Adoption

Birthmother Adoption Grief
Return Adult Adoptees the Right to their Original Birth Certificates

5 Feb 2010 | 12:37 pm

Granting Adoptees Access to their OBC's Change.org has a nifty constest/ promo going on and adoptee rights has a nice place on it! The 10 ideas that receive the most votes by the end of the competition will be presented at an event in Washington, DC to relevant officials in the Obama Administration. If the Adoptee Rights is among the top 10 ideas, it will then be promoted to Change.org's entire Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
Acknowledgement, Validation, Apologies, and Parenting

19 Jan 2010 | 9:03 pm

I have learned so much from being a parent.I have learned so much from being thrust into the reality of adoption. I have learned so much form my journey online. I have learned so much from the pain of life. My head has been spinning lately and my heart feels heavy. I haven't been writing because I have been thinking too fast. Life keeps coming and I can't find the time to regroup. Writing is Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
New York City Area Birthmothers: Opportunities to Speak Out!

18 Jan 2010 | 5:31 pm

Must be something in the air. Heading into NYC Tomorrow For a Birthmother DocumentaryLooking really forward to the day in the city. Bonnie and I, my live-in-the-same-town-now-were-pregnant-andrelinquished-at-the-same-time friend, are both going down tomorrow for filming. And added bonus: We are meeting up with Suz and Kish! More Moms Who Relinquished NeededGregg Grossman is the documentary film Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
Darryl McDaniels & Zara Phillips Adoptee Rights Video

18 Jan 2010 | 5:09 pm

Adoptees Video says I'm Legit Unfortunately, the laws still say that they are not. Please, rate the video on YouTube, comment, share etc. The more good attention it gets over theri the higher it will show up on the YT searches.. and the more it will be seen. The 16 year old inside me is still broken hearted that I didn't get over to the actual video filming. I guess I will never get to cross Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
2010 Bring it On!

3 Jan 2010 | 7:40 pm

Ah. ...a new year. Despite it's less than auspicious beginnings ( I felt kind of icky in the belly going into New Year's Eve celebrations and champagne did not help; so the first of the year was most unpleasant and often found me moaning in the loo), I feel good about 2010. A Decade gets it DueI usually pretty impresses by the turning of a decade. Even though I kind of felt that this new decade Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

Anti-Adoption
I didn’t have bad parents, and I didn’t have a bad “adoption”

Gershom

22 Jan 2010 | 6:06 pm

I am sick, and i mean sick of people overlooking all of the content on these blogs, studies, websites, books, articles about separation trauma and the damage the legalities of adoption does regardless of the experience thereafter. What is in this thick, ignorant water they are feeding into the general public and adoptive parents and koolaid [...]
Everyday I leave him

Gershom

20 Jan 2010 | 7:10 pm

Damn, now that I weeded through the shitbox full of comments from angry paps and happy adoptees nailing me to the cross and telling me i’d never make it to the land of milk and honey, I can finally sit back and write from my core and talk about the nitty gritty of being an [...]
I will get to comments in a bit :)

Gershom

21 Nov 2009 | 7:10 pm

Wooo its been a busy week, there are definitely some comments I want to address, but haven’t had the time in the past few days. I will get to you, I haven’t forgotten. I will email you too improper just give me a bit )
Reply to Christine from – post 861

Gershom

15 Nov 2009 | 11:06 pm

Recently in the thead - It is so wrong to adopt someone else’s child because you can’t have one of your own.…. A comment was left by Christine ( read the comment here ) and there is so much I”d like to reply to, i’m giving it, its own post. I have read views similar [...]
If you can’t love me the way I want to be loved, then we shouldn’t have a relationship

Gershom

12 Nov 2009 | 3:02 pm

Take the title of this post in for a second…. It was said to me recently by my amother. I ran a bill up on an account of hers, which I shouldn’t have done, and it triggered this spiral of emotions in each of us. It seems to happen every 5 years or so and [...]

Ethnically Incorrect Daughter
Mother (Nguyen Thi Hue), searching for Son (Do Phi Bang) and Daughter (Do Phi Yen)

sume

8 Feb 2010 | 4:02 pm

Received via AVI: My name is Huy Nguyen and my mom has been looking for my half brother and sister since 1975 without much luck. I’m hoping you can help me with some leads and or possibly finding them. The note below is from my mother. Her Vietnamese name is Nguyen Thi Hue. Thank you in [...]
Polar

sume

28 Jan 2010 | 12:08 pm

I huddled down over the candle as if my life depended on it. Pooh laughed as I shivered uncontrollably. Neither of us had anticipated the arctic storm that had blown in over night. The outside temperature had dropped to 17 degrees by morning. We’d both come in from work to find not much difference between [...]
Becoming the workaholic

sume

28 Nov 2009 | 4:02 pm

He walked into the room with a copy of Vietnam – America’s Conflict and said, “You should watch this. It might give you an idea of what I saved you from.” “Sure, Dad,” I said without looking at him. Saved. How many times have I heard that word since coming back? Hearing it repeatedly makes me [...]
Momma

sume

5 Nov 2009 | 10:56 am

pic by sume Stepmother, who I was closest to of all my mothers, had prepared everything to the best of her ability. Rooms were ready to be re-arranged to allow us to squeeze between the empty spaces she’d made for us. I’d forgotten how much I’d missed her when I’d left. She’d been my best friend [...]
Cycles

sume

10 Oct 2009 | 3:03 pm

As I walked to the end of the driveway, the loud crunch of the rocks reminded me of too many restless nights of wandering, always wondering. Though this was a different driveway, the atmosphere was similar enough. This one was shorter and led to a rock road rather than a highway, but the loud, [...]

Ungrateful Little Bastard
Next Long Island Adoptee Meetup - Wednesday - January 20th

Ungrateful Little Bastard

19 Jan 2010 | 2:30 am

If you're on the Island, c'mon down.Click here to check outThe Long Island Adoptees Meetup Group!
I'm Legit by Zara Phillips, featuring DMC

Ungrateful Little Bastard

18 Jan 2010 | 6:29 am

You know the drill -- head on over to YouTube to favorite, comment, and rate.
A Simple Life

Ungrateful Little Bastard

26 Dec 2009 | 7:25 am

OK so I tried to do that password-protect blogger post thingy, but I couldn't get the line breaks to work so I had just one big chunk of text. And I hate that. So I threw it over here instead. Hit me up at any of the familiar places if you want the password. Alternately, if you know how to do that password-protect blogger post thingy and still get multiple paragraphs to display properly, lemme know.In other news, I had briefly considered playing hooky from XMas to stay home and start Joan's book Forbidden Family, but then I actually did get a sore throat and fever. So I spent XMas reading,…
Sunshine the Movie

Ungrateful Little Bastard

21 Dec 2009 | 4:44 pm

And even more adoption on TV...Coming this spring on PBS's INDEPENDENT LENS:An unplanned pregnancy for an unplanned girl sets off SUNSHINE, a playful, yet ultimately stirring self-portrait of an adopted woman driven to search for answers through reconnection with her biological mother. Young, pregnant, single and unprepared, the daughter/director struggles with the incredible ironies of the family—that history somehow repeated itself—as she struggles to raise her own daughter and understand the plight of her biological mother, a small town Texas mayors daughter who gave birth to her…
But wait! There's more!

Ungrateful Little Bastard

16 Dec 2009 | 6:27 pm

As if, between The Locator and Find My Family and last week's 'Lost Children' on 20/20, you haven't had enough adoption on TV, check out this snip of adoptodrama in today's NY Post about a new show on Investigation Discovery premiering tomorrow night - "The Will - Family Secrets Revealed": First up: the battle over the estate left by 73-year-old Kitty Tipton-Oakes, widow of a famous jazz musician.In 2006, Kitty, who suffered from dementia, died without a will, leaving an estate worth 300 Gs, which was to be sorted out among three missing adopted sons (two of whom hadn't spoken to her in 25…

Wet Feet
no title

Kateri T.

1 Feb 2010 | 1:55 pm

It's not that I don't love you, blog. Of course not. Don't ever get the idea that it's you, this is totally me. All my fault. It's just that I"m a different person than I was when we met, and I've grown to need so many other things. You really haven't grown at all, blog. You are still basically the same as you were in 2004.Silly breakup metaphors aside, 6 years ago, when you could almost count the number of parenting bloggers on both hands, when an arena existed in which this goofball could be Kind of a Big Deal (hi Jo!). My lifestyle was the absolute…
FYI

Kateri T.

23 Sep 2009 | 9:29 pm

I thought you might want to know what my hair looks like now. Voila. It's blue. And magenta. And green.Every day, people on the street tell me they love my hair color. I never get tired of it. My hair is fucking rad. I love having blue hair. I feel supernatural, like a faery, or something that's nearly human but not quite. The only downside is that it's nearly impossible to go incognito. People remember the blue-haired chick with eyes on her back who's name is Kateri. Anonymity is the impossible dream. Soon, I think I will color over the blue with transluscent blue-black.
Equinox

Kateri T.

22 Sep 2009 | 3:28 am

There are ten bags of trash on my sidewalk today. I am chucking literal and metaphorical shit out the door. Again.I've come to the point where I can't believe in my own transformation because I've made the effort so many times before. How many times have I shucked off the excess only to gather it around me again more quickly than I could have imagined? Something feels different this time but I am quick to downplay the significance. I am tired of disappointing myself. I am tired of letting down the people who dare to have faith in me. My house has been such a catastrophic mess…
Fancy meeting YOU here

Kateri T.

17 Sep 2009 | 8:29 pm

"Hi! Wow, it's been ages! How've you been? Oh my god! That's so interesting! I, um, have to go, um, wash my hair or something! Yeah, I have a headache! Yeeaaaaaah. It was so great to see you! Take care! Byeee!"Jesus gay, I'm sorry, blog! But that's the treatment you've been getting from me whenever I see the link to post in my bookmarks. The same greeting I would give someone I met one night at a bar and promptly forgot about.You deserve better, blog. I put so much energy into you, in the yesteryears. And now when I see you I treat you like a cheap one…
Multimedia message

Kateri T.

2 Jul 2009 | 1:34 pm

That's the back of a boombox circa 1985. And that's an Ipod hooked up to it. And up top there is the foot of a hipster who has gone too far.

Rights of Adoptees
IN LOVING MEMORY OF A BROTHER

Mary Lynn Fuller

2 Feb 2010 | 5:46 pm

At the age of 56 my beloved brother John lost a long courageous battle with cancer. As I once told him, he was a true inspiration to all cancer patients plus those going through any type of tough trial. John was one to radiate love and encouragement. He often said, "you do what you have to do" with no sign of self pity.When it seemed that the end was approaching, friends asked how they should pray for John. I told them to ask God for it to be His will that John not become bedfast. He was always so active that I was concerned about how miserable he would become if completely immobile. I can…
Adoptees and Medical History

Mary Lynn Fuller

13 Jan 2010 | 4:28 pm

It is not uncommon these days to pick up a magazine and read about the importance of knowing one's family medical history. Of course I never read anything about all the adopted adults who don't hold a clue about their own. Although I'm a reunited adoptee and know a lot about my own my heart goes out to those who don't.There are social workers and legislators who think medical history provided by a birth mother at the time of relinquishment is sufficient. They don't seem to care that even just a few days later she might have been diagnosed with a serious illness. I doubt that there are too…
ADOPTION SLOGAN I DO NOT LIKE

Mary Lynn Fuller

30 Nov 2009 | 6:00 am

It would make me very happy for "Adoption Not Abortion" to be replaced with "God says: My Life is Precious". I know that there is at least one adoptee who feels adoption and abortion gets rid of "the problem". It is one of the most absurd things I have ever read. I'm sure that many birth mothers would back me up by agreeing that a baby is not "a problem". For an unwed mother to become pregnant creates a predicament that must be dealt with. Sometimes even married women have a decision to make as to raise a baby or to plan relinquishment. But human life is just that and should not be…
NATIONAL ADOPTION AWARENESS MONTH

Mary Lynn Fuller

6 Nov 2009 | 6:20 am

There is frequent mention over the Internet these days about placing children in adoptive homes.Dave Thomas, the founder of Wendy's was always saying, "all children deserve a loving, permanent home". I do agree but it always seemed to me that Dave did not care about the children beyond that. It is like he never gave thought to the children becoming adults and being curious about their origins or possibly needing to know birth family medical history. Now that Dave is deceased his Foundation seems to be continuing on just as he. I found Dave to be pathetic and the same goes for his Foundation.
IN MEMORY OF MY BIRTH MOTHER

Mary Lynn Fuller

27 Oct 2009 | 6:14 am

The search for my birth family took over 20 years and it was unfortunate that my birth mother died from breast cancer during that time. I would have loved to have gotten to know her. I do cherish hearing memories shared by my siblings and other family members.So far I've been fortunate but a benign lumpectomy was quite scary and that was even before I knew my birth mother was deceased. I can't help but feel that taking Raloxifine for five years has been beneficial. I can not stress enough the importance of mammograms. Women at high risk should talk to their physician about prevention.Susan G.

Photostream from Daylife

Motherhood Deleted
Just Because Sometimes, Ya Gotta Laugh

Robin

8 Feb 2010 | 2:26 pm

I, unabashadly, admit to stealing this from a friend who posted it on a private group.....and I don't care! I want this to be thought of as a moment away from the dreary and depressing world of adoption separation. I want to put on a purple dress, a red hat and act silly. Oh, I Wish I'd Looked After Me Tits By Pam Ayres Oh, I wish I'd looked after me dear old knockers, Not flashed them to boys behind the school lockers,Or let them get fondled by randy old dockers,Oh, I wish I'd looked after me tits.'Cos now I'm much older and gravity's winning.It's Nature's revenge for all that…
A Lady With A Past

Robin

5 Feb 2010 | 4:16 am

That lady with the feces-eating grin, in the center of this picture is Laura Silsby. As the saga unfolds about her and the other nine "rescuers" who tried to leave Haiti with 33 children, we learn more and more about this shady lady."According to a report in her hometown newspaper, the Idaho Statesman, Ms. Silsby, the founder and C.E.O. of PersonalShopper.com, is being sued by a former employee for unpaid wages and by a law firm for unpaid fees. The Statesman reports that she is due in a Boise court next Wednesday in connection with the suit by her former marketing director — a jury trial…
Bottlenecks R Them

Robin

3 Feb 2010 | 2:51 pm

(* quote below stolen from Bastardette's blog page*)"Worse than thieves, murderers, or cannibals, those who offer compromise slow you and sap your vitality while pretending to be your friends. Compromisers are the enemy of all humanity, the enemies of life itself. Compromisers are the enemies of everything important, sacred and true."~ L. Neil SmithI am so often reminded, when I watch established "adoption reformers" doing their thing, of Albert Camus' 'Myth of Sisyphus.' Poor Sisyphus was doomed to spend eternity rolling a huge boulder to the top of a high hill, only to have it roll…
Things Are Getting Religiously Ridiculous

Robin

1 Feb 2010 | 5:59 am

"We can tell him he's adopted when he's older." As I keep up with the farce going on with the different religious groups trying to harvest Haitian children, I can't help but wonder what the man, in whose name these nutbars do their deeds, would think. If he is, indeed, historically genuine and if he said even a part of what is attributed to him, I think he would be less than pleased. Where did Jesus say, "steal the little children and give them to only those who think they follow me?"The LDS are the latest to merit a very good article posted by Bastardette. And the good old…
About That Pregnant Teen....

Robin

31 Jan 2010 | 5:03 am

Now that I have come to the defense of the pregnant teen, I find it necessary to make some distinctions and give some, probably unwanted, advice. I do not advocate teens having deliberate pregnancies. With those of us from the BSE, stuff happened. The reason stuff happened is that we were woefully undereducated about sex and reproduction and had no access to birth control or safe, legal pregnancy termination. There sure were no morning after pills to be had. That is something the younger generation seems to find unbelievable but it is true. Teens and unmarried women were denied…

Production, Not Reproduction
A Blanket Apology

Heather

8 Feb 2010 | 4:13 am

To anyone who has emailed me, asked a question in the comments, or even just stopped by here expecting to, you know, read something in the last few weeks: my apologies. Life is bursting at the seams right now. Some happy reasons, some busy-at-work reasons, some blah reasons. (Check the timestamp on this post if you dare. I'm up with two coughing, wheezy kids and haven't been to sleep yet.) The busy-ness of life ebbs and flows and right now it's all flow. All that to say that I'm not getting much time to keep up with my lovely internet friends. Or clean our house--although that…
Medius Aevum

Heather

31 Jan 2010 | 5:02 pm

Today is my birthday! I turned 35, thus joining the 35-54 year old demographic group. Next step: senior citizen-hood. This morning we took the kids out to brunch at our neighborhood diner and a walk by the river. Now I get to curl up with a cup of tea and a new book (reading in the middle of the day!) before dinner at my parents' house. I've been remembering back to ten years ago a lot this week. Twenty-five was the closing year of a certain phase of my life in many ways. At 26 I would marry, move, return to grad school, and decide that what was looking to be a promising career…
Open Adoption Roundtable #13

My name is Andy.

