Adoption

• Most Topular Stories

• Was it best for me to be adopted?

  Lost Daughters

  Mila

  21 May 2013 | 5:30 am

  I was having this train of thought the other day:I wonder who my Omma (Korean birth mother) and Appa (Korean birth father) might have become had they been given the same opportunities that I have been given? And then, I started thinking about what might have happened had I grown up in the same circumstances in which they had grown up? Or what my life might have been had I grown up with them as my parents in the situations they faced?And automatically my mind started to veer onto the track of "See, it's a good thing you were adopted. Look at all you have because you were adopted. So, maybe it…

• The Lost Daughters Discuss The Child Catchers by Kathryn Joyce - Part Three of a Series

  Lost Daughters

  Karen Pickell

  18 May 2013 | 4:30 am

  Today we continue our discussion of the new book by investigative journalist Kathryn Joyce,  The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption. If you missed the previous installments in this series, you can read them here:Part 1: God's will and the moral imperative to adoptPart 2: Domestic adoption and the rebranding of adoption via specific languageIn this installment, we focus on orphanages, deception of adoptive and original parents, and coercive tactics employed by the adoption industry. We invite you to join the conversation in the comments following each…

• The Child Catchers exposes the stench of international adoption--and domestic adoption too

  [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

  20 May 2013 | 11:30 am

  Kathryn JoyceJournalist Kathryn Joyce takes on domestic infant adoption and international adoption in her new book, The Child Catchers, forcefully demonstrating its unsavory realities, including how it exploits vulnerable mothers. While the general public may believe adoption is a win-win solution that saves children, builds families, and allows poor biological mothers to get on with their lives, Joyce portrays it as the billion dollar industry it is, fueled by money, religious fervor, the high demand for children, and misguided altruism. She backs up her claims with scrupulous…

• Q&A: Adopted Reality, where adoption and mental illness meet

  Lavender Luz

  Lori Lavender Luz

  2 May 2013 | 6:54 am

  The word “bipolar” has called my attention twice in recent years. The first was during the time Roger and I  were waiting to adopt our second child (“Meaghan’s Baby“), and the second was this past winter when I read Laura Dennis’ memoir, Adopted Reality. Knowing her story makes me wonder how accurate were the ideas [...]

• Craigslist “adoption” foiled

  An Adoptee Centric Blog

  Gershom

  15 May 2013 | 11:54 am

  Have you guys seen this? What are your thoughts on this? You can read about it here. Basically a women posted an ad on craigslist saying she didn’t think she could take care of her son, who is 3 and was looking for a couple to adopt him. The post got pulled and the police […]

• 

  Musings of the Lame; life as a birthmother in adoption

• Adoption and the Use of Illegal Substances

  admin

  17 May 2013 | 7:00 am

  Forced adoption is a drastic step; there aren’t words to express the trauma it causes to all concerned. It surely should be preserved as a last resort, a final call for those cases where children are in grave danger and need a fresh start. In the case of loving parents who also happen to use illegal substances there are almost certainly much more appropriate methods to help, if help is required. Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• Adoption Poetry: “Fallen Angel”

  Claudia Corrigan DArcy

  12 May 2013 | 7:10 am

  I put the wings on they gave me Woven of diaphanous words "Gift giver" "Selfless" "Angel" They kept me aloft for awhile Where I hovered above my son and his family Their voices murmurs far below Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• Societies Attitude when Birth Control Fails

  Claudia Corrigan DArcy

  10 May 2013 | 8:31 am

  "Yet whether it was an accident, ambivalence, or a careless mistake, it’s always the woman’s fault. She allowed herself to get pregnant. She couldn’t keep her legs closed" Other women, other mothers, who have faced the surprising results on the dreaded "pee stick of doom". But it's not about adoption, it is in support of parenting, and parenting young. Rolling with the natural and biological results of sex, accepting a pregnancy before it's time and the battles of birth control, but most of... Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want…

• Re-Marketing Adoption

  Claudia Corrigan DArcy

  8 May 2013 | 10:34 am

  On a foundation of good intentions and corruption, domestic infant adoption has rebranded itself thorough strategic public relations moves, market research and a well funded legislative lobby. While the public thinks sweet thoughts about adopting all those "unwanted children", the adoption industry creates a product and cashes in on a billion dollar business. Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• A Typical “Open” Adoption

  admin

  5 May 2013 | 11:00 pm

  They agreed to send updates (letters and pictures) every 6 months until she turned 18 and kept up with that until about 3 years ago when the updates suddenly stopped. No explanation, no warning, nothing. The updates were being sent to me through CHS so I called the agency and got the run around. This, to me, is one of the most heartless and cruel things that can be done to a Mother and I’m in utter shock that this is actually happening. Come on by to Musings of the Lame to read the rest of this post. Come on, you know you want to!

• 

  An Adoptee Centric Blog

• You think this shit doesn’t exist anymore….

  Gershom

  19 May 2013 | 12:32 am

  And then you read something like this… Republican Texas Judge Orders Couple To Live Apart Or Lose Custody Of  Child No this isn’t about adoption. No this child isn’t an adoptee. But you know what? This deserves some recognition. I am completely appalled at this judge and the order he has given. I cannot imagine any judge […]

• Craigslist “adoption” foiled

  Gershom

  15 May 2013 | 11:54 am

  Have you guys seen this? What are your thoughts on this? You can read about it here. Basically a women posted an ad on craigslist saying she didn’t think she could take care of her son, who is 3 and was looking for a couple to adopt him. The post got pulled and the police […]

• A Mother’s Day plea to stop equating adoption with abandonment

  Gershom

  12 May 2013 | 11:11 pm

  Wow…there is SO much I see wrong in this article…I honestly cannot believe I’m reading it. Well that’s a lie, I can, because I know how utterly fucked up the adoption industry is but seeing it right now before my eyes at its best is stomach turning and humorous combined. I just came across this […]

• Mothers Day

  Gershom

  10 May 2013 | 10:17 pm

  Mothers day…. I dislike this day a ton. In my own family ( I have 3 daughters ) I feel like mothers day should be everyday! And my daughters ( the ones who can talk beyond babbling ) are really good at appreciating me and each other. They do tell me they love and appreciate […]

• What if I told you….

  Gershom

  7 May 2013 | 7:52 pm

  What if I told you that some of the same people connected to the introduction of drugs into society that “accidentally” caused infertility were also involved in the adoption industry and profiting heavily off of the adoptions of babies. Tagged: adoption, Adoption for dummies, adoption sucks, Adoptive families, Anti-Adoption, infertility, the adoption industry, wake the fuck up

• 

  Wet Feet

• Discontent in a Hostile World

  kateri

  19 May 2013 | 12:00 am

  You'd think I'd have tons to say, right? And yet, I say nothing. I write nothing.  Let's start with Kermit Gosnell. I've followed this trial, of course. His clinic was on the same block where my girls' dad lives; picking them up or dropping them off I'd look at that dilapidated building with the crazy sign: "Women's Medical Society".  I'd wonder what went on in there, if that was the euphemism I thought it was, how it could possibly be legal when PA is such a restrictive state, the place was creepy beyond belief. How can this go on?

