Adoption

  • Most Topular Stories

  • No Justice Today for Baby Camden

    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth
    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:13 pm
    I am very saddened to have to say that this afternoon, the judge granted Adoption by Gentle Care's motion to dismiss the Writ of Habeas Corpus in the Ohio Juvenile Court. In other words, we lost in court. Today we hurt. The message that this Ohio court has sent to the adoption industry is very clear. Adoption Agencies can do whatever they want in order to procure babies for adoption. Adoption Agencies do not need to follow laws. Adoption Agencies are not held accountable. It's really a... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Hello!

    Kimchi Mamas
    Kimchi
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:18 pm
    Hello Kimchi Mama Readers! It's me... Mary! Long time no see. I am not sure why I haven't blogged in a while... I just haven't. But today I got to thinking about Kimchi Mamas and felt like I should write a post. What have I been up to? Mostly just the usual... working, mothering, you know. My younger son started...
  • Birth Mother Stories: A Longitudinal Walk Through the Decades

    Lavender Luz
    Lori Lavender Luz
    26 Aug 2014 | 7:00 am
    Previously, I introduced you to three women who had the experiences of placing a child for adoption in the 1960s, the 1980s, and the 2000s. They told us their adoption stories as birth mothers and shared their thoughts on what needed to change with the way adoptions were done. We continue the conversation here. Lee, […] The post Birth Mother Stories: A Longitudinal Walk Through the Decades appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Fight, Flight, or Freeze

    Therapy Is Expensive
    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    22 Aug 2014 | 6:25 am
    I sat in my therapist’s office crying. Heart racing. Feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I reminded myself that while I felt like I coudn’t breathe I was in fact breathing. I took some deep abdominal breaths. I heard her voice, but it wasn’t really registering. I froze. I just needed a few moments to center and ground myself. A few moments of silence to pull myself together. She kept talking. I’m not sure what she was really saying, but her tone grew increasingly frustrated and in turn frustrating. I had been trying to get myself together, to continue the session.
  • Interior Design Tips to Sell Your House Quicker

    O Momma Writes
    Ashley Roberts
    11 Aug 2014 | 3:13 am
    You have made the bold decision to move. With that in mind, you want a clear plan of how you can move without having to spend a fortune in the process. Whether you are expanding your family or downsizing when your brood has flown the nest, moving home can be a major job to undertake. So, taking the sensible route to make your home seller quickly is imperative. You don’t want your home to languish with an estate agent in Cannock. You want your home to sell quickly. To make your home a viable purchase, you may need to redecorate. There are some amazing interior design tips that you can take…
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    Musings of the Lame- Exposing Adoption Truth

  • No Justice Today for Baby Camden

    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:13 pm
    I am very saddened to have to say that this afternoon, the judge granted Adoption by Gentle Care's motion to dismiss the Writ of Habeas Corpus in the Ohio Juvenile Court. In other words, we lost in court. Today we hurt. The message that this Ohio court has sent to the adoption industry is very clear. Adoption Agencies can do whatever they want in order to procure babies for adoption. Adoption Agencies do not need to follow laws. Adoption Agencies are not held accountable. It's really a... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Logo Contest & Call for Proposals AAC 2015 Annual Conference MAR 25 – 29, 2015

    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    9 Aug 2014 | 10:07 am
    Join the AAC and AdoptionLand Community in Cambridge, MA in March of 2105 for Educate, Advocate, Legislate! Calls for presentation proposals and a conference logo contest are now open! read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Adoptee Film “You Have His Eyes” Screening at Kingston Film Festival

    admin
    9 Aug 2014 | 9:39 am
    WHEN: August 16 2014 at 3:00 pm WHERE: BSP 323 Wall Street, Kingston, 12401 http://www.bspkingston.com WHAT: Screening of "You Have His Eyes" read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • Birthing, Labor, and Adoption Relinquishment

    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    8 Aug 2014 | 11:58 am
    Your adoption plan is what you think you want and how you hope it will go down, but you want it to be like right now doesn't matter either because like labor, you really won't be in control once you sign the relinquishment consent. That signature gives up ALL control. I can tell you that the pain from labor fades. I cannot say the same about adoption. read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
  • In Family Betrayal; When Your Aunt Plays Adoption Baby Broker

    Claudia Corrigan DArcy
    8 Aug 2014 | 8:00 am
    David yanks her from my arms and says, " I'm not dealing with this!" and walks out the door. I followed him watching her cry and reaching for me and yelling for me. He puts her in the car and shuts the door. I never told her I loved he. I never told her I missed her. I never told her will miss her. I didn't get to even tell her goodbye. I didn't know I wouldn't ever see her again. read more... → Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!
 
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    Kimchi Mamas

  • Hello!

    Kimchi
    19 Aug 2014 | 11:18 pm
    Hello Kimchi Mama Readers! It's me... Mary! Long time no see. I am not sure why I haven't blogged in a while... I just haven't. But today I got to thinking about Kimchi Mamas and felt like I should write a post. What have I been up to? Mostly just the usual... working, mothering, you know. My younger son started...
  • Condolences

    Kimchi
    7 Jun 2014 | 4:19 pm
    Our deepest condolences to the family of Paul Lee, the victim of the shooting this past Thursday at Seattle Pacific University. If anyone has any connection to the family or their friends, please share so that we can help however we can.
  • Be the true hero that you are!

    Kimchi
    6 May 2014 | 8:26 am
    Watching your child going through something painful is extremely difficult for any parent. We often wish we could take the pain away. We wish we could feel it for them instead. Watching our children go through their first heartbreaks can be torturous. Seeing them experience life’s disappointments is not easy. The good news is that we can help! We can...
  • Asking ourselves the right question...

    Kimchi
    19 Mar 2014 | 4:12 pm
    "What's next?" Liz Murray, the author of Breaking Night, talks about how she taught herself to make positive choices when she was tempted to make destructive ones. She talks about the times when she would wake up amongst many other homeless kids who were sleeping on the floor, and having to walk over their bodies toward the door. She explains...
  • Tomorrow is another day…

    Kimchi
    8 Mar 2014 | 9:00 pm
    As moms, we can easily feel like failures. All from what we do with/to our children and our lives. We can self punish all we want, but it might not always pay off in terms of helping ourselves do better. I have been on that road for a bit. I have been feeling as if I was not being my...
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    Lavender Luz

  • Birth Mother Stories: A Longitudinal Walk Through the Decades

    Lori Lavender Luz
    26 Aug 2014 | 7:00 am
    Previously, I introduced you to three women who had the experiences of placing a child for adoption in the 1960s, the 1980s, and the 2000s. They told us their adoption stories as birth mothers and shared their thoughts on what needed to change with the way adoptions were done. We continue the conversation here. Lee, […] The post Birth Mother Stories: A Longitudinal Walk Through the Decades appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Trajectory: Birth Mother Stories Through the Decades

    Lori Lavender Luz
    13 Aug 2014 | 7:00 am
    We are products of our times. What’s going on around us has has a huge effect on what goes on within us — the pressures we face, the opportunities we have, the decisions we ultimately make (or have made on our behalf). I’m realizing that this is especially true for birth mothers and the stories […] The post Trajectory: Birth Mother Stories Through the Decades appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • 3 Buttons Your Child Will Push

    Lori Lavender Luz
    31 Jul 2014 | 5:00 pm
    For such small beings, children are incredibly adept at pushing their parents’ buttons.  Many of us come to adoptive parenting with extra buttons exposed, practically begging small and grimy fingers to give them a fresh press. Or two or three. Why do children push buttons? Because they feel powerless against giants. And when children can’t […] The post 3 Buttons Your Child Will Push appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • The Weight of Weight: Women and Body Image

    Lori Lavender Luz
    18 Jul 2014 | 11:31 am
    Humorist Shannon Bradley Colleary is the total package — brainy, beautiful, bold and bodacious. She has a fantastic sense of humor and a healthy body image (wait ’til you see just how healthy). She treads regularly where Not-So-Feisty Lori only dreams of treading. Shannon and I share a few things in common, though. We are […] The post The Weight of Weight: Women and Body Image appeared first on Lavender Luz.
  • Sign Up for this Book Tour: Apart at the Seams by Melissa Ford

    Lori Lavender Luz
    1 Jul 2014 | 6:00 pm
    She had Mr. Right all sewn up . . . until Mr. Wonderful came along. That’s the teaser line for Melissa Ford’s latest novel, Apart at the Seams. Though it’s the third in a series, Melissa calls it a “sideways sequel.” Which means that if you’ve read Life from Scratch and/or Measure of Love, you’ll […] The post Sign Up for this Book Tour: Apart at the Seams by Melissa Ford appeared first on Lavender Luz.
 
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    Therapy Is Expensive

  • Fight, Flight, or Freeze

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    22 Aug 2014 | 6:25 am
    I sat in my therapist’s office crying. Heart racing. Feeling like I couldn’t breathe. I reminded myself that while I felt like I coudn’t breathe I was in fact breathing. I took some deep abdominal breaths. I heard her voice, but it wasn’t really registering. I froze. I just needed a few moments to center and ground myself. A few moments of silence to pull myself together. She kept talking. I’m not sure what she was really saying, but her tone grew increasingly frustrated and in turn frustrating. I had been trying to get myself together, to continue the session.
  • Brutal Honesty

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:55 pm
    In the wake of the murder of Michael Brown and so many other Black children in our country. I have some things to say. I hold my breath when I see police. I’ve been driving for 16 years and been pulled over only three times. I’d say I actually deserved to be pulled over two of those times. One unwarranted traffic stop in 16 years is damn good odds for a Black chick in this country. But the truth is I was terrified through each and every one of those stops. Regardless of the jokes we may make, and abrupt “I didn’t do it” at the sound of sirens. A jovial…
  • August 14 2001

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    14 Aug 2014 | 6:35 am
    It took some doing but all the calls were called and the arrangements arranged and all that was left was for a baby to be born. If only it was that easy. Amidst the contracting and pushing people showed up. My mom, my boyfriend, his aunt who’d driven him…maybe more I don’t really remember. There was also a steady stream of strangers coming in to check this or that as is the joy of giving birth at a teaching hospital. I don’t remember much about them either, but why should I they barely spoke to me. Until, that is, one of the strangers brought me a paper to sign. Turns…
  • August 13 2001

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    13 Aug 2014 | 9:57 am
    In August of 2001 I was pregnant. My sister was out of town leaving her car with me. The morning of the 13th started out pretty unremarkable. I stopped and checked my sister’s mail the headed to the clinic for my check up. After waiting for the typical forever a nurse took my vitals and showed me to an exam room where I waited to be seen by a random OBGYN. I never saw the same doctor, but it didn’t really matter since they all treated me with the same indifference. Ah the joys of a military hospital. The doc du jour did a quick exam and left the room speaking only a handful of…
  • Mental Illness is Illness. Period.

    Kat Nielsen, MSW
    12 Aug 2014 | 11:18 am
    I am mentally ill. Depending on who you ask the diagnoses change, but regardless I am mentally ill. That is nothing to be ashamed of and it shouldn’t be something I have to hide. And yet, I’ve learned over and over that people don’t see it as an illness and they do think it should be hidden. In 2012 this happened: Yesterday in passing I was told by my boss’s boss in front of my coworkers “don’t talk to my boss about being on drugs” As someone who never drank before she was 21 (didn’t really start drinking til 23 when i met my good friend…
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    O Momma Writes

  • Interior Design Tips to Sell Your House Quicker

    Ashley Roberts
    11 Aug 2014 | 3:13 am
    You have made the bold decision to move. With that in mind, you want a clear plan of how you can move without having to spend a fortune in the process. Whether you are expanding your family or downsizing when your brood has flown the nest, moving home can be a major job to undertake. So, taking the sensible route to make your home seller quickly is imperative. You don’t want your home to languish with an estate agent in Cannock. You want your home to sell quickly. To make your home a viable purchase, you may need to redecorate. There are some amazing interior design tips that you can take…
  • 5 Renovations that Will Increase the Value of Your Home (and some that won’t)

    Ashley Roberts
    4 Aug 2014 | 9:35 pm
    Every homeowner wants to make sure that they get the most money back on their investment when it’s time to sell. You can’t just expect the price of your house to shoot up; you need to do something about it! The following renovations will help you with what to do and what not to do, so you can get more for your investment: 1. A New Kitchen The kitchen is the heart of the home, so it makes sense to renovate it before selling. In fact, lots of experts agree that this should be your top priority. You could simply update the appliances and countertops if you don’t have the cash to go for a…
  • 10 Awesome Things To Do When You’ve Moved Home

    Ashley Roberts
    2 Aug 2014 | 9:25 pm
    When moving home there are many things to consider. The notion of moving may sound fun and exciting, but the reality of making a move is tough. With so many things to think about, it can be difficult to remember the minor details. Finding the right property to suit your needs (and your budget) is important, but so is making your new house feel like home. Moving home means moving your entire life to a new place. Up and moving to a new place is hard. The moment you have moved in you will need to begin putting down roots. Here are ten vital things you must do when moving home. 1. Find The Right…
  • Electricity tips and tricks: It’s the little things that count

    Ashley Roberts
    23 Jul 2014 | 1:02 am
    There’s no denying that electricity is expensive and that energy conservation is critical for the environmental sustainability. If you are after ways to improve the consumption of energy in your home or workplace (and want to enjoy cost savings at the same time), there are many great tips and tricks that can be applied. In fact, a range of good quality, credible websites now provide more information about the very best ways to use energy in a mindful and environmentally-conscious manner. So, where and how in the home can you make better use of electricity? The living room: In your living…
  • How To Spot Potential Structural Problems With Your Home Early

    Ashley Roberts
    22 Jul 2014 | 7:45 pm
    Rina Pitucci It is often the case that we sink everything into our homes. We spend a fortune on decoration and furnishings. Projects such as a new kitchen and bathroom often leave us in debt for a few years. It is in our nature to improve our surroundings and provide ourselves with a comfortable haven. Because we spend so much time and effort on improvements, it is important that we do not forget about the structure of the house. When was the last time you went outside and performed a thorough inspection of your property? You should do it every year if you are to identify and address and…
 
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    welcome to my brain . net

  • And then you blink and it's September

    15 Aug 2014 | 11:54 am
    I can't say the last two months flew by. It has been a challenge, and has also been the very best summer for all of my kids. The list of activities was a gift to one child, in particular. Juggling four high schoolers and all the friends and activities has my head spinning some days. But we did it. About to usher in a year with two seniors, two sophomores and a sixth grader. eek.If you are looking for a boost as school starts, here are some things I'll be participating in:The Attachment and Trauma Network is providing a free online Summit in the fall called "Educating Traumatized…
  • Summer time, when the living is ... *deep breath*

    6 Jul 2014 | 1:30 am
    I am experiencing something right now that so many of you do every year. However, it is brand new to me. I have a child attending public school, so this is my first "have them home all summer" thing.Normally, all of my kids are here all the time, and you just learn to pace yourself. I've written before that we needed to make some changes for everyone, and this was a great decision. No regrets. It is beneficial to the entire family.  However ... summer.All of the benefits we reap from a team of people in the life of a child are just gone. *poof* Like that. For three months.You have to…
  • Immediacy and Impermanence

    7 Jun 2014 | 7:29 am
    This week I participated in beautiful and ridiculously lengthy Facebook thread, birthed by burners. It was full of snark and brilliance. Within minutes I had fallen madly in love with people I have never met, and wanted them all at my party.Also, I wanted to plan a party.It erupted quickly and the comments multiplied for the better part of the day. No, really. It was insane. Hundreds of comments.  Notifications going off non-stop: ding, ding, ding. I actually crawled into bed that night and thought, "I hope a bunch of these hysterically genius wonders of humans don't stay up late and…
  • There is no magic pill, right?

    29 Apr 2014 | 3:31 pm
    If you are like me, you are an animal when it comes to seeking out help for your kids.  From struggles with learning, to finding clothes that fit right as their bodies grow and change, to learning about all the therapy options for mental and emotional health issues ... we advocate for the little and the big.(photo by Tibor Fazakas; used with permission)I touted mindfulness mediation almost a year ago when I wrote: "Meditation ... not just for the woo-woo hippies anymore." I knew it was a good thing for me to be doing. I had read the stuff and knew the studies. I did it for me. All…
  • Six years

    16 Apr 2014 | 5:44 am
    (November 2010 - Elizabeth Knox Photography)Six years ago today we became a family of seven. It has been the hardest six years of our lives. For all of us. We share this - the struggles, the pain, the very difficult memories. It has also been the greatest six years of our lives. For all of us. We share this - the healing, the joy, the love that was proven day after day and the family.We are a family. (May 2013)My children are my heroes. They deserve this. They deserve family and hard, hard, hard work from their parents. I talk with a lot of parents to help them learn and stay present in a way…
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    Building Family Counseling

  • When kids are wrong

    Dawn Friedman
    27 Aug 2014 | 6:34 am
    I think my son was four when he decided he had to be right about everything. Four is generally the time when kids find their inner sassy. (Some kids get there earlier; some kids are born full of sass.) Anyway, he was around four and suddenly he was always right and I was always wrong. He’d make wrong statements full of confidence. “Mommy,” he’d say. “Birds can’t fly in the rain.” “Sure they can, sweetie,” I’d answer, thinking I was still talking to my reasonable 3-year old. “Remember yesterday when we were outside in the…
  • Of ice buckets and Ferguson

    Dawn Friedman
    25 Aug 2014 | 7:06 am
    If you are on Facebook or on Twitter or don’t live under a rock then likely you have been either witness to or part of the ongoing cultural conversation around the ALS ice bucket challenge and the shooting of an unarmed Black teenager in Ferguson, Missouri and the resulting outcry in his community and beyond. I was thinking about this juxtaposition today, in particular about the controversy of the juxtaposition. I’m not talking about either thing itself — people drenching themselves in ice water or a young man’s death at the hands of police — but about these two…
  • Change anyway

    Dawn Friedman
    19 Aug 2014 | 8:43 am
    I’ve written before about how change can feel like betrayal to friends and family. What happens is that sometimes it feels so scary that they drag you back and you find yourself in that same rut you’ve been trying so hard to leave. They like you there because having you there is familiar, it makes sense to them. If you change then they have to change (or at the very least change their ideas about you). And they didn’t sign up for that; they don’t necessarily want to change. Sometimes their need for sameness will be so great that they will refuse to see that you are…
  • Parenting Kids with Special Needs? Here’s a Great Columbus Resource

    Dawn Friedman
    13 Aug 2014 | 9:34 am
    I’m a huge fan of parents supporting parents and I know that most especially when it comes to parenting kids with special needs it’s vital to connect with other families who can help you find resources; navigate your options; and support your whole family in your journey. The Early Childhood Resource Network+ operates in North Columbus and offers an equipment lending library, support groups and information. Next month there’s a Back to School event, which would be a great time to get to know this wonderful resource. If you’re interested in learning more, please contact…
  • Counseling by text

    Dawn Friedman
    4 Aug 2014 | 9:32 am
    This is what my social media policy says about texting (this is part of the intake paperwork all of my clients receive and I have them sign something that says they have read and understand my policies): You may text me with questions about appointment times, to reschedule or to cancel (please note my cancellation policies require 24-hour notice). You may also text me if you would like me to call you back. However please know that I do turn my phone off during client hours, meetings and outside of office hours so I cannot guarantee when I will read your text and get back to you. If you do…
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    Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity

  • Why We Oppose CHIFF: A Misguided Bill With Misaligned Priorities

    Christina
    21 Aug 2014 | 8:30 pm
    In Brief: We believe that Senate bill 2475, “The Children in Families First Act of 2014” is flawed in its design.  Written without the consultation of either adult adoptees or first families, this bill pressures countries to open a pipeline of children for intercountry adoption and does so with funds redirected from current aid projects […]
  • Vietnam Police Arrest Women for Selling Baby from Orphanage

    Tracy
    9 Aug 2014 | 2:56 pm
    From Tuoi Tre News: Hanoi police arrested two women on Sunday for allegedly selling a nine-month-old baby from Bo De Pagoda, a home for orphaned and abandoned children in Long Bien District, for US$1,650. One of the detainees is Nguyen Thi Thanh Trang, 37, the caretaker of the children supported by the pagoda, and the […]
  • Adoption Not Always an Easy Adjustment

    Tracy
    9 Aug 2014 | 2:48 pm
    From The Acorn: The adoption of an infant is an adjustment for any parent, but when an older child is adopted and moves to a new country to live with strangers, the transition period is also difficult for the child. Such was the case for Trang Huynh, a Vietnamese child who, at the age of […]
  • Registration to Retain Citizenship No Longer Needed for Adopted Children

    jena
    25 Jul 2014 | 5:33 am
    On July 10th the Department of State posted this notice: On June 24, 2014, the National Assembly of the Socialist Republic of Vietnam approved a Law on Amendments and Supplements to the Citizenship Law of Vietnam. This law abolishes the requirement for Vietnamese citizen children adopted from Vietnam before July 1, 2009 to register in order […]
  • Dept. of State Says Limited VN Program To Resume “Soon”

    Christina
    18 Jun 2014 | 8:29 am
    The Office of Children’s Issues posted an announcement on their website that a new limited program may resume “soon.” Intercountry adoptions from Vietnam to the United States, through a special adoption program for children with special needs, children aged five and older, and children in biological sibling groups (Special Adoption Program) may commence three weeks […]
 