26 Jan 2010 | 7:30 am

The Open Adoption Roundtable is a series of occasional writing prompts about open adoption. It's designed to showcase of the diversity of thought and experience in the open adoption community. You don't need to be part of the Open Adoption Bloggers list to participate, or even be in a traditional open adoption. If you're thinking about openness in adoption, you have a place at the table.Publish your response during the next two weeks--linking back here so we can all find one other--and leave a link to your post in the comments. If you don't blog, you can always leave your thoughts directly in…
For This Season

Heather

25 Jan 2010 | 4:32 pm

I'm pretty sure I've written before about the idea of relationships as potted plants. (Yep.) It's a simple image and goes something like this: Potting a plant takes a bit of thought and fussing the beginning. You need to select the right size pot, think about the soil mix, find just the right sunny spot for it. As it grows, you need to supply its basic needs: water it regularly, fertilize it every now and then, watch for signs it might be faltering. But for the most part, you need to let it be. Give it time to grow and thrive. If you're constantly pulling it out of the pot to study its roots,…
Ack. Again, I Say, Ack

Heather

20 Jan 2010 | 3:26 am

I seem to have run smack into some sort of giant blogging wall. A wall built out of bricks made from winter-writer's-block and too-much-going-on. Bullet points it is, then: I'm part of a small group at Big Church that meets to study justice issues. One of our most recent topics was global human trafficking and I tossed some of the current ethical challenges in international adoption into the discussion. People asked some good questions. I get used to the defensiveness that so often characterizes online discussions about adoption ethics (on all sides of the issue), but I've found that…

Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform (PEAR)
MEDIA: Kazakhstan - Majilis passed ratification of convention on protection of children and foreign adoption

PEAR

7 Feb 2010 | 9:38 am

Majilis passed ratification of convention on protection of children and foreign adoptionAstana. January 27. Kazakhstan Today - The deputies of Majilis at the plenary session passed the bill on ratification by Kazakhstan of Convention on Protection of Children and Cooperation in Respect of Intercountry Adoption, the agency reports. According to the Ministry of Education and Science of Kazakhstan, there is a tendency of increase of cases of adoption of children by Kazakhstan citizens. The citizens of the Republic adopted 3 thousand 44 children, which is by 271 children more than in 2008.
UPDATES: Ukraine, DOS issues two new Adoption Notices for Ukraine

PEAR

7 Feb 2010 | 9:33 am

Ukrainehttp://adoption.state.gov/news/ukraine.html Adoption NoticeU.S. DEPARTMENT OF STATEBureau of Consular AffairsOffice of Children’s Issues January 28, 2010 New Paper Work Requirments We would like to inform you about the new paperwork requirement for all adoption dossiers submitted to the Ukrainian State Department for Adoptions and Protection of the Rights of the Child (SDAPRC). All foreign adoptive parents will be required to add the following documents to their adoption dossiers: Three copies of both parents’ passports (instead of one), accompanied by Certified Ukrainian…
Haiti: USCIS FAQ Sheet February 4, 2010

PEAR

4 Feb 2010 | 1:56 pm

Office of CommunicationsUnited States Citizenhip and Immigration ServicesQuestions and AnswersFebruary 4, 2010Information for U.S. Citizens in the Process of Adopting a Child from HaitiIntroductionOn Jan. 12, 2010, Haiti experienced an earthquake of devastating proportions. This set of questions and answers provides information for United States citizens that have adopted a child or are in the process of adopting a child from Haiti prior to Jan. 12, 2010.Questions and AnswersQ. I am in the process of adopting a child from Haiti, what can I do to bring the child to the United States?A.
PEAR's Summary of the Teleconference of DHS, USCIS and HHS regarding Haitian Adoptions Status of February 3, 2010

PEAR

4 Feb 2010 | 10:10 am

The following is a summary of the teleconference of DHS, USCIS and HHS regarding Haitian Adoptions Status of February 3, 2010 from 3:00 pm to 4:45pm Families and concerned individualsare advised not to send emails urging quick processing etc.It will clog the email box. Statistics- 750 cases approved; 600 children already in US of approximately 1000 cases US has a good understanding based on trust with the Haitian government regarding the orphan processing.They are accepting US determinations of humanitarian parole for the children.There was a brief hiatus in processing cases when Haiti…
UPDATES: Nepal

PEAR

4 Feb 2010 | 8:52 am

Today PEAR has posted a lot of information on adoptions in Nepal on our Nepal specific blog. This includes information from the Nepal MOWCSW, media reports concerning a draft release of a report to the Hague, and adoption "irregularities" in Nepal. Please use this link to read what has been posted and refer to our Nepal blog for further updates and developments. http://pearadoptinfo-nepal.blogspot.comEthics, Transparency, Support~ What All Adoptions Deserve.http://www.pear-now.org/Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform www.pear-now.org

제인 정의 블로그 Jane's blog
Found on the bus

jjtrenka

3 Feb 2010 | 4:08 am

Ad found on the bus targets four types of Koreans who should go to this hagwon (not all pictured): 1. The person who can’t stand to go to one more English class. 2. The person who always goes to English class and always fails. 3. The person who can’t go to class steadily who can’t make progress and 4. The person who can’t open his mouth in front of foreigners. The Korean character says, “In front of foreigners, why do I become like a deaf-mute who ate honey?” “Because that foreigner is an arrogant prick ! That’s why,” says Jane.
New interviews

jjtrenka

28 Jan 2010 | 5:17 pm

with Jennifer Kwon Dobbs in A View From the Loft. with Emily Hartley in the Northfield News and a pre-Baptist interview with Amy Goetzman in the Minnesota Post
Upcoming talks

jjtrenka

26 Jan 2010 | 6:07 pm

My credit cards, cash card, and driver’s license are all expired, but I’m coming to the U.S. anyway! I’m going to talk about writing and TRACK. Here’s a list of upcoming events. Please check the events page for further updates. Thursday, Feb, 18, 2010, Kennesaw State University, Georgia. 3:30-5:00. Tuesday, Feb. 16, 2010. Moorhead State University. Asian American Studies class visit. Monday, Feb. 15, 2010 – Moorhead State University, Minnesota. Craft talk 4:00. Reading 8:00. Friday, Feb. 12, 2010 – St. Olaf College, Minnesota. Reading 7:00-9:00. Thursday, Feb.
On and Beyond Korean Adoption

jjtrenka

13 Nov 2009 | 4:34 am

Lee Herrick’s guest edited edition of Asian American Poetry and Writing is out. My contribution is an interview with Jennifer Kwon Dobbs and Sun Yung Shin. There’s also an excerpt from Fugitive Visions in it, and here is another different excerpt of FV from Korean Adoption Studies Journal. Enjoy.
Blogging at Conducive

jjtrenka

3 Nov 2009 | 5:38 pm

I started blogging at Conducive in an effort to reach a wider audience. I’ll still post things here, but I’ll also direct you over to Conducive for some articles. Cruise on over now to read my new article and see a photo of my birthmother mother. What does “Gotcha” mean? November is National Adoption Month. What would such a celebration of adoption, whether in the U.S. or another country, mean to my Korean birthmother? At the time my mother became a “birthmother,” I was six months old, and my sister was four years old. Because she passed away about nine years ago, I will…

The Daily Bastardette
LAURA SILSBY LOSES HER GRIP ON THE GANG; DID THE CON GET CONNED?

BD

8 Feb 2010 | 12:28 am

This is the first part of a 2-part blog, which was becoming too long for comfortable consumption. Part 1 is limited to the latest story coming out of Haiti on the break-up of Silsby's onsite New Lifers and allegations of attempted court bribery last week.The Laura Silsby child lifting case just keeps getting stranger.MSNBC reporter Kerry Sanders reported Saturday that one of Laura Silsby's "missionaries" slipped a note to his producer Don Wood during an off camera interview. Signed by eight of the 10 prisoners, the note said the detainees feared for their lives. And seemingly feared…
"IT JUST SMELLED LIKE CHILD TRAFFICKING TO ME" -- US ORPHANAGE DIRECTOR SAYS OF SILSBY & CO

BD

5 Feb 2010 | 9:46 pm

This nugget slipped through my fingers earlier this week. As far as I know, no one has picked up on the significance I think it has.Haiti judge quizzes US missionaries over child case was published February 3, 2010 by the BBC. The article includes an interview with Hal Nungester, director of HIS Home for Children which underwent a babylift I wrote about earlier. (You need to see the video from the link above. The full length article that you click on at the bottom of the video has a greatly edited version that excludes Nungester as does the article.)BBC: The director of this orphanage was…
IN THEIR OWN WORDS: NEW LIFERS ON A MISSION FOR GOD AND ADOPTION

BD

2 Feb 2010 | 10:47 pm

My original blog, from which this is taken, grew and grew, so I'm splitting it up. Part 1 is Laura Silsby, and Chaissa Coulter and others in their own words. Part 2 are the voices and narratives of the children and parents exploited by the Idaho christo-suburbanites. If the blog continues to grow I'll split it some more.Last night KTBV Boise aired an interview with Silsby. You can see the video and read the transcript hereBelow are some excerpts from the interview which show clearly that Silsby still doesn't comprehend that she cannot just pick up kids off the street and ship them off to…
TILA TEQUILA WANTS TO ADOPT HAITIAN ORPHANS

BD

1 Feb 2010 | 6:41 pm

I know this is not serious Haiti news, but I just had to comment.As if things can't get any worse in Haiti, now comes attention whore and obsessive tweeter Tila Tequila announcing she intends to adopt two (or three) Haitian "orphans." Of course this wouldn't happen even if hell freezes over.Numerous sources report that Tequila, apparently recovered from her suicidal tendencies over the December death of so-called fiancee Casey Johnson and her thwarted "attempt" to adopt Johnson's adopted daughter (another hell freezes over impossibility) tweeted her orphan saving intent yesterday. Last month…
POLITICAL ARMTWISTING IN PORT AU PRINCE: IT'S STILL ALL ABOUT ADOPTION, IT'S STILL ALL ABOUT US

BD

31 Jan 2010 | 10:45 pm

I've been meaning to post this addition to the Very Important Person Hall of Fame.On January 29, ABC 4 in Salt Lake City reported a baby lift story that involves Very Important Persons in Utah and beyond. The Very Important Person Magnet is Stephen Studdert, (a VIP in his own right) an adviser to Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan, and George H.W. Bush. You can read his bio on his Studdert Group webite.According to the ABC 4 report Studdert started the Utah Hospital Task Force and negotiated the "release" of 125 "orphans (the figure was later corrected) bound mostly for Salt Lake City and presumably…

Joy's Division
Being Given Away By Your Mother Is It’s Own Special Kind Of Hell

joy21

3 Feb 2010 | 10:38 pm

It really is. Once when Tomtom was in highschool he got in trouble and started to cry, “It feels like the two people who are supposed to love me the most, don’t” No, we just wanted him to go to fourth period. Of course, he is not adopted. Then it would be true. Maybe it is the hair, but this video from 1:04 to 1:09 reminds me so much of me. And Kurt getting his ass kicked at 1;16. Maybe I just really miss him. This video made me blame myself a lot less, which is considerable, because heaps of blame were lodged on me. For being born. And Yes, I deserved the best, but I sure…
Life Unexpected

joy21

31 Jan 2010 | 11:53 am

I continue to be impressed by this t.v. show. I watched the second episode yesterday on the computer. It is still candy-coated, friendly, and funny. Still all put together it sings for me. It brings up the real fact that put out for adoption does not mean “better life” necessarily. The “Christian the Lion” Leitmotif of the first episode was in perfect pitch. Last night the line where the other girl from the girls home tells the natural mom, “and even if there had been some great people out there who wanted Lux, you have the one thing that they don’t. You…
Freakin’ Americans

joy21

30 Jan 2010 | 7:24 pm

srsly The American Man’s Burden
I Never Thought This Would Happen

joy21

30 Jan 2010 | 8:25 am

I never thought when I started this blog in 2006, that I would still be blogging now. I had read a book about Buddhism and it encouraged me to look at the things I was afraid of looking at, and to stop, “self-improvement as it is a form of self-aggression” I was kind of a self-improvement addict at the time. I did stop, although I can use a little self-aggression, it works for me. So I have found more of a balance with that now. Okay so the first thing I didn’t think would last is this blog. Then I never thought I would participate in a forum, much less be the admin on one.
So Please

joy21

27 Jan 2010 | 2:11 am

I deal with suicidal adoptees every month. So please if I see one more freaking comment from a so called friend of mine explaining about how adoption can sometimes be for the best interest of the mother. Understand if I lack sympathy.

Kimchi Mamas
February Photo Share!

Kimchi

7 Feb 2010 | 10:00 pm

As a photographer, I have to admit that words often fail me, and I've been wondering how to contribute to the Kimchi Mama community. So I've decided to do what I know and start a monthly Photo Share post where...
Open Thread Thursday

Kimchi

3 Feb 2010 | 7:35 pm

The Olympics. The San Antonio Rodeo. My birthday . . . It's Open Thread Thursday. What's on YOUR mind? --Angie in Texas loves being in her 30's . . . no really!
My Favorite Korean Baby Words

Kimchi

1 Feb 2010 | 11:49 pm

Although I speak Korean fairly OK, I don't speak it to my kids all that much. But there are a few words that I use consistently and I thought I'd share them here! gee gee 지지 (pronounced like the letter...
Korean Enough

Kimchi

28 Jan 2010 | 11:16 am

When I first started blogging on Kimchi Mamas, my main interest was learning about ways in which I could instill a sense of Korean-ness (identity, culture, history, connection) in my daughter, who is one-quarter Korean. Being hapa, myself, I wrote...
Open Thread Friday?

Kimchi

22 Jan 2010 | 10:22 am

Sorry folks! We KNOW you were all DYING for Open Thread Thursday but we missed it. =) So, what's on your mind this Friday? Got any amazing plans for the weekend? Are you a bone marrow donor? - Mary

We all come from 'Seoul'
.... Gwyneth Palthrow learns to cook Veggie Bibimbap :)

Brit Sung Kyung Kim

19 Jan 2010 | 1:03 pm

"Inside-outs" from Korean Danish Adoptee, Copenhagen-based on adoption, identity and modern spirituality
Visit Korea Years 2010 - 2012 :)

Brit Sung Kyung Kim

10 Jan 2010 | 9:59 am

"Inside-outs" from Korean Danish Adoptee, Copenhagen-based on adoption, identity and modern spirituality
Bodhisattva in metro - who do you want to meet tomorrow on your way to work?

Brit Sung Kyung Kim

13 Dec 2009 | 12:50 pm

Thank you Sylvain for the link!and a warm and loving holiday season to all of you"Inside-outs" from Korean Danish Adoptee, Copenhagen-based on adoption, identity and modern spirituality
Tobu Korean style; simple to make - very delicious

Brit Sung Kyung Kim

25 Nov 2009 | 12:24 pm

Find the receipe here at Korea Times.Happy munching!"Inside-outs" from Korean Danish Adoptee, Copenhagen-based on adoption, identity and modern spirituality
Lemonade for Heidi and Bo and Laurits

Brit Sung Kyung Kim

14 Nov 2009 | 3:35 am

The Lemonade is given to someone special and dear, who takes the sour and bitter in life and adds sugar - turning it into lemonade - against all odds (as Betsy has taught me).I am passing on this blogger acknowledgement to my dear friend, H, who was pregnant - for 3 weeks..but the "door" didn't open this time. Only 7 days ago, I celebrated the new little seed with her and her husbond, we had dinner, laughing, joking and I always just loves their company. I left their place with a warmth and happiness in me for them, yet, feeling how fragile the moment is.. seeing the joy of being pregnant in…

omegamom.com
Quick update

omegamom

25 Jan 2010 | 10:34 pm

Since I know some of mom’s regular readers are reading, here’s a quick recap of what’s been going on: When I got here, she was not herself. She wasn’t getting enough oxygen, was very weak and tired (couldn’t walk from the front door to the kitchen), and I was very very worried. And we were sort of socked in by the weather, ugh. Some parts of Small Mountain University Town got up to five feet of snow last week! We didn’t get that much, but we did get a fair amount of soggy snow… Anyway, when we could get out easily on Saturday, I rented a car and…
Update

omegamom

22 Jan 2010 | 11:40 pm

Well. When I wrote that last post, it was going to be followed up by the “And she’s all better now, whew!” post. But I had things to do that weekend, and places to go, so didn’t write. But I did notice that mom hadn’t blogged for a few days, and she hadn’t sent me any email. So I picked up the phone to call her (I previously had been calling her every day, but then thought she was better, so stopped). At which point, she asked me to come out to Arizona again, saying that things were worse. So here I am in Arizona, with mom. I managed to sneak in…
Breathing

omegamom

16 Jan 2010 | 1:44 am

When you’re a new parent, with a small life depending on you, you find yourself doing strange things sometimes. One commonality that I’m sure my readers have experienced is how new moms and dads can find themselves stopping by their child’s bed in the night and watching—urgently, because you can’t hear the breathing and you’re afraid that something’s wrong. You wait, suspended in the moment, your anxiety ramping up, until you see the slow, gentle, up and down movement of your child’s torso in tune with her breathing, and you move on, reassured. I found myself doing…
Welcome to the Weird Science Show!

omegamom

11 Jan 2010 | 9:38 pm

Science fairs will be in late March, so OmegaDad decided to get started with some experiments with the dotter. Unfortunately, the experiments are daddy’s ideas, but, hey, get the kid used to doing it, right? Firstly, she was very possessive about “MY lab!” In other words, I had to explain to her that real scientists these days were very open about their research (see PLOS) and, if they’re excited about their experiments, they’re very happy to have people in, show them around, tell them what the experiment is about, etc. Anyway. Since OmegaDad has been Doing Bread…
A gift

omegamom

8 Jan 2010 | 7:49 pm

We are home in Alaska. It has been an interesting few weeks, with its major ups and downs, which I may or may not discuss later. When we got on our flight home, OmegaDotter was more than ready to be home. I was, frankly, more than ready for OmegaDad to do some high-quality one-on-one with the dotter; she is high-maintenance at times, very touchy-feely, needing attention, bouncing, chattering, “on” all the time. I was not looking forward to six hours of her trapped in an airplane. We didn’t get a window seat. We were both very sad about this. We settled into…

Adoption Support at Forever Parents
Haitian Adoptions Jeopardized By Disaster

Joanne

16 Jan 2010 | 1:25 pm

Tuesday’s earthquake has thrown U.S. families trying to bring home their children into a state of uncertainty. Many are finding themselves in a desperate search for answers about how their children, that they are in the process of adopting, are faring. Some fear that paperwork, which can take months or years, may be buried or lost in crumpled buildings, stalling or halting the adoption. Unlike adoptions in many other countries, where parents learn the identities of their children rather late in the process, Haitian adoptions typically match parents up with children near the beginning.
Alabama Adoption

Joanne

11 Jan 2010 | 12:36 pm

When Air Force family Henry and Stephanie Hayes started foster care for children four years ago, they weren’t necessarily looking to adopt. They’re the parents of two birth children and had opened their Montgomery home to 11 foster children over the years. They were content. That is, until they met baby Jaylan. “He is medically fragile and when we learned that he would not be able to return to his birth parents and that they couldn’t find a home for him, our hearts just broke,” Stephanie Hayes said. It not only broke their hearts, it spurred them to action. The…
Event To End Florida Gay Adoption Ban

Joanne

8 Jan 2010 | 7:21 pm

Florida’s Adoption Ban is the only law in the country that categorically prohibits gay men and lesbians from adopting children. This discriminatory law hurts thousands of children who are languishing in Florida’s foster care system by denying them a permanent home. The American Civil Liberties Union of Florida is proud to announce that Cynthia Nixon, Sex and the City star and LGBT rights advocate, will join us on Saturday, January 9, 2010 to kick off the ACLU’s three-year campaign to end Florida’s ban on adoption by gay and lesbian people. The event, to be held poolside at…
Adoption Stories: China Adoption

Joanne

8 Jan 2010 | 7:12 am

The following post was submitted as a comment by one of our readers. Sharon. The summer before Becca turned six, we moved to a new neighborhood, so that she could have a yard, a playroom, and (eventually) a puppy. A “plus” was that the neighborhood was majority Asian, with the largest proportion of the Asians being Chinese. While Becca had a few close friends and many acquaintances who were adopted from China, like her, she previously had relatively little contact with Chinese children who were living with their biological families. We quickly discovered that most of the Chinese families…
Adoption Support on Facebook

Joanne

5 Jan 2010 | 8:43 pm

Are you on facebook? Stop by and join our facebook group and become a fan of our facebook page . You’ll make connections with our blog readers and our adoption forum members. After you join, you can share the link to your adoption blog or business as long as it’s adoption friendly and not spam. While you’re there, feel free to friend me! I’m also on twitter! See you around the ‘net! Share and Enjoy: Tags: Adoption, adoption forum, adoption support Related posts How To Join Our Adoption Forums (0) Florida Adoption Support Group (0) In Praise Of Foster Parents (0)…

Weebles Wobblog
Perfect Moment Monday: HE WENT TO JARED'S

Lavender Luz

7 Feb 2010 | 7:00 pm

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling. Please visit the links of the
Adoption Angles: My bling and my John Travolta impression

Lavender Luz

5 Feb 2010 | 6:00 am

My apologies if you don't have an hour, because watching this video is the only way the title is going to make sense to you. This week I was the guest on Melissa's Adoption Angles. We played to a large audience (wow, Melissa, well done!) which was delightfully involved and curious about creating a child-centered open adoption. We had sound difficulties for the first 15 minutes, which was when I
Show & Tell: Science project

Lavender Luz

3 Feb 2010 | 4:00 pm

Subtitle: How I ended up on the N0Fly List. Reed, Grade 1, had his first Minds at Work Exhibition. It was 99% self-directed (I insisted he change his focus from "weapons" to "military weapons") and 99% completed by Reed himself (I wrote the answers he gathered through an interview with his uncle so he could copy them; I googled for images). He was to choose a topic and run with it, resulting in
Tune in Wednesday; I'm on MomTV

Lavender Luz

2 Feb 2010 | 6:29 pm

I'm going to be on Adoption Angles Wednesday evening (tomorrow!) at 7 pm MST (that's 9 pm to you east coasters, 6 pm to you west coasters, and 8 pm to you centralites). Host Melissa has told me all I need is a webcam and a Merlot. I'm all set as far as she's concerned, but I also think I'd better come up with something to say. My topic is open adoption. Is there anything specific you'd like me
Perfect Moment Monday: Good hair day

Lavender Luz

31 Jan 2010 | 7:00 pm

Perfect Moment Monday is about noticing a perfect moment rather than creating one. Perfect moments can be momentous or ordinary or somewhere in between. Once a week we engage in mindfulness about something that is right with our world. Everyone is welcome to join. Details on how to participate are at the bottom of this post, complete with bloggy bling. Please visit the links of the

Drama 2B Mama
Acta est fabula

Lavender Luz

3 Feb 2010 | 6:00 am

The drama has been acted out.Most blogs are a process. But this one has been a project, and the end of it has come. This means there are no new entries, but the old entries are still available (and relevant to anyone musing about infertility and/or adoption) through my archives (see StoryLines on the left).Years have passed and we now have nearly a decade of adoptive parenting under our belts. I chronicle some of those moments on my main blog, Weebles Wobblog. Over the years I have become a strong advocate of child-centered open adoption and have published several articles in Adoptive…
Legal sequel

Lavender Luz

1 Feb 2010 | 6:00 am

(Fall, 2003) -- Our agency counselor, Sheryl, visits our home a few times, and we take more parenting classes at Lutheran. Six months pass and it’s time to go to court again. FOR THE LAST TIME!Much as I love Sheryl, I am ready to be finished with social workers.Same month, same judge. In October, we again go into the judge’s courtroom to finalize Reed's last name and to make us legally a forever family. Grandparents, aunts and uncles surround us to share our joy in welcoming Reed as a card-carrying member of our clan.We remind the judge (who himself has been through three adoptions…
Thinking the unthinkable

Lavender Luz

29 Jan 2010 | 6:00 am

(Spring-Summer, 2003) -- I have never been a depressed person. I have had sad times, but I get through them. But now, my therapist notices that I am speaking in sweeping generalizations. Example: “I am the biggest loser in the world, and I deserve to be miserable.”She thinks the depression might be chemical, and she encourages me to ask my doctor about anti-dep.ressants.I don’t like to take medicine, but this seems necessary to the health and well being of my family. I begin to take a very low dose of an SS.RI (Selective Sero.tonin Re.uptake In.hibitor). After a few weeks, I begin to…
Everything I wanted and nothing like I thought

Lavender Luz

27 Jan 2010 | 6:00 am

(Spring-Summer, 2003) -- I did it. I completed the plan I had for my life. Met a wonderful man, proposed to him and got married. Traveled the world together and had loads of fun. Grieved and recovered from the setback of infertility. Became the mom to the most perfect daughter and son. Several weeks after all my dreams came true, I should be happy. Deliriously happy.But I’m not. And I can’t even blame hormones for my moodiness. I become depressed, edgy and easily upset with Roger, Tessa and Reed. I am supremely pissed at myself. I feel guilty for not being 100% grateful for all I have. I…
Denver, we have a problem

Lavender Luz

25 Jan 2010 | 6:00 am

(Spring-Summer, 2003) -- I am not bonding with Reed.I am mad because he does not let me sleep.I feel more like a reluctant babysitter than a previously eager mom.And I hate myself.This is gonna get bad...

Therapy Is Expensive
2010 Adoption Goal Update

KatjaMichelle

1 Feb 2010 | 6:33 pm

Two sealed, addressed, and stamped envelopes sit beside me. They contain valentines cards for Kidlet and his brother. They are ready to be dropped in the mail box on my way to my internship tomorrow. They will arrive on the other side of the country before valentines day. I win…this round.
Open Adoption Roundtable #13: Brevity and I are Strangers

KatjaMichelle

27 Jan 2010 | 7:14 pm

Yay! It’s Open Adoption RoundTable time again. The current prompt is courtesy of Andy and it’s complicated (aren’t they always) so first I’ll paste it in it’s entirety and then I’ll break it down into pieces and respond in parts. We often hear about open adoptions where the two sides don’t want the same level of openness. First mothers who don’t get updates as often as they would like, or not as many visits each year. Or adoptive parents who want to include their child’s first mother in his life, but she is not ready. But what we don’t often discuss is…
Can The Depression Hold Off For 7 More Weeks…Please…

KatjaMichelle

21 Jan 2010 | 7:08 pm

I’m sitting in class. We’re supposed to be thinking about ways to measure the success of our interventions. All I can think of is “I don’t need to measure success because no one will be willing to sit through a training on first parent grief. I am wasting my time.” So trying to shift my thought process I thought well maybe I should design a curriculum for first mom grief groups instead and in my head I hear “why would that be any better. No one will let you put those into action either. “ Yeah maybe I’ll just pretend to work and try this…
FYI: I’m Citing Ya’ll

KatjaMichelle

17 Jan 2010 | 12:54 pm

As I’ve mentioned a time or two I’m in the home stretch of my MSW program. (8 weeks of class left 1.5 quarters left of practicum WHOO HOO!) For my final project I’m doing a literature review on first parent grief and loss as well as creating a curriculum to train professionals about the topic. At the end of last quarter I was stressing about not being able to find enough sources and asked if I could use blogs. I expected her to laugh, but instead she gave permission. She understood that while I could find some scholarly sources that my topic was one that not a lot of…
I Sent It. They Got It. He Loves It.

KatjaMichelle

15 Jan 2010 | 1:25 pm

The title pretty much says it all. Check out this post if you’re confused.

singout
breathe in again

jmomma

3 Feb 2010 | 4:30 pm

I may be blogged out– the demons have been expressed, examined and exorcised. My purpose here has been fulfilled. Now I’m washed up on the shore of reunion; a story as long as we both shall live… I’m learning to stand back, to see Joy as her own person, roaming and ranging way beyond me. We each check things out in our own way. I don’t spend a lot of time being serious or worrying, though my emotions get triggered easily. I often catch myself pursing my lips or raising my shoulders or clenching my pelvis and then I let it go. I relax and let things be…
taking chances

jmomma

12 Jan 2010 | 4:50 pm

I’ve been impressed with the importance of showing up lately. Just show up and see what you can do. Issycat wrote about reunion-eggshells-and-the-loselose and it provoked some thoughts in my mind that I felt might not be taken well. So I brought them over here. It reminded me of Joy’s and my last face to face. which reminded me of many of our past meetings. We have done a lot of approach avoidance stuff. I think it comes out of fear/desire/fear that underlies our every encounter. I don’t really understand it. I think it weighs heavier on Joy than on me because I…
Opening Adoption

jmomma

7 Jan 2010 | 12:29 pm

Even though Joy grew up without me physically, I always knew I was her mother, she was my child. She “wasn’t looking for a mother” during our first conversation. I pushed that awareness away in an effort to be what she asked me to be. The pushing and pulling at trying to make sense of what happened when a she was taken, to be brought up with more privileges and so called security still tugs at me. In our closed adoption, in the early 70s, all our worldly rights were severed. The only right I had was to pray for her. First I had to bypass the guilt and shame at letting…
Seasons of Peace

jmomma

24 Dec 2009 | 11:33 am

Catching up with my daughter’s recent posts, I was struck by John Lennon references (ie. “War is over, if you want it…) and another song came to me. But I can’t find the version I learned as a kid, from the Mickey Mouse Club. Hey there, hi there, ho there, you’re as welcome as can be ~Come along and sing our song and join our company… I don’t believe in fighting for peace or defending myself for peace. Peace is my natural state; as a child of a benevolent Creator. Peace is eternal. Peace is God, Spirit, the One, whatever we want to call it. It is…
shame shifting

jmomma

21 Nov 2009 | 12:25 pm

The worst loneliness is not to be comfortable with yourself. ~Mark Twain That pretty much sums up what I hear from adoptees. Their search to learn to be comfortable in their own skins is poignantly portrayed in fiction but often avoided in real life. Being an adoptee is such a vivid portrayal of something everybody has to learn. Me, I’m getting over trying to explain my bad behavior and recognizing we each do our best with what we know at the time. I find myself stumbling on shame, as though the world (or anyone) is deserving of a better person than me is something I share with…

According To Addie
Free Haitian Orphan Slight Return

addiepray

2 Feb 2010 | 7:20 am

Update 2/2/10 It’s been brought to my attention that the link I gave for Safe Families Haiti does not match the text I quoted. That’s because the site I pulled that text from has been taken down. But luckily it’s available in cache.. The site they don’t want you to see. I’d like to thank my commenter Jill for pointing it out to me. If you read through the enteries you’ll find all kinds of interesting craziness. Gee, I wonder why they took that down? In my place somewhere in the middle of the adoption world, I get to explore many different perspectives…
Lions and Tigers and Baptists, Oh My!

addiepray

1 Feb 2010 | 4:11 pm

Seems I’m not the only one who has been bothered by Baptist bent on burglering babies. Haiti is having it’s own problems with that plague. For those who have been under a rock, a bunch of Baptists on a mission decided they could just load up some kids off the street and whisk them away to a better life. God knows if they were allowed to stay with their parents they might take up dancing. While the dunkers don’t seem too good at this whole child trafficking thing, I wonder about what’s happening with folks who a little better at it. The disciples of John seem to…
Things That Need Reform….

addiepray

28 Jan 2010 | 8:19 am

This post is part of Grown In My Heart’s blog Carnival. Anyone can participate, get hooked up here. Mr. Linky Things that need reform, as simply as possible…. Birth Certificate Access C’mon people, this is obvious. The sky has not fallen where access by adult adoptees to their original birth certificate has been granted. It’s simple, and it’s the right thing to do. Which leads to…. Uniform regulations on all adoptions Honestly, it’s like the wild west out there. It doesn’t matter if we are talking about adult adoptee issues, foster…
Deathbed Conversions and Gumball Machines

addiepray

25 Jan 2010 | 3:09 pm

If you haven’t read my previous Happy Monday post, please do, this one will make a whole lot more sense. I know exactly how that stupid vending machine made it into the front of my store. During the conquest of the Americas many missionaries were sent out to “civilize” the savages and bring them religion. Some of the native people really went for the Jesus thing, some gave it lip service to save their butts, and some didn’t buy into any of it. But as some folks who were less than impressed by Christianity approached death, they would ask to see the priests and…
Happy Monday From the Southern Baptist Convention

addiepray

25 Jan 2010 | 9:39 am

I got a good nights sleep last night, felt well, and was looking forward to a typical day at work. I should have known it wasn’t going to happen. Mondays are never typical days at work. I had taken Saturday and Sunday off, leaving the store in the hands of my a-dad. As my regular readers know, he’s not typical. Guess what I found? Yep, Buster is pretty scary, after getting over the initial horror of the machine itself, I read the label on his belly. Proceeds from this vending unit benefit SONRISE CHILDREN’S HOME and MEDICINE VALLEY COMMUNITY CHILDREN’S MINITRY. For…

Finding Jane Doe
Birthdays

phil

1 Feb 2010 | 9:09 pm

Honestly, I don't think I hate my birthday. I just think I'm incredibly ambivalent about it. It's hard to explain, I guess. Who doesn't like cake, and ice cream, and presents, and being the center of attention?Well, this adoptee, for one.I don't know when I realized it, but at some point, probably in my teen years, I realized that everyone who wanted to celebrate my birthday had missed it. They weren't there for my actual birth. And I don't know why that bothered me, but it did. And I didn't want people making a big deal about the day because it just reminded me that I didn't know ANYONE who…
Discordant Notes

phil

31 Jan 2010 | 8:16 pm

Reading the newspaper today was a nasty experience.First was the story of the Baptists from America getting arrested for trying to spirit Haitian children out of the devastated country. Their story is that they were trying to take the children to the Dominican Republic to set up an orphanage. From there, of course, the children would be available for adoption. It is a disgusting display of cultural imperialism. I must say I experienced a good bit of Schadenfreude at the thought of their arrest. I suspect, somehow, they will get out of it, but I thought I would enjoy it for the moment.Then I…
Simple Truths

phil

26 Jan 2010 | 9:45 pm

Sometimes I need to remind myself of some things...* I am an adoptee. It is not the whole of my identity, but my identity is not complete without mentioning this. Being an adoptee shapes so much of who I am.* I do not dislike adoptive parents. I just don't want there to be any more of them.* "Everyone goes through difficulties" is both true and a poor excuse for not having empathy for people going through a rough time.* There is no way to make up for missing 30+ years together, but that doesn't mean I can't try.* Not everyone can understand everything, but having one person who can understand…
Unfriending

phil

22 Jan 2010 | 10:02 pm

I'm still sort of in the closet. On Facebook, at least. Some of my relatives (both adoptive and first) are connected to me on Facebook, so I keep my anti-adoption stuff to a dull roar. (The sort of roar you might expect to hear from a very, very quiet church mouse.) I don't want to alienate my family. Any of them. And I don't know how they'd react to it.So when I saw someone on my friend's list become a fan of "Adoption not Abortion" (I kid you not), I unfriended her. I wanted to just start railing. I hate, HATE the thoughtless promotion of adoption as an alternative to abortion. But I…
Compounding the tragedy in Haiti

phil

19 Jan 2010 | 9:23 pm

This story is indicative of the several stories I've been exposed to today...Klobuchar seeks help for Americans poised to adopt children from Haiti:Alarmed about the fate of hundreds of Haitian children being adopted by Americans, Sen. Amy Klobuchar is pressing federal agencies to speed up the process.Klobuchar has written to the departments of State and Homeland Security asking that officials "expedite the adoption process so that loving American families can finally welcome their children home."A longtime advocate of streamlining international adoption, Klobuchar, D-Minn., is asking that…

Baby Love Child
You’ve got the kids, I’ve got the cash, let’s make some adoptions.

Baby Love Child

7 Feb 2010 | 10:20 am

So today provides yet another profile of yet another Baptist evangelical scavenger, Mike Roberts, the North Texas CEO of “Source Direct.” The Dallas Morning News has done an article on yet another scavenger on a “mission from god” to do the kind of work in Haiti that can decide who lives and who dies, and to set up an adoption pipeline cash and supplies-for-kids scheme. Naturally, the piece is more of a glowing profile than an expose on Roberts attempt at child tafficking. Yup, yet another attempt to build a system of Haitian “orphans” sourced directly…
The 10 arrested Christian Scavengers had an adoption centered “mission” for the kids they were caught trying to remove illegally

Baby Love Child

2 Feb 2010 | 1:01 am

Obviously, there are a great number of things I could say about the ten American missionary child scavengers sitting in a Haitian Jail at the moment. But what I have to say is not the point. It’s their own words that are at issue here. Already, just in the short time since their arrests, conflicting stories and conflicting quotes have come from members of this attempt to unlawfully remove children from Haiti. I could spend many hours pulling different quotations. Instead I’m going to cut to the heart of what genuinely matters: family members are making provably incorrect…
PersonalShopper.com CEO arrested while returning from child shopping trip to Port-au-Prince- by guest blogger Mike Doughney

Baby Love Child

31 Jan 2010 | 8:43 am

Once again, I’m going to pick up my partner Mike’s writing about the Friday evening arrests of 10 missionaries for their attempted removal of kids from Haiti to the Dominican Republic. The text below the line is Mike’s latest post from his personal blog. American citizens pose for a photo at police headquarters in the international airport of Port-au-Prince, Saturday, Jan. 30, 2010. Associated Press photo/Ramon Espinosa. In my earlier post I suggested that the overwhelming demands to move children out of Haiti for adoption elsewhere were in a way a twisted expression of…
Introducing Bastardette’s new blog- End Child Exportation and Trafficking in Haiti

Baby Love Child

30 Jan 2010 | 7:56 am

Bastardette has created a new blog corraling many of the Haiti and child export writings from both her blog and a variety of other writers together in one place: End Child Exportation and Trafficking in Haiti She introduced it on the Daily Bastardette yesterday thusly: I have launched a new blog site: End Child Exportation and Trafficking in Haiti. It is not affiliated with Bastard Nation. The unethical and often illegal removal of children from Haiti and subsequent identity erasure under the guise of “humanitarian aid” to serve small special interests is unprecedented in US child…
Haiti, hiding information, and the romantic myth of international adoption- by Guest Blogger Mike Doughney

Baby Love Child

29 Jan 2010 | 5:45 am

This is a post written by my partner, Mike Doughney for his personal blog. It’s a big picture overview with some theoretical components. His about page written back in October 2007 is pretty much a mandatory backgrounder to understand what underlies the perspective he (and ultimately we, the two of us) bring to our adoption related work. I made some observations on my “About” page, some years ago, about the relationship between the practice of adoption and the way in which many Americans view the rest of the world. In recent days, that relationship has become quite obvious…

omommawrites.com
Moving Time

Leah

5 Feb 2010 | 4:47 pm

Paint? check. Blinds? check. Curtains? check. Shower Curtain rods? check. Washer and Dryer? check. Uhaul truck? check. Guess what we’re doing this weekend? MOVING! All we need is some furniture and food and our then house is finally our home. It’s amazing what some paint, blinds, and curtains can do to a house making it feel more [...]
Yum…

Leah

31 Jan 2010 | 2:41 pm

I love chocolate milk. Especially on my living room walls. ©2010 . All Rights Reserved..
For Real? We Own a Home?

Leah

29 Jan 2010 | 7:24 pm

It’s official, we’re finally home owners as of yesterday! It went smooth and quickly once we (we, meaning my awesome “team” of people working while I sat around stressed) got over some speed bumps. Is it worth that stress in the end? Yes. In fact, I was a little sad when it was all signed and [...]
What I’ve Learned on this Roller Coaster

Leah

25 Jan 2010 | 7:47 am

As I said yesterday, this house buying thing is a roller coaster. However, I’ve heard of much worse situations and I’m grateful that ours has gone relatively smoothly over all. The waiting just stinks right now. So, while I wait, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned while on this crazy ride: 1) Find an amazing Realtor. [...]
House Buying is a Roller Coaster

Leah

24 Jan 2010 | 1:19 pm

We still haven’t gotten the keys to our new house. We were set to close this past Tuesday but several last minute things came up that delayed us into this coming week. My heart was set on last Tuesday. I was so ready to start loading boxes and organizing to the point that I didn’t sleep [...]

Land of the Not-So-Calm
Protected: Left Behind

Sang-Shil

4 Feb 2010 | 7:23 pm

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Enforced Cudding

Sang-Shil

31 Jan 2010 | 6:31 pm

Don’t worry; this post isn’t really about my cats First, a note about the title of this post: When we first got our cats and they were still kittens, I thought it was adorable how they would chase my feet when I lay in bed and moved my feet under the covers. It was [...]
Up, Up, and Awake

Sang-Shil

2 Jan 2010 | 2:27 am

There will be no spoiler warnings on this post, because I am THAT sure that everyone else in the universe has seen this movie already. So I saw the movie Up tonight, in an attempt to fulfill my New Year’s resolution To No Longer Be The Only Person In The Universe Who Has Not Seen [...]
Happy New Year!

Sang-Shil

31 Dec 2009 | 8:33 pm

I was going to do one of those fancy-dancy recaps where I list highlights of 2009 by linking back to posts that I’ve written about them, but then I remembered that I don’t really blog about that kind of stuff. Plus, I’m still recovering from the holi-daze, evidenced by my lack of activity on this blog [...]
Lucky Girl

Sang-Shil

18 Dec 2009 | 8:45 pm

People just love to tell adoptees how lucky we are, and even if they don’t spell out the starvation, prostitution, and early death that they are convinced would have been our fates had we not been “rescued,” it’s usually there in the undercurrents. But something happened tonight that is giving me pause, that is making me [...]

I Should Really Be Working....
Thoughts on Money; Part II

thanksgivingmom

4 Feb 2010 | 3:24 pm

I’m going to say some things that seem contradictory….but I’m not sure they really are. Again, these are some preliminary thoughts, and I’m not sure I’ve got it all worked out in my head, which means there’s very little chance they’ll come across clear as crystal here, but it’s worth a shot. Before I get to the heavy, possibly confusing adoption stuff, let me clear my head with an uncomplicated, non adoption related story: I used to have a friend and either one of us would, at various times, be the more financially stable one. She was getting…
Thoughts on Money; Part I

thanksgivingmom

1 Feb 2010 | 4:38 pm

I don’t make a lot of money. I work for a very large non-profit organization (that I mostly talk about in password protected posts to preserve a little discretion there) that, thankfully, dedicates most of it’s donations to services and research. Which is great, but it means that my paycheck suffers because of it. But that’s okay. I’ve never been particularly driven by money. Almost to a fault. Long Board makes more money than I do as a PhD student receiving research grants. Not only that, but once he graduates his income will skyrocket, while mine might get small…
Protected: Okay, I See It

thanksgivingmom

27 Jan 2010 | 4:18 pm

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below: Password:
Open Adoption Roundtable #13: Open Adoption, Open TG

thanksgivingmom

26 Jan 2010 | 11:04 am

I had goals for blogging today: I wasn’t going to write about Long Board. I was going to write something uplifting or happy or not full of confusion. I was going to try to write about adoption – but not forcing the “happy” and “uplifting” part. Maybe a story about a past visit. Maybe talking about the upcoming visit. Then I read some other blogs, including Heather @ PNR. Hurrah! A new Open Adoption Roundtable! Hey brain, you can turn off and not think of a subject for the day – Andy (Today’s the Day!) is guest hosting and has provided one!!!
Broken Ribs and Kitty Cats

thanksgivingmom

25 Jan 2010 | 11:54 am

This weekend, Long Board, Baby Sis and I were discussing life experiences. We were discussing how we came to have the opinions we do today, where our (sometimes very strong) stances come from. Long Board was defending himself explaining that he’s had a lot of varied life experiences, and that they’ve led him to a place where he’s pretty stubborn confident in those opinions. I sometimes get the feeling that there’s a lot in Long Board’s past that I don’t know about. It makes me curious, and a little sad, but I respectfully give him space. I don’t push…

American Family
Love isn’t enough.

AmericanFamily

8 Feb 2010 | 7:16 am

It has been almost three years since we met L. From day one, I have felt a nagging worry that I am not doing the right things or doing enough for her. I never felt that way about M, or if I did, those worries have been fleeting. M and I shared one body; our hearts [...]
Follow up

AmericanFamily

5 Feb 2010 | 11:29 am

This is really quick because I am recovering from L’s 2.5 hour occupational therapy evaluation (seriously, that is a freaking LONG time). I am planning a post about that soon, but probably not this afternoon. But in response to a couple comments on the last post: What I actually think was going on at the Chinese restaurant [...]
Conspicuous

AmericanFamily

4 Feb 2010 | 4:13 am

I can only remember a small handful of negative interactions about L’s adoption in the past three years. But last week, I had a couple different adoption drive-by comments that I wasn’t expecting. I think my guard was down while I was distracted by the move. The first incident happened at Chinese Club. One of M’s [...]
No Imposition

AmericanFamily

2 Feb 2010 | 8:07 pm

I am finally at a point in my life where I am starting to accept myself. I am giving up on the possibility that I am going to become greatly improved at some point in the future. I am who I am, even if that person is irritating sometimes. While we were moving, I had the [...]
Five in Five

AmericanFamily

1 Feb 2010 | 11:27 am

Howdy Strangers! It feels like forever since I have posted. In the past (almost!) two weeks, we packed up our house and moved a whopping 1/5th of a mile away from our old house. Though it is close, it feels like a whole new world over here. Just to give the highlights of the move: We hired movers [...]

The Adoptee Rights Demonstration
‘I Am Adopted’ on Philadelphia’s MiND TV

adopteerights

20 Jan 2010 | 5:45 pm

The Adoptee Rights Coalition would like to express their best wishes to filmmaker Julie Goldstein of Artifact Pictures, who has completed work on her documentary “I Am Adopted“. We had the pleasure of meeting Julie last July at the Philadelphia Adoptee Rights Demonstration as she worked on her film. Julie’s film will premiere on MiND TV’s [...]
Holiday Greetings from The Adoptee Rights Demonstration!

adopteerights

4 Dec 2009 | 7:39 am

We wanted to take a moment to wish everyone the happiest of holidays, and thank you for a wonderful 2009 year. Sadly, the Grinch’s heart is still 44 sizes too small, as only six states allow adult adoptees to have their own birth certificates! Please support Adoptee Rights this holiday season!
Graphics and Widget updated

AdopteeRightsPhilly

16 Oct 2009 | 7:46 pm

We’ve updated our graphics page with the new logo for 2010. If you’re currently hosting our logo on your blog or website, please change the code to the new version. Our new widget contains our feeds from Twitter, Flickr, YouTube and the AdopteeRights.net blog, and can be resized and customized to fit your site. Please take [...]
Louisville Adoptee Rights Protest site online!

adopteerights

6 Oct 2009 | 11:20 am

Adoptee Rights Demonstration 11 am July 25, 2010 Louisville, KY We are happy to announce the new site for Louisville is online at http://AdopteeRightsLouisville.blogspot.com Please update your bookmarks and links. The ‘Demonstration Information’ pages at this site have been updated as well. Please take a moment to look over the site, and… Registration is open! If you’re planning on coming to Louisville, [...]
Adoptee Rights Booth at the NCSL Summit

AdopteeRightsPhilly

23 Aug 2009 | 7:33 am

As we continue to pull-together and disseminate contacts and information collected at The Adoptee Rights Coalition booth, we would like to provide a synopsis of this year’s participation at the National Conference of State Legislatures’ (NCSL) Annual Summit. Thanks to the generosity of our donors and the artistic skills of Dory Martin, the booth was constant [...]

Harlow's Monkey
Interesting...

Harlowmonkey

6 Feb 2010 | 8:28 pm

Mia Farrow criticizes illegal Haiti adoptionsFrom the APGENEVA – UNICEF goodwill ambassador Mia Farrow has criticized as "deplorable" attempts to take children out of Haiti illegally after last month's devastating earthquake. The U.S. actress says groups or individuals who want to help Haiti's children should rather support orphanages or their families inside the country. Farrow, who herself has adopted 11 children, says offering parents a better life for their children elsewhere is "completely unacceptable and immoral."Read the story here.
Chinese Adoptee Links blog

Harlowmonkey

30 Jan 2010 | 1:36 pm

I wanted to call attention to a blog written by Chinese adoptees. The blog is part of the Chinese Adoptee Links group and is called "One World: Chinese Adoptee Links Blog." I'm adding it to my blog list as well.And now I will be taking another break. Honestly, I am getting really tired of the name-calling and pathologizing comments I'm receiving lately from folks like "Jane Sue" who can't seem to disagree without resorting to personal attacks. Besides, I've got 22 books to read, several articles to write, and another semester's worth of work and…
An adoption worker offers me advice

Harlowmonkey

29 Jan 2010 | 10:59 am

Thanks, anonymous adoption worker, "Jane Sue" from the Tuscon, AZ area, for these comments. I'm glad to know where you stand on the issues.Jane Sue's response to the post, "Colorlines: A mother adopts, and discovers her own racism":This woman would have to be blind not to notice her daughter's skin color some of the time. And why would she have thought about sunblock on a dark skinned baby--until she had a dark skinned baby. Of course, adoption is a learning experience. How harsh--and nonproductive--to call this mom's new experiences "racist."…
Restoring Family Links - the International Committee of the Red Cross

Harlowmonkey

29 Jan 2010 | 5:33 am

Restoring contact between families separated by armed conflicts and natural disastersWhat to do if you are looking for a missing relative? Every year, armed conflicts, other situations of violence and natural disasters leave countless people seeking news of family members.Restoring family links means carrying out, in those situations, a range of activities that aim to prevent separation and disappearance, restore and maintain contact between family members, and clarify the fate of persons reported missing. It involves collecting information about persons who are missing, persons who have…
Adopt children and exploit them in a new online game

Harlowmonkey

27 Jan 2010 | 7:22 pm

Thanks to Latoya from Jezebel (and Racialicious) for this one.New internet game encourages children to make their characters wear sexy lingerie and buy 'trophy' orphans By Daily Mail Reporter The adoption clinic in a virtual Style City features girls called Pax and Maddox and a boy named Zahara after Angelina Jolie's children. The virtual youngsters have the same nationalities as Jolie's with Maddox, three, said to be Cambodian and a fan of eating cockroaches. Similarly up for grabs are Vietnamese noodle-lover Pax, five, and Ethiopian lad Zahara, four, whose favourite food…

Peter's Cross Station
Planets, Stars, Fantastical Gender Bending: A Sampling of Art by Nat

LilySea

3 Feb 2010 | 3:18 pm

Nat does art every day at school. For a while it was all markers, but these days, there's been a lot of paint. Thought I'd share.First up, we have standard Nat style, which always includes both ground (a horizontal slash across the bottom) and a sun (here, it is purple, found in the top right-hand corner). This picture also includes, according to Nat, lots of stars and planets:Next, we enter the self-portrait genre. Here you can see that Nat is wearing sunglasses, and no wonder, since the sun in this case, is bright yellow. There's no ground here, but there is an odd…
When an Early Reader is also a Drama Queen

LilySea

18 Jan 2010 | 5:18 pm

Nat has been pretending she can't read at school. That is, she has been pretending to haltingly sound out three-letter words that she has known by sight since she was two. When she does this, the adult in charge (I think it all began with a week of substitute teaching) was praising her highly, not expecting her to be able to do it. Nat was eating up the praise, gathering that most of her peers (I think all but BFF, J) can't read--or are only just beginning to read and adjusting her behavior accordingly.I got my first clue when we had new babysitter, W, come over for the first…

Adopt This!
There Are Times When I Think I am Losing My Freakin’ Mind!

issycat

7 Feb 2010 | 6:31 pm

And there are times when I am wrong. And there are times when the things I am trying to communicate don’t come out perfectly. I was wrong about my recent post about the couple who seemed to me to be coercing a potential birthmother out of her baby. I think I was very wrong. So I took the post down. I jumped to a conclusion I shouldn’t have. There are also times where I think I am right on the money and I don’t apologize for those times. Some people who want to adopt can be real creeps. You know the most frustrating part of modern adoption? It’s the industry…
You Want To Help Haiti?

issycat

4 Feb 2010 | 12:31 pm

Here you go! Unicef is doing great things to help the people of Haiti. Now there are some people who are very upset with UNICEF at the moment because of their so-called “anti-adoption” stance which IMO is actually an anti-child trafficking stance. Apparently UNICEF worked hard to help get adoptions under control in Guatemala because of the fact that women and children were being abused and exploited to supply wealthy needy Americans with babies. There are people who commented on the above blog who disagree with this. After all, they have babies they need to steal save.
Why We Shouldn’t Be Taking Post Earthquake Kids Out of Haiti…

issycat

1 Feb 2010 | 5:19 pm

Because it’s illegal. Because it’s called child trafficking. Because it is not a nice thing to do. Because those kids could still have family somewhere. As an American I am just embarrassed to tell you the truth. These people going down there in the name of “aid”. They claim to be providing aid but they are really going shopping for a kid. Like these people. It is elitist, it’s racist, it’s just plain wrong. And it’s all in the name of God. God doesn’t believe in child trafficking no matter who is doing it. And this idiot who wants…
I’ve Just Got to Say It

issycat

29 Jan 2010 | 5:02 pm

Some of these newly anointed adoptees are having their faces plastered all over the internet by their proud new parents. Seems dangerous to me to post pics for anyone to browse but whatever. Not my problem. I do have to say though. Many of these babies have got to be the most unhappiest babies I’ve ever seen in my life. Their pictures…oh! The pictures! They break my heart. One in particular is now featured on the header of his new parents’ blog, being held by a beaming new Mom and Dad. They look so happy, so proud. Looks like new Mom got rid of the bad perm…
I’m Watching “Life Unexpected”

issycat

21 Jan 2010 | 12:31 pm

I wasn’t going to but I am, right now on my computer because Lorraine at FMF said it was good. She’s right so far. Interesting. And I only cried three times.

Welcome to my Brain
So, how is the ... sex?

8 Feb 2010 | 5:46 pm

If you have not yet joined in on the 2010 Sex-periment Challenge, I encourage you to do so. It's a bit of a butt kick for those of us who may be in a relationship where the lights are dimming (not... [[ this is only a blurb - get your butt over to my site for the rest of it - www.welcometomybrain.net ]]
More of the therapeutic parenting vlogging

7 Feb 2010 | 3:03 pm

[[ this is only a blurb - get your butt over to my site for the rest of it - www.welcometomybrain.net ]]
Pa-ching!

6 Feb 2010 | 5:25 pm

* Husband is taking his test on Tuesday to be certified for all levels of Math. It's a bear. He loves math ... but still ... bear. Won't know for awhile if he passed, which I think is just... [[ this is only a blurb - get your butt over to my site for the rest of it - www.welcometomybrain.net ]]
Therapeutic Parenting - The Power of Being Present

5 Feb 2010 | 1:08 pm

[[ this is only a blurb - get your butt over to my site for the rest of it - www.welcometomybrain.net ]]
THEY ARE OKAY!

4 Feb 2010 | 3:09 pm

All seven are uninjured. They are receiving the provisions they are needing. Will receive pics tomorrow! [[ this is only a blurb - get your butt over to my site for the rest of it - www.welcometomybrain.net ]]

Away To Me
I think I need to shake things up

away2me

8 Feb 2010 | 4:36 pm

I'm either going to quit this blog or I'm going to find the freedom of voicing my opinions on it. I'm tired of stopping myself from writing a post because I may offend one of my readers (the few that...
Great Article on BLW (Baby Led Solids)

away2me

3 Feb 2010 | 9:13 am

http://babble.com/baby-weaning-eating-solid-baby-foods/index.aspx
Fire station 93!

away2me

2 Feb 2010 | 6:58 am

We had a blast.
Seriously boring blog

away2me

27 Jan 2010 | 4:00 pm

This blog has taken a nose dive lately. I could go into politics or religion and ruffle some feathers. But I don't' have the time or want to deal with the aftermath on that. I could discuss crying it out...
Swedish Chef

away2me

25 Jan 2010 | 6:35 am

When my husband was a child he used to do a great impersonation of the Muppet's Swedish Chef. To this day he does it well and it never fails to make me smile. This morning at breakfast we were asking...

A Birth Project
Negotiating Guilt, Activism/Performance and Family

Lisa Marie

6 Feb 2010 | 1:09 pm

This post is mostly for other adoptees doing activist / social justice work around adoption and race to encourage you. This post is also for adoptees (and anyone else) who don’t understand how I can say and do the things that I do either in my performance, scholarly or activist work, and who are constantly writing to me to say, “I’m black (or Asian or Latin American) and I DON’T feel the same way as you, I love my family and I’m grateful for my life and glad that I didn’t end up growing up in an orphanage.” I’m writing this to encourage those of us who are constantly fighting…
Me on the Radio!