• In which I break my arm patting myself on the back

  kateri

  2 Feb 2013 | 10:42 pm

  It's been seven months since I started working for PP, and it's time for the annual party where the whole affiliate gets together to celebrate our accomplishments and recognize outstanding work. I was nominated by my boss (hi Melissa!) for Rookie of the Year. (Just so we're clear, I won't win and that's okay :)) This is what she wrote about me: "Kate ******, RHCA, Media Health Center: Starting with customer service, Kate’s contributions are outstanding: She always has a friendly smile for our clients; she is understanding and empathetic to clients in crisis;…

• Helplessness and Venipuncture

  kateri

  9 Oct 2012 | 6:10 pm

  These were the bookends of my day. This was just a normal day. Other people's crises are my new normal. My first patient was a pregnant woman who did not want to be pregnant- we went over the pros and cons of medical vs surgical abortion while she made her way steadily through the box of tissues in Counseling Room 2. Anyone who thinks this is an easy choice to make, or a comfortable corner to be backed into (because believe me, this woman didn't have much of a "choice") is flat out delusional. No one is flippant about having an abortion. Not everyone cries about it so…

• 30 Sep 2012 | 5:58 pm

  kateri

  30 Sep 2012 | 5:58 pm

  So, I feel like I should update: I'm working in a hotbed of women's health, I've transitioned to full time employment after a decade of mommy-centric living, the amount I've learned and adapted to should warrant a post, right? You'd think. But I sit here and I can't think of a single thing to say.  I could say that the work I'm doing is satisfying and fullfilling in a way that I did not know was possible: the mission of Planned Parenthood is one that is dearly close to my heart.  Birth control should be easy to get and abortions should be available when a…

• I could have been a contender; thoughts on my swimming career.

  kateri

  5 Aug 2012 | 12:13 am

  There's a thing I've rarely talked about, something I've left firmly in the past. It's been brought to the fore my my girls' burgoening swimming careers and obviously, by the Olympics.  I quit swimming for good when I was 16, after nearly a decade of intense training. Toward the end, I swam thousands of yards a dayand had massages from the team trainer before and after practice to manage the chronic tension problems in my shoulders. I swam next to swimmers who qualified for nationals, for the olympics trials. I was always in lane 1, the injured lane, humiliation…

• 

  Production, Not Reproduction

• Toddlers and Toilets

  Heather Schade

  8 May 2013 | 12:49 pm

  Baby Trey is now Toddler Trey. Or, alternatively, Barely-One-Year-Old-Bumbling-Around-the-House-on-Adorably-Wobbly-Legs Trey. I admit that, with a four-year gap between Trey and Mari, I had gotten out of the habit of the constant vigilance that toddlers require lest they upturn every drawer and basket in your home. Mari was also the sort of baby who preferred to stick by her caregiver's side, so she conveniently kept herself within eyesight. Trey considers the world his oyster. Now that he is completely mobile and very, very curious, I'm once again going through that process of trying to…

• Children's Books About Civil Rights Movement

  Heather Schade

  23 Jan 2013 | 11:44 am

  Eddie came home from school the other week parroting the usual first-grade story that Martin Luther King, Jr. single-handedly got a bunch of unfair laws changed by making one great speech. Granted, he was working off a lesson in his second language (it's a bilingual program), but still. We jumped back into our ongoing conversations about the decades of work by countless individuals that made up the modern civil rights movement, not to mention the centuries of activism and resistance prior to that. Such a big, big topic. I asked whipsmart internet friend Shannon (via Twitter) if she had any…

• Three Beautiful Things #25

  Heather Schade

  19 Jan 2013 | 11:30 am

  Three beautiful things on a wintery weekend day: Silence behind the door of the room in which the napping baby lies Whipped cream Driving over a bridge by my home one morning, the fog was so thick it swallowed the river, the banks, the horizon. Suddenly I was driving through clouds miles above the earth. What is beautiful in your world today?

• Sibling Rivalry...Over Siblings

  Heather Schade

  17 Jan 2013 | 6:58 pm

  Of my three children, Eddie is (currently) the only one with siblings in his birth family. Or as he puts it, he has "a brother and sister who live with me and a brother and sister who don't." Eddie and his out-of-the-house brother and sister share a (birth) mom. The three kids are being raised in three different households, part of three different families, with three different last names, but we just call them brothers and sister. We send birthday presents and occasionally get together in person when our paths cross, much like you might with cousins. Eddie has known about each of them since…

• Bedroom for Two

  Heather

  16 Jan 2013 | 1:15 pm

  We moved into our house six years ago now. It's the longest I've ever lived in one place as an adult, after hopping through a line of dorm rooms and rentals. It is a fine house, and we are grateful to have it. That said, it was built in the 1970s, and it has had a few owners with terrible unusual taste since then. Both of those facts have left their marks on the house, from the popcorn ceilings in many of the rooms to the strange two-tone carpeting choice in the hall stairs. My mind (and Pinterest boards) are full of ideas for changes I'd like to make, both big and small, but, alas, time and…

• 

  Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform (PEAR)

• Oklahoma USCIS Notice Field Office Closure

  PEAR-2013

  21 May 2013 | 8:05 am

  Due to the devastating tornadoes that struck the Oklahoma City area, the following facilities will be closed on May 21:The Oklahoma City Field Office is closed.Oklahoma Application Support Center will be closed due to facility issues.  We will automatically reschedule all applicants to the next available appointment date.  We will process walk-ins on a case-by-case basis.For updates, please visit: http://go.usa.gov/b3EeEthics, Transparency, Support~ What All Adoptions Deserve.http://www.pear-now.org/Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform www.pear-now.org

• DOS Alert: All Adoption Cases with the Ghanaian Department of Social Welfare are Subject to Suspension

  PEAR

  20 May 2013 | 3:12 pm

  Ghana May 20, 2013The Government of Ghana has temporarily suspended processing of all adoption cases, including intercountry adoptions, pending Ghana's review of its current adoption procedures. All adoption cases which have not received final approval by the Ghanaian Department of Social Welfare are subject to this suspension.At this time, adoption cases which have completed processing with the Ghanaian Department of Social Welfare, and are either before a Ghanaian court or have a completed adoption order, are unaffected by the suspension.  Urgent or emergency cases subject to the…

• DOS Notice: Democratic Republic of Congo

  PEAR

  20 May 2013 | 7:42 am

  Democratic Republic of CongoMay 16, 2013Notice for Individuals Seeking Further Information Following the Department of State's May 14 Conference CallThe Department of State has received information that a number of adoption service providers and prospective adoptive families were unable to join the conference call on adoptions from the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) on May 14, 2013.  We regret that not everyone was able to participate in the call and are exploring options for future outreach.During the call, we reviewed the information available on the Department’s website in…

• Ontario suspending DR Congo ASP licensing

  PEAR

  17 May 2013 | 10:44 am

  Please be advised that the Ontario Ministry’s Private and International Adoption Unit will not issue licenses under the Intercountry Adoption Act for the purposes of authorizing an agency to facilitate adoptions from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC).This decision is based on concerns raised within the international community dealing with intercountry adoptions.  UNICEF, the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), the International Confederation of the Red Cross, and international NGOs such as the Save the Children Alliance and International Social Services advise…

• Alert: Update on China

  PEAR

  17 May 2013 | 6:14 am

  Alert:  Update on ChinaMay 16, 2013 - The U.S. Consulate General in Guangzhou to Resume Normal Operations Friday, May 17, 2013.  For more information, please see Guangzhou U.S. Embassy website (http://guangzhou.usembassy-china.org.cn/adoption.html).http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_alerts_notices.php?alert_notice_type=alerts&alert_notice_file=china_2Ethics, Transparency, Support~ What All Adoptions Deserve.http://www.pear-now.org/Parents for Ethical Adoption Reform www.pear-now.org

• 

  Jane's Blog

• Public notice to young researchers, artists, and journalists

  jjtrenka

  30 Apr 2013 | 8:00 am

  I can’t believe I need to say this, but I guess I do because the situation of disrespect has been getting progressively worse over the past few years, and this weekend I just about lost my shit. Public notice: If you are someone who is coming to Korea to interview, study, or make an art project out of people here, treat us with the same respect as you would anyone else. Think about your white neighbor, for instance. You understand and treat your white neighbor as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and dignity — as opposed to the zoo animals that some people seem to think we…

• 제인 정 트렌카, 「덧없는 환영들」 중에서

  jjtrenka

  24 Mar 2013 | 10:32 am

  From the Korean edition of “Fugitive Visions.” Thank you, Mun Jang!

• Police web site for missing people

  jjtrenka

  30 Dec 2012 | 7:56 pm

  Missing girl, 4 years old at the time. Now 42 years old. Date of birth: July 25, 1970 Date of disappearance: May 9, 1975  She said she was going to her grandmother’s house, and then she disappeared. Somebody asked me if there is a web site in Korea for missing people. I still haven’t found an efficient way to post all of the listings of children who I think may have been adopted overseas, but you can use these links to look through the web site yourself. Here are the listings for people that disappeared. Families are searching for them. Here are the listings for individuals who…

• Translations by Chae-Pyong Song

  jjtrenka

  26 Dec 2012 | 4:51 am

  Chae-Pyong Song, who brought The Language of Blood to Korea as both the translator and the connection to the publishing house, is now translating Korean poetry into English along with Anne Rashid and Melanie Steyn. They have done a whole series on the Gwangju Uprising, which you can read on the Korean Poetry in Translation blog. Here is one poem in particular that grabbed me: Park Geun-hye burns incense for victims of the Gwangju Massacre (for which Chun Doo-hwan was responsible) in July. I Reject Your Eulogies and Condolences by Im Dong-hwak I reject your eulogies and condolences. Though I…

• Korea/Japan/China – three leaders through their fathers’ names

  jjtrenka

  23 Dec 2012 | 8:34 am

  Is it a woman thing or an East Asian thing? This article is pointing out that the leaders of Korea, Japan, and China all have a famous father who was a leader of his country. In addition to Park Geun-hye, we have Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, who will take office December 26 this year, and Xi Jinping, who took office as the General Secretary of the Communist Party of China on November 15 this year.  왼쪽부터 고 박정희 전 대통령, 중국 시중쉰 전 부총리, 일본 아베 신타로 전 외무장관./사진=조선일보DB Abe’s father was Shintaro Abe, a foreign…

• 

  The Daily Bastardette

• Here's a shout out for my nephew Aaron Reese....

  Marley Greiner

  10 May 2013 | 9:25 pm

   This profile of Aaron appears in the latest issue of the Campus District Observer in Cleveland.  Aaron, as the profile says, is:a police officer for the Third District Community Service Unit in Cleveland. He works from 6 p.m. to 2 a.m. patrolling various neighborhoods within the 3rd district, which extends from the river in the flats to Little Italy and includes the Campus District. Aaron is passionate about ensuring the safety and quality of life of Clevelanders.We share a favorite Cleveland location:  Playhouse Square. Must run in the family!Aaron is the son of my…

• May 4, 1970 - 43 Years Later

  Marley Greiner

  4 May 2013 | 12:52 pm

  Nothing has changed It was just the beginning.. 

• Ohio: Bastard Bard Mary Gauthier Comes to Columbus!

  Marley Greiner

  3 May 2013 | 8:38 am

  Save the date! Distribute Freely! The great bastard bard Mary Gauthier will be performing here in Columbus on May 18. I first ran into Mary  over 10 years ago on WCBE.  I'd never heard of her.  I don't remember the name of the song that was played and the word "adoption" wasn't mentioned once. But Wowza!   I shouted  "that's about being adopted." It was.  And I googled her. Since then I've been a big fan.  Her May 2010 CD The Foundling, is a tour d' force of her own adoption experience:The  songs (on The Foundling) tell the story of…

• Ohio SB23 Update: Passes out of Senate Committee with Procedural Amendments

  Marley Greiner

  24 Apr 2013 | 1:22 pm

  This morning SB23--now Sub(stitute) Bill 23, sailed through the Ohio Senate Medicaid, Health, and Human Services Committee, 8-0. No substantive changes to the bill were made, but several amendments were added  to clarify procedures in the original bill. The sub bill is not online as of this writing, but should be available on the SB23 page shortly.Sub 23:Removes the 90-day deadline for the Ohio Department of Health (ODH) to mail the contents of an adoption file to the requesting adoptee.  The original bill time-framed the response window to 90 days, but…

• Ohio Report: April 17, 2013 Senate Committee Proponent Hearing on SB23

  Marley Greiner

  22 Apr 2013 | 5:06 pm

  I'm late in getting this posted, but I wanted to file a short report on the April 17 hearing for SB23 at the Ohio Senate Medicaid, Health, and Human Services Committee. You can also read an update on the ROAR site (Update #13).Wendy Bllitzer BarkettThis was the first proponent hearing (the sponsor hearing was held on February 13). and consisted of two groups of witnesses.  The first were adoptees, some from out of state; the second "the experts."Kicking off the hearing was adoptee poet Wendy Blitzer Barker  who came all the way from Texas to tell her story and support…

• 

  Kimchi Mamas

• A Holocaust Ignored

  Kimchi

  15 May 2013 | 1:13 pm

  I feel nauseated! I have never before in my life read something that gave me a physical reaction like this. I have the physical urge to throw up! I don’t even know where to begin. I’m going to try... Osaka Mayor Toru Hashimoto, who otherwise looks to be a human, said that the rape of women (comfort woman) was ok...

• Spicy! Seeking Asian Female

  Kimchi

  14 May 2013 | 6:14 am

  Have you read this review of the documentary Seeking Asian Female? What are your thoughts? I have a non-Asian male acquaintance who has a definitive "type" of woman - tiny, feisty, hardworking, future-baby/homemaking Filpina; but he's also the uber-geeky American guy who long-distance "dates" women in other countries, making the occasional trip east when funds allow. Seeking Asian Female, by...

• Happy Omma's Daze!

  Kimchi

  12 May 2013 | 8:40 am

  Just a little Mother's Day fun from our K-boy, Mike Song, and his ever-faithful and good humoured Omma, Laura. Thanks to iamkoream.com for the head's up . . . --Angie in Texas is now planning a dubstep inspired dance.

• Notice Anything Different About Us?

  Kimchi

  6 May 2013 | 10:10 pm

  Welcome to the newly redesigned Kimchi Mamas site! Please poke around and get re-acquainted, and let us know if there are any dead links or other oddities. So, for the internet equivalent of "Testing Testing 123," here is an animated gif of the cutest Kimchi Baby in the world, Yerin Park of YouTube fame. Hopefully she doesn't react to our...

• Dari: The First Bilingual Anthology of LGBTQ Korean American Stories and Art

  Kimchi

  2 May 2013 | 10:00 am

  May is dear to me for several reasons: it is Asian Pacific American Heritage Month, and it is also Mental Health Awareness Month! In those veins, I present to you a book released today by the Dari Project, a New York-based all-volunteer consortium that aims to increase awareness and acceptance of LGBTQ people of Korean descent in Korean American communities....

• 

  Lavender Luz

• Fall From Grace

  Lori Lavender Luz

  16 May 2013 | 8:00 am

  There’s a phenomenon I’ve observed in first-borns like myself, people who gain siblings around the age of 1 or 2 or 3.* We experience a fall from grace. For a time, we are at the center of the universe, as evidenced by the fact that our parents’ lives revolve around us. They delight in taking [...]

• What I Learned About Openness in Adoption By Writing a Book on Open Adoption

  Lori Lavender Luz

  11 May 2013 | 8:00 am

  Happy blogoversary to me! Six years ago today I popped my blogging cherry with a short post about my intent to join the Barren Bi+ches Book Brigade. We were soon to discuss Peggy Orenstein’s fabulous Waiting for Daisy, and that book tour turned out to be my entrée into the ALI (Adoption/natal Loss/Infertility) community. I’ve [...]

• A Quickie

  Lori Lavender Luz

  9 May 2013 | 2:09 pm

  Not a full post, just two alerts — one an invitation and the other an announcement: 1. Melissa at Stirrup Queens is graciously hosting a virtual book club tour of my book today. It feels a bit voyeuristic to listen in on conversations about my creation, but I’m enjoying myself immensely as I hop around [...]

• Q&A: Adopted Reality, where adoption and mental illness meet

  Lori Lavender Luz

  2 May 2013 | 6:54 am

  The word “bipolar” has called my attention twice in recent years. The first was during the time Roger and I  were waiting to adopt our second child (“Meaghan’s Baby“), and the second was this past winter when I read Laura Dennis’ memoir, Adopted Reality. Knowing her story makes me wonder how accurate were the ideas [...]

• Perfect Moment Monday: Meltdowns and Mirrors

  Lori Lavender Luz

  28 Apr 2013 | 7:00 pm

  I’d had some bad news. I hadn’t slept much the night before, worrying about all the changes that would ensue as a result of a conversation I’d  dreaded having. Though I know that somehow, things will be all right again time-wise, money-wise, family-wise, I allowed myself the luxury of feeling defeated, just for one day. [...]

• 

  Therapy Is Expensive

• Survey: Birth Parent Support Seeking

  Kat Cooley, MSW

  5 May 2013 | 9:58 am

  Did you relinquish your parental rights or have those rights terminated? There’s a survey about post placement support for birth parents. Share your experience and help to inform professionals so they can better serve birth parents. You can help get the word out by sharing a link to the survey any and everywhere: https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/PostPlacementSupportSeeking

• Unsettled

  Kat Cooley, MSW

  5 May 2013 | 8:46 am

  I’m still not sure what I saw. TeacherMan and I drove into the central meadow parking lot at Chambers Bay on our way to take PuppyFace to play in low tide. There was a car stopped in the street with it’s doors open.  Standing near a parked car were two teens. The girl looked upset and the boy seemed to be in her face.  As we drove past the boy wrapped his arms around the girl and she appeared to be struggling to get free.  I could see a few other adults in the area a woman with her cell phone out a man at his car and another in the grass all staring at the scene unfolding. I…

• Closing the Ever Revolving Door of the Birth Mom Closet

  Kat Cooley, MSW

  14 Mar 2013 | 8:16 pm

  What happens when you take a bunch of people who tend to avoid group situations and put them all in a room add some CBT, a lil DBT, a large dose of mindfullness and mix it all together with some psycho education? Well apparently an 8 week group for those diagnosed with Anxiety and or Depression. I completed my eighth session of group this week and thus graduated (i even got a certificate) from therapy group.  My first group there were 15 other participants my last group I was one of six. I’d like to say I was more comfortable as the group came to an end because I was cured of my…

• Are There Standards for Adoption Facilitation Services?

  Kat Cooley, MSW

  10 Mar 2013 | 10:33 pm

  Serious question: Are adoption facilitators regulated? Are there any standards they must adhere to?  I know they aren’t even allowed to work in some states, but in the states that they do operate in, do they have a set of rules they must follow? I ask because my most recent interaction with Lifetime Adoption Center, has left me cold and worried for anyone else who has or will ever seek their help in planning an adoption from either side. I originally requested my records in 2009.  After a brief runaround I received a scanned copy of a questionnaire I had filled out at the…

• WTF Wednesday Returns: In Which I Ramble…

  Kat Cooley, MSW

  27 Feb 2013 | 11:32 pm

  As this saga continues I’ll bring some clarity to this post but for now I just need to get it out. It’s like they all have a copy of the same script.  As I spoke to the worker (I refuse to say social worker because I can’t believe she is actually a qualified social worker) at the agency organization that facilitated the adoption of my son I felt like I was reading the both Danielle’s post as well as Jenna‘s. I started off in a very professional tone. But I was treated with disdain. I was made to feel like I was prying. And soon my tone was tinged with…

• 

  A Barrel Of Nelsons

• A New Skill Set

  admin

  21 May 2013 | 12:30 am

  Look at your workouts like they are training sessions that you are working on skills during.  Let everything else just fall into place as you get better at those skills by practicing them.  Become awesome at performing your exercises, and start breaking some personal records.  The better that you get at performing certain exercises the more fit that you will become.  For some people it is all about getting abs.   What ever the goal, you are going to have to work for it.  Change your perspective on the way that you train, and the way that you think about…

• Finding A Good Dermatologist NYC

  admin

  20 May 2013 | 4:36 pm

  I have been dealing with acne for many years now and nothing seemed to work. I finally decided to meet with a professional to talk about the different treatments I had not tried yet. A lot of treatments are available only through prescription and I was ready to give these methods a try. I found a great dermatologist NYC after asking my family doctor for a few references. I met with the first dermatologist who could give me an appointment and was not disappointed. I learned a lot about my skin condition and was prescribed a very efficient treatment.

• Smart Acupuncture Pointers That Will Boost Your Knowledge

  admin

  19 May 2013 | 12:27 pm

  Smart Acupuncture Pointers That Will Boost Your Knowledge How does acupuncture make you feel better? Does it alleviate symptoms? Sure does! Does it help to deal with the root of the problem, too? It absolutely does that and more! Acupuncture is an amazing treatment method you can learn about by reading this article, so don’t stop now! If your health insurance doesn’t currently cover acupuncture, write a letter to your insurance agency. Better yet, if you’re on a corporate insurance plan, ask your human resources director to write a letter stipulating the desire for…

• Where You Should Go to Obtain a Scoliosis Diagnosis

  admin

  19 May 2013 | 5:00 am

  Receiving a scoliosis diagnosis isn’t exactly the end of the world. A lot of people fail to understand what this disorder is all about. Their idea of it is either that it’s the end of the world or something that’s not worth spending too much time worrying about. Either way the fact remains that you need to receive a solid diagnosis from a medical professional. There’s no sense in going through the rest of your life thinking that there’s something seriously wrong with you when the exact opposite is true. With the proper information, you can then determine if you…

• Identity and the Reasons for Your Back Pain

  admin

  19 May 2013 | 2:45 am

  One of the major reasons why people deal with back pain on a frequent basis, is because they lived lives that are full of stress. The stress that people have can often manifest itself in the back. This is exactly the way that our back and our spine and was designed. It was designed to help us absorb any physical, and mental, and emotional stresses that we have through the day . Vancouver chiropractors specialize in helping individuals identify the reason behind the back pain that they have, and then helping them find a reasonable solution to the back pain that they have that they can live…

• 

  welcome to my brain . net

• If you are here to learn about adoption ...

  20 May 2013 | 12:18 am

  (photo by George Bosela; used with permission) I talk about whatever is floating my boat at the moment.  Sometimes I'm purposefully not talking about something because it's a current struggle.Adoption.  A current struggle.Certain topics come in waves throughout social media, and sometimes they come in waves because of atrocities occurring.  In adoption, atrocities are always occurring. Beauty, love, thoughtfulness, justice ... these things also occur all the time in adoption.However, that is the default conversation.  To truly support and help these things…

• Magical Milk Pic-o-the-Week

  14 May 2013 | 2:51 am

  "My view the past 12 weeks."(photo by reddit user, frazzledmomof3; used with permission)You may submit your own magical milk pic to magicalmilkpics@hotmail.com

• Mother's Day 2013

  13 May 2013 | 6:08 am

• Magical Milk Pic-o-the-Week

  7 May 2013 | 6:31 am

  (photo by heartlineministries.org; take and used with permission by Heartline and mama)  This is mom, Jimema, and her second set of twins.  The other set is also girls, who are 4 years old. You may submit your own magical milk pic to magicalmilkpics@hotmail.com

• The slippery-slope argument

  6 May 2013 | 7:26 am

  (photo by Bethany Carlson; used with permission) I have been spending some time challenging myself when it comes to logical fallacies.  I know that these aren't just issues that creep up in politics and media.  When looking at my own life, I can see how I use them, even in my parenting. While I fight hard to avoid using the classic "slippery-slope argument," and also encourage others to do the same, I have to admit that I'm pulled to it like a magnet when guiding my kids.  I know why I do it (fear, much?).  I know why I ignore that I do it (again with the fear). Okay, so…

• 

  this woman's work

• Be Here Now

  Dawn

  21 May 2013 | 5:00 am

  There are days when I just keep hitting repeat on this song. And here are the lyrics if you don’t have time to click play on the video: Don’t let your mind get weary and confused Your will be still, don’t try Don’t let your heart get heavy child Inside you there’s a strength that lies Don’t let your soul get lonely child It’s only time, it will go by Don’t look for love in faces, places It’s in you, that’s where you’ll find kindness Be here now, here now Be here now, here now Don’t lose your faith in me And I will try not…

• Let Tomorrow Come Tomorrow

  Dawn

  20 May 2013 | 4:27 am

  I’m reading a travel book by Alice Steinbach, Without Reservations. It’s a very quiet book and I’m enjoying it because this week my life has not been quiet and I like taking a vacation in a chapter or two. On page 77 she mentions a mantra that she’s adopted for her time in Paris, “Let tomorrow come tomorrow.” Most of us (myself included) have the bad habit of ruining today by not letting tomorrow come tomorrow. Either we’re trying to control the next day’s outcome with our actions today or we’re so tied up in worrying about the future (or…

• It won’t always be this way

  Dawn

  17 May 2013 | 5:13 am

  Way back when we were trying to have that elusive second baby, I would go for walks while my then 4-year old son was in preschool. His program met in a pretty, suburban neighborhood with big, handsome houses at one end and modest homes with front porches on the other end. I would pick my routes at random, not deciding which way to go until I hit a corner and found something to catch my eye. Halfway through the two-and-a-half hours, I’d turn around and arrive at the playground in time to see my son race around on a tricycle with his friends during the last free play of the day. Towards…

• When Toddlers Bite

  Dawn

  15 May 2013 | 4:53 am

  It’s no wonder that toddlers – who are struggling with language, autonomy and relationships – sometimes resort to biting. Biters bite: Because they’re frustrated. Children bite for the same reasons they hit, grab and scream. They bite because they don’t yet have the words and self-control to react calmly and appropriately to a frustrating situation. Because they’re exploring. Biting is another way to explore the world. Children bite toys and sometimes they bite each other. Because they feel insecure. If a child feels threatened by a peer or feels overwhelmed with a…

• “I will love who I am”

  Dawn

  14 May 2013 | 5:00 am

  We are big huge fans of Janelle Monáe and Erykah Badu at our house. Both of them in one song? Heaven. Get the inspirational lyrics here. The post “I will love who I am” appeared first on Building Family Counseling.

• 

  Voices for Vietnam Adoption Integrity

• Irish Agency Licensed To Resume Adoptions In Vietnam

  Christina

  23 Apr 2013 | 5:27 pm

  Relief for Waterford families as adoption agency given licence for Vietnam Fine Gael TD for Waterford, Paudie Coffey, has welcomed the news that Helping Hands Adoption Mediation Agency (HHAMA) has been awarded a licence to facilitate adoptions from Vietnam for Irish applicants. … “HHAMA is the first agency to be accredited in facilitating adoptions of [...]

• A Plea

  Christina

  5 Mar 2013 | 9:33 am

  What do you want me to say?  You who are waiting, waiting, waiting, for a child, your heart so frustrated and tender that the slightest bit of negativity sends you into a tailspin.  I know that feeling.  I lived that feeling.  Twice.  It is hard and so very painful.  Sometimes it feels like you can’t [...]

• Senator Landrieu: VN Adoptions May Restart “In The Near Future”

  Christina

  22 Feb 2013 | 3:58 pm

  While visiting Vietnam this week, Senator Mary Landrieu said she is hopeful that adoptions between the U.S. and Vietnam will be able to restart soon. According to the Associated Press: Senators and adoption lobby groups have been urging Vietnam to pass stronger laws and better monitor the process so that adoptions can resume. A leading [...]

• Press Release: Special Advisor for Children’s Issues Ambassador Susan Jacobs Visits Vietnam

  Tracy

  8 Nov 2012 | 10:42 am

  From the Embassy of the United States, Hanoi: HANOI, November 5, 2012 – Special Advisor for Children’s Issues Ambassador Susan Jacobs visited Vietnam October 30 – 31 as part of a larger trip to the region to discuss child protection systems and inter-country adoptions with officials from several countries.   Intercountry adoption between the United [...]

• Children’s Issues Advisor Tweets From Vietnam

  Christina

  31 Oct 2012 | 1:25 pm

  Special Advisor for Children’s Issues Ambassador Susan Jacobs is in Vietnam this week while on a tour of Asia. Earlier today she sent out the following tweet: Learning about the work of @holtintl to promote child protection programs in #Vietnam ow.ly/i/14WpY — Amb. Susan Jacobs (@ChildrensIssues) October 31, 2012

• 

  Third Mom

• Moved ...

  Margie Perscheid

  29 Apr 2013 | 6:59 am

  ... to We can do better: An adoptive parent questions, and occasionally answsers.

• 

  Writing My Wrongs

• Happy 27th

  Suz Bednarz

  16 May 2013 | 4:46 am

  Wishing my daughter the happiest 27th birthday a gal can have. Related posts: Happy 26th Very Happy New Year Happy Birthday to my Daughter

• Mothers and Sisters Day

  Suz Bednarz

  12 May 2013 | 7:51 pm

  When I told my now 15 year old son about his half sister, he was about 7.  The conversation happened right after I found her and I was full of emotion and hope.  I believed back then there was a chance she might meet me and by extension, him.  I did my best explaining to him. I cried while my son sat listening, watching, questioning and later, overwhelmed with the information, spinning in his chair. My ex-husband, his father, sat by and said nothing.  The entire experience is documented in my post, Telling Children. I never held such a conversation with my youngest son, soon to be 11.  I…

• Hello Springfield IL

  Suz Bednarz

  10 May 2013 | 4:04 pm

  Hello searcher from Springfield, IL. You used Bing to search the internet for the keywords “colleen rogers adoption caseworker illinois“.  You landed on my blog. You read the post titled Day of Surrender. Feel free to let me know if I can help with something.  Leave a comment here and I will get back to you. Your email will not be published but visible to me. I admit I am curious.  I would like to talk to her myself. She does not answer my requests for contact. Related posts: March 4th, 2007 Understanding Dead Air Decreased Reunions

• Time and New Stuff

  Suz Bednarz

  10 May 2013 | 12:41 pm

  If you were considering ordering from Chloe + Isabel for Moms Day or any day, just a note that today we launched the new summer Collection Retro Riviera.    Bright flowers, nautical themes and an adorable hedgehog or two are included in the collection. If you have not used the promo code yet, be sure to put MOM25 in at checkout for 25% off your order of $50.00 or more. All commissions for April and May will be donated to The Care Center in Holyoke, Massachusetts. Shop now or visit our Facebook page to learn more.  To encourage sales, I will be offering raffles, BOGOS and more.  You def…

• A Cure for Adoption

  Suz Bednarz

  7 May 2013 | 6:46 pm

  Keywords recently used to find my blog according to my statcounter: “does reunion cure adoption” My answer? No. The only “cure” for adoption is parenting your own child, but perhaps that is more a vaccination against the disease than a cure, right? Reunion changes the effects of the adoption (and not necessarily for the better) but it does not cure it, IMHO. Related posts: Adoption Detox Comforting Patterns Sine Auctore

• 

  FAMILY PRESERVATION ADVOCACY

• Child Snatchers: Doing God’s Work?

  Mirah Riben

  14 May 2013 | 11:53 am

  Review of The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking and the New Gospel of Adoption by Kathryn Joyce.  NY: PBS Public Affairs, 2013. Review by Mirah Riben.Kathryn Joyce is a hard-hitting, award-winning investigative journalist. She became interested in adoption through her in-depth probe of the Christian Quiverfull movement[1]Christian women bearing as many babies as humanly possible, many of whom now feel called or “commanded” by God and their pastors to add to their broods by adoption, some of which are akin to an unlicensed group homes often including children with special…

• The "Not Good Enough" Legacy of Adoption on Mother's Day

  Mirah Riben

  7 May 2013 | 10:54 am

  At the height of our adolescence when we are struggling with self-awareness many adoptees and mothers who have lost children to adoption are struck a lifelong traumatizing blow.For the adoptee who has been told they are adopted, adolescence and biology classes bring a new awareness of the flip side of having been chosen. Someone - the most important in our psyche - didn't want me, gave me away, rejected me. The result can be anger, depression, denial, addictions or a need to over-achieve and difficulty forming relationships.For mothers, it is often around this time, or early…

• The Mother I Wish I Had

  Mirah Riben

  4 May 2013 | 11:01 am

  About a year and a half ago I moved to a "retirement" over 55 community. One of the treasures I met here is MY 95-YEAR-OLD FRIEND, Betty. She told me today that she had a bad day the other day: Hard time thinking, which is very odd for this very sharp and active woman. She said she thought if this is the end, not so bad. She got ready for bed and put on her flannel nighty. Then on second thought, she took it off and put on her finest lingerie! She said if they found her in bed in the morning, she wanted to look good!  Ya' gotta love this woman!! I am so glad I have made her acquaintance.

• OFF TOPIC: Tribute to a Dear Departed Friend

  Mirah Riben

  30 Apr 2013 | 8:59 pm

  I was 17 or 18, waiting tables at the Cafe Wha and the Why Not on McDougal Street in the Village in 1962-3. Richie Havens was playing these basket houses. After the shows were over, we walked cross town to hang at his crib on Fourth between C and D where he played all night and his "brothers" Dino and Natgoa on the bongos. "Success is not measured by the position one has reached in life, rather by the obstacles one overcomes while trying to succeed" Booker T. WashingtonRichie started out with nothign and reached great heights.That smoke-filled pad (think Willie Nelson's bus) overflowed…

• Brown Versus Capobiancos: Father v Strangers

  Mirah Riben

  16 Apr 2013 | 2:35 pm

  As the Supreme Court decides the fate of Baby Veronica - now 3-1/2, major newspapers editorials take sides. some asking that the Indian Child Welfare Act be ignored and or done away with.The comments posted to these editorials and those supporting the rights of Veronica's father, are  VILE and clearly indicate that public opinion on these issues have remained unchanged since the 1970 Olga Scarpetta contested adoption.The public is firmly entrenched in the perception of adoptive parents ALWAYS being the more deserving party. They are seen as hallowed, selfless saviors who…

• 

  Adoption Blogs

• When Talking to Friends Doesn’t Help

  Donna V

  12 May 2013 | 10:29 pm

  Parents of Reactive Attachment Disorder kids are caught in a bind. On the one hand, few of us just happen to have within our circle of intimates close friends who are also parenting RAD kids. On the other hand, we need a lot of support from our friends exactly because we are parenting in such a challenging situation. What do we do? I talk to the counselor weekly, but when I’m out with the girls, and we’re talking about our lives, if I’m going to participate, I have to talk about what’s really going on with me. When I do, I run up against frames of reference that may…

• Emotional Debt in Adoption

  Russell

  8 May 2013 | 2:26 pm

  My wife and I have two beautiful children, both of which came to us through the miracle of adoption. What a blessing. What a joy. Still, though, it’s been quite the bumpy road to get to where we are now. One of the toughest things we’ve had to deal with was the feeling of guilt and debt. I mean, our children’s birth parents gave us the most wonderful gift—the gift of parenthood—which came through a big sacrifice on their part. Our adoptions are very open and we’ve communicated freely and often all along the journey, which means that we saw the heartbreak in their eyes when they…

• When Mother’s Day Just Isn’t.

  Danielle Barnsley-Cervo

  8 May 2013 | 7:40 am

  Mother’s Day can be a lonely day for a mother who isn’t a real part of her child’s life, after adoption. It can be a cold reminder of what you don’t have, as you see your friends on Facebook flash their picture, post their thanks and as families gather to celebrate the woman who helped make them who they are. It can make you feel, as a birthmother, entirely invisible. I remember sitting in church on Mother’s Day, and coaxing myself not to cry as they handed out roses to all the Mother’s. I didn’t get one. The year before, with my swollen belly, and…

• When Giving Up Works

  Donna V

  6 May 2013 | 10:04 pm

  We reached the end of the road with my seventeen-year-old son who will not do his school work. We’ve tried peanut butter sandwiches instead of yummy food until his work is turned in. We even tried charging him $50 per missing assignment out of his part-time job paycheck. He cried when he had to pay us $200 then turned around and paid us another $150 for three more missing assignments. So did he really care? I don’t think so. The final strategy–and this sounds draconian, but we were trying to get his attention–was to drive him to a motel and tell him we were paying for…

• Confidentiality in Kinship Care

  Sadia

  5 May 2013 | 7:28 pm

  I’m a single mom. I choose to involve others in the community in raising my kids, from their teachers to their godmother to family friends. When it comes to making the right call as a parent, two (or ten) minds can be better than one. I’m a big believer in raising my kids within a village of love and support. That said, it’s important to respect children’s privacy boundaries and need for confidentiality. Before I speak to even my closest friends to seek advice about my daughters, I get their permission. At age 7, my twins are old enough to tell me whether they’re…

• 

  Birthmother

• Dear Iowa: You Can't Have it Both Ways

  9 May 2013 | 12:20 am

  I've been blogging regularly on my Other Blog which is not to say that I do not frequently think of adoption and its myriad issues. I continue to see the world through the eyes of a birthmother, and those eyes popped wide open recently when I read THIS. I have some personal experience with Iowa's bureaucracy regarding birth certificates. In 1990 when I began to search for the son I had given up for adoption 20 years earlier, I wrote several letters to the Iowa Department of Human services asking them to provide me with the original birth certificate for my son. While I…

• New York Times: For Women Under 30, Most Births Occur Outside Marriage

  28 Feb 2012 | 8:30 am

  THIS STORY is already a week old, but I can't stop thinking about it.  For birthmothers my age, there is no more profound contrast between the era in which we gave up our children and today's regard for single mothers. I don't think the term, "single mother" existed in 1970.

• The Incredible Shrinking World of Women's Rights

  22 Feb 2012 | 1:38 pm

  The world is growing smaller for American women.  Rights won in decades past are being carved away. The Birth Control Panel recently hit women’s rights in its most vulnerable target. Pending legislation and the personhood movement will more than likely continue to snip away at what young women have come to think of  as unassailable rights.When I was a pregnant teenager in a small Catholic town in 1970, men were in charge of women and the same issues that are making headlines today.  I like to think the constraints of this kind of old-school…

• A Poem titled "New Year's Eve" by Carl Dennis

  31 Dec 2011 | 11:50 am

  NEW YEAR’S EVEHowever busy you are, you should still reserveOne evening a year for thinking about your double,The man who took the curve on Conway RoadToo fast, given the icy patches that night,But no faster than you did; the man whose carWhen it slid through the shoulderHappened to strike a girl walking aloneFrom a neighbor’s party to her parents’ farm,While your car struck nothing more notableThan a snowbank.One evening for recalling how soon you transformedYour accident into a comic taleTold first at a body shop, for comparingThat hour of pleasure with his hour of painAt the house of…

• Christmas 1990

  25 Dec 2011 | 7:41 am

  Not long before Christmas I wrote a letter to my son detailing who I was and how I’d come to give him up for adoption. I enclosed a faded color snapshot of his biological father and me dressed in our pastel evening finery at our senior prom. I tried to imagine what my son would think when he saw those two innocent smiles. Would he realize that he was in the photo too? Christmas was just a couple of weeks away, so I wrapped the letter around the photo and put the packet in a red envelope, hoping to pass it off as a Christmas card. If he doesn’t write me back in a couple of weeks, I…

• 

  Adoption Update

• Aging Out

  adoptionupdate

  16 May 2013 | 7:03 pm

  What does it mean to age out? I was a guest blogger at Love Without Boundaries today. Head on over and read it, share it, pin it, spread it. These stories need to be told. It is up to us to tell them. 

• Another Boy Ready For A Home

  adoptionupdate

  8 May 2013 | 5:59 pm

  This is Ben. Ben is on the right. Ben lives in China in an orphanage. He has lived here his whole life. Ben has mild CP and back when he was a preschooler, the orphanage director did not think that he could ever be adopted because no one would adopt a child with CP. As a result, they never started an adoption file for him. It was not until just a few years ago that an adoption file was created for him and the possibility of him being adopted became an option. By this time, Ben had seen many of his friends be adopted and he was always left behind. Can you imagine how that must feel? Ben is now…

• Let’s Talk Taxes 2013

  adoptionupdate

  6 May 2013 | 6:23 pm

  Now that the adoption tax credit has been made permanent by President Obama, let’s take a deeper look into how it actually works. 1. The adoption tax credit can be claimed for eligible adoption related expenses. All adoptions with the exception of stepparent adoptions fall under the tax credit. Also, just so you know surrogacy does not qualify either.The 2013 maximum credit amount is $12,970. 2. The tax credit is non-refundable. This means that only those individuals with tax liability will benefit from the credit. What does tax liability mean? It means only those people who end up…

• New piece of legislation

  adoptionupdate

  6 May 2013 | 12:08 pm

  Senator Mary Landrieu from Louisiana was a speaker at Summit 9 this past week. If you do not know her, she is one of adoptions biggest voices in our national government and we love her commitment to children who need a family. She released this statement prior to Summit 9 and I am anxious to see how and if this piece of legislation that she is speaking of will effect the current adoption community.  From Senator Mary Landrieu: I want to make you aware of an important piece of legislation I will be announcing this Friday at the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit in Nashville. It’s called…

• Adoption Advocacy Alert! This Boy needs a home!

  adoptionupdate

  6 May 2013 | 11:53 am

  ******Breaking new regarding Matthew******** Here is the deal, if Matthew does not have a completed adoption by mid September 2013, he will not be able to be adopted EVER. The Chinese government rules that once a child turns 14, they are never allowed to be adopted. The orphan status will follow him around for the rest of his life. The orphan status will make it difficult for him to be accepted into a school, get a job, finding housing, live a normal life. So, to help change his life Reese’s Rainbow has added him to their organization. You can donate towards an adoption grant on his…

• 

  About.com Adoption / Foster Care

• Help Your Child Finish the School Year on a Strong Note

  20 May 2013 | 2:33 am

  Photo © Carrie Craft, licensed to About.com, Inc. As we're finishing up school here this week, and man did time fly, it's easy to want to just coast in to a summer of relaxation. But, while it may be the end of the school year, it's still important as a foster parent to help your foster child finish the year strong....Read Full Post

• Foster Focus Magazine and Chris Chmielewski

  13 May 2013 | 1:15 am

  Photo courtesy of Chris Chmielewski Two years ago we learned about the launch of a new magazine for foster parents and others who work within the foster care system. That magazine, Foster Focus, launched May 2, 2011, in honor of National Foster Care Awareness Month...Read Full Post

• Happy Mother's Day

  12 May 2013 | 1:00 am

  Getty Images / Mario Lalich I have to agree with the popular saying, "Motherhood is not for wimps." I think it goes double for foster and adoptive mothers. It takes a special person to mother and nurture a child that is not your biological child....Read Full Post

• Today Is BirthMother's Day

  11 May 2013 | 1:56 am

  It may not be well known to the rest of the world, but so some in the adoption community - today, the Saturday before Mother's Day, is Birthmother's Day. Here is a link to some poetry and other writings by birth or first mom's....Read Full Post

• Mother's Day Is Coming!

  6 May 2013 | 11:49 pm

  Photo © Carrie Craft, licensed to About.com, Inc. There are many people who don't understand what it means to parent another person's child. The comments that I receive run from, "you're such a saint" to "you're so crazy." I personally hate these types of comments. Most days I feel like I fall short of one of the above descriptors and fully live up to the other....Read Full Post

• 

  [Birth Mother] First Mother Forum

• The Child Catchers exposes the stench of international adoption--and domestic adoption too

  20 May 2013 | 11:30 am

  Kathryn JoyceJournalist Kathryn Joyce takes on domestic infant adoption and international adoption in her new book, The Child Catchers, forcefully demonstrating its unsavory realities, including how it exploits vulnerable mothers. While the general public may believe adoption is a win-win solution that saves children, builds families, and allows poor biological mothers to get on with their lives, Joyce portrays it as the billion dollar industry it is, fueled by money, religious fervor, the high demand for children, and misguided altruism. She backs up her claims with scrupulous…

• Embryo 'adoption' just creeps us out

  17 May 2013 | 7:56 am

  Jane A reader asked us what we think about embryo adoption. She and her husband have nine embryos left over after creating a baby through in vitro fertilization. She cannot carry another child, but she and her husband do not want to destroy the frozen embryos or donate them to science, which is basically the same thing.The idea of creating a child to be raised by genetic strangers is just wrong. Child adoption at least has a socially valuable underpinning--to provide a home for a child who needs one. Embryo adoption exists solely to meet the needs of adults, those who believe life begins…

• Joyce Brothers touted the advantages of being adopted

  14 May 2013 | 12:19 pm

  photo by Marty Liederhandler of APPop psychologist Dr. Joyce Brothers who died yesterday was a pillar of the old adoption mindset that we are still combating today. She was the Dr. Drew and Dr. Phil of an earlier era, and the first to dispense advice to the masses with the patina of a psychology degree behind it. She was syndicated in hundreds of newspapers, and her charming, reassuring demeanor appealed to television audiences. Reading a few of her old columns gives us a window on the world in the Seventies and Eighties. In 1976, she "strongly" advised a woman who got pregnant by "mistake,"…

• When I had my first child, I regret not asking my mother for help

  11 May 2013 | 1:48 pm

  JaneFirst mothers often ask me "wouldn't your mother help you keep your baby?" The unspoken assumption is that if my mother has offered to help me, I would have kept my daughter.When my surrendered daughter, Rebecca, was born in 1966 white mothers commonly pressured their daughters to give up their babies. Others flat-out refused to help, threatening "If you bring that baby home, you can't live here." Between World War II and Row v. Wade, adoption was THE solution for unwed pregnancies in white middle-class families. These grandmothers-to-be were not unkind; they had bought into adoption…

• It's 'Mother's' Day again. And 'Birth' Mother's Day too.

  8 May 2013 | 11:54 am

  My daughter's Mother's Day card one yearHere it comes again, Mother's Day, impossible to miss because of the incessant ads that pop up everywhere, reminding us of our own fractured motherhood. I've been through the gamut of emotions about Mother's Day, beginning when I did not know where my daughter was, and my own mother did not even know my daughter existed, to those years after reunion when I spent the week preceding the big day hoping she would remember me in some small way. She usually did not. Oh heavy was my heart! While I was feeling sorry for myself, I always imagined a big…

• 

  Grown In My Heart

• Parents And The Taboos Of Touch

  admin

  4 May 2013 | 12:24 pm

  In the locker room of my upscale athletic club in Boca Raton, Florida, I was struck one day by two women standing outside the shower. Facing each other and standing close, they were casually conversing while washing their hair — both naked. Nudity with openness and ease is not generally seen in my locker room, where women walk around in towels, sit in the steam room in towels, and wear bathing suits to soak in the Jacuzzi, under a sign reading “Wear proper attire.” The two nude women must be foreign, I thought. They were Finnish. In the US, we equate nudity with sexuality…

• Controlling Snoring With Stop Snoring Devices

  admin

  2 May 2013 | 3:49 am

  Snoring is not considered a very serious problem because it has become very common. When you have got a mild kind of snoring, you will not feel disturbed during sleep but it will get more and more intense with time. Most of the serious snoring cases can become sleep apnea with time and sleep apnea is a very complex sleeping disorder that can make you suffer a lot. You will never get enough sleep when you have sleep apnea and it is very important that you take care of your snoring as well as sleep apnea as soon as possible. There are not many natural solutions for snoring but you can get…

• Navigating Racial Issues As A Parent

  admin

  15 Apr 2013 | 12:34 pm

  My parents were as good as they come, giving their three children all the love and trust we needed to build confidence and self-esteem. My father, Joe Lapchick, was a famous player for the Original Celtics, was head coach for St. John’s and later for the Knicks. I was proud of my father’s work and the way he fought racism in sport. He was the first white player to take a center jump against a black man. He signed Nat “Sweetwater” Clifton as the first black player in the NBA. I shared his passion for equality. I chose a profession that let me travel across the country…

• 

  clarkfcs.wordpress.com

• Trapped in Lives of Misery: Human Trafficking

  clarkfcs

  26 Apr 2013 | 7:18 am

  Human trafficking, a multi-billion dollar, international enterprise has become a worldwide threat. Every year, thousands of men, women and children fall into the hands of traffickers. Human traffickers prey on the most innocent and vulnerable people, forcing them into modern-day slavery for the purpose of exploitation—prostitution or other forms of sexual exