Roberts
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:28 am
    Irrespective of the industry or job you work in, Work Health and Safety (WH&S) will be one of your key responsibilities both as an employer and employee. For employers, laws have tightened and penalties can lead to massive and/or imprisonment for serious breaches of safety. So what are the best ways to ensure the safety and wellbeing of everyone that sets foot inside your workplace? Read on … 1. Injuries caused by overexertion This includes musculoskeletal injuries caused by pulling, lifting, pushing, holding, carrying or throwing. Accounting for about 60% of all workplace…
  • 5 Unusual Methods For Getting Rid of Stretch Marks, That Really Work

    Ashley Roberts
    14 Apr 2014 | 6:12 am
    Stretch marks can happen for plenty of reasons; the most common being pregnancy. However much we love our children; we don’t necessarily want those purple childbirth reminders on our skin for the rest of our lives! Stretch marks can also just happen during growth spurts or losing and gaining weight in short periods of time. However you have gained your tiger stripes, you may want to consider making them lighter and less noticeable. We’ve found five of the most unusual methods for getting rid of stretch marks (that actually work)! Image source 1. Vicks VapoRub This is by far the weirdest…
  • Unusual Things to do in New Zealand

    Ashley Roberts
    11 Apr 2014 | 7:00 am
    New Zealand is defined by its natural beauty, with its ability to inspire the mind and help you lose all concept of time. As a born and bred Kiwi (or JAFA, locals will understand this, Google the meaning at your own risk) you could say that I’m a bit bias when it comes to talking about the wondrous Aotearoa – Yes I mean Land of the Long White Cloud, Kiwi Land, Middle Earth or just plain old New Zealand for those of you playing at home. It’s really no surprise as to why New Zealand is an explorer’s paradise; effortlessly unifying cosmopolitan metropolis with old timey traditions and…
  • The beginners guide to maternity clothes

    Ashley Roberts
    11 Apr 2014 | 6:58 am
    When you’re pregnant, people are full of advice about what to eat, when to sleep, which hospital to go to and everything in between. But no one ever tells you where to start when it comes to maternity clothes. Pro-tip: your body will change and you will get bigger but that doesn’t mean you have to wear leggings and oversized t-shirts every day! To help you on your way to being a stylish mum-to-be, here’s a beginners guide to maternity wear. Don’t by larger versions of your regular clothing Although it’s tempting to just ‘size up’, non-maternity clothes will end up being…
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    welcome to my brain . net

  • Six years

    16 Apr 2014 | 5:44 am
    (November 2010 - Elizabeth Knox Photography)Six years ago today we became a family of seven. It has been the hardest six years of our lives. For all of us. We share this - the struggles, the pain, the very difficult memories. It has also been the greatest six years of our lives. For all of us. We share this - the healing, the joy, the love that was proven day after day and the family.We are a family. (May 2013)My children are my heroes. They deserve this. They deserve family and hard, hard, hard work from their parents. I talk with a lot of parents to help them learn and stay present in a way…
  • Help with the day-to-day

    26 Mar 2014 | 10:45 am
    I have used Facebook much more over the past two years, and it has replaced a lot of my information sharing I used to do on this blog.  I like the immediacy of it and the ability to engage in conversation.  It also makes more sense to send out quick links to articles on my Facebook coaching page than to create a blog post for those small items.Unfortunately, due to continued policy changes, fewer and fewer (as little as 5% - 10%) of those who follow my coaching Facebook page actually see the content I post in their newsfeeds. I have created a solution.  For those who would like…
  • Help and Support for Parents for $3

    13 Mar 2014 | 4:21 pm
    I am very excited to tell you how you can have instant access to "Chaos to Healing: Therapeutic Parenting 101," day or night, for just a $2.99 rental fee.  Since its creation, this video has been utilized by therapists and foster parent organizations across the globe.  It continues to help parents and other caregivers learn a new way to help children with deep struggles and challenging behaviors.When Billy Kaplan and I created this video resource, our goal was to make something for parents and professionals that was affordable, practical and full of quality information based on the…
  • SPACE Conference in Illinois

    13 Mar 2014 | 2:42 pm
    Once again, I will be attending and speaking at the Parenting in SPACE Conference, April 12-13 just outside Chicago, Illinois.  The registration costs will increase again on March 25, so I wanted to put it in front of you one more time, in case you've been putting off your decision to attend.Lindsay Crapo and I will be hosting the pre-conference for moms.  This will be a relaxed time to connect in a smaller group, receive some encouragement and develop some wonderful friendships which will carry you throughout the following year. The two of us will also be doing a break-out…
  • A playa lesson that stuck

    8 Mar 2014 | 10:52 am
    This would be me.  Burning Man 2012.I was reminded again this week (and last month) of another life lesson the playa taught me. I am responsible for my own experience.I am responsible for my own pleasure. No matter what is thrown at me.  No matter what happens to me and around me.  I have choice.  I have power.  I have complete control over my own response to everything.In parenting.  In relationships.  In travel.  In work.  In life.I am responsible for my own experience. "In the final analysis, the questions of why bad things happen to good people…
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    A Birth Project

  • I’ll be in AZ April 5th, 7pm at Black Theatre Troupe!

    Lisa Marie
    31 Mar 2014 | 12:14 pm
    Filed under: Uncategorized Tagged: adoptee, Adoption, one woman show, reproductive justice, solo theater, theater, Transracial Adoption, ungratefuldaughter
  • News and tickets to Los Angeles Women’s Theater Festival March 29th!

    Lisa Marie
    2 Mar 2014 | 5:01 pm
    Check out my March 2014 newsletter with all my updated information about upcoming performances and workshops for the next few months. Lots of good workshops for parenting and performances, readings coming up!! yay! I’m excited to share that I’ll be performing an excerpt of “Ungrateful Daughter” in the 2014 Los Angeles Women’s Theater Festival. Please come and please share with the folks you know in the area. This is my first time performing the work in the LA Area and I want to make sure my people come to see it! Description of and trailer for the show When:…
  • I’m a New Columnist at Lost Daughter’s blog! Yay!

    Lisa Marie
    8 Oct 2013 | 2:51 pm
    Been missing my blogs that focus on adoption and race? Well I’m happy to share that I will be regularly blogging for the wonderful “Lost Daughters” blog about once a month. Please check out my first post with them – up today! Not Holding My Tongue: On Blogging and the Politics of Adoption In other news – I’ve also been added to the Arts & Culture feature columnist list at the amazing Land Of Gazillion Adoptees Magazine! Look for my first article in Issue #3 coming in November. Yay! Some upcoming work:  October 16th at StageWerx in San Francisco,…
  • I got Nominated for an Oakland Indie Award!