Lisa Marie

3 Feb 2010 | 9:44 am

I was interviewed on Monday by Gus T Renegade from C.O.W.S. blogtalk radio. Well, maybe it was more me just talking my ass off, but I look forward to your comments. In this podcast interview, I talk a bit about my childhood, my own development of my black identity, the development of AFAAD, transracial adoption as a global phenomenon, the issue of adoption of children out of Haiti and its position in the history of white movement of children of color during times of war and disaster. Here’s the link to the video sketch i was talking about around 35:40. Please download the interview…
Haiti Statement by Adoptees of Color Roundtable

Lisa Marie

25 Jan 2010 | 5:07 pm

Please read and share this Statement on Haiti released by the Adoptees of Color Roundtable: “This statement reflects the position of an international community of adoptees of color who wish to pose a critical intervention in the discourse and actions affecting the child victims of the recent earthquake in Haiti. We are domestic and international adoptees with many years of research and both personal and professional experience in adoption studies and activism. We are a community of scholars, activists, professors, artists, lawyers, social workers and health care workers who speak with…
Haiti Family Preservation Discussion

Lisa Marie

20 Jan 2010 | 4:26 pm

A few updates for you as I wade through all the Haiti and adoption information. 1. From the ISS (International Social Service) website – Their statement on Intercountry Adoption during disaster re: Haiti 2. Family Preservation Advocacy’s list of alternatives to donate for direct support of children and families. 3. Bastard Nation’s statement on Haitian Adoptions and BabyLifts. Posted in black adoptee, International Adoption, Transracial Adoption Tagged: black adoptee, caribbean adoption, haiti, haitian adoption, International Adoption, Transracial Adoption
Haiti, Adoption and Same ol Story

Lisa Marie

20 Jan 2010 | 9:59 am

I’m working on a longer post that will clarify my thoughts and my position on the rising number of Haitian children in need after the disaster in Haiti. AFAAD is also planning to release a statement soon. Overall, I have to say, what’s happening for me is that the rhetoric of United States is reflective of the rhetoric they spouted during “Operation Baby Lift” in the Vietnam War. Its troubling and frightening, and its the same old story about the colonialist paternalism that appears whenever the US thinks they understand what a country and black people need better than…

Vindauga
It all depends on perspective

Lisa V

7 Feb 2010 | 8:53 am

Rory: I think it would be so creepy to be Stephenie M's kids, and realize my mom had written those vampire books. Me: But we wouldn't be on the brink of financial ruin. Rory: Good point. Start writing about supernaturals having sex. I'll just skip those parts. Vampires and werewolves are taken. I think all you're left with is six-toed people. But you could make it hot.
Update for those of you still playing along at home

Lisa V

6 Feb 2010 | 9:54 am

Bert was up for a job, a real job, benefits, offices, everything. It looked better than promising, but then it torpedoed faster than you can say "get in line for the government cheese handout." The job would've meant we could live off just his salary alone if need be. It was a nice dream while it lasted. Now we're back to anxiety land. So we're back to plan a or m or whichever it was, Bert is looking for a job, hoping to go to grad school in the fall if he doesn't find one between now and then. Mallory has been admitted to several colleges, many with scholarship…
Dribs and Drabs

Lisa V

17 Jan 2010 | 6:53 pm

I haven't felt I've had much to say lately. Tonight however, I have everyday bits and pieces that I feel like writing about. The kids each got two giant jars of Nutella for Christmas. My dad heard me complain about how expensive it is and tell the children to ration it better because I don't have a $20 a month Nutella budget. So, his Christmas shopping was done at a warehouse store, the kids were thrilled and we easily have enough to last months. We had bath faucet that broke today. Bert fixed it for in about an hour for $2, and proclaimed himself of god of the plumbing. He…
Another Milestone

Lisa V

13 Dec 2009 | 8:44 pm

I've got people growing up all around me. You know, it happens in dribs and drabs, and every once in awhile there is concrete evidence that a moment has passed that will never come again. Lin posted her Christmas wish list on the fridge. It was short (5 items) and entirely reasonable. Then I noticed something was missing. There isn't a toy on the list. No doll, no clothes for dolls, no Lincoln Logs, no weird little stuffed animals. She's my last girl folks.I will never again thrill over the intricacy of a doll house, pick out the perfect china tea set, look at dress-up clothes,…
Gee, Mom what are they talking about?

Lisa V

13 Dec 2009 | 1:01 pm

You know, I can remember growing up and watching tv with my grandparents or my father, and being embarrassed because a Summer's Eve or a tampon commercial would come on. Then, before we blocked MTV, there were the Trojan commercials with the kids. Now, we've got KY Intense commercials constantly popping up on every channel. Really, what's next, commercials for a dominatrix?

this woman's work
Guest post over Adoption Mosaic

Dawn

8 Feb 2010 | 4:33 pm

I was going to write this up for here but they were kind enough to ask for a guest blog and I was honored and happy to share: There is Enough Love. Related posts:I’m still in essay hell My last Bump.com post EVER* Weekend List Post this woman's work, 2010. | Permalink | No comments yet | Come on by and comment!
Family censors

Dawn

8 Feb 2010 | 5:48 am

It’s a common discussion among folks who blog not just their lives but also their family lives (i.e., pretty much everyone I read) — how much do you share? Jenna blogged it both at blogher and at Chronicles and then it came up in a concrete way for Julia. What happened was this: Julia blogged her son Gage’s recent emotional breakdown as she blogs the rest of his healthcare challenges. She wrote about it because, well, because it was happening and she blogs her life. When she had to have her son committed, she wrote about the agony of walking away from him and also the hope…
Back in the day

Dawn

7 Feb 2010 | 12:26 pm

There are a lot of good things about having a blog but the best thing about having a blog is the archives because then I don’t have to remember anything since my blog will remember it for me. I was reading through some of my working archives and remembering where I’ve been with work. I’ve been thinking about what I’ve learned in the last year work-wise and really what I’ve learned in the past three years and it’s a lot, people. Just a ton. So I thought I’d share some of it and then next year I can look back and shake my head and think, “Just…
Where I’m at

Dawn

5 Feb 2010 | 5:32 am

It’s been a long week. Actually a long two weeks. I still haven’t written about Noah’s bar mitzvah but now I’m not sure if I will. It’s hard to write about events like that without making them maudlin and it’s too dear to my heart to risk it. I can’t believe that Noah is 13 though. Right before the ceremony we were talking about how he’ll be 20 when Madison has her bat mitzvah and the rabbi said, “Don’t go there! Don’t let your mind picture that right now!” Yeah, it was a little much to contemplate. But it was lovely. And…
How Madison signs off

Dawn

4 Feb 2010 | 10:03 am

Over at Madison’s blog, she always has an enthusiastic sign-off but it loses something in the blogging. So I got her to perform them for you. Madison signs off from Dawn Friedman on Vimeo. As you can see, Madison is the most fun person in our (very fun) family. She also has personality for days and days and days. I like that y’all can see her because I think it lends more to the stories about her. I think it helps a lot of what I write here make more sense because THAT is the kid I am talking about! Related posts:I’m still in essay hell Wordpress stuff Warming up my typing…

Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity
Child rights and adoption seminar held in Vietnam

Tracy

25 Jan 2010 | 12:27 pm

On January 14th and 15th, Vietnamese and foreign officials met in Da Nang to discuss child rights issues and adoption. The workshop was sponsored by Vietnam’s Ministry of Justice. VietnamPlus reported: According to the Ministry of Labour, War Invalids and Social Affairs, Vietnam has about 1.47 million disadvantaged children, including 85,000 orphans, 1.3 million disabled, 21,900 street [...]
Ireland officially suspends adoptions from Vietnam

Tracy

15 Jan 2010 | 9:16 pm

Though the bilateral agreement on adoption between Ireland and Vietnam expired on May 1, 2009, Irish officials had reported that a new agreement between the two countries was being negotiated. However, Irish Minister of State for Children Barry Andrews announced this week that Ireland has decided to suspend adoptions from Vietnam until both Vietnam and Ireland [...]
Vietnam Adoptions: One agency’s perspective and future outlook.

jena

2 Jan 2010 | 8:43 am

In August 2009, Pearl S. Buck International’s Program director for Nepal, Philippines, SWAN, Post-Permanency, and Independent programs, as well as Vietnam Coordinator while that program was open, traveled to Vietnam. VVAI had the chance to interview Ms. Carter-Tryon and ask her about her impressions, the work PSBI does and PSBI’s outlook for any future adoptions [...]
UNICEF Report and its impact

jena

24 Nov 2009 | 8:04 pm

There were two articles in Irish publications this week that referenced UNICEF’s report on Vietnamese adoptions. The irishtimes.com article states: The final report from the UN body, released yesterday, also found that “the level and nature of inter-country adoptions from Vietnam are essentially influenced by foreign demand”. It also called into question the manner by which many children [...]
Two Arrested For Trafficking In Southern Vietnamese Province

Christina

9 Nov 2009 | 7:17 pm

According to Agence France-Presse Police in Vietnam have arrested two people suspected of trafficking 20 babies in the communist country since 2007, a report said Monday. The two suspects, a man and a woman detained Saturday in the southern province of Dong Nai, had confessed to buying the babies at hospitals in the south of the [...]

Upside-Down Adoption
How are you doing in your life?

8 Feb 2010 | 12:55 pm

BB's foster mom has been very irritated with the assessment delay. At the end of last week, she called up BB's worker, and told her to "sh*t or get off the pot" (in exactly so many words) then threatened to call her supervisor. As a result of all this pressure across multiple fronts, we're finally starting to see movement. BB's foster mom confirmed that the assessment agency called her back and said they'd received the referral. On our end, we submitted a subsidy letter so that we can get a presentation date, but we've supposedly reserved the right to change the amount in…
Subsidy Negotiation Desperation

4 Feb 2010 | 10:38 am

I'm probably breaking the advice I gave myself on some earlier posts. I'm facing a very tough decision I didn't even know I had to make until just this week, and I'm starting to get really desperate and emotional and angry about it. I've been informed that the next step on BB is to request a subsidy amount. When we did this for Sunny, it wasn't that hard. The worker told me exactly what to do. I sat down in a meeting with our worker, and she gave me a list of things and amounts to request. I added the amounts together and put that in an email I sent Sunny's…
The Benefits of "Open" Adoption

3 Feb 2010 | 8:02 am

A few days ago, when Sunny was mad at me for giving him a consequence for backtalking, he said, "I can't wait to go to [Foster Mom]'s this summer!" After he'd calmed down and apologized, I asked him, "You said what you said about going away this summer because you were mad and you wanted to hurt me, right?" "Yes. I'm sorry." "I understand that you were mad, but that wasn't a good choice. Anyway, I'm happy you're getting to visit [Foster Mom]. I'm going to miss you when you're gone for the week, but you're not going to hurt me by talking about going to visit [Foster Mom]. Also, does [Foster…
Talking About Feelings

1 Feb 2010 | 8:23 am

Last week's therapy was the first time Sunny had a meltdown with the therapist. They were playing his new SMath game that he'd brought to therapy. I'd warned the therapist in advance that Sunny tends to get a little obsessed and overemotional when it comes to new games. Sure enough, he had an argument with her about the right way to play the game. She said that she wasn't able to play the game with him until he calmed down. He yelled and argued and cried and blamed her. On the positive side, he was able to pull himself out of the state, apologize, and finish up the session well. He's on a…
Haiti News Over the Weekend

1 Feb 2010 | 6:14 am

I said I wouldn't follow up, but I somehow feel obligated. Medical evacuations resumed late yesterday, thank goodness. There's no telling how many people died because airlifts were suspended for five days. Then there was the child trafficking arrest story: the ten Americans who were arrested trying to sneak a bunch of Haitian kids across the Dominican border. I read about that here and followed up here at the Baltimore Sun, where there's also video. Among the many disturbing aspects to the story is the fact that one of the Americans is an 18-year-old girl. Her father back in the States has…

Third Mom
The home stretch

Margie

4 Feb 2010 | 4:45 am

I got an offer.A very good offer, a job with everything I have been looking for, and more. I'm still pinching myself, still not quite believing it happened.I have to pass the background check and drug check, and need to go through the lengthy onboarding process, so I'm keeping all my options open until I'm absolutely certain it's a done deal. But given my boring life, unless chocolate is a drug, I think I'll pass these last hurdles without a problem.And then, on February 22nd, my target first day, I will exhale. In the meantime, I am sending the most positive thoughts to every single person…
From my little corner of DC

Margie

26 Jan 2010 | 5:25 am

Hi! Long time no write-read-etc.!I've been busy, so I hope you'll forgive me. The job search is taking all my energy, and what little left is going to Korean Focus's annual lunar new year celebration and some much-needed work around the house. We've replaced the smoke detectors (did I tell you that already?) and yesterday successfully replace our old thermostat. I say successfully, because with all those wires, there's always the possibility that you end up with a lovely installation but no heat. But it worked!The search is actually going well. I've had several interviews, one with good…
So good to hear from you guys - and a little adoption talk

Margie

12 Jan 2010 | 8:55 am

You all do my heart good, that's for sure. Thanks for stopping by that last post, for the book suggestions, the general hellos and the good wishes. I feel really badly that I haven't commented - oh, heck, I haven't even read - any blogs lately, so forgive me. I'm slowly getting back into the swing of things, and sooner or later will stop by to visit. But I still feel badly that I've abandoned all the good stuff you're reading, so please also leave links to any of your recent posts that you'd like me to read.I did see a link on Facebook that I've shared there and am passing on to everyone:…
I know. I owe you an update.

Margie

6 Jan 2010 | 1:30 pm

Well. Where do I even begin?How about I start with what I should have posted a week ago: Happy New Year to everyone! Whatever holidays you may celebrate, I hope they were filled with all good things.Ours certainly was. We went to Ohio for a few days, not as long as usual, but packed with family and lots of fun. I honestly can't believe the holidays are behind us already; they just flew by. We still haven't taken our decorations down, but plan on getting everything put away by the weekend. I don't really want to, but I guess it's time.No, I haven't found new employment yet. But it's OK. I've…
From our winter wonderland

Margie

21 Dec 2009 | 5:33 am

We had a little snow.This was definitely one of the biggest snows I've experienced in over 30 years in DC, and the biggest we've had in this house. Although the shoveling (and shoveling, and shoveling, and shoveling ...) has been a bit of a drag, it was absolutely beautiful waking up on Saturday to this snow-covered world. It started after 9 on Friday, and literally poured down until almost the same time the next day.The Girl loves the stuff, so she's been going out, walking to friends' houses, helping with the shoveling. The Boy, on the other hand, is decidedly nonplussed; we forced him to…

Heart, Mind and Seoul
On Again & Off Again.

Paula O'Loughlin

31 Jan 2010 | 8:55 pm

"Mom, I have an unknown grandma, don't I?" "Yes. . .you do." "And an unknown grandpa, too?" "Yes. And maybe unknown uncles, aunts and cousins as well." "Will I ever get to meet them?" "I don't know, sweetie. I honestly don't know." This conversation I had with my nearly 8 year-old daughter earlier today came about after she remarked aloud how much she looked like both of her parents and how I didn't look at all like either of mine. She of course knows that I am adopted and knows that I do not have any…
The Act of Giving Back: Should More Women Be Placing Their Children?

Paula O'Loughlin

26 Jan 2010 | 9:45 pm

You are an adoptive parent to 3 beautiful children. Unexpectedly, you find out that you are pregnant - something you and your partner never thought possible. A flurry of mixed emotions overcome you. You're not exactly old, but it's true that you are indeed older. You immediately think of the impact it will have on your family financially, physically and emotionally. You think about how your husband has told you time and time again how excited he is knowing that your family is complete and how free he feels to finally be out of the diaper, bottle and toddler stages. …
The Memory of Loss

Paula O'Loughlin

11 Jan 2010 | 10:41 am

"Mommy, what will happen to me and (his sister's name) if you and daddy die? I'm scared of losing you and daddy. I don't want you to go. ~My 5 year-old son to me, while playing Legos with him recently I suppose the above sentiments might startle and even scare some parents. And I have to admit there was a part of me that got startled, too. What mostly caught me off guard about this recent conversation with my son was not the subject matter itself, but the manner in which he spoke about it. The evidence of his careful and reasoned thinking behind his questions…
Workout Wednesday

Paula O'Loughlin

6 Jan 2010 | 9:18 am

It feels slightly odd to deviate from adoption related material here on this blog, but something in the New Year air must be making me feel a little racy. :) I thought I'd start with baby steps here, using Wednesdays to introduce another passion and interest of mine - exercise. Life long friends of mine know that I have always had quite the fascination with the age of 40. I just think it is a beautiful, amazing and incredible age - and the start of what I have always believed to be an phenomenal decade for a woman. I think part of it has to do with so many women that I've…
The F-Word We Don't Talk About in Adoption

Paula O'Loughlin

5 Jan 2010 | 10:31 am

I sometimes wonder what my first experiences with food might have looked like. Did I have the chance to be nursed by my Korean mother? If so, what was the frequency, duration and how did the feeding session end? I can't help but think that the nursing experiences I had with my own daughter were dramatically different than those between me and my Korean mother, assuming that she was able to breastfeed me at all. What was my first experience with nourishment outside the womb really like? If not my mother's milk, did I have water, formula or something else? Was I able to…

Just Enjoy Him
writing/not writing . . .

justenjoyhim

16 Jan 2010 | 3:49 pm

I haven’t written here in almost a month. I write in FaceBook lately — one sentence updates, blurbs. I can do those, it seems. Once in awhile, I’ll write a “note,” which is something like a blog post. I’ve been good, good to great even. When you pass your second “you’re in remission” check, how can life be anything but pretty darn good? Oh, it still has its challenges and difficulties, but they don’t seem worth writing about here somehow. I recently had a vacation where I visited a good friend in Orlando, the same friend I visited…
all because I forgot a date

justenjoyhim

23 Dec 2009 | 5:38 am

Happy tears, all because I forgot a date. Disbelief, all because I forgot a date. Relief, all because I forgot a date. Praise to God, all because I forgot a date. Feeling B.L.E.S.S.E.D., all because I forgot a date. Realizing how this can’t even be described with words, all because I forgot a date. __________________________________________________________ On December 20, 2007, I received news that I had cancer. I thought I would never pass that date without feeling a twinge, a start, an immense pain . . . but it happened. This year, only two years later, the date whizzed by, and it was…
countdown(s)

justenjoyhim

22 Dec 2009 | 10:24 am

Two more days of work until our winter break (until Jan. 4), three more days until Christmas, seven more days until we spend a night at an indoor waterpark (and visit my mom who’s in a nursing home in the same town), and 15 more days until Absent Minded Professor, Energy Boy, and I are in FLORIDA!! Yay!! Posted in family, life, travel
a happy news list post

justenjoyhim

19 Dec 2009 | 6:58 am

1. Great news, the BEST: I received word on Tuesday that a new-fangled blood test that measures cancer cells in the body better than previous blood tests came back with NO CANCER in my body so I am still IN COMPLETE REMISSION!! YAHOOSKI!! 2. Energy Boy is being the sweetest ever. I hope I don’t jinx that by posting this . He said to me several times last night, “you’re a good one, Mom.” Awww. He’s a good one too. 3. Things have changed in the world of Santa these days. I asked EB if he wanted to see Santa at the mall and he said, “Naah, I emailed…
anniversary

justenjoyhim

9 Dec 2009 | 2:41 am

As of today, I’ve been in remission for one year. Posted in Cancer, health

The Chronicles of Munchkin Land
Some Thoughts on Sharing, Over-Sharing and The Like

Jenna

2 Feb 2010 | 7:44 am

As I make my way back into the groove of blogging and working after the loss of my grandfather, I’m thinking a lot about a question I asked over on BlogHer just yesterday. Basically, the question was: How much do you share regarding your adoption story? How much is too much? After I asked that, D let me know that she has purchased a domain and is going to blog! I will not link you as of yet. I will wait for her to find her comfort level and out herself. That said, it was perfect timing for both this question and the one I plan on asking next! I’ve learned a lot about what is mine…
Knowing the Love

Jenna

23 Jan 2010 | 11:15 am

I’m missing Grandpa. As with any death, the week spent at home was mostly spent talking about and remembering the man that was my grandfather, my Papau. All kinds of stories were told. Lots of laughter was had as he was a man that was always smiling. In the midst of these stories, I was remembering a discussion I had with Papau this past September. Without vocalizing that story, I learned another that recently happened between my mother, my grandma and my grandpa. The topic was adoption. My grandma was the first one to whom I mentioned adoption. I stayed with them after the surgery on…
Why It’s Not a Memoir

Jenna

15 Jan 2010 | 10:06 am

As the new contract(s) listing both me and Dawn as co-authors are being sent out by our agent (!), the book is in the front of my thought process. I think of it when showering and when I’m driving. It’s just there, making itself known. We’re starting to work on some things individually and attempting to schedule time to work together. Perhaps we need to employ Skype with video and voice conferencing. You wouldn’t think an hour distance along 70 would be a huge deal. You’ve never seen my schedule or Dawn’s; we’re busy women. I’ve received some…
Green

Jenna

13 Jan 2010 | 12:29 pm

I came across an interesting quote. I don’t know if it’s 100% true but I think it has basis in truth. Jealousy is nothing more than fear of abandonment. -Unknown Wow. I wonder if, perhaps, that’s why we see so much jealousy, back and forth, between adoptive and birth parents. I know I’ve felt a twinge here and there over the years when D got to experience something with the Munchkin that, had I parented, I would have experienced myself. Those little thoughts that poke at my brain and push the “what if” button. Not proactive thoughts, mostly reactive. Having…
Open Adoption Roundtable #12: 2010

Jenna

8 Jan 2010 | 7:56 am

The question: Call them resolutions, commitments, changes, or choices–how will you be proactive in the area of open adoption in 2010? As always, I have some things in mind that involve being proactive about promoting awareness and acceptance at the same time. Well, as Dawn said, we’re writing a book. So, there’s that. I’ve also been put in charge of the adoption group discussions at BlogHer for awhile in hopes of kick-starting the conversation. While this seems like nothing overly important or huge, I’d present the argument than Dawn uses whenever she’s…

Mommyhood and Life
Shake the Disease – Can I Graduate?