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    Writing My Wrongs

  • Plans for Fall

    Suz Bednarz
    16 Aug 2014 | 10:51 am
    If you follow me on Facebook you know that as of September 1 I am participating in 99 days of Freedom.  The thinking behind doing so is complicated. I won’t bore you with details.  I will offer that my personal goal for the fall is to write more frequently, specifically on my book. I also hope to write more frequently here, perhaps share excerpts of what I am writing. In addition to this change, effective September 1 I am no longer a Merchandiser for Chloe & Isabel which, in turn, means I will no longer be donating funds to organizations supporting family preservation. However, I…
  • Dirty Wings [Book]

    Suz Bednarz
    13 Aug 2014 | 5:25 pm
    I am a voracious reader.  Always have been.  I can and have read several books in a week. While other people watch television, play video games, workout, I read.  I read hardcover, paperback, and  electronic via my Kindle app. I have read via Kindle on my iPad, my computer and even on my iPhone.  It has always been this way.  I tend to prefer the comfort of the worlds I find in my books versus the one I live in. I also greatly admire the art of writing. As far as adoption goes, I tend to read self-help type books. You know, the ones that explain the trauma of adoption from a psychology…
  • Educating Reporters

    Suz Bednarz
    7 Aug 2014 | 3:44 pm
    An hour into a rather tedious interview with a reporter… Reporter: So, I am not sure I understand. If your daughter had a good life, is fine (or happy or whatever one says with being adopted), why won’t she meet you. Me: You would have to ask her that question. I cannot speak for her. Reporter: Surely you must have some idea? Me: Surely I do but again you are asking me to speak for her. I cannot. If you asked me why I won’t meet her (if that was the case) it might be a different answer. Reporter: Uh. Um. Okay. Well did you do something to her? Me: Do? Reporter: Yeah, like…
  • Reunited [Book]

    Suz Bednarz
    3 Aug 2014 | 4:08 pm
    Today I finished reading adoptee/author Pamela Slaton’s book titled Reunited : An Investigative Genealogist Unlocks Some of Life’s Greatest Family Mysteries. I enjoyed it. Enjoy may be the wrong word. I do not enjoy regularly reading the painful stories of adoption separation, reunion, rejection and healing. I do however appreciate an individual’s ability to convey the stories in a respectful and poignant way. I appreciated Pam’s inclusion of her own search and reunion story. Having her experience woven through the stories of others showed her empathy as well as her…
  • Decrease Shame

    Suz Bednarz
    29 Jul 2014 | 5:20 pm
    Related posts: Hello Paranoia and Shame
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    FAMILY PRESERVATION not Adoption Separaration

  • Birth/First Moms: Do you have an adopted child?

    Mirah Riben
    22 Aug 2014 | 1:20 pm
    Moms, when you speak of your interest in adoption are you ever asked these two questions?:Are you an adoptive parent?Are you adopted?It happens to me often because of my activism and because I am an author. When I am asked these questions it is almost always JUST THESE TWO questions. The third, and correct, option that makes adoption of personal interest to me is never considered....or is it that I don't fit the stereotype of a teenager or drug addict or impoverished woman?I usually use it as an education moment. But today I was asked by…
  • Threats to Family Presevation

    Mirah Riben
    16 Jul 2014 | 3:03 pm
    Money. Demand. Lack of regulation of adoption"professionals," facilitators, and adoption agency business.Exploitation. Coercion. Secrets and lies.All of these are threats to the sanctity of families, particularly families in crisis and those lacking affluence.Demand is a major part of the problem and demand will continue until such time as we face infertility as a major health problem and add information on reducing infertility risk to high school health education classes. of course, this is unlikely inasmuch as infertility supports several multi-billion dollar industries: infertility…
  • Buying is NOT Adoptiing

    Mirah Riben
    21 Jun 2014 | 9:37 am
    Russell D. Moore identifies himself as an "Ethicist" though he is obviously an ethicist with strong "Christian" beliefs and a single-minded purpose to defend certain "Christian" world views, in particular Southern Baptists, including adoption expressed here. Had Moore been around before the Civil War, he most assuredly would have found ETHICAL arguments in favor of the buying, owning and perhaps even torturing human beings. Regarding homosexuality, Moore says it's Ok to welcome them into your home, but not to attend their weddings.
  • Golden Cradle

    Mirah Riben
    27 May 2014 | 8:39 pm
    She was 23 in a long term unmarried relationship and pregnant. They forced a closed adoption on us, we wanted open, and we decided on a adoption as I was in labor, not a day before that did this cross our minds, so we were NOT educated in any way shape or form. We didn't know we had a choice. An adoption lawyer told me that she and her colleagues always brings bagels or doughnuts to the nurses . . . .That is wrong. And it should have been a concern to the whole medical department, including my doctor, who knew how excited I was and etc about my son. I was very ready for him, yet a…
  • Adoption Activism History: The ORIGINAL ORIGINS

    Mirah Riben
    3 May 2014 | 6:29 am
    Before there was Origins in Australia or the UK, and LONG before Origins-USA .... back in the pre-Internet dark ages ...In 1980, five women from New Jersey found one another and formed the original "ORIGINS: an organization for women who lost children to adoption."We put out a national bi-monthly newsletter and held local in-person meetings for more than a decade.We were pioneers! I was on the Mort Downey Jr. Show twice with adoptees and adoptive parents bringing light to the issue that was never even spoken about before. I was later on the Joan Rivers Show talking about the Joel Steinberg…
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    Birthmother

  • The Language of Flowers

    Jayne
    27 Aug 2014 | 1:14 pm
    Why is it that when you see or hear your own feelings somewhere else, you finally feel validated? I was reading my local library's book club selection and am glad I wasn't able to make the discussion after finding the main character gave up her baby.These words really resonated with me.  Sure, they are part of the adoption "kook aid", but they are what I thought back then, too. I've changed words for my own situation. This segment took me back 23 years, like it was last week."But as much as I wanted to be reunited, I would not go to [him]. My desire for my [son] felt selfish. Leaving…
  • Chocolate

    Jayne
    25 Nov 2013 | 12:18 pm
    His adoptive mom will still not agree to meet or converse, and he apparently is still not interested in contact. However, most of his F*cebook posts seem to be public and I just learned he doesn't like chocolate. Neither do I. That makes me smile.
  • Facebook

    Jayne
    19 Feb 2013 | 1:05 pm
    I tried to message someone on a board and Facebook warned me that it might go in their "other" folder. "Other" folder? What's that? I looked at mine and found it. There was a message from Amom from almost two years ago when I accidentally sent a friend request to my (our?) son (and then un-sent it). I thought I had un-sent the request before he saw it. Apparently not. Her message to me was SCATHING. If I had seen it two years ago, I would have known then that all along she has just fed me a line of bullshit about ever getting together or having contact. I don't know what the hell she is…
  • Help me find ...

    Jayne
    15 Feb 2013 | 12:59 pm
    These Facebook posts where people are trying to find their birthmothers/birth parents make me sad in that my son knows how to get in touch with me and chooses not to do so. Yet, these kids/people do want to know their birth parents. Maybe I made myself too available, but I think I was also sold a "bill of goods" in that his adoptive mother made it sound like contact after the adoption would be possible.  You live, you learn I guess.
  • Moving on

    Jayne
    1 Oct 2012 | 1:07 pm
    It's been a few months since I sent his birthday card that was essentially my "see ya! you don't need me so I am gone". And I feel pretty good about it. I mean, I've gotten used to people who were important to me acting like I didn't matter. I didn't think my own son would treat me that way, but apparently he is. So really. See ya. I've gotta move on.
 
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    Maryreunited

  • How do we go on?

    Mary Provance-garvens
    22 Aug 2014 | 8:24 pm
    Putting one foot in front of the other, living our lives, when something so precious and unique is taken from us? How do we get from point A, to B, then C, and finally D? (D is the life after surrender, while B and C are pregnancy and surrender) How do you survive it?For myself it was as simple and as complicated as stuffing all those things into a lockbox in my brain. Shove it all in, lock it up tight and then move on. The problem with that is this, those things don't stay locked up, at least not in the way we would wish them to stay locked up. They tumble out at the worst times, and then?
  • Sine Qua Non~

    Mary Provance-garvens
    22 Aug 2014 | 5:36 pm
                                                                                                               "Without Which Not."  I have often pondered that phrase. Does it create a resonance in you when you read those words? I know it creates one in me, it rings in my head, and in my heart. It's like the old poem,…
  • Shauna Voigt Inspired a new thing~

    Mary Provance-garvens
    24 Oct 2013 | 1:04 am
    So the comment posted not once, but twice was this "You are fucking spastic idiot" You know lady you really aren't worth the time. But being as woefully ignorant about adoption as you are, I made the time! So I created this especially for you and others like you: Welcome to the Hall of Shame! You're welcome!
  • The Endless Lies of the Capobianco's

    Mary Provance-garvens
    1 Oct 2013 | 8:05 pm
    http://adoptivecouplevsbabygirl.wordpress.com/2013/10/01/give-us-our-prize-and-our-money-too/You heartless, cruel people! Ye faithless! Ye Lost! Woe to you on the day this child learns to google her name. Once that happens you are done and nothing not even God himself will save you!Give Us Our Prize and Our Money Too1OCTWe will follow this to the end. We’ve committed to bringing facts to light in this case and Veronica’s return to the Capobiancos, at least to us, does not mean an end. This case will go on to affect other children and other cases. So in that vein, we bring you more of…
  • For Veronica~.

    Mary Provance-garvens
    25 Sep 2013 | 11:59 am
    "The older I get, the less patience and tolerance I have for willful ignorance, unnecessary, imaginary competition, and hateful attitudes. The Veronica BROWN case and the horrid comments from people who have NO IDEA what they are talking about make me wonder if this country isn't completely lost for good as this seems to be the prevalent idea of what is acceptable. Speaking ill of a child's biological parents is speaking ill of the child. Valuing a coerced text message sent in confusion, anger, and sadness over and above the rights of a child is disgusting. And feeling that it is…
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    [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

  • Thailand's booming business in surrogacy is an ethical swamp

    29 Aug 2014 | 2:56 pm
    LorraineA surrogate has twins. One of them has Down Syndrome. The biological parents only want the perfect child, and leave the Down Syndrome baby with the surrogate. Later it emerges, the father, David John Farnell, was convicted of 22 charges of child sex abuse in the 1990s in Australia. He met his current wife via a matchmaking agency. The child with Down Syndrome remains in Thailand with the surrogate mother, Farnell and his wife have the "healthy" twin. A Japanese businessman, multimillionaire Mitsutoki Shigeta, has had at least 15 children with surrogates whose births…
  • A father grieves his troubled adopted son

    25 Aug 2014 | 10:08 am
    Edwards HirschAlthough I have compassion for Edward Hirsch and Janet Landay, I have to believe that if they had known something about the effects of adoption, their son might be alive today. Instead he died of an overdose in 2011 at age 22. The elegy Hirsch wrote for him is the subject of a New Yorker article "Finding the Words" by Alec Wilkinson.Hirsch and Landay adopted their son, whom they named Gabriel after the Biblical Gabriel, at six days. Although Gabriel was born in 1988, when open adoptions were advocated by adoption professionals and were becoming commonplace, Gabriel was adopted…
  • Help for a mother-to be to keep her baby

    24 Aug 2014 | 11:39 am
    JaneNOTE: WE ARE UPDATING "SOURCES" AS READERS PASS THEM ALONG.We can preach all day about why mothers should keep their babies, but the realities are some just can't see a way to do it. Their families won't help them and they don't know where to turn. One of these women, Morgan, who lives in the Houston area commented on our post "If you're uncertain about adoption, keep your baby":"I don't want to give up my baby but I feel like I don't have a choice. I'm 19 years old and truly have NO support. I'm three months pregnant, the dad left for good. I told my mom, thinking I could at least…
  • At the hospital: The innate need to know who you are, the desire to return 'home'

    20 Aug 2014 | 10:27 am
    LorraineAt the hospital a certain night nurse and I bond over this story: Her husband was a foster child, never adopted so that the parents did not lose the cash payment from the state for him and his sister.* The father wanted to adopt him when the father was dying, but the man said: too late. He was told for years that his his mother had died, but intrepid wife (and my new friend) somehow did not believe the story. She knew her husband needed to have some information to close up the gap in his heart.Through major sleuthing, and sending flowers to the people whom she knew had the…
  • Secrecy in adoption replaced by public confessionals--how cool is that?

    17 Aug 2014 | 9:16 am
    Mariah MacCarthyIs giving up your baby a new fad--a re-packaged baby scoop era substituting a public display for secrecy--or a harbinger of permanent changes in child-rearing? Rapper, storyteller, and burlesque artist Mariah MacCarthy's one woman show Baby Mama: One Women's Quest to Give a Child to Gay People has a one night stand at the Dixon Place Theatre in New York City this Monday, August 18. According to press notes, the show "tracks one birth mother's adoption journey, from conception to placement with the gay couple of her dreams--while still living her life, dating, and…
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    One Thankful Mom | Lisa Qualls

  • Dimples’ Farewell

    Lisa Qualls
    27 Aug 2014 | 9:06 am
    We walked into the cottage after the long drive to Montana, and one of the first things I heard was one staff member say to another, “I’m really going to miss that kid.” Those words characterized Dimples’ entire farewell. Dimples “Goodbye Ceremony” was lovely. All of the children from her cottage were present, and many […]
  • Dimples is Home

    Lisa Qualls
    26 Aug 2014 | 9:31 am
    So many of you are praying for Dimples and our family as she settles in at home. The days are flying by, but I need to pause to tell you that she is doing amazing. I have tears in my eyes just typing that. Let me share a few quick thoughts. *She is so happy to […]
  • Books You Should Read Before Graduating from High School

    Lisa Qualls
    20 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    Annarose’s senior year of high school is just about to begin. Rather than use a prepared booklist and lesson plan for literature, I’m putting together a list of “Books you Should Read Before Graduating  from High School.” You’re a bunch of smart folks, so what book(s) would you recommend? I’d like to get a broad range […]
  • Couple’s Colonoscopies

    Lisa Qualls
    19 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    Some people plan couple’s massages. Not us, we like being a little different (as you may have noticed), so we scheduled couple’s colonoscopies. One of the perks of turning 50 is paying better attention to our health. Having an oncology nurse for one of my best friends hasn’t given me wiggle room with things like mammograms or […]
  • Jen Hatmaker’s Book, Interrupted, (and a Giveaway)