    Lisa Marie
    17 Apr 2013 | 3:06 pm
    Friggin Sweeeet! I’m super excited to share with everyone I recently got word that I’ve been nominated for an Oakland Indie Award in the “Oakland Soul” category for my work with Third Root Art Collective and my activist work with UD and AFAAD. Yay! I’m honored that I can give love to Oakland and represent it with the love I feel for the Town.  Come celebrate with me! The winners will be announced at the 7th Annual Oakland Indie Award Celebration on May 30th, 2013. They will be held at the Kaiser Center, Rooftop Garden, 300 Lakeside Drive, Oakland,CA. Buy a ticket, bring the…
  • 2013 Update, Upcoming Events, stuff and things

    Lisa Marie
    13 Feb 2013 | 11:35 am
    Clearly *ahem *, its been a looooong time since I’ve updated you all here at “A Birth Project”. As you know, I’ve been writing “A Birth Project” since 2005!! The blog has opened up worlds of deep personal connections, as well as opportunities for me and I’m so thankful for this space. I’m most thankful for you, readers, who continue to subscribe, share my performance work and writing with your people, and supporting me. I’m still here and still doing my artist, advocate and academic work focusing on adoption and race, and still putting it…
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    Building Family Counseling

  • Ohio Birthparent Group offering free info sessions on changes in adoption law

    Dawn Friedman
    19 Apr 2014 | 6:54 am
    Have questions about the New Ohio Adoption Records Law? Unsure what forms to use or when to submit them? Need help finding support for adoption issues- including search and reunion? Join Ohio Birthparent Group for a free info session on Ohio’s New Adoption Records Law! Public Info Session on Ohio’s New Adoption Records Law presented by Ohio Birthparent Group Saturday, May 31st 3:30pm-5:30pm Columbus Metropolitan MAIN LIBRARY 96 S. Grant Ave. Columbus, OH 43215 3rd Floor Board Room Seating is Limited, RSVP Required. Click the link below to register: Free Public Info Session on Ohio’s…
  • No guarantees in therapy

    Dawn Friedman
    17 Apr 2014 | 6:19 am
    Therapy is an investment of time and of money and it’d be nice if it came with guarantees but it doesn’t. There are just too many variables to make any promises about how therapy will work for any individual but there are some things you can do to get the most out of your time in the counselor’s office. Find the right counselor. Remember your progress comes down to the therapeutic relationship that you build with your therapist. If you want a more touchie-feelie counselor or a less touchie-feelie counselor then go find that person. Whether you want someone with lots of…
  • Needing context

    Dawn Friedman
    15 Apr 2014 | 8:30 am
    There’s a lot I don’t know and knowing what I don’t know is a big piece of being a good counselor. One of the most important things I do know is that I can’t make sense of anything without context. Because I work with kids and parents, people sometimes assume I must have hard and fast rules about what makes for good parenting but hard and fast rules only work on paper. In real life, we make decisions in the context of our histories and our current experiences. We are making big, well thought out decisions and we are making quick, on-the-fly decisions. Those decisions…
  • Letting kids be

    Dawn Friedman
    11 Apr 2014 | 6:19 am
    One of the things I really like about working with other people’s kids is that they are other people’s kids. When I’m playing with my child clients, it’s very easy to hang back and be observant and to feel invested in their play without fighting any urge to “help.” With my own children, it’s hard not to take advantage of so-called “learning opportunities.” It’s hard not to push a little bit — “What if we added this curved block there?” But I know from my time working with other people’s kids that hanging back…
  • Upcoming Parenting Class

    Dawn Friedman
    9 Apr 2014 | 10:21 am
    I’ve retooled my parenting classes and given them a brand new title: Parenting for Attunement. The class has the same great focus on helping every parent become the best parent they can be in the context of their own unique values and their own unique families but it is more focused, clearer and easier to bring home. I’m launching this year’s first round at the All Life Center in their gorgeous second floor community room. I’ll be able to serve a lot more people, which also brings the cost down. The class will be held Saturday June 7th and Saturday June 14th from 2pm…
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    Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity

  • Hoping for Agency Transparency as Licensing Decisions are Made

    28 Mar 2014 | 7:44 am
      According to an AP news report from late last week, Office of Children’s Issues Special Ambassador Susan Jacobs expects “some adoptions from Vietnam – mostly involving children with special needs…to resume soon.  She said a Vietnamese delegation was due in the U.S. next month to interview U.S. adoption agencies with the aim of selecting […]
  • When Adoptions in Vietnam Begin Again…. Part 1

    21 Mar 2014 | 5:29 pm
    The following post comes to us from a new Guest Blogger, Tina, who adopted from Vietnam before the last shutdown. Thank you Tina, for stepping forward to share your experience and insight! When Adoptions in Vietnam Begin Again…. Part 1 All of us share the sincere hope that the new system in Vietnam adoptions will […]
  • Special Advisor for Children’s Issues Traveling to VN To Discuss Adoption

    8 Jan 2014 | 9:13 am
    In a media note released January 7, the State Department announced that Special Advisor for Children’s Issues, Susan Jacobs, will be traveling to Vietnam, Cambodia and China this week. While in the region, Special Advisor Jacobs will meet with government officials and non-governmental organizations to discuss the Hague Adoption Convention and strengthening child protection systems. […]
  • State Department Responds

    3 Jan 2014 | 2:31 pm
    Earlier today we received the following statement from a State Department Official in response to our inquiry about the recent story of a family in Vietnam seeking their daughter whom they say was trafficked for international adoption in 2007: The Department of State takes very seriously the welfare of all children. We are committed to […]
  • In the Vietnamese Media: Vietnamese mother looking for her daughter, trafficked in 2007

    1 Jan 2014 | 1:52 pm
    ****Several days ago, VVAI became aware of an article in the Vietnamese press about a Vietnamese family actively seeking their daughter who was adopted at age 6 in 2007 from Tam Ky Child Protection Center in Quang Nam Province.  According to the article, the child was awarded the opportunity to stay at the child protection […]
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    Writing My Wrongs

  • Taking Down the Wall [Book]

    Suz Bednarz
    18 Apr 2014 | 5:43 pm
    I returned from vacation today. I went to London for a week. As is typical of me, prior to my excursion, I loaded up my iPad Kindle with a few books. The only one I read was Taking Down the Wall by Christine Murphy. Christine is a found adoptee and in her book she chronicles her experience and process of integrating the many facets of her adopted and reunited life. I could go on and on about it but for now I merely want to recommend it.  Overall, what I loved most was her raw honesty in it.  I suspect my daughter feels (or felt) many of the emotions Christine expresses.  In fact, thinking…
  • Part 1: Co-Parenting with Adoption Loss

    Suz Bednarz
    31 Jan 2014 | 2:11 pm
    “Is there any history of tics, OCD, depression…in your family?” the doctor asks. “Uh…” I pause in my answering as I think about my immediate family. We often thought that the addiction issues several family members once struggled with were rooted in depression. Should I mention that? It is not official, just a guess, a desire to explain the unexplained. Will it help the present situation or hurt it? How about the social anxiety I have struggled with since childhood? Or perhaps, my personal, self-diagnosis that I struggle with a sensory processing disorder? Maybe I should mention…
  • Credit Where Credit is Due

    Suz Bednarz
    27 Jan 2014 | 10:30 am
    I was alerted today that an individual unknown to me is using my photo/banner (picture of me, my back tat, looking out at Chicago), as their personal pro pic for Facebook. This connected the dots on a question someone else asked me a few weeks ago. The question posed to me was “do you have another facebook profile under a different name?”.  I answered friend and informed her I only had one profile, under my real name, and I asked her why she would ask such a question. She never responded. Today, when I was alerted of this stranger (that seems to have some connection to adoption)…
  • Morningtide