Coco

3 Feb 2010 | 3:25 pm

I realized something yesterday morning. Something besides the fact that Little Bit tore off part of one of her claws (ew. that actually sounds worse than it is)and bled all over the kitchen floor in tiny, red paw prints that looked like some kind of gruesome dance step guide, that is.* *Don’t feel sorry for her. She never made a peep and has not slowed down one iota. When I tried to administer first aid, she clawed me most ungratefully, then bit my nose AGAIN. The bleeding has stopped. Hers and mine. All is as normal. I’ve been sober for over 60 days. I’m not much of a date…
Shake The Disease, Weeks 6 (Redux), 7, and 8 – I Don’t Even Play An Instrument.

Coco

26 Jan 2010 | 4:02 pm

Remember in Groundhog Day when Phil decides that he is going to win over the object of his affections, Rita, by becoming her “perfect” man? One of her qualifiers was that Mr. Perfect had to play an instrument. Phil finds the local piano teacher and gives her a thousand dollars to begin his lessons immediately. Of course, he winds up being a little bit better each day, even though to the teacher, it’s always his first lesson. Eventually, Phil becomes a talented jazz pianist and wows everyone at the Groundhog shindig, including the hapless Rita, who is none the wiser about…
Another Hard-Hitting Aunt Becky Interview

Coco

14 Jan 2010 | 8:00 am

Today I am humping Aunt Becky’s leg even more than I normally do because she is giving away a $50 Amazon Gift Card in honor of realizing her dream of becoming Aunt Becky, Incorporated. *wipes away tear* My little girl is all grown up now! Anyway, go visit my lovely Becky at her blog and enter the giveaway so my entry can clearly outshine yours we can all hold hands and sing songs together! There are even 3 ways to enter and NONE of them involve donkey butts. Woo! Without further ado, here is my entry for Part III of the contest: 1) Dave and I have a long-standing feud over cheese in a…
Helpless

Coco

13 Jan 2010 | 7:55 pm

In lieu of a smart-alecky post I had planned on, I think it is better, right now, for me to simply offer my thoughts and prayers for all the victims of the Haiti earthquake. Tomorrow, I may appear outwardly blithe. But my heart will ache for those who have lost their entire world, in a place already facing some of the worst poverty anywhere on earth. Along with that, I will offer a donation to as many organizations I can to help those affected. For information on what you can do to help, CNN has a comprehensive list here.
My Life, In One Act

Coco

8 Jan 2010 | 10:31 am

SCENE: Kitchen, early evening. MOM, BADGER and LITTLE BIT are all stage left. BADGER is taunting LITTLE BIT with a toy. Mom (calmly): Badger, please do not do that to the kitten. Badger: *whacks Little Bit in the face with his Buzz Lightyear action figure* What? Little Bit: *attacks Badger’s arm like a Tasmanian Devil in much-deserved retaliation* Badger: WAHHHHHH! KITTY BITE ME! *tosses kitten four feet across the tile floor* Mom (less calm now): Badger! What have I told you about throwing the cat?! Badger: *crickets* Mom (grinding teeth together): Go. Play. Somewhere. Else. Badger:…

FAMILY PRESERVATION ADVOCACY
Six Flags Adoptions? Homegate Baby Mill?

AdoptAuthor

8 Feb 2010 | 8:28 am

Remember Baby Gabriel? Of course. Who could forget. Least of all his father.Desperately searching for clues, Logan McQueary did his own PI investigative work, retracing the last known footsteps of Gabriels' mother Elizabeth Johnson.He posted fliers and asked questions at the Subway next to her hotel, the Jack In The Box, and even a Papa Johns because Johnson's babysitter saw empty pizza boxes from the restaurant on her hotel room floor.....After talking to an adoption expert who helps the FBI in the world of underground adoptions, the McQueary family learned some startling connections. The…
Monday Morning Quarterbacking in Haitian Kidnapping Case

AdoptAuthor

8 Feb 2010 | 7:56 am

The Wall Street Journal reports that Laura Silsby and the nine other U.S. missionaries detained in Haiti's quake-devastated capital and investigated for alleged abduction will be questioned today by the magistrate designated last week to conduct the probe, officials said over the weekend.Note the change in separating out Silsby and the nine, instead of identifying them as 10 missionaries. After an initial probe, a Haitian judge last week ordered that the missionaries be formally investigated. Most international media interpreted the ruling as meaning the Americans were being formally…
Clinton, Haiti Kidnappings, and Evangelism

AdoptAuthor

7 Feb 2010 | 12:28 pm

A diplomatic deal brokered by Bill Clinton over the 10 American missionaries jailed in Haiti on child abduction charges may lead to the release this week of all except the group’s leader, Laura Silsby, according to legal sources in Port-au-Prince.A month after Silsby founded what is now being defined as "her" charity, the New Life Children’s Refuge, last November, her Idaho home was repossessed. She also faces several lawsuits over unpaid bills and employee wages relating to an internet business she had founded, PersonalShopper.com. So, it seems she solicited the help of the church to…
Bitterness

AdoptAuthor

7 Feb 2010 | 12:11 pm

A comment on FirstMotherForum brought up another aspect of the emotional fallout of doptio loss: bitterness.Do you feel bitter? Are we entitled to feeling bitter?Are adoptees more enttiled than parents who have lost childre to adoption? Is bitterness ever motivating or useful in any way?It often hear the term used pejoratively to attack our empowerment, much like the words "bitch" and bitchy are thrown at females who are in any way assertive, successful or powerful. It is part of women's inhumanity toward women which is all about self-hate, jealousy, and misery loving company. Be "nice" and…
Shame and Pain

AdoptAuthor

7 Feb 2010 | 11:00 am

I blog today not about news as I have been doing, but about the tough stuff: the emotional scares of adoption loss. I have blogged about loss and grief.I have blogged about anger.Yet underlying much of the lifelong legacy suffered by mothers (and their children) who experience adoption loss and separation.Dr Marc Miller, Ph.D. writes:One of the most striking contradictions that I have come across as a therapist is the discrepancy between the centrality of the affect of shame in humans, and the lack of attention shame has received in the study and practice of psychology. In my own…

Musing Mother
12 Jan 2010 | 5:53 pm

Sandy Young

12 Jan 2010 | 5:53 pm

I am an alumnus of the Salvation Army's Booth Memorial Hospital Maternity Home in St. Louis, MO. My son was born in the hospital floor of the home and left from there to go into foster care until my parental rights were terminated and he could go home with what would become his adoptive parents.My friend, Bastardette, in her blog, posted about the fact that Missouri is working yet again on yet another bill to open the records for adult adoptees and their adoptive parents. The records they are talking about are pretty vague, and there are rather sketchy references to records of the adoption…
4 Dec 2009 | 9:40 am

Sandy Young

4 Dec 2009 | 9:40 am

THE PARTY'S OVER....I just got home yesterday. I have been in the state where my son lives, the state where I lost him, the state that I have avoided with all my might for the past 25 years (the time when my son should have been old enough to get his paperwork and find me the agency said in 1967) except for short visits of necessity. It is the state where my family, sisters and brother, and best friend lived until they recently scattered upon their retirements. My husband, who had been out of work for 7 months, took a temporary job there, and I, Gypsy-wife, followed him there. It was to be a…
12 Nov 2009 | 11:36 am

Sandy Young

12 Nov 2009 | 11:36 am

The end of this month, I will be sending off questions to the Primal Wound Book Tour, moderated by Lori Holden of The Examiner.com. The tour consists of 42 participants, each representing one area of the adoption plane. There will be mothers, both natural and adoptive, and adult adoptees. We will read the book, submit questions, provide answers, and blog about it on a determined day. I look forward to learning from the others, and just discovered that Nancy Verrier will likely participate, as well. I am finding reading the book again to be highly triggering, perhaps more triggering than the…
15 Aug 2009 | 4:54 pm

Sandy Young

15 Aug 2009 | 4:54 pm

BARCODED BABYThere was recently an article in a Canadian Newspaper about a reunion of the infamous Butterbox Babies that got me thinking about these early entrepreneurs of adoption. The Butterbox Babies were Canada’s answer to the equally infamous Georgia Tann, The United States baby seller made notorious again by Barbara Bisantz Raymond in her book, The Baby Thief. The UK had The Magdalen Laundries. Australia recently issued an apology to their indigenous people for the Stolen Generation and had a Parliamentary Inquiry, similar to a Congressional Investigation, focusing on corrupt adoption…
10 Aug 2009 | 10:13 pm

Sandy Young

10 Aug 2009 | 10:13 pm

As Forums Go, Craig's List is Interesting....Some time ago, I joined Craig's List. My husband is always looking on there, trying to find the best deal he can for something. At first, we were looking for a travel trailer, but it became a sort of habit. One day, I discovered that there were forums there. I went in to one, Adoption, thinking that it would be interesting to see a different slant. If you really want to know what people think about adoption, go to a place where the people can post anonymously, and there is little or no moderation. That would be Craig's List. What a snakepit! It is…

birthmom-confessionsof
Teen Mom

birthmom1986

5 Feb 2010 | 5:51 pm

I watch Teen Mom on MTV. I watch it every week. Here in adoptionblogland, everyone gushes over Cate Lynn. I'm jealous. I'm jealous because her mother wanted her to keep her baby and she gave her up anyways.If I had ONE person on my side, my daughter would have never been relinquished. That is what makes me angry. Maybe it was the best decision for her, but shit, her mother was fighting for her own granddaughter and she was the villian for a while. She wasn't selfish, she just wanted to help her daughter out.My favorite? Amber. Yeah, she can be a bitch. But guys, (and gals) this girl has…
2 Feb 2010 | 1:50 pm

birthmom1986

2 Feb 2010 | 1:50 pm

So my son is going to college. I'm letting it all out here. I'm pissed.I called my sister yesterday and all she said was "oh". That was it. No congrats, nothing. Oh. She is an Elementary School Principal. She makes more money than me, the lowly factory worker. Yep, I'm a piece of shit person who didn't go to college, but who works every fucking day. Yeah. I haven't ever asked her for shit once in my fucking life.Bitch. I know what she is thinking. Since my son is spawn of the whore, he cannot attend and graduate college. He is doomed to he a factory worker/whore like his mother. My daughter,…
22 Jan 2010 | 7:32 pm

birthmom1986

22 Jan 2010 | 7:32 pm

I'm going to a new church Sunday. By myself. I have a problem with organized Christianity. I grew up in a conservative Christian church. (bear with me) Okay. We went to church EVERY Sunday, yet my mom was a complete psychotic bitch who made my life a living hell. I remembered today, her yelling at me for eating lunch meat because it was my dad's. I was pregnant and she was yelling at me for eating. Yeah. That and I remembered today her laughing at me when I had my head in the toilet with morning sickness. Then she said "well, that is what you deserve!" Yep. Mom was a real pill. So I was…
15 Jan 2010 | 7:36 pm

birthmom1986

15 Jan 2010 | 7:36 pm

Thanks for the well wishes and comments.I did fine.I think that I have a good sense of humor. You have to have one to survive, let alone the shit that I went through.The doctor told my husband that the polyps look like precancerous cells, so that is really good news. Had I waited a couple of years, it might not have been good. But I couldn't wait that long.She said that there were no blood vessels attached to the polyps. At least I didn't have to have a hysterectomy.Thanks again everyone.
14 Jan 2010 | 4:17 pm

birthmom1986

14 Jan 2010 | 4:17 pm

Goodbye, my childbearing years. You are almost officially over.I have thought for about six months now that I was going through premenopause. I finally broke down and went to the gyno, and tomorrow, I'm having my IUD removed, a tubal, a D&C and a uterine ablation.And..........my daughter is coming to see us on Saturday. Surgery tomorrow, daughter on Saturday.I know I will be okay. I'm just tired of feeling horrible half the time. And I mean half because now I have two periods a month.However, I will not be able to be the surrogate mother of my daughter's children. We have joked about that for…

All About a Girl
Little update on life etc…

I know, I’ve been slacking in writing/blogging and so forth…but life changes when you finally move into your own place and have to figure things out and all, ya know. It’s a little different being married and living alone, just the two of you in your own place and working things out how you want them [...]
Thoughts…

I’ve had all sorts of thoughts going through my head lately, which isn’t unusual, of course lol…but I was playing a game the other day where it came to a point in the game where you had to make a choice…the choice was you could bring back your family who had died or all of [...]
‘Waxing Philosophical’ or just random thoughts…

I was thinking yesterday how I love music and I should listen to it and dance again like I use to…but then after listening to some music…I remembered part of why I don’t listen to it as much anymore…it gets me thinking too deep of thoughts and going down memory lane or things that sometimes [...]
Little Update on My Visit…The beginning of transitioning from semi-open to more open…

with my 4 1/2 yr. old’s parents…it was on Saturday afternoon, May 16, at their house. Okay so I went to the jewelry show at their house and it was a really good experience/visit for us . Hubby went with me cause he really wanted to meet them and wants to be involved and is very [...]
Weird, how things happen, isn’t it?

Okay, I’m freaking out a little right now…in a way that I’m sitting here calmly while inside I’m shrieking and reminding myself to breathe lol. I was just doing stuff around the house and left the room and came back in and found a message popped up on my Facebook chat from my 4 1/2 yr. [...]

Cigarettes & Coffee
fossil fuel

Barb

16 Jan 2010 | 11:46 am

therapy has done wonders for me. i've uttered words that i never thought would be heard by another human being. i understand myself a little more. with the new found freedom of having the Kiddo's phone number & email address, i'm no longer reliant on waiting for Betty to pass on information. all because i picked up the damn phone in a moment of courage. while i am realistic about my therapist being a mere mortal, i feel as if the Great & Powerful Oz has shown me what i already possessed.relieving and calming on many levels, there's also some unease. i've been thriving on fury, hurt,…
toolbox

Barb

8 Jan 2010 | 8:11 am

From Yahoo Answers:Can adoptive parents legally cut off communication entirely in a SEMI-OPEN adoption?My husband and I are thinking of adopting a baby. The birth parents want a semi-open adoption, which we are willing to do. We agreed to send pictures and updates twice per year, and the birth parents are free to send us whatever communication they'd like. They do not know our full names, our state of residence, etc.My question is, if at some point down the road, we no longer want to keep the adoption semi-open and want to make it a closed adoption, can we do that or can the birth parents…
Cigs & Coffee PSA

Barb

8 Jan 2010 | 3:40 am

we interrupt this regularly scheduled blog with a short PSA:a woman is not a "birthmother" until she signs the damned TPR. for the love of pete, especially you agency folks, show a little respect and call her what she is: an expectant mother.
inches turn to miles

Barb

6 Jan 2010 | 2:05 am

while we ate dinner, post surprise induced choking, we watched an episode of a short-lived series that i'm really starting to enjoy (RIP Firefly, i'm sorry it took me so long to watch), my mind ran amok. when the episode ended, Chris asked me if i was up for another."i need a few minutes with the pictures. i've been waiting three years. give me five minutes."i poured over them, zooming in on some, mentally tracing his features. i don't take this for granted. while pictures/updates may be "old hat" for some, i feel as if the sun finally broke after an extraordinarily long cloudy spell.lying in…
tilt

Barb

5 Jan 2010 | 4:26 pm

i had a mouthful of mac-n-cheese when my blackberry chimed, signaling a new message. when i saw the subject line, "pictures at long last", i coughed repeatedly, prompting my husband to say "arms up" and i nearly dropped my dinner.pictures.the Kiddo's face filled the screen on my laptop, and i started to cry. not from sadness, but from relief.the message Betty sent said the Kiddo picked out these specific photos, and well, that just made me laugh. apparently he's very critical of photos of himself these days.i sent a quick message back, thanking her for them, saying that i was amazed at how…

Maryreunited
Regret~

Maryreunited

7 Feb 2010 | 1:22 pm

"Don't live your life in regret" Zoe GreystoneThat is a line from the show Caprica- I think it's a great line- in fact I think the show is going to be great- It has everything it needs to be a truly great show (or so I believe) but the show is not the point of this post- Although I do have to give a big shout out to Sasha Roiz and Esai Morales - both are so good (not to mention SEX-ON-A-STICK!) and if you are not watching this show, you should be! So let's pick it apart this regret thing, it kind of goes with my thoughts yesterday on ways of seeing. As one commenter pointed out- we see things…
Ways Of Seeing~

Maryreunited

6 Feb 2010 | 9:55 pm

How many ways of seeing do you think there are? Yes, we look with our eyes, but do we always look with more than that? Do we put what we are seeing in context? To time? To place? To self? To others?Do we also see with our hearts? Our senses? Can you feel what you see? Can you hold it in ways that have nothing to do with seeing? Do we see with our hands? Can you see with your mind? I think the answer to all those things is yes, we see in all those ways....But, I think the thing of more import is what we do not see- or at least what some in this thing called adoption fail to see, or refuse to…
Memory~

Maryreunited

4 Feb 2010 | 4:12 pm

"Memory... is an internal rumor" - George SantayanaSo think about that quote- kind of strange to think of memory that way is it not?I believe our memories are both subjective and objective. (in time at least) But memory is not static, it's a living thing. It breathes, it cries out to be heard, it breaks our hearts, and uplifts us as well.Since my reunion, I have regained (recovered?) memories that at times I wish would have remained buried in my subconscious. They are painful, dreadful, horrific, and yet some of them, are lovely, sweet and I play those out in my mind over and over. I remember…
Saturday again-

Maryreunited

30 Jan 2010 | 12:29 pm

And here I sit contemplating yet again the road my life has taken. How did I get where I am, when I wanted to be some where completely different?Choices that are not choices, choices that are choices- and everything in between on the road to where I am...I often wonder what sort of person I would have been if adoption had not entered my life. Would I still think it was a wonderful thing? Or would I like many realize that there is something wrong with the system? That it is a broken thing, in need of demolishing, of tearing down and not rebuilding it in any way that would resemble what it is…
Something Different today~

Maryreunited

27 Jan 2010 | 6:36 pm

Food for thought- a poem- view this poem through the lens of feminism- and think of "The Book of Myths" as The Book of Man, from which women are largely absent. Ask yourself how this applies to adoption- and our place in it- thought provoking indeed~Diving Into the WreckFirst having read the book of myths,and loaded the camera,and checked the edge of the knife blade,I put onthe body-armor of black rubberthe absurd flippersthe grave and awkward mask.I am having to do thisnot like Cousteau with his assiduous teamaboard the sun-flooded schoonerbut here alone.There is a ladderThe ladder is always…

Adopted Jane
I have fixed comments (I think)

4 Feb 2010 | 3:17 am

Feel Free to try it outI cant wait to change my templateAnyone want to volunteer!
Please Help this Woman Burnt over 80% of her body

4 Feb 2010 | 1:18 am

Please if you live in America please help this beautiful woman..Audrey MabreyA victim of Domestic Violence her estranged husband threw lighter fluid at her and set her alight :(She has TWO Small childrenShe needs helpI have watched the love pour out for Stephanie And Christian Nielson, so I know Americans have huge hearts, please can you help this lovely young woman
Attachment

3 Feb 2010 | 10:04 pm

I was going to leave a comment HERE on my friends blog. But I decided to post it here as a blog post.. I hope a few bells go off!And Why the FRICK do adoptive children HAVE Attachment issues in the first placeDOH it doesn't take Einstein to work it outBut as ALWAYS the aparents take it that its their fault that its some inner issue they have that is causing this (trying to martyr themselves)It wouldn't matter WHAT adoptive parent the kid had, the kid would still have attachment issues because its NOT the kids MOTHER. its the kids SECOND MOTHERWhy doesn't society have a problem with people…
Ive Changed my template ..

13 Jan 2010 | 5:26 pm

I've not heard back from blogger buster , I hope Amanda is ok...I couldn't have half the stuff missing. It looked sillyNow it looks silly but not as bad. I did this myself. I found a free 3 colum template and used it.. It depicts me at the moment - TIRED.Tired of all the crap. Tired of all the BS in the World :(Anyway I quickly put this template up, wrote all my widgets to notepad and copied them back inSome look silly ! Some are in wrong order ! And I forgot some. Ie the ones down the bottom and some thing up the topIf I had you as a favorite could you drop me a line so I can add you back…
Happy Birthday To Me

13 Jan 2010 | 4:22 pm

It was my birthday on Monday.It was shitSame as every year.Nothing else to say reallyEnd of post.

A Child Chosen
Are Your Youngsters Becoming Too Public?

Mary Emma Allen

8 Feb 2010 | 8:47 am

Is privacy becoming an attitude of the past? Does the younger generation have a different version of privacy than yours? When I see all these young people posting private messages and candid photos on social media outlets, I wonder if they realize what some of the ramifications can be. Often the information is what we would have whispered in secret to our best friend. Nowadays, it’s made public for all one’s friends and often friends of friends, which translates into strangers. In some cases, I’ve even seen parents commenting on these private messages which seems…
Communicating with Your Youngsters

Mary Emma Allen

6 Feb 2010 | 8:16 am

When I was young, we didn’t think of it in terms of parents developing communication with their youngsters, of the necessity of Dad and Mom being on our wave length. It was our job to understand their messages, directions and, yes, commands. Were our feelings hurt sometimes? Did we have misunderstandings? Did we wish we didn’t have to do some of our farm chores? Yes, to all of these. But this prepared us for life, when those in the “outside” world might not take the time to consider our feelings before they spoke and the effects of their words afterwards.
The Valentine’s Fairy

Marye Audet

4 Feb 2010 | 1:45 pm

When I was growing up my parents liked to celebrate everything. Rarely did I just get a toy or gift bought for me … it was usually presented wrapped, bowed, and in honor of a special day.. First Tuesday in March Day, for example. Me, at age 6... 1966 Valentine’s Day was a big deal. It was celebrated in a big way with a special dinner and at some point during the evening the Valentine’s Fairy would sneak in and leave gifts for me to find. It was never anything big but the idea of having a fantasy creature leave me gifts was magical. When I asked Dad about it later, as an…
NY Elementary Teacher Encouraged Fighting

Eliza Ferree

4 Feb 2010 | 2:05 am

Two teachers (a teacher and the aide) are under a lot of heat after a parent overheard a conversation his 10-year-old was having with a friend while they played video games. What could’ve been so bad? The kids were talking about how they were told to fight in class and it was all coming from a teacher. The father catching wind of this story investigated further, making his boy tell him exactly what had went on and how the teacher was involved. News sites are reporting that the teacher told students: “Close the door, clear out the desks and stand back.” At this point the…
Faith Healing Parents Guilty in Son’s Death

Mary Emma Allen

3 Feb 2010 | 10:00 pm

A couple in Portland, OR have been found guilty of criminally negligent homicide, in the death of their 16-year old son. Scales of justice image: sxc.hu Apparently, they are members of a church that believes in prayer instead of modern medicine. So they refused the use of a catheter for complications in a urinary tract infection their son experienced. Other situations have been in the news where parents either have had legal action taken against them because they refused medical treatment of their children or disagreed with what doctors recommended. In some cases, the children have…

Birthmother
Haiti

20 Jan 2010 | 9:44 pm

Orphans. I'm not a weeper, but the Rachel Madow show was more than I could take tonight. Haitian orphans on a plane headed to the U.S. Adoptive families probably in their futures.I hope they will find love.I hope there's no one left behind in Haiti longing for them, looking for them.If I were just a little bit younger, maybe I would try to adopt a Hatian orphan.
Milestones

30 Dec 2009 | 2:41 pm

In a few days, I will receive a Master's Degree in Creative Writing. It's a big milestone for me and I happen to like celebrating milestones very much.I wasn't there when my son got his first tooth, went off to kindergarten, finished grade school or graduated from high school. I missed the first 21 years of his life. All of it.But here's the thing about reunion--important things continue to happen and we've been there for each other.Each year that goes by, that list will grow longer.
A Secret Not for Keeping or About Me & My Book

9 Dec 2009 | 3:57 pm

I've written a memoir about getting pregnant at 16 in my tiny Catholic town and giving my son up for adoption--and then later finding him after delivering $2000.00 in a manilla envelope to someone I barely knew--and how this brought happiness worth so much more than that to me and my daughters.I got a very fine agent on my first try back in the summer of 2006, and she shopped the book around to the top publishing houses and while the rejections were very complimentary, they were still rejections.The summer of 2007 my second family was broken apart when my husband left me to marry a size zero…
We Are Everywhere

8 Dec 2009 | 9:26 pm

"No!" the poet said. I'd caught her by surprise and her eyes were filling with tears. We were at my friend Barbara's annual Book Brunch, and the poet and I had just introduced ourselves to one another and were standing in the hallway. "What's your book about?" she asked me. So I told her."It's the story of getting pregnant at 16, giving my son up for adoption, and then reconnecting with him just before he turned 21.""I gave up a daughter," the poet said. "In New York." Then she went on to tell me she searched and searched and finally gave up. That she eventually forgave herself for not…
In The Shadow of the Twin Spires

9 Nov 2009 | 4:59 pm

I worried about going to hell pretty frequently during my 8 years of Catholic grade school. Girls were warned constantly against impure thoughts, words and deeds. It was hard to measure up against the martyred virginal saints who valued their purity more than their lives.When I got pregnant my senior year of high school, I felt marked forever as a sinner.Nowadays, in my home town, things are different. Young unmarried women don't have to keep their pregnancies secret and give away their babies. And guess what? The church is still standing. It hasn't been struck by a bolt of lightening…

Adoption Update
Personal Experience

adoptionupdate

2 Feb 2010 | 11:18 am

My daughter and I were shopping the other day and a woman walks in and we make eye contact. She immediately says to me, “is she (referring to my daughter) adopted?” Now for a split second I hesitate. I question her motive despite the fact that she appears harmless. Now, I am Caucasian and my daughter is Asian so we don’t look alike. But, there is always the possibility that my husband is Asian which could explain why my daughter looks Asian. However, that is not the case. (This one time a total stranger walked up to me and shouted, “she (referring to my daughter) is so…
Haitian Orphans Come To The United States

adoptionupdate

19 Jan 2010 | 5:10 pm

53 Orphans arrived in Pittsburg today to be united with their adoptive parents. In addition, hundreds of emergency Visas have been granted to children who were in the process of being adopted before the earthquake in Haiti. Rumors of a massive airlift of homeless children are making the rounds in Florida, led by Senator Bill Nelson. Will this “Operation Pierre Pan” take place? That’s the main question of the day. Not since the time of Operation Babylift at the end of the Vietnam War has the idea been entertained to transport hundreds of orphans to be cared for by US…
Guatemala Update for 2010

adoptionupdate

10 Jan 2010 | 11:29 am

CNA’s announcement of a Two-year Limited Pilot Program On November 20, 2009 the Department of State received a letter from the Guatemalan National Council on Adoptions (CNA) – the Guatemalan Central Authority — announcing its intention to launch a limited two-year pilot program that will allow for the adoption of a small number of older children, groups of siblings, and children with special needs. The CNA invited the Central Authorities of Hague Convention partner countries to express interest in participating in this program, in which no more than four countries will be chosen…
2010 Adoption Tax Credit

adoptionupdate

10 Jan 2010 | 11:26 am

The maximum amount adoptive parents can claim for their adoption tax credit this year is $12,170. This goes for special needs and non-special needs children. 2009’s maximum amount was $12, 150. So, the increase this year was only $20.00. I think we can all guess why. As addressed before in this earlier post, the tax credit set to expire on December 31, 2010. I urge you all to contact your congressmen and let them know how important this tax credit is to you and to your family. I did it last year and I will do it again this year. We all know that adoption is very expensive and we would…
2009 International Adoption Statistics

adoptionupdate

7 Dec 2009 | 2:38 pm

Top 20 Countries in 2009 China – 3,000* Ethiopia – 2,275* Russia – 1,600* South Korea – 1,050 Guatemala – 750 Ukraine – 600* Vietnam – 480 Haiti – 330* Kazakhstan – 295* India – 275* Philippines – 275 Taiwan – 267 Colombia – 230* Ghana – 100* Nigeria – 100 Poland – 77 Mexico – 70 Thailand – 59 Japan – 36* Worldwide Total – 12,700 Information taken from Across The World Adoptions.

Adoption Talk
"I don't want her to be sad"

8 Feb 2010 | 10:22 am

The overwhelming desire of parents to protect our children from all harm, all hurts, all disappointment, all sorrow has reached mythic proportions --Mama bear protecting her cub. Helicopter parents. Mother hen. Overprotective dad.And for adoptive parents, sometimes that protective instinct applies to our children's feelings about adoption. An adoptive mom told me once why she didn't want her daughter attending an adoption workshop -- "I don't want her to be sad about her adoption." Another adoptive mom had told her of her daughter's experience attending the workshop two years earlier -- she…
Is the Tide Turning? Do We Have the BBBS to Thank?!

6 Feb 2010 | 10:09 pm

In the immediate aftermath of the Haiti earthquake, the adoption blogosphere was shouting about how important it was to get the orphans OUT of Haiti and get them out NOW. Yes, there were some notable cautionary voices, but the majority seemed to favor Operation Pierre Pan, the plan to airlift 400,000 Haitian children to the U.S. Anyone speaking against it was surely anti-adoption. All the child welfare organizations speaking against it -- UNICEF, SOS Villages, Save the Children, World Vision -- were anti-adoption, too.If the Bumbling Baptist Baby-Snatchers (heretofore known as the BBBS) in…
Thank You!

6 Feb 2010 | 2:08 am

I owe a few thank yous -- to the group blog Grown in My Heart, for including this blog in their list of 101 best adoption, infertility & loss blogs! It is an awesome list, with lots of my old favorites and lots that look to be new favorites. They've broken the list down into categories, including Informational/Adoptee Rights, Domestic Adoption, International Adoption (further broken down into locations), Foster Care/Adoption, Adoptees, and First Parents. If you don't usually read blogs that are outside "your category," I challenge you to read at least one blog in each category -- I…
Ignorantia Juris Non Excusat

5 Feb 2010 | 7:11 am

Ignorance of the law is no excuse.We all know this old saw, right? Well, I was playing around with a post about the Bungling Baptist Baby-Snatchers in Haiti, explaining that their criminal stupidity could not provide them a defense. We presume that everyone knows the law, just so people charged with a crime can't claim lack of knowledge -- something we'd all be tempted to do. There'd be a strong motivation to bury one's head in the sand so that one could claim ignorance. In law, we actually talk about it as "willful blindness" or "the ostrich defense."And this group can't claim ignorance…
China: Boy Chained While Father Worked

4 Feb 2010 | 5:25 am

Here's a sad testament to the child trafficking problem in China, as well as the difficulties of migrant workers:Unlicenced rickshaw driver Chen Chuanliu told the Chinese wire service Xinhua News he chained his son Lao Lu to the post while he picked up customers because he feared kidnappers would steal the boy.Chen's four year-old daughter was stolen earlier last month. His wife was unable to care for Lao Lu because she was "mentally disabled.""I have to work to support my family," the 42-year-old told Xinhua News."I don't even have a picture of [my daughter] to use for a missing person and…

About.com: Adoption/Foster Care
Peyton Manning Is a Force On the Field and in His Community

7 Feb 2010 | 12:00 am

Andy Lyons / Getty Images I'm totally excited to find a Super Bowl connection for my Web site. Actually it's a Peyton Manning, of the Indianapolis Colts, connection and all the wonderful work he does to help children in need, including foster children. Yes, we know that Peyton Manning is known for his skills on the football field, but I didn't know about his big heart for children. Check out the following list of fast facts about this Super Bowl Champion Started the PeyBack Foundation which in 2009, donated $500,00 to 48 community organizations in Indiana $135,000 to 31 groups in Knoxville,…
Americans Charged with Child Abduction in Haiti

5 Feb 2010 | 3:50 pm

The drama seems to continue for the 10 Americans who were arrested last Friday for attempting to take 33 Haitian children out of Haiti and into the Dominican Republic. Today they were charged with child abduction and criminal conspiracy, but were lucky enough to escape the greater charge of human trafficking. The judge now has up to 3 months to decide whether to continue on with the legal proceedings or release the group. If convicted they could face up to 15 years in a Haitian prison. Reports state that the group maintains that it was just a misunderstanding, that they were just trying to…
Love Languages and the Family

3 Feb 2010 | 3:50 pm

We had a conversation with our daughter recently about some of her behavior. You know, not doing chores, blowing us off when we try to talk to her, not allowing me to acknowledge her existence in public. You know, tween stuff. We took the opportunity to talk to her while we were driving to Grandma's house for a visit - this way she doesn't have to look us in the eye. She also doesn't have to see that her dad's blood was boiling and he doesn't have to see her eye-rolling. Talking it out in the car, it's a win-win really. As we discussed our frustrations with each other, it hit me - it's a…
10 Americans Arrested After Allegedly Trying to Smuggle 33 Children Out of Haiti

1 Feb 2010 | 1:51 am

Joe Raedle / Getty Images This past Friday night, 10 Americans were arrested after getting caught trying to cross into the Dominican Republic with 33 Haitian children, ranging in age from 3 months to 12 years. Reports are stating that the Americans, part of the Idaho-based charity New Life Children's Refuge, did not have the proper paperwork needed to prove that the children were indeed orphans. According to recent statements in Reuters, the group thought they had permission to take the children to the Dominican Republic after a Baptist minister's Haitian orphanage collapsed in the January 12…
When Did You Become a Forever Family?

27 Jan 2010 | 12:00 am

Most of us love to talk about our children, but there seems to be something extra special about adoption stories. If you have added a child or children to your home through adoption, and created your own forever family, we'd love to read your adoption story. Read these adoption stories: Single Mom Adopts Two Children with RAD Foster Care Adoption Leads to Forever Family China Adoption Story for Two Little Girls Now Submit Your Adoption Story When Did You Become a Forever Family? originally appeared on About.com Adoption / Foster Care on Wednesday, January 27th, 2010 at 08:00:50.Permalink |…

firstmotherforum.com
The Latest Craze: Giving Away Baby

8 Feb 2010 | 10:05 am

Unlike fellow blogger Linda, I was not stunned at reading what was purported to be a response to a request for feedback from birthmothers on the online adoption agency, AdoptHelp.“I am not aware of any birth mothers who regret their decision” claims the unidentified writer. I saw this as a marketing gimmick, probably coming from an employee of AdoptHelp’s PR department. Testimonials from
Anti-Abortion Ad at the Super Bowl; No Relinquishment Regrets?

6 Feb 2010 | 7:22 am

I've tried in vain to avoid all things adoption, but once again it was front and center and unavoidable. I just finished reading Gail Collins' When Everything Changed, a history of the women's movement from the 60s to the present, and of course she discussed Roe v. Wade and out-of-wedlock pregnanices. I sent this e-mail to Lorraine last week: And I was just reading this chapter about the decline
Let's Hear it For the Haitian Government

3 Feb 2010 | 8:48 pm

Let’s hear it for the Haitian officials who stopped 10 Americans with a busload of Haitian children at the Dominican Republic border. Let’s hope that images of these Americans sitting in a Haitian jail discourage others planning to save children while supplying the rapacious American demand for foreign children.We at FMF thought sanity had prevailed over the initial rush to bring Haitian children
Mormon Myths

2 Feb 2010 | 6:22 pm

Lorraine’s post Mormons on Meeting Your (Birth) Child generated many comments about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints’ position on single mothers, adoption, and reunion. We encourage our readers to read the excellent letter on Feverfew from “M” correcting some of the statements about LDS beliefs. “M” identifies herself as a lifelong Mormon “who is currently attempting to live the
Mormons on Meeting your (Birth) Child

31 Jan 2010 | 7:12 am

The comment from the Mormon birth/first mother to the last post has been on my mind because I am not too kind to mothers who stay in the closet from their children, and a good number of them turn out to be Mormons. She wrote: "I wonder if many of these (possibly) Mormon mothers still feel alone, isolated, and wholly unworthy of speaking out or seeking contact. The social stigma of being an "unwed

Grown In My Heart
Adoption Family Trees

Marcie

8 Feb 2010 | 4:26 am

When I taught Middle School we did a year-long writing project called “My Autobiography”. It included one writing assignment once every week. It also included projects like collages, art, and family trees. Yes, the infamous family tree. I remember one young girl who came to me in tears one day because she did not know how to create her family tree, as her father was not in her life at all. Her mother had remarried but she also did not consider her new father’s family as her own yet. I told her to talk with her mother about it that night and to do the best she could with the…
Choosing Love

admin

7 Feb 2010 | 7:37 am

I still remember the biggest fight Aaron and I have ever had as if it was yesterday. It was the one time I almost uttered the word “divorce”, something I swore I would never do unless I was serious. We had only been married a year and we had been trying to have a baby for that whole time to no avail. While that did not seem to bother Aaron, it was heartbreaking for me mostly because somewhere inside me I knew that our baby would not share our DNA. So without discussing it with Aaron, I started researching adoption. I knew many people who have adopted and they all used the same…
From Uncertainty to Confidence: Learning about HIV

Lisa

4 Feb 2010 | 4:11 am

Once I knew that it was possible to adopt a child with HIV, my questions came in a downpour. Fortunately for me, my friend Emily is a nurse practitioner who specializes in HIV, so she became the recipient of my long phone calls. What I learned surprised me: I feared that we might adopt an HIV+ child, love her, bond with her, only to lose her to AIDS. Then I learned that HIV+ children who receive good medical treatment, the kind of treatment we have in the United States, can live long and healthy lives. I feared that by bringing an HIV+ child into our family, I might put my other children and…
101 Best Adoption, Loss and Infertility Blogs

Marcie

4 Feb 2010 | 4:11 am

Back in 2008 when I wrote at A Child Chosen, I created a list that has since become one of my most popular posts. The Best of the Best: Top 50 Adoption Blogs has continued to circulate the web since I left b5media but some of those blogs have gone by the wayside and some have done so well the writers are publishing books (I should get credit, right?). Because it has been almost two years since that infamous post, we, at GIMH, thought we would update it with our absolute FAVORITE adoption, loss, and infertility blogs. Grown in My Heart Blogs (excluded from the 101) 4 Crazy Kings According to…
Archiving an Adoption Story

Michelle

3 Feb 2010 | 4:41 am

I have no idea how interested either one of my children will be in their own adoption stories. I don’t know if they will seek answers to questions I don’t have the answers to, or what kind of relationship they will develop with their birth families once it is their relationship to maintain, not mine. For the time being though, it is my job (and my husband’s) to develop and maintain a relationship with the members of the birth families who are interested in doing so. Since, obviously, the kids will not remember any of this, I am trying to document it the best I can. Both…

The Adoption Option
News for Kids

clarkfcs

13 Jan 2010 | 6:36 am

Most kids avoid TV news channels and websites because they’re ‘boring.’ But many new current events websites are focusing their target audience on kids. These sites showcase news headlines, current events quizzes, and bright colors, which combine for fun, educational web interactivity. Below are a few examples: PBS NewsHour Extra has a great site for kids – especially children in the upper elementary and junior high grades. Visit http://www.pbs.org/newshour/extra/ The Washington Post’s kids edition boasts bright colors and plenty of interactive elements that…
Great Gifts for Kids

clarkfcs

18 Dec 2009 | 9:51 am

If you are like millions of other penny-pinching Americans this year – you are trying to save every possible dollar on holiday gifts this year. While it may seem like a daunting task to find great gifts for the kids without putting your credit card into hyperdrive – with a little creativity, it’s possible to make this holiday season as memorable for your family as other other . . . maybe even more so. Here are a few of our favorite gift ideas that are low in cost – but high in fun. Board games. While board games are certainly not a new gift concept –…
Kids and TV: How Much is Too Much?

clarkfcs

8 Dec 2009 | 1:04 pm

According to a U of M study, children between the ages of 2 and 5 spend 32 hours a week watching TV, videos, or playing video games. While there is plenty of research to point both to positive and negative effects that TV can play on child development, you can work to make sure that your child’s television time isn’t replacing other more valuable activities for his or her development. When deciding how much time you will allow your child to spend watching television – keep in mind some of these factors: Children form habits early. The patterns that you help your children set when…
Helping Your Child Deal With Shyness

clarkfcs

17 Nov 2009 | 1:43 pm

Many children experience shyness. As a parent, you might be surprised to see that one of your children is extremely reserved while another child is very outgoing. While there’s nothing wrong with shyness, there are some ways you can help your child make sure that he or she is not missing out on fun or friendships because of extreme shyness. One of the best ways you can help your child overcome shyness in situations is to help him or her understand exactly what’s going on. As your child becomes more comfortable with the situation, the new surroundings, or the new people, he or she…
Saving Dollars on Halloween

clarkfcs

1 Nov 2009 | 5:44 pm

Image via Wikipedia We know what you’re thinking – Halloween is over. But now is the best time to plan for your kids’ next Halloween costumes. Retailers are slashing their prices right now on all of the costumes that didn’t sell this season. Stores will sometimes reduce Halloween costume prices by as much as 50-75% off to make room for incoming holiday merchandise. If you’re not sure which character your child will want to portray next year, you can always take this opportunity to purchase miscellaneous dress-up items that will make for fun year-round activities.

Our Little Tongginator
Refusing to be Plan B

8 Feb 2010 | 12:00 am

in which I ramble endlessly on and on (and on) so that y'all have SOMETHING to do while the snow meltsI promised y'all that I would share how I kept busy with my own special project while the husband shoveled us out this weekend. And I totally will. But first you have to realize something kinda important about me: I don't like animals all that much. (I know! I'm a horrible person!) I mean, I DO like them, but I don't. It's more of a love-hate relationship kind of thing. Because I have asthma. And because I'm allergic to most of the little buggers. So, while I don't go around kicking animals,…
Sunday Linkage: Chinese New Year Crafts

7 Feb 2010 | 12:10 am

This week I'm doing double duty: two Sunday Linkages, both focused on the Chinese New Year holiday. This one focuses on links to recipes, crafts and other fun activities related to Chinese New Year. I hope y'all enjoy the links! And you still have one week to get ready -- the holiday begins next Sunday and lasts for two weeks.Year of the Tiger: CNY Craft Activities -- adoptive momma (China) Kim K. at Musings from Kim K... photos and links to many tiger craft ideas (be sure to also check out an oldie, but goodie from Kim: Recycle your glass jars and make CNY lanterns!A Chinese New Year Feast…
Sunday Linkage: Chinese New Year

7 Feb 2010 | 12:00 am

As always, I don't necessarily agree or disagree with these links, but I believe they are important to consider. For those of you new around here, I'm an adoptive momma. Each Sunday I try to post links relevant to the China- adoptive community. I read some of these linkage posts while nodding my head in agreement... others stretch my mind as I seek to understand. Always, always, I consider them.Family History -- adoptive dad (China) Johnny at So it's come down to this... asking the question "is where you are born as important as where you are raised?"Well, you were born in Ethiopia --…
Don't Have a Heart Attack, But...

6 Feb 2010 | 5:45 pm

I seriously AM posting on a Saturday. For! the! second! time! Yes, y'all, my internet connection is spotty at best (so don't expect any emails from yours truly) and the phones have been in and out all day, but I just HAD to share some photos of the largest snowstorm I've ever personally lived through.And I totally have a snowstorm story to share on Monday. But right now I'm too darn tired...Anyways, I must confess that I ate my words today, calling Ring to beg him for the use of his snow blower. Being the most amazing man ever, he graciously allowed us to borrow his Wonder Machine, with just…
And it's only half over...

6 Feb 2010 | 8:46 am

25 inches and counting...

Adoption Truth
Dear Lilliput . . .

5 Feb 2010 | 9:44 pm

Dear Lilliput,I am sorry that it has taken all this time to respond to you.I, just tonight, read the questions you posed to me back in May 2009, on my very first post, Adoption Warfare.It seems like a lifetime since I wrote that post. But in truth, it’s been a little less than two years since I first dared to put to words, and share with the public, my feelings of adoption. And yet, in that time, and in the many ways my life and my relationship with my son has changed, there are so many things that have remained the same, including my original view on how the darker truths of adoption have,…
All You Need Is Love

26 Jan 2010 | 9:29 pm

“If I loved my child any less, I'd still have him with me.”I stumbled across this gem in the comments section of another First Mom’s blog. It was offered up by an adoptive father who claimed it was . . . “the best quote I've ever heard.”And there was that part of me that instantly thought . . . “Of course it is. How could it not be?”Because this justifies, explains, and clears up any and all misconceptions about adoption. First Moms give up their babies because if they “didn’t love them enough” they’d keep them , raise them, build futures for them and become the very…
Rogue Adoptee

23 Jan 2010 | 7:36 pm

The title is interesting, isn’t it . . . Rogue Adoptee.All right, so maybe just to me it seems interesting, but I promise I have a very good reason why .It’s the title for my oldest son’s new blog.It’s another new step into the future he is building for himself. An early laid anchor in his desire to work with troubled teens and specialize in adoptee issues. To draw from his own experience and help others who will come to face what he has through his life.To me, as the proud mom, I am already convinced, Rogue Adoptee, will be a blog of great brilliance. A MUST read for everyone because…
Vacation Time

9 Jan 2010 | 7:48 pm

Six a.m. in the morning is when we head out for our family vacation. I really should be packing and going through the last minute details. But I wanted to say a few things first . . .Thank you everyone for the kind words on my last post. I'm actually very happy to report that my oldest son pushed me right out of my funk when he came home yesterday with two pictures for me that he was able to get ahold of while he was staying with his adoptive mom (sadly without her knowledge.)For me, images of how my son looked growing up ended with his Kindergarten picture. I have a decade long void of…
My Funk

7 Jan 2010 | 9:13 pm

Life is busy. Running me in many different directions.I’m still working on a response to lovely Jennifer and one of her blog posts.I’m still in the midst of my yearly “after Christmas” house scrub.And I am a mere two days away from our family vacation for a week.And yet, even with all this activity, all this “to do,” I find myself caught in an odd funk – for lack of a better word. It’s no where near the depression that used to settle in on Christmas night and last far into the New Year.No. That was much different. And much harder to deal with.Up until a few years ago, when I…

O Solo Mama
New baby dump in Malaysia

osolomama

7 Feb 2010 | 11:35 am

Just in from asiaonenews: KUALA LUMPUR: A baby hatch will be set up soon for people to drop off their unwanted babies. An organisation called OrphanCARE will place the baby hatch on its premises in Petaling Jaya. If successful, the non-profit organisation hopes to place them at government hospitals and health centres around the country. The article goes on to note enthusiastically that both Germany and Japan have established “baby hatches” as a way to support single moms who can’t raise their kids. The hatch is the brainchild of an organization called OrphanCARE, set up two…
Evangelicals and adoption: Kathryn Joyce on the Daily Beast

osolomama

6 Feb 2010 | 6:20 pm

A must-read. Please leave your comment at the Beast. This story is getting legs.
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell: “Open homosexuals” oughta tell Duncan Hunter they exist

osolomama

6 Feb 2010 | 6:05 pm

Gotta be one of the most hilarious stand-offs. I missed the original Situation Room debate between Congressman Duncan Hunter and Senator Kirsten Gillibrand on DADT (February 2) but when I saw the rerun tonight I knew God would provide me with a full transcript and a YouTube Vid. You see, kiddos, God was on my side. Sample: Wolf: Congressman Hunter, why is it OK for the — the militaries in Canada, Britain, France, most of the NATO allies, Israel, to allow gays to serve openly without any serious problems there, but not OK to allow gays to serve openly in the U.S. Military? Hunter: Well,…
Haiti update: Laura feigns ignorance and The Economist gets it

osolomama

5 Feb 2010 | 2:03 pm

Readers have been sending me wonderful links by e-mail or sometimes by posting them in response to the few Haiti posts I’ve done. Other commitments have prevented me from doing wall-to-wall Haiti, but I did want to pass on some of the best links I’ve received about the Laura Silsby case. Since the links are buried in other comments, here are five goodies in easy reach. Note: some of these expose my bottom-feeder side because I’m especially roused to zero sympathy by the ultra-whiny and the ultra-pious. 1. The skinny on Laura Silsby Sample “[Silsby has a willingness] to…
“Lost children: Why they should stay in Haiti”

osolomama

31 Jan 2010 | 4:32 pm

I’m very proud of my hometown paper for publishing this story. Excerpt: KAREN DUBINSKY, a history professor at Queen’s University with a 10-year-old son adopted from Guatemala, says the corruption in international adoption is a symptom of systemic poverty. “Global poverty and political economy creates desperate people,” says Dubinsky, whose book Babies Without Borders: Adoption and Migration Across the Americas, is due this spring. “One desperate person might snatch the child out of the arms of another desperate person, or one desperate mother might make her own…

On a Little Island in the Pacific: An Adoption Blog
Adoption “Choice” – A Response to a Mother

Cedar

8 Feb 2010 | 4:00 pm

I recently responded on another blog to a mother (I consider her to be a mother, but she calls herself a “birthmother“ i.e. a non-mother) who expressed that the loss of her two children to adoption had brought guilt, grief and self hatred to her — and yet she was convinced it was her choice and she was not “bitter” about adoption. As she spoke about pain, guilt, grief, self hatred and tears — my heart went out to her, as those are the same words of many mothers who were forced to surrender against their will, yet who considered it to be a…
International Adoption: Bought a Chinese Baby Lately?

Cedar

28 Jan 2010 | 3:18 pm

If you have recently adopted from China, here is further proof that children are being trafficked expressly for the purposes of international adoption: ” Five other orphanages opened nearby and were making the same request. By 2000, however, the supply of babies was drying up … “Rising incomes, changing attitudes toward girls and weaker enforcement of the one-child policy had combined to stem the widespread dumping of baby girls. Besides, pregnant women who were insistent on a boy would determine the gender with ultrasound (illegal, but common just the same) and abort female…
Human Rights, Motherhood, Reproductive Exploitation … and Adoption

Cedar

12 Jan 2010 | 8:58 pm

This is a post about human rights. Rights that we all enjoy because, well, we are human beings and not tadpoles, buttercups, or granite slabs. We are born human, and in a special position in the world even if we share most of our DNA with a host of other similar creatures. Humans have the ability to commit both magnificent acts of good and terrible acts of evil. In the mid-20th century, the world was recovering from a horrific world war and related events of genocide and destruction, which had ripped apart families and left much death and suffering in their wake. A coalition of…
Origins Canada – check it out! :)

Cedar

12 Jan 2010 | 6:39 pm

I’m absolutely thrilled to share a very special link with you, the new Origins Canada website: Origins Canada: Supporting Those Separated by Adoption http://www.originscanada.org/ Posted in adoption Tagged: adoption, adoption in Canada, adoption reunion, birthmothers, grief, human rights, motherhood, open adoption, open records, relinquishment, reproductive exploitation
“Do natural mothers change their stories?”

Cedar

24 Dec 2009 | 2:25 pm

This question was asked on “Yahoo Answers” a number of months ago: “Do a lot of people believe that women give their children up for adoption and then in the future “change” their version of the facts/or their way of thinking, to reflect that their child was stolen or they were viciously coerced rather than truly relinquished due to whatever circumstances there may have been?” Various people on Yahoo Answers had been posting comments calling into question the integrity of natural mothers (“birthmothers”) who had recounted their stories of having…

The Adopted Feminist
Foster care is a crisis

anonadoptee

8 Feb 2010 | 3:56 pm

The guardian recently did an investigation into the state of Britain’s foster care system and unsurprisingly it is an underfunded chaotic mess. I’m sure the people who work with in it absolutely have their hearts in the right place but they are not actually going to make any difference because the whole idea is intrinsically flawed. It all circles round on itself Children who have been in the care system are far more likely to become teenage parents than their peers. “We struggle a little bit with children in care having children. There is a very negative, repeated cycle –…
Asylum seeker mothers fight to be reunited with their children

anonadoptee

6 Feb 2010 | 1:38 pm

Mothers in the London-based All African Women’s Group are campaigning for the right to be reunited with their children following the successful settlement of their asylum claims. Many of the women, most of whom have experienced rape and torture, felt they had no choice but to leave their children in order to keep them safe, but when they enter the UK they are not recognised as mothers with dependants: Go read more at The F Word and then sign the petition
Open adoption roundtable 13

anonadoptee

4 Feb 2010 | 5:37 pm

The prompt for the Open Adoption Roundtable 13 is: We often hear about open adoptions where the two sides don’t want the same level of openness. First mothers who don’t get updates as often as they would like, or not as many visits each year. Or adoptive parents who want to include their child’s first mother in his life, but she is not ready. But what we don’t often discuss is when people on the same side of the triad can’t agree on the level of openness in an adoption. * It could be a wife who wants a fully open adoption but the husband only wants to send…
Experts urge Nepal to ban international adoptions

anonadoptee

4 Feb 2010 | 7:43 am

A team of adoption law experts who visited Nepal in November found documents were routinely falsified and children’s homes were largely unregulated, with the interests of the child often not considered at all. “A new law for inter-country adoption is needed. It should be integrated with a comprehensive law on child protection measures and national solutions for children without parental care,” said the report, from intergovernmental organisation The Hague Conference on Private International Law. “To undertake the necessary reform of the inter-country adoption system, a…
Support SOS childrens villages in Haiti

anonadoptee

3 Feb 2010 | 11:53 am

Earthquake orphan appeal: Do not adopt earthquake orphans