    Lisa Qualls
    17 Aug 2014 | 11:48 am
    When Jen Hatmaker writes a book, you just might want to read it. Sometime in mid-July, before we left for Whidbey Island, I was offered the opportunity to read and review the newly updated edition of Interrupted: When Jesus Wrecks Your Comfortable Christianity. It seemed perfect at the time; the book would arrive before we […]
 
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    Rage Against the Minivan

  • Friday Finds

    29 Aug 2014 | 12:00 pm
    1. Herschel Survey Kids Bag by Herschel Supply | Gilt2. Black & White Chevron Zip-Up Jacket | Zulily 3. Settlement Kids Bag by Herschel Supply | Gilt4. Eggplant with California Figs and Leeks | GFreefoodie.com5. Leopard genius slip-on shoe | Zulily 6. Green Plate healthy Blueberry Pistachio Nubblers | greenplatefoods.com7. Snackaby | products snack and sandwich lunch set8. Chalkboard Balloon Kit | Anthropologie9. Hoja Bracelet Set | Anthropologie 
  • The form letter for unmet expectations

    29 Aug 2014 | 10:00 am
    I have found myself in another crushingly busy season where every day I look at the tasks on my to-do list, look at the time I have allotted for completing said tasks, and then wallow in a pit of despair because I AM TYPE A AND THAT’S WHAT WE DO.   I am seriously so behind in every single area of life that I’ve decided to just make up a sort of multiple-choice form letter that I can email to people, highlighting the answers that are relevant to that particular person I have disappointed.  Here’s the first draft:Dear everyone I know,I am so sorry that I havenot returned…
  • What I Want You To Know About Being The Stepmom

    29 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by Sarah McManusRepeat after me: Stepmom. Sarah is Maggie’s stepmom. You can do it!For some reason, strangers have trouble with this sentence. When I pick up Mia (10) or Maggie (8) from one of their lessons, the lengths to which the Mommies will go to avoid saying this word is…
  • Jon Stewart on white privilege

    27 Aug 2014 | 1:10 pm
    Couldn't have said it better myself. Watch all the way to the end.The Daily ShowGet More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook,Daily Show Video Archive
  • What I Want You To Know About Why I Joined The Military

    27 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    What I Want You to Know is a series of reader submissions. It is an attempt to allow people to tell their personal stories, in the hopes of bringing greater compassion to the unique issues each of us face. If you would like to submit a story to this series, click here. Today’s guest posts is by Anonymous NCOWhen people are asked why they joined the military, they often give different answers. Some will say for adventure and to see the world. A majority would say it was a way to get their college paid for. Some would say it was the only stable job available at the time.
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    Julie Gumm - Author

  • What’s new in the new version of “Adopt Without Debt”

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    8 Aug 2014 | 6:50 am
    Now that the new book is listed on Amazon I’ve had a few people ask me what the difference is between the two books. So here’s the low down… The first book was self-published in May 2011 and was approximately 25,000 words (152 pages) The first book is out of print and only available from used book sellers who are charging an exorbitant amount of money. Please don’t go into debt to buy the book The first book told our story and focused only on how to pay for adoption. The new book is being released by a “real” publisher – Abingdon Press. (January 6,…
  • Transitioning to Life in Small Town America

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    3 Jul 2014 | 11:33 am
    We’re here. I haven’t written much since I posted about our impending move 3 months ago because we’ve been busy working, purging, packing, purging some more and dealing with the typical end-of-year craziness. The boys both graduated 8th grade – Luke as valedictorian. The very next day Mark and I headed out to Ark. because I started working in the office the following Monday. It was definitely a much quicker, quieter ride just the two of us – a throwback to our college days. We had basically 24 hours before Mark headed out for Haiti but had time to stop by the…
  • Happy 15th!

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    10 Jun 2014 | 6:21 am
    This kid is 15 today! (Which makes me feel old.) I cannot even begin to tell you how proud I am to have the privilege to be his mom. He is generous, thoughtful, hardworking, self-motivated, smart, funny and just an all around amazing young man. Four more years of watching his sports games will make me completely gray but I LOVE it! Happy Birthday Luke!
  • You’re Never Too Old To Need a Mom

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    16 May 2014 | 4:53 pm
    Three weeks ago I left for Pittsburgh to see my bestie for a few days before heading to Chicago for the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit. I wasn’t there even 24 hours before my dad called to say they were taking my mom to the hospital because she had a virus and her blood sugars (she’s a brittle Type 1 diabetic) were too high and they couldn’t get them down. He actually left a message as I didn’t hear the phone. It’s SOP in our family that they call me when this happens and I call the brothers who live out of state. I wasn’t too concerned since this…
  • Happy Mother’s Day

    juliegumm@yahoo.com
    10 May 2014 | 5:00 am
    To all my favorite moms. Which is all of you
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    Lost Daughters

  • Letters To My Adoptive Mother

    Lynn Steinberg
    25 Aug 2014 | 6:00 am
    My Mother and I, 2013, Best Friends ForeverBack in 2009 my therapist at the time asked me to write a series of letters. The assignment was to write letters I would have wanted my Adoptive Mother to write to me as a young girl. The task challenged my loyalties to my Mother and made me feel very icky and uneasy. However, the healing that took place as a result was remarkable. As I read the letters aloud in the therapists office, I cried and cried like a lunatic. If only my Mother had known what to say or do when it came to adoption. If only she had the tools. The truth is she had nothing. She…
  • If you love something, Let it go free

    Trace L Hentz
    17 Aug 2014 | 3:00 am
    Trace's story was recently featured on Al Jazeera"...If you love something let it go free…If it comes back it’s yours: If it doesn’t, it never was."   I saved this quote from my teens. It came in handy when I was trying to figure out if someone really loved me.It hit me as relevant for parents who adopted us... you can be selfless for adoptees and you can set us free... especially when we are adults and go into reunion with our first parents.This past week I had a long conversation with a friend whose wife gave up a baby for adoption 40 years ago. I played a small part in…
  • Female Role Models

    Elle
    15 Aug 2014 | 9:00 pm
    Perhaps my life would be different had I had the oppertunity to be raised alongside my older sisters... I'm sure I would have had them as role models and been both influenced and inspired by them. But if I had been able to stay--- not be adopted I'm not sure if my youngest birth sibling would have been concieved or even born... (I don't want to elaborate, or dwell on this in any possible form because that part of my adoption is still a very real, tragic and hutful thing. I reserve the right to mention that in another separate post--- if or when I feel strong enough to actually do it.)I do…
  • Would Black Transracially Adopted Males Rather Be White Right Now?

    Angela Tucker
    15 Aug 2014 | 4:00 am
    Many of us know about the fatality involving an unarmed African-American 18-year-old named Michael Brown. I won't rehash what has already been said and written (in very passionate and poignant ways) by firsthand witnesses and ill-treated journalists in Ferguson. Instead, I will focus on bettering the future of transracially adopted black males by encouraging a discussion around how we are preparing them for the reality of our "post-racial" world.I cannot recall how many conversations I've had with white prospective adoptive parents who would say; "I'd just love to adopt…
  • American Seoul by Zeke Anders

    Karen Pickell
    12 Aug 2014 | 12:20 pm
    Filmmaker Zeke Anders is a Korean adoptee who grew up in a white middle-class family in suburban Detroit. He is making a series of YouTube vlogs (video logs) called American Seoul about his experience.So far in the first three episodes, he talks about his one and only memory of living in an orphanage, what it was like being the only Asian kid in elementary school, and his childhood desire to be white.The episodes are short--running only 3-5 minutes--and easily digestible. In fact, I found myself wishing they lasted a little longer and went into a bit more depth. Still, I'm anxious to see what…
 
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    One Inch of Grace

  • Why My Kids Go to a Primarily Black School

    shannon2818
    12 Aug 2014 | 7:32 pm
    Originally posted on Ashleigh Carroll:Most people know that our kids go to Downtown Elementary, which is a public school here in Memphis that happens to have mostly black students enrolled. This is not an accident. My journey started when John suggested we submit an application for Jac to go to Perea Preschool, which is…
  • This week in Detroit

    shannon2818
    1 Aug 2014 | 5:00 pm
    The “beach” at Campus Martius The Detroit RiverfrontFiled under: Family in the City, Our Adopted Life
  • The interview of a lifetime

    shannon2818
    25 Jul 2014 | 7:18 pm
    Well, maybe this wasn’t really the interview of a lifetime, but I did get to interview someone that’s made a huge difference for my family: Heather Forbes. If you’ve read my blog before, you know that I am a big fan of Heather’s and her parenting model, Beyond, Consequences, Logic and Control (you can read more […]
  • Adoption Day 2014

    shannon2818
    25 Jun 2014 | 8:17 pm
    On June 25, 2010, our adoption became legal. The kids and I had dinner and dessert out today to celebrate. We spent a couple minutes sharing our memories from the past four years. I felt good that I finally had some memories to share with them that they didn’t remember. Since I didn’t know them […]
  • Love in the D: Philip and Clare’s Wedding

    shannon2818
    10 Jun 2014 | 6:19 pm
    Check out my latest Love in the D post. I had the opportunity to interview Clare about her beautiful 2009 wedding at the Detroit Athletic Club.Filed under: Family in the City Tagged: dac, Detroit, detroit athletic club, detroit weddings, Love in the D, weddings
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    Transracialeyes

  • Ok…does anyone know what’s going on in India?

    Mark Diebel
    21 Aug 2014 | 12:43 pm
    I wrote an article (published) that I’ve posted on Academia dot edu called “Human Nature and Truthfulness in Adoption and Donor Conception Practice”. The article has received 49 hits in the last 30 days from Delhi, Bangalore, Kolkata, Kumar, Gurgaon, Suri, Mumbai, Vijayawada, etc. The search terms when identified are something like “to be truthful is […]
  • How do you handle privacy issues?

    Daniel Ibn Zayd
    18 Aug 2014 | 10:32 pm
    A question from a fellow adoptee: My question for other adoptees is, what have your experiences been as far as “coming out” as adopted is concerned? For instance, I am an adoptee completely estranged from my parents for six years, but a lot of my friends and coworkers did not know anything about my family […]
  • Changing the facts of adoption like birthdate

    Lucy Sheen aka 4gottenadoptee
    13 Aug 2014 | 11:31 pm
    Originally posted on Lucy Sheen actor writer filmmaker adoptee:Changing a child’s birth date That’s the title of for a thread on a recent adoption forum site. Yes, you read correctly the subject of discussion on an adoption thread. The family in question had apparently adopted a boy who had been abandoned. So the actual…
  • Adoption: Abide or die.

    Daniel Ibn Zayd
    8 Aug 2014 | 12:40 am
    Over the years I’ve received much in the way of hateful missives, personal attacks, threats, libelous statements, etc. Some I reply to, some I ignore, some I seek legal counsel concerning. After a recent uptick in such communication, I realized something about the nature and sublimated message of them, which perhaps serves as a “message” […]
  • The Pentad of Adoption: Putting Fathers Back In The Picture

    Snow Leopard
    21 Jul 2014 | 7:06 pm
    I received my original birth certificate today, which confirmed one of my better guesses (based on genetic testing and genealogical research) about the identity of my genetic mother. However, as I had been forewarned would likely be the case, the document contained no information about my father, since (as in many states) birth certificates in […]
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    Unsigned Masterpiece

  • The truth shall also set you free…

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    27 Aug 2014 | 2:19 am
    A great post from Lost Daughters on the choppy waters of adoption reunion. If You Love Something, Let It Go Free And this feels like the companion piece to the Lost Daughters post.  From The Adopted Ones: Good Grief – This Gets So Tiring. I am adding another post to this list a day after […]
  • No Good Deed Goes Unpunished (Adoption Division)

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    20 Aug 2014 | 12:54 pm
    Then I noticed it. Down at the bottom of the email was a box and in it, in lovely, flowing, colourful letters, they expressed support for adoption.
  • Adoption Should be A Last Resort…

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    20 Jul 2014 | 1:29 pm
    It's always good when people "Get it"
  • The Power of Biology, the Fear of Fertility (and adoption)

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    10 Jul 2014 | 11:48 am
    Great piece in The Land of a Gazillion Adoptees.  This is a great online magazine coming up to its first anniversary.Filed under: Adoption
  • Judy Collins (and Adoption)

    Unsigned Masterpiece
    8 Jun 2014 | 2:35 pm
    A song that has always been one of my adoption songs. Born to the Breed.Filed under: Adoption Tagged: Born to the Breed, Judy Collins
 
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    Together for Adoption

  • T4A Conference Website in Hyperlapse

    Dan Cruver
    28 Aug 2014 | 12:04 pm
    Join us October 17-18 in Greenville, SC. To learn more or to register, visit the conference website.*Video by Instagram | Hyperlapse.
  • 10 Minutes to Shape the World

    Dan Cruver
    27 Aug 2014 | 9:36 am
    *See the image at the bottom of this post.We may not usually be consciously aware of the power of our words or the words others speak, but if we stop to think about it, we know that our words can change the way others think and live. Our words have the power to create new situations. Just think of the power of “I love you”, or “I hate you”, or “I’m so very proud of you”, or “I couldn’t be more disappointed with you”. Words shape the world and how we relate to and live within it.This recognition of the power of our words to shape the world we live in is why we are…
  • Cutting Through All the Noise: Workshops

    Dan Cruver
    26 Aug 2014 | 12:56 pm
    This year’s workshops/breakouts are designed to cut through all the noise out there, giving you the best information available in the foster care, adoption, and orphan care world. Take a look at this year’s workshop lineup.Learn more about T4A National Conference 2014.
  • U.S. Senator Tim Scott Announces His Selection of Dan Cruver as Angel in Adoption Recipient

    Jacob Forrest
    21 Aug 2014 | 9:17 am
    On Monday, August 18th, U.S. Senator Tim Scott announced his selection of T4A Co-founder Dan Cruver as his 2014 Angels in Adoption recipient for South Carolina.Read the full story.
  • Special Video Invite from Haiti

    Dan Cruver
    16 Aug 2014 | 9:09 am
    Michael Robison (who is in Haiti right now finalizing the adoption of their daughter) sent this special video inviting you to join him at our October 17-18 national conference in Greenville, SC. Thanks, Michael!Learn more about this year’s conferenceorRegister now.
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    AMERICAN INDIAN ADOPTEES

  • Epigenetics: Scientific Evidence of Intergenerational Trauma

    12 Aug 2014 | 2:55 am
    By Ruth Hopkins  Originally published November 26, 2011 Shortly after his second birthday, my son stopped talking. The onset of symptoms was just that abrupt. After nearly two years of visits to doctors and specialists, he was finally diagnosed with atypical autism. Autism encompasses a spectrum of psychological disorders in which the use of language, reaction to stimuli, interpretation of the outside world, and the establishment of social relationships are difficult and unusual. One in 110 children have autism spectrum disorders (ASD), and males are more likely to have it than…
  • How much I changed (Part 7) Scared Silent, Four Traumas, PTSD

    11 Aug 2014 | 2:55 am
    Family PhotoBy Lara/Trace DeMeyer (Part 7)I have met quite a few adoptees who can’t talk about being adopted. Why? They can’t put feelings into words. They didn’t talk about it as a kid and they never learned how to talk about it as an adult.They might be as confused as I was when I was a child hearing that I was adopted - this was before first grade. What did “adopted” mean? Somehow I got it -  these were not my parents, someone else was. But who? And why?I got used to hearing we “adopted” Trace.They'd explained I had a different mother and father. I don’t think I took…
  • Splitfeathers and Indian Child Welfare Act on Univision

    10 Aug 2014 | 2:55 am
    Thank you to UNIVISION for partnering with Leland Morrill (Dine adoptee) and amazing researcher Karen Vigneault for this news broadcast about Lost Birds/Split Feathers, the Indian Child Welfare Act and current immigration issues which aired in late July. Also in the interview is Patrick Yeakey, (Sugpiak), an adoptee/Lost Bird who wrote in the new anthology CALLED HOME: Book 2: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects. The two videos are in Spanish... : Pasados Perdidos Parte 1: https://vimeo.com/102005237Parte 2: https://vimeo.com/102188730Leland said they will be adding English…
  • Judge rules against destruction of residential school records

    9 Aug 2014 | 2:55 am
     By Kathleen Martens APTN Investigates WINNIPEG – A Toronto judge has agreed to lock up sensitive residential school student testimony for 15 years. Justice Paul Perell of the Ontario Superior Court ruled in a decision released yesterday (Aug. 6) that the records will be destroyed after that time period unless survivors individually decide they want theirs saved. What is not up to survivors, however, is whether the names of alleged abusers are blacked out. The judge ruled those names will be redacted whether survivors want them identified or not. Those alleged abusers are people…
  • LOST BIRDS: Four adopted women seek out their Native American roots

    8 Aug 2014 | 2:55 am
    by The Fault Lines Digital Team For more than one hundred years, U.S. policies and practices separated Native American children from their families. Prior to 1978, when the Indian Child Welfare Act went into effect, Native American children were regularly plucked from their homes and sent to live with non-Natives. Some children grew up surrounded by love; others suffered enormous hardships. Many had a powerful desire to reconnect with the culture that they had lost.In "Lost Birds," we profile four adopted women who sought out their Native American roots. Click on the image below to read the…
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    Infant Adoption Guide

  • IAG 025: Adoption Home Study Questions & Answers with Lori Fraas

    Tim Elder
    29 Aug 2014 | 6:13 am
    How would it feel to ask a social worker about your adoption home study BEFORE you started the process? What if that social worker had already completed over 1500 home studies? Licensed clinical social worker Lori Fraas is our guest on the show today. She shares her experience from completing over 1500 home studies. She […]
  • Adoption book review: How To Create a Successful Adoption Portfolio by Madeleine Melcher

    Tim Elder
    23 Aug 2014 | 9:34 pm
    How important is your adoption profile?  It is the biggest tool you have to help you get a quick match with an expectant mother. It is something we pin our hopes on to make the connection we need to build our family through adoption. Your adoption profile (also known as your adoption portfolio) can also be […]
  • IAG 024: How to simplify and shorten your path to adoption with Amanda Grant from USAdopt

    Tim Elder
    13 Aug 2014 | 1:48 pm
    Want to save time, money and stress on your adoption journey? Absolutely! We all would like that, right? Amanda Grant is our guest on the show today and she will tell us how to simplify and shorten the path to adoption. She is an adoptive mom and Founder/CEO of USAdopt.com. Most people (for very valid […]
  • Ask an Adoption Question #5: Do African American couples usually have a shorter adoption wait?

    Tim Elder
    9 Aug 2014 | 8:48 am
    Tim, My husband and I are preparing to send in our application for our first domestic infant adoption. Yay! We are both African American, but can not find a lot of information regarding African American couples adopting. I asked the agency we are working with (Gladney) and she did tell us that AA couples’ adoption […]
  • IAG 023: An infant adoption story with Jake Stewart

    Tim Elder
    30 Jul 2014 | 9:33 am
    Can you imagine your first adoption taking 10 days? In this episode you’ll hear how that happened for Jake Stewart. He and his wife have adopted twice – both newborns. Adoption stories are inspiring and can provide hope on our own journey. Jake will tell the stories about how his children became part of their […]
 
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    All In The Family Of Adoption

  • You Can't Change How Other People Feel

    Kellie C
    17 Aug 2014 | 5:34 pm
    I've never heard my granddaughter's voiceI've never heard her laugh.I've never watched her run or play or dance.I've never brushed her hair.I've never read her a book.I've never sang her a song.I've never held her hand.I've never watched a Disney Princess movie with her.Instead, strangers have more of those privileges than her biological family.  Those of her biological family who are allowed a relationship, that is.Certain words and phrases were used to convince her mother, and us, our granddaughter would still be a part of our family and the minute her mother let it be known she was…
  • One Day

    Kellie C
    10 Aug 2014 | 2:00 pm
    Cats are said to have nine lives.  It is a superstition founded in a cats ability to survive accidents which might have killed other animals.  Using this line of thinking (and modern medicine), one may conclude humans have more than just nine lives.  Knock on wood (and yes, I just knocked on wood) I haven't had any close calls physically, but I’ve had a couple of losses in my life.  If you doubt you can have an experience that equates to a "living death" you haven't truly experienced a loss.   My mother’s death used up my first “life”.  The loss of…
  • Keep Your Baby, Nolee

    Kellie C
    26 Jul 2014 | 6:47 am
    by RobinNolee, I was so alarmed by your story and your comment that I could hardly sleep. Please, please, please keep your baby. You say that you are struggling with depression and alcohol and that you want to work on these problems before you become a mother. Well, I have news for you. I bet if you give your child up for adoption these problems will become even worse. Adoption could make your depression ten times, no, a hundred times, no, a thousand times worse, and with your predilection to alcohol you may very well turn to drink even more in order to…
  • The Adopted Ones Blog: Adoption relationships can be complicated, being kin adds another layer...

    Kellie C
    21 Jun 2014 | 2:17 pm
    The Adopted Ones blog: Adoption relationships can be complicated, being kin adds another layer... This is a completely different type of post and how I have written it, is based both on what I have read that made sense to me from adoptive parents who've been in the process a long time...
  • No Apologies for Being Me: A Father's Day story about Open Adoption

    Kellie C
    15 Jun 2014 | 9:31 am
    No Apologies for Being Me: A Father's Day story about Open Adoption: As an adoptive parent in a "kinship adoption" arrangement as the professionals call it, the words "open adoption" and...
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