    Suz Bednarz
    19 Jan 2014 | 11:03 am
    Chloe & Isabel launched a capsule collection a few days ago called Morningtide. The collection contains light blue, white and pink hues and makes use of the stone known as howlite. I think “nautical” when I view this collection. Take a peek and see if you do too. You can view the online catalog or go right to my online boutique to shop. While I have yet to announce an organization to benefit from January sales, I encourage you to consider checking out the collection. As is always the case, 30% of all sales will be donated to worthy organization. I am looking for additional US…
  • Dreaming of bGramps

    Suz Bednarz
    14 Jan 2014 | 2:23 pm
    I had an incredibly lucid dream last night about my daughter’s paternal grandfather. He was in the dream and in the dream I was telling him about his first born granddaughter, the child I had with his oldest son, a child he does not know exists. Said grandfather has at least three other granddaughters (my daughters half sibs on her fathers side). It was an emotional and rather sad dream. It is at least eight waking hours later and I still feel the way I felt in the dream. I am always amazed how powerful and vivid my adoption trauma dreams are. I have had many things happen in my life,…
  • add this feed to my.Alltop Adoption / Foster Care

  • April Is National Child Abuse Prevention Month

    1 Apr 2014 | 1:00 am
    April is a time to raise awareness of abuse and neglect issues and to encourage communities to support children and families who are suffering. Foster Care is one way to offer that support and to help families get back on their feet and reunified, learning new coping techniques and parenting skills....Read Full Post
  • New Articles for March 2014

    31 Mar 2014 | 2:56 pm
    Suggested Reading/New Articles and Features: Adoption Search Angel for Texas and Parts of Louisiana Financial Aid Basics for Foster Care Students Understanding and Managing the Loss that Comes with a Forever Family - by Andrea Hare Transitions - Defining a word that is used often in child welfare.
  • Cute Gifts Inspired by Easter or Spring

    29 Mar 2014 | 1:00 am
    So, according to the calendar - it's spring.  I still needed my winter coat this past weekend - but the calendar says it's spring - so I'm a believer. So, what better time than now to create some cute handmade gifts with the kids?...Read Full Post
  • A Children's Book Review Over a Sweet Adoption Book

    28 Mar 2014 | 1:00 am
    Cover Art Courtesy of Franklin Street Gallery Productions The topic of adoption often just pops up with kids throughout the course of a day. It's usually not a conversation that a parent purposely plans, even though they may want it that way. I Bet She Called Me Sugar Plum is a beautifully illustrated book that does not have a strong adoption theme, but the topic is thoughtfully woven into the story. The book shows a mother and daughter spending the day together doing fun activities, and eventually getting ready for bed. As the daughter learns about her grandmother, she asks about her birth…
  • Working Through Strong Feelings During and After the Adoption Process

    27 Mar 2014 | 1:42 am
    Whether you are just beginning the adoption process and knee deep in paperwork and social workers or have already been blessed with the arrival of your child - you may have already been hit with some pretty strong emotions. Some of the emotions you may have already anticipated like excitement and joy, but you may also have felt a few other emotions that have caught you off guard. Don't worry - feeling angry or depressed is perfectly normal when working your way through the long process of adoption....Read Full Post
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    [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

  • How to influence lawmakers to reform adoption law

    18 Apr 2014 | 5:53 pm
    JaneI played hooky during the recent American Adoption Congress conference and spent time with my youngest daughter Julie who lives in San Francisco and my husband Jay. Julie works in politics, helping solid Democrat candidates get elected.  Here's her advice with some of my own thoughts about getting legislators to support adoption reform.The average legislator likely knows nothing about adopt reform. Ask him what he thinks about adoption and he's likely to say "It's unfair to mothers who were promised confidentiality to open records. Adoption needs to be easier and quicker so that…
  • A whopping YES to the question: Should adoptees have their birth certificates?

    17 Apr 2014 | 12:47 pm
    LorraineNinety-five percent of the people who voted in the poll sponsored by New York NOW , a NPR affiliate from Albany, were in favor of adoptees having unrestricted access to their original birth certificates at age 18. The voting is closed.Yes, we know this is not a scientific poll. But it is a no-brainer that adults--who have every other right and obligation of society--should unequivocally have the right to his or her original birth certificate, the official record of an individual. The amended "birth" certificate is a lie. It is not a record of a birth; it is a record of a legal…
  • Do adoptees have a right to their birth certificates? VOTE NOW.

    15 Apr 2014 | 7:30 am
    UPDATE: LINK TO VIDEOBill of Rights for adoptees pushed in AlbanyLorraine at public hearing on adoptee billDo you believe adopted individuals should have the right to access their original birth certificates at age 18? A controversial bill in New York would allow just that.  (Several other states are trying to also do the right thing.) Vote here!The question 160 years ago would have been: Do you believe that people brought here from Africa should be freed from slavery? A controversial bill in Washington would allow just that. Vote here!The battle is on again in New York to allow adopted…
  • At AAC: Transracial adoption from those who live it

    11 Apr 2014 | 7:25 am
    Jane & Julie at Chinatown GateJane here. I'm at the American Adoption Conference in San Francisco with my husband, Jay. Along with hearing some great speakers, I'm spending some time with my youngest daughter, Julie, who moved here from Washington DC last year. Last night the three of us went to Chinatown for dinner.San Francisco always has special meaning for me because my first daughter, Rebecca, who I surrendered, was born here. While awaiting her birth, I lived only a few blocks from the hotel hosting the Conference. I don't find myself stressed out over this, no grief, no sighs of…
  • 'Burger King Baby' is thrilled to meet her 'birth mom'

    10 Apr 2014 | 10:57 am
    LorraineIn contrast to the situation we have been discussing at the last post*--about a woman who wrote to us stating that she does not want to meet her first mother--is the Burger King Baby who actively searched for her mother, and was thrilled to meet her.Katheryn Deprill, 27, who was left as a  newborn in the bathroom of a Burger King in Allentown, Pennsylvania, teared up this morning on the Today show as she recalled meeting her biological mother, Cathy Pochek, for the first time two weeks ago. “It’s so surreal; never in a million years did I think this was going to…
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    Our Little Tongginator

  • I Have a Cold, Cold Heart

    11 Apr 2014 | 4:00 am
    This is a not-so-short PSA announcing that I just may shoot myself if I have to hear even one more off-key, beltingly loud version of Frozen's "Let It Go."  I know you mommas of girls know what I'm talking about.  I think every North American girl between the ages of three and 11 knows nearly every line of that movie and the entire! stinkin'! soundtrack!And even some of the boys. I actually loved the movie the first time I saw it.  And the second.  And even possibly the tenth.  But now?  Now I basically want to shoot myself in the eye every time I hear the…
  • Awkward Conversation #327

    14 Feb 2014 | 1:15 pm
    I don't know about y'all, but I try very hard to stay out of my childrens' social lives, especially the Tongginator's now that she is approaching ten.  Every once in awhile, I might make a comment to the Tongginator about an incident with a friend, or we might role-play how a future interaction might go better, but I rarely talk with other parents about girl drama.I believe in the "work it out yourselves" school of thought. On Valentine's Day the Tongginator came home from a playdate. Now that I think about it, at what age do you stop calling these things…
  • Sickness, Day Eleven

    28 Jan 2014 | 7:02 am
    We are heading into Day 11 of Sickness at Tonggu House and I'm feeling a bit twitchy.  The Tongginator is back at school after a week lying on the couch, watching The Food Network and House Hunters and listening to me nag her about drinking enough.  I swear this child is like a camel: she can go for days without drinking anything.  Which is quite useful during long car trips, but not so much when she's trying to recover from a nasty cold.Today Squirt entered Day Three of her pajama fashion show.  And by this I mean I've carted her everywhere - the grocery store, the pharmacy,…
  • All or Nothing: We Deal with Both at This House

    27 Jan 2014 | 1:25 pm
    Just when you (mistakenly) think you've got everything figured out, life throws you another curve ball.  I've spent the past nine years walking through the minefield of "adoption and race stuff" with the Tongginator, trying my best to hear and support her voice.  After years of wandering around, blindly trying to lead and follow at the same time, we've come to a good place, she and I.  I have made and do make mistakes, of course, but I feel confident that we have a level of trust between us that allows her to express her opinions without fear of hurting my feelings,…
  • 50 Books About Being Different

    22 Jan 2014 | 5:49 am
    I've been on a bit of a book kick this past year, probably because I got all riled up at our county library this past summer.  It seems our library's "Summer Reading Program" isn't actually as advertized, and is instead a "Summer Activities Program."  My Tongginator read all of the books on the rising fourth grader list, but was told by an oh-so-friendly librarian that she would not in fact receive the prize advertized for the READING program because she failed to attend an afternoon ACTIVITY sponsored by the library the previous week, a magic show…
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    Adoption Truth

  • Heidi Russo . . . You STILL Don't Speak For Me

    15 Apr 2014 | 4:24 pm
    ---“To blame others for your decision to PLACE your child for adoption, not GIVE UP, is such a lack of accountability and responsibility. Own your decisions, the pain, the tears, the heartache, the worry, the unknown, the lifelong journey and the beauty that follows the ashes. I don't speak for everyone, I speak of my own journey. I speak of walking arm in arm with other birthmoms, adoptive moms and adoptees as we walk through the fear that has separated us for decades. I speak of raising birthmoms from a place of shame to a place of honor where they can hold their heads high and be proud…
  • Remembering Jeni

    21 Mar 2014 | 6:46 pm
    It almost seems like a lifetime ago when I was first breaking free of my denial, finding the courage to use my voice, speak out about the truth of what adoption had done to me, my oldest son, my entire family.Back, in 2008, when I first started this blog, I was on one of the worst emotional challenges I had ever known in my life.  When I look back at that time now, it’s like seeing this tidal wave of emotions and confusion and pain and loss coming at me, again and again.  And I was so powerless then to stop it, to protect myself from everything I was going through.The denial I so…
  • Creating A Crisis

    3 Mar 2014 | 9:38 pm
    - - - “I am a birthmom working with pregnancy resource centers to establish wordtracks for counselors to talk to pregnant women about the choice of adoption. I would appreciate if other birthmoms can respond with their initial objections to choosing adoption and what helped them overcome that. Thank you!” - - -That wonderful gem was left on the Open Adoption Support Facebook Page.  I tried but couldn’t verify if it was truly a First Mom asking the question or not.  But it was sickening to see somebody working with pregnancy resource centers – because we all know how…
  • Heidi Russo . . . You Don't Speak For Me

    4 Feb 2014 | 8:02 pm
    There are certain things Heidi Russo and I have in common. Twenty six years ago she gave up her son Colin Kaepernickjust as, twenty six years ago, I gave up my oldest son for adoption.  She believed, as I did, that she wasn’t good enough for her own child.  That he deserved better than she could give him and that the only way she could prove her love was to give him away to a couple more “deserving” of her own flesh and blood.She also, just like I did, had promises of openness in her son’s adoption that were broken.  Her son’s adoption completely closed when he was…
  • Giving Away Baby

    31 Jan 2014 | 8:27 pm
    This article,  Facebook Status: Social Media Baby Boom, is the kind of stuff fairy tales are made of  . . .Infertile couple desperately wants a child to call their own, vulnerable, pregnant  mother sees their profile on Facebook, gives birth and hands her baby away to infertile couple and everyone rides off happily ever after into the sunset.Doesn’t it give you the warm, fuzzy feeling to know, with social media, babies are becoming less and less human and more and more the desired product of infertile couples seeking to satisfy their desires for a family?Isn’t it a great…
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    One Thankful Mom | Lisa Qualls

  • The Garment of Humility – a Hospital Gown

    Lisa Qualls
    17 Apr 2014 | 8:28 am
    I spent nearly four days in a hospital gown and it gave me pause. It was uncomfortable, in the bed where it twisted around me, and even more so when I was out of bed , holding it tightly closed with one hand on the way to the bathroom. I felt vulnerable and exposed. One […]
  • My Slightly Broken Heart Part 2

    Lisa Qualls
    16 Apr 2014 | 7:30 am
    This story was long, too long for a blog post, despite the fact that I tried to make it concise, so I broke it into two parts, intending to post them one day after another. In retrospect, I realize that while I know the whole story, it is unkind to leave you all hanging. So […]
  • My Slightly Broken Heart Part 1

    Lisa Qualls
    16 Apr 2014 | 6:00 am
    I’ll begin this post with the end of the story. I did not have open-heart surgery. However, I’m  pretty certain this was the most expensive, complex, and strange weekend of my life. It all started on Friday when I woke at 3:45 am with a heavy weight in my chest and the sense that something […]
  • Tuesday Topic: Buying a House Before Adopting

    Lisa Qualls
    15 Apr 2014 | 7:34 am
    Today’s Tuesday Topic comes from Cassandra who asks, We’re in the middle of our first adoption and our agency just told us they expect we have another year before we can travel to bring home our daughter. We would love to buy a forever home rather than renting and possibly moving several times to upgrade […]
  • “I Love You.” “I Know That.”

    Lisa Qualls
    10 Apr 2014 | 7:55 am
    Not long ago I was watching Little House on the Prairie with the younger crew. I’m telling you, that show is as good today as it was when I was a child. When I bought the series  as a family Christmas gift, I wondered if they would enjoy the show in all of its simplicity; thankfully, […]
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    Rage Against the Minivan

  • Friday Finds

    18 Apr 2014 | 12:00 pm
    On Friday, I round up some good finds on the internet. From handmade, to fair-trade, to good deals and great eats.     This week, both Gap and Banana Republic are having a site-wide 40% sale. SITE-WIDE, yo. I just ordered about 20 day dresses. They are the muu-muus for my generation.     Zulily has Volcom boys clothing at insane discounts. I buy all of buy boys’ clothes from Zulily these days because they have the skate brands they like for half off regular price.   Some other fun finds:   1.  Black Sasha Sandal at Zulily2. Gold Chaise Adjustable Cuff at…
  • An easy way to bring clean water to people in need

    18 Apr 2014 | 12:01 am
    Every once in a while my blog provides our family with a really cool experience, and today was one of my favorites. P&G sent us a sample of their water purification packets, which are a part of their Children’s Safe Drinking Water Program. Our goal: make some water really dirty, and use the packet to turn it into clean water. The kids were SO excited. In fact, it attracted half of the neighborhood, and I loved hearing the kids explain their impassioned understanding of the world’s water crisis to their friends. (Please excuse my boys fighting over who would be the narrator. Camera…
  • Easter Week for stoics (Why I love Jesus but I’m kind of meh about Easter)

    17 Apr 2014 | 1:32 pm
    I have a confession to make about Easter . . . Each year, it brings up some uncomfortable feelings for me. You see, on the personality scale between pragmatic and emotional, I’m way over on the boring end of the bell curve. I tend to be a very logical, calculated person. I don’t like schmaltzy love songs or romantic movies or grand gestures. I make decisions with my head and not my heart. I would prefer a committed and steady relationship to an impassionate love affair. I like the practical. I like lists. I like analyzing and understanding. And while I’m not a completely emotionless…
  • What I want you to know about having a famous televangelist as a grandfather

    17 Apr 2014 | 12:33 am
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by Angie Schuller WyattMy grandfather is Dr. Robert Schuller of the Crystal Cathedral. He's sort of a big deal. For three decades he was the most widely watched televangelist on the planet. He created televangelism in the 70s when people only had three television stations to choose…
  • Wednesday's Child: Wesley

    16 Apr 2014 | 12:00 pm
    Every Wednesday I share about a child recently highlighted by a local Wednesday's Child newscast to share the stories of children from around the country who are waiting for a family. Wesley is 15 years old and having a family is his greatest desire. "I've been in foster care since I can remember . . . I want a family that is nice. I would do stuff for them when they are old."Perhaps Wesley's story will inspire you to consider opening your home to a child needing a family. For more information and to learn about other waiting children, visit AdoptUsKids.
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    Lost Daughters

  • The mother I never met and the mother I had

    Trace A DeMeyer
    19 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    Trace's birthmother HelenAh, it was quite something to see some similarities between me and my birthmom Helen. I never met her but when she passed in 2007, I found an article about her in a Florida newspaper. I put the article away after reading it once but it mysteriously appeared in a file for the book I’m co-editing with Patricia Busbee. The new anthology CALLED HOME is about Native adoptees who felt “called home” and felt the urgent need to find their first families after adoption. Not all of us were adopted by happy people. I wrote in my memoir I felt wanted. Well, my aparents…
  • A conversation with one of "The Disappeared": An El Salvadoran adoptee and Korean adoptee discuss adoption, reunion & identity

    17 Apr 2014 | 3:30 am
    When I write here at Lost Daughters, I never know whether what I write will resonate with our readers. I share from my heart and experience as an adoptee hoping that someone out there will read what I write and perhaps not feel so alone as they navigate their way through the maze of adoption.One of my favorite parts about writing is when my writing allows me the opportunity to cross paths with inspiring, resilient, creative individuals--including recently, a Salvadoran adoptee, Nelson de Witt. He is the subject of as well as the producer and chief storyteller of the upcoming documentary,…
  • 12 Apr 2014 | 12:36 pm

    12 Apr 2014 | 12:36 pm
                            War, displacement and international adoptionMany countries where international adoption is or has been prevalent, war and conflict have also been present. For example, South Korea, Vietnam, Russia, Ukraine, Ethiopia, El Salvador, Colombia have all been affected by some sort of war or conflict(s) within the last 50 years.Wars often put financial strain on economies, cause damage to infrastructure and the environment, impede the proper functioning of…
  • Promises Promises

    10 Apr 2014 | 9:00 pm
    I am glad that I had the mom growing up that I had.  She was amazing and one of the best moms I could have hoped for.  She did all these amazing mom things, supported me no matter what (even in reunion), and was my best friend.  She wasn't perfect, but she's was pretty spectacular.  It's something I'll always be thankful for because I want to be thankful for if (there's a difference between choosing to be thankful and being told to be thankful in case you were wondering).That being said, I don't consider these past three years to be something that was "better" than what I…
  • Beauty Ideals

    7 Apr 2014 | 9:00 pm
     This post may come of as a bit shallow in comparison to my regular posts. But at least you have been warned.As you might know already, I am not only a female adult adoptee but also transracial adoptee of Asian heritage or to be more precise a KAD, Korean adoptee. Therefore the colour of my eyes are not blue or green like my mum and dad's instead they are the darkest brown. Like a lot of Asians my natural hair colour wasn't lighter brown but blackish brown, and I didn't have naturally curly hair either (like I almost fooled my natural sisters to believe. ) No I had boring straight…
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    One Inch of Grace

  • Homework horror

    18 Apr 2014 | 9:29 pm
    BC is in kindergarten this year and the homework situation is awful. Every Monday he brings home a packet of work that is due on Friday. For him, the work is simple – one digit addition, writing punctuation, and short spelling words like “it” and “can.” I know he can do the work, yet he seems to enjoy making things more difficult. He often claims that he forgot how to sound out certain letters when he had read them perfectly fine the night before. It takes him a very long time to get through homework and he gets upset when BE finishes before him and gets to play.
  • BC’s 6th Birthday

    30 Mar 2014 | 9:57 pm
    BC had his 6th birthday earlier this month. I keep thinking about when first we met him, he was just over a year old and still learning to walk. He’s still as fearless as he was back then. Earlier this month he delivered a monologue at a school program and the audience loved him – check out the video (I apologize for the dark images – I tried to distort the video because I generally don’t share photos of the kids publicly)
  • Love in the D

    15 Mar 2014 | 3:01 pm
    J and I got married in 2005 in the Detroit suburbs. At that time, I hardly had any experience with Detroit. I had rarely been there and couldn’t find my way around at all. We had a perfect wedding and I wouldn’t change anything, but now that I know Detroit much better, I’ve discovered that there are so many wonderful wedding options here. So, I was excited when I had the opportunity to write for Love in the D, a blog focused on local and socially conscious weddings.  If you’re planning to get married in the city, this blog is a great resource, featuring wedding…
  • Thankful

    12 Mar 2014 | 7:10 pm
    I always make my kids write thank you notes for the gifts they receive, usually for Christmas and birthdays. BE just had her 9th birthday, so we were working on thank you notes for her friends. For the first time ever, I got a thank you note. I was so happy that she was thoughtful enough to do this unprompted and that she really appreciated her gift. I’m working hard to hold onto the positive things; I spend too much time dwelling on the negative. She needs a little work on her past tense
  • BE’s 9th Birthday

    24 Feb 2014 | 6:12 pm
    Hard to believe she turned 9 this month! In BE’s words, “just one more year until she’s a decade old.”
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  • What does “Moving On” look like?

    14 Apr 2014 | 9:51 pm
    It seems at every juncture I turn and run smack into adoption.  I consciously try to avoid it, but it seems to seek me out. For four decades I just lived my life and denied my otherly status.  Let me tell you:  that wasn’t a healthy strategy, though the world seemed very content with that. […]
  • The Criteria for Choosing and Not Choosing

    Snow Leopard
    11 Apr 2014 | 1:07 pm
    I went to the local animal shelter yesterday. I do that sometimes. To get back to my roots. This is therefore in two parts. The first part summarises details from the trip. The second part poses some of the questions as: To be chosen or not to be chosen, is that the question? What are […]
  • What’s in a name? Re-thinking the terms “adoptee” and “adopted”

    Amy Mihyang Ginther
    8 Apr 2014 | 9:16 am
    I was proactive at a very young age. Ok, full disclosure: I am wordy-nerdy. I have been thinking about how we define ourselves as either adopted or as adoptees. Both of these words feel very much about action that happened TO us. One EFL site referred to adjectives ending in ‘ed’ as words that “show […]
  • Cuisine, Culture, Identity, and Adoption.

    Daniel Ibn Zayd
    22 Mar 2014 | 10:22 am
    Amy’s comment on knowing more about Korean cooking than her compatriots got me thinking about food and culture/identity, especially because we’ve already discussed this in terms of the negative of racist food analogies [link]. I mentioned to my sister (a pastry chef/wedding cake baker) the other day that I really missed our “first Sunday” monthly […]
  • Facilitating the Facilitation of (Progressive) Adoption

    Snow Leopard
    14 Mar 2014 | 4:59 pm
    In our postmodern Occidental milieu, the articulation of new “meta” levels (of market) becomes necessary. Thus, it seems inevitable that extended organizational networks[1] to facilitate the facilitation of adoption[2] would come to exist,[3] along with the usual sorts of fees, such as $395 to attend a mandatory orientation workshop before even being allowed access to […]
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    Unsigned Masterpiece

  • Let’s Make A Film!

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    7 Apr 2014 | 8:00 am
    “Legal theme" may be broadly construed. You are free to choose any subject in which the relationship between law, justice, and society can be fashioned into a unique visual story.
  • 13 reasons…From The Humanist Adoptee

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    5 Apr 2014 | 5:01 am
    By way of Land of a Gazillion Adoptees, a recent post from The Humanist Adoptee: 13 Reasons Why Adopted Children Are Not Lucky From the comments to the above: It took me nearly 40 years to realize how adoption truly impacted me — and I am still discovering new things about myself. Over time, I […]
  • Equality (and adoption)

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    2 Apr 2014 | 5:00 am
    [I]t does seem that adoption is perceived by some members of the gay community as an indicator of equality with not just hetero adopters but with all hetero parents, adoptive or biological.
  • Power, Privilege (and adoption)

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    13 Mar 2014 | 12:53 pm
    Whether adoption has been through a for-profit or a not-for-profit agency, the consistent class, power and privilege differences between those relinquishing and those adopting stand out.
  • The memory that you don`t recall (and adoption)

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    26 Feb 2014 | 1:10 am
    I have a confession to make. I have never read The Primal Wound by Nancy Verrier.  Ms. Verrier is the adoptive mother of a daughter. She began to study the trauma of separation while working on her PhD thesis. I came across a three-part interview with her. Everybody but me has probably seen it already […]
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    Together for Adoption

  • Urgency & Complexity — Our Main Session Speakers Addressing This Year’s Theme

    Dan Cruver
    7 Apr 2014 | 8:31 am
    *The church in the image above is our 2014 conference host.We now have our final main session speaker in place to help us address this year’s conference theme (“Urgency & Complexity: Biblical & Ethical Approaches to the Orphan Crisis”). Dr. Elizabeth Bartholet, a Professor of Law at Harvard, is joining us to speak on “Family First: International Adoption as a Human Rights Issue.” We are thrilled she will be with us this year as we consider the vitally important issues surrounding biblical and ethical approaches to the global orphan crisis.Dr. Bartholet…
  • The Love Story of the Incarnation

    Dan Cruver
    24 Feb 2014 | 11:12 am
    Below is a sermon I had the privilege of preaching this last Sunday at Shannon Forest Presbyterian Church of Greenville, South Carolina.
  • Know More Orphans

    Dan Cruver
    20 Feb 2014 | 4:05 pm
    Join Tony Merida, Russ Moore, Rick Morton, Bryan Loritts, and many others for Altar 84′s Know More Orphans Conference.Learn more about this excellent conference!Know More Orphans from Altar84 on Vimeo.
  • Great News! Our National Conference is Providing FREE Childcare!

    Dan Cruver
    11 Feb 2014 | 9:06 am
    *The church in the image above is our 2014 conference host.We are excited to announce that our host church (Simpsonville First Baptist) for this year’s conference is providing free childcare! Yes, that’s right, not only are we able to provide childcare this year, but it’s also free of charge. We are very grateful to Simpsonville First Baptist for serving families in this way.Also, in order to accommodate the schedule of a couple of this year’s speakers, we changed our conference dates from October 10-11 to October 17-18. Please make note of that change.Our primary…
  • Our Lives Re-Written

    Dan Cruver
    21 Jan 2014 | 6:11 am
    If you haven’t already, let me encourage you to listen to second sermon (“Our Lives Re-Written”) that Mike Reeves preached at our 2013 national conference at Southern Seminary in Louisville, KY. He does a masterful job of connecting the love of the Father for His Son to the believer’s compassion for orphaned and vulnerable children. Here’s the climax of Mike’s sermon:This is Jesus of Nazareth’s ministry manifesto… “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim…
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    Cheese Curds and Kimchi-Our international adoption story

  • A few things to check out

    12 Apr 2014 | 12:58 pm
    I'd love to sit down and write out a nice long post. But the entire household is asleep (including the dog) and I'm savoring this little bit of quiet time!Wanted to share these adoption related things that I've run across. Thought some of you might find them interesting.Adoptionland: From Orphans to ActivistsThis Kindle e-book is available right now on Amazon for free. It's normally $9.99. I'm an Amazon Prime member so I'm not sure if it's free to everyone right now, or how long this will be available.Ever wondered what it’s like to be adopted? This anthology begins with personal accounts…
  • What was missing: deciding to have two kids

    3 Apr 2014 | 11:45 am
    Brothers. © Cheese Curds and KimchiWe picked up Little Man from school and loaded him into his car seat. Just an average Tuesday, with the exception that The Man was joining us for the pick-up.Little Man chatted about his day and munched on his snack. Little Brother was saying "mamamama" which means food in Korean. I watched as The Man adjusted his rear-view to see the boys in the backseat and I saw his eyes get a bit teary. He looked long and hard at the Dynamic Duo and then turned to me."This is the first time they've both been in the car," he smiled. "It's a strange feeling of…
  • One week

    21 Mar 2014 | 7:45 pm
    Time passes when you are having fun. Or expanding your family. Take your pick.In our case, today marks one week since we arrived bleary-eyed from Seoul and started living life as a family of four. I can hardly believe how quickly everything is going by!In fact, it went so quickly that a week had passed before we managed to get the whole gang into a photo. We are adjusting well here. Dare I say, great? I'm not being pessimistic here, but still very much in the watch and see category. But really, things are good.Little Man continues to amaze us. He's a patient brother which is perhaps one of…
  • Finally a family of four!

    16 Mar 2014 | 8:05 pm
    We are back! I thought I would be able to blog from Korea, but the Google Gods blocked me from logging in. Boo.Now though, we are home and there's not a ton of time to catch up. I'll catch you up on our trip soon, but for now, know that we are settling in and things are going pretty well. Little Man is having a tough time sharing his mommy and daddy, but he's been a great big brother right from the start. He likes helping with diaper changes and feeding. And he is happy to show his brother the toys and give him kisses.Melt.Little Brother is a happy-go-lucky guy and seems to feel right at…
  • Helping children learn Korean

    9 Mar 2014 | 5:00 am
    We are plugging along on our Korean language here. I'm in my second semester of Korean at the local university. It was really easy to learn to read. And from there, super easy to memorize lots of words (animals, colors, things, etc.). But after that, putting together sentences....not so easy!Little Man, however, is soaking up things at the rate of a dry sponge in a pool. I can't believe how fast he memorizes words. He's constantly asking me how to say things in Korean and keeping me on my toes!Our recent Korea trip reaffirmed my belief that it's really important to help our children learn to…
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    I'm A Foster

  • Getting A Drivers License As A Foster Kid

    17 Apr 2014 | 10:36 pm
      To many kids turning 16 is one of the most exciting days of their lives. With turning 16 comes getting a drivers license. It's the license of freedom all most every teenager looks forward to getting. Hours of driving with family members to get enough hours under the belt finally paying off. Unfortunately for many foster kids it's harder to obtain the goal of getting that freedom. For many foster kids turning 16 does not mean getting a drivers license. When I was placed into foster care the summer I was getting ready to turn 16. I didn't have my permit at that that point. My…
  • Should Some Foster Kids Be "Grateful"?

    30 Mar 2014 | 11:17 pm
     After writing a post about things I disliked hearing in foster care, there were a lot of comments regarding foster children being told by their foster parents, that they should be thankful. This is something that has been said to me many times before, but not something I had a strong opinion on myself. There are many things said to you or about you as a foster kid so I found it best to have a tough skin. This was mainly in reference to the question: If a foster kid is not being "grateful" for what they have or not realizing that others have it worse, is it a bad thing to remind them…
  • 4 Impactful Things Foster Parents Can Say To Foster Kids

    15 Mar 2014 | 9:52 am
       After I wrote about 5 things I disliked hearing as a foster kid, I was asked a great question: what things DID it help me to hear through foster care.  I had a set of foster parents that really made and impact on me with the way treated me during my time with them. Many of the things they said not only helped me through foster care, but also left an impact on me as I've become an adult. With that said here 4 awesome things, which as a foster kid especially, made me feel awesome:“I’m proud of you and you should be proud too!” I hadn’t really heard this too…
  • 5 Things I Disliked Hearing As A Foster Kid

    2 Mar 2014 | 8:06 pm
    "What are you in foster care for?"  I’m not a very open person with people I don’t know anyway but I think this is a hard question for any kid. Most kids aren’t put in foster care because they messed up, it’s their parents fault. How do you answer this question; “My parent’s beat me”, ” My parents care more about drugs then me”,  ”My parents died”, “The state took me”, or maybe even “I don’t know”. Any of those responses doesn’t sound good and not really something I want to talk about. It’s one of those things that I sits in the back of your mind…
  • Being A Kinship Carer- My Brother's Call Me "Brad"

    3 Feb 2014 | 6:56 pm
      Sometimes my brothers call me "Brad". The first time I heard it I really didn't realize what they meant by it. At first I thought it was like calling me a common name just for fun like "Bob" or "Joe". When they told me it was for brother/dad it made me chuckle at how crazy kinship care is. Around 2.7 million kids are being taking care of by kin other than their parents in the United States. Some would think that this family situation would run pretty smoothly, but as many kinship carers already know that’s not always the case. Though a great alternative to the typical foster care…
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    Adopting While Abroad

  • Why some children are so volatile

    16 Apr 2014 | 1:51 pm
    One moment your child is clinging to you at breakfast, with loving arms encircling your neck.  The next moment she screams and smashes the cereal bowl following a simple request to wipe Cheerios off the table.  That same child, who was just doting on you, is now reminding you that you’re the worst parent ever, there’s never been anyone more horrible than you, and she wants to hurt you.  You’re bewildered.  You ask yourself why this is happening when the same request the day before yielded swift compliance—a completely different response. Does reading this bring validation, intense…
  • Haiti allows adoptions under Hague Agreement

    11 Apr 2014 | 10:20 am
    Haiti has signed the Hague Convention on Protection of Children and Co-Operation in Respect of  Intercountry  Adoption and will allow adoptions to begin again with new requirements in place. The US Department of State has warned there may be some delays as the new program is implemented in the country. Some of the changes include a reduction in the age requirement of prospective parents from 35 years to a minimum of 30 years. Additionally, they have reduced the amount of time a couple must be married before trying to adopt from from 10 years to 5. Haiti is allowing only some adoption…
  • Guide for dealing with trauma

    11 Apr 2014 | 5:44 am
    The American Psychological Association (APA) has a guide to help foster and adoptive families cope with trauma. The free guide makes it clear that one should begin with the premise that all foster and adopted children have had trauma in their lives. At a minimum they have suffered a great loss, at a maximum they have been abused or neglected. The APA hopes the guide will help strengthen the abilities of pediatricians to: 1) identify traumatized children, 2) educate families about toxic stress and the possible biological, behavioral, and social manifestations of early childhood trauma, and 3)…
  • Ethiopian Adoption Search Registry

    8 Apr 2014 | 7:03 am
    A new website helps Ethiopian birth families find and connect with their children who were adopted abroad. Ethiopian Adoption Connection was created with the goal of matching Ethiopian birth families with their children adopted abroad. Our priority is helping those who cannot search or who have searched and been unsuccessful. Many adoptive families are fortunate enough to receive identifiable information about their child’s family of origin, and they share that information with their adopted child. Others are able to open their adoptions through searching post adoption. However, there are…
  • What is attachment-focused therapy?

    8 Apr 2014 | 5:12 am
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  • Nightwolf Show: Patricia Busbee and Trace DeMeyer FRIDAY

    17 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    Winter Nightwolf Productions, LLCPresentsJay Winter Nightwolf’s “American Indians’ Truths … the Most Dangerous Show on Radio” WPFW 89.3 FM (Pacifica) - Friday Afternoon – 1-2 PMOnline Live Stream … Friday, April 18th, 2014 “Called Home”Patricia Busbee (Cherokee/Shawnee/Welsh/German)Trace DeMeyer (Cherokee)“Two Native Women That Were Victimized by The American Indian Adoption Project”…and A Glimpse Into Their Past and Where They Are TODAY!!!visit:
  • Minnesota tribes adopt home visits

    16 Apr 2014 | 3:00 am
    smudging with sage is our traditionBy Pioneer staff reports on Mar 27, 2014 SOURCE BEMIDJI — A new program is being introduced to area tribes through the Minnesota Department of Health (MDH). Family Spirit is an American Indian program designed by American Indians that has proven successful in other states to support new parents. The program includes tribal health staff, many of whom are American Indian themselves, who support young parents with 63 lessons to be taught from pregnancy up to the child’s third birthday.American Indian babies die in the first year of life at twice the…
  • #ICWA means standing strong

    15 Apr 2014 | 6:05 am
    Leland Morrill Kirk, Navajo adoptee with Ft Lauderdale Mayor Jack Seiler, NICWA Conference — at Hyatt Regency Pier Sixty-Six | Fort Lauderdale, FL. Leland and many other adoptees are presenting at this conference in Florida. Associate Attorney General Tony West Delivers Remarks at the National Indian Child Welfare Association’s 32nd Annual Protecting Our Children ConferenceMonday, April 14, 2014Thank you, Theodore and Alex, for that kind introduction and for inviting me to join you today at this conference.  It is wonderful to be here with so many friends, colleagues, and…
  • #Baby Veronica #ICWA: Future Threats coming

    14 Apr 2014 | 3:09 am
    Another book about this appalling historyThe Adoption Crunch, the Christian Right, and the Challenge to Indian SovereigntyBy Kathryn JoyceAbout Kathryn JoyceKathryn Joyce is the author of The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking and the New Gospel of Adoption and Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement (Beacon Press 2009). Her work has appeared in the New York Times, the Nation, Slate, Mother Jones, the Atlantic, and many other publications. Print PDFWhile the demand for adoptable babies is increasing in the United States—driven in large part by evangelical Christians—the…
  • The Money behind the Madness #Adoption

    13 Apr 2014 | 8:56 am
    From Trace: If you think adoption is about children, well then I have an article for you:Child “protection” is one of the biggest businesses in the country. We spend $12 billion a year on it. The money goes to tens of thousands of a) state employees, b) collateral professionals, such as lawyers, court personnel, court investigators, evaluators and guardians, judges, and c) DSS contracted vendors such as counselors, therapists, more “evaluators”, junk psychologists, residential facilities, foster parents, adoptive parents, MSPCC, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, YMCA, etc. This…
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    Infant Adoption Guide

  • 9 Adoption Profile Design & Creation Services

    Tim Elder
    10 Apr 2014 | 4:23 pm
    Adoption profiles are one of the most important ways to connect with prospective birthparents. The profile is your opportunity to make a great first impression. It is a powerful way to show who you are, what your family life is like, and what you can provide a child. Can you imagine looking through dozens and […]
  • IAG 017: How adoption consultants can help you with Nicole Witt from The Adoption Consultancy

    Tim Elder
    4 Apr 2014 | 9:41 am
    In this episode, we talk about adoption consultants – and how they can help you on the domestic infant adoption journey. Are you feeling stuck or overwhelmed on your domestic infant adoption journey? Have you considered working with an adoption consultant? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that 100% of […]
  • 5 tips to get through your adoption home study

    Tim Elder
    29 Mar 2014 | 8:48 am
    The first thing you need to know about an adoption home study – they are to help you adopt, not to try and keep you from adopting. All families must complete the home study process before a baby can be placed with you. The home study helps ensure a good match is made between children […]
  • IAG 016: What you need to know about adoption attorneys with Mark McDermott

    Tim Elder
    21 Mar 2014 | 1:04 pm
    In episode 16, you’ll learn what you need to know about adoption attorneys. When hopeful adoptive families start the process of domestic infant adoption, we can easily get overwhelmed as there are so many ways to adopt in the U.S. Working with an attorney may not be the first thing we think about when starting our […]
  • Questions to ask adoption agency references – what you should ask and why + a BONUS just for you

    Tim Elder
    13 Mar 2014 | 6:53 am
    Trying to find the right adoption agency to help build your family can be a daunting task. Most hopeful adoptive families get overwhelmed with how to choose – and for good reason. There are over 2000 agencies and attorneys in the U.S. – so where do you start? Thankfully, there are some resources to help – […]
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    All In The Family Adoption

  • To Search or Not To Search (with apologies to Shakespeare)

    Kellie C
    6 Apr 2014 | 2:15 pm
    Robin and I have had conversations about her experience reuniting with her biological family and my expectations of my granddaughter wanting to re-unite with us one day, so we decided to write a joint post to shed some light on key issues in search and reunion and how they differ for us due to our different perspectives. And, hopefully, to dispel some myths.Robin:  Adopted persons who search are not smarter, more interesting, more curious, or in any way, shape, or form better people than those who choose not to search. Every person in a closed adoption was put there without his…
  • Open Hearted Open Adoption

    Kellie C
    4 Apr 2014 | 7:05 am
    AmazonNOTE:  This is actually a post I wrote a while ago when Lori Holden's book first came out. I found it while going through some of my old stuff.  I couldn't post it after I wrote it, but I've come to feel differently after letting it sit for a while.   The Open-Hearted Way To Open Adoption: Helping Your Child Grow Up Whole by Lori Holden with Crystal Haas should be required reading for every adoptive parent, potential adoptive parent and every expectant mother considering relinquishing their child to adoption.  If you find yourself uncomfortable with any of the…
  • Happy Birthday, Olivia!

    Kellie C
    24 Mar 2014 | 12:29 pm
    Dear Olivia,You are 4 years old today! You are growing up so fast!  We hope your birthday is fun and full of surprises, and we want you to know we love you and miss you and wish we could be there to celebrate with you. Love,Your First Family
  • Yes, Virginia, there is an OBC

    Kellie C
    9 Mar 2014 | 2:48 pm
    By RobinThe newly elected Attorney General of Virginia,  Democrat Mark Herring, reversed his position on gay marriage within two weeks of taking office. He won the election by a very slim margin and part of his platform was supporting the ban. After assuming office, he announced that he could no longer uphold the ban because it violates the equal protection of the law provision as specified in the 14th amendment to the Constitution of the United States. Well, my question is ...Then how can it be lawful to treat adopted persons…
  • Ain't I an Adoptee?

    Kellie C
    10 Feb 2014 | 3:13 pm
    by RobinThe title for this post is taken from what is, in my opinion, one of the greatest historical speeches ever written.  It is titled, "Ain't I a Woman?", and was written and delivered by the 19th century feminist and abolitionist, Sojourner Truth. Please click on the link, from Fordham University of New York, to read the speech in its entirety. I think there is much for us to learn and to emulate from Ms. Truth's words.By now everyone has heard about the brouhaha over Melissa Harris-Perry and her comment about Mitt Romney's black grandson, and about NPR and their lack of…
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    The Adoption Trail - 4 Generations

  • Birthday Wishes Mom

    Jill Methvin
    10 Apr 2014 | 7:25 pm
    Mom sleeps most of the time, so she didn’t know when Tandra arrived.  What I find amazing with grandchildren is that they enjoy what I consider to be annoying work.  We hired a man to tar our driveway, and two of our dogs got outside by accident.  Our mini-dachshund, Oscar, flopped over on his back […]
  • ACLU and Catholic Church Team Up Against Pennsylvania Adoption Bill

    Jill Methvin
    22 Mar 2014 | 6:41 am
    The Pennsylvania legislature has a bill HB 162 to open original records to adoptees.  Unfortunately, the ACLU and the Catholic Church have teamed up to stop the bill from going through. “Evil thrives when good people do nothing,” by Edmund Burke. Or worse, when good people encourage it.  That goes for the church too.  Roe […]
  • How Ohio Right to Life Could Include the Full Adoption Triad into their Bill.

    Jill Methvin
    19 Mar 2014 | 10:00 am
    No one likes to be ignored and trivialized especially those who feel that they have something to share that would make a difference.  If you have been traumatized because of adoption, you want to see changes.  There is an entire herd of us with similar experiences, why ignore us?  Not all of us have pretty […]
  • Adopt a Dog – Adopt a Baby and Ohio Right to Life wants you to get $10,000

    Jill Methvin
    17 Mar 2014 | 11:48 am
    First, I love my dogs.  When I had my 14 year old doxie put down in July I cried harder and had a longer recovery time than I did when some family members passed away.  However, animals and children should not be put in the same category.  The children in this category are already extremely […]
  • Trayvon Martin and Jordan Davis Dead Because They’re Black?

    Jill Methvin
    2 Mar 2014 | 8:48 am
    U.S. has Declared Open Season on Teenage Black Boys.  My sympathies go out to all the African American mothers of teenage sons across the U.S.  Honestly, I can say I thought that as a country we had come further since Martin Luther King Jr. walked this land than this.  Two teenage black boys shot and […]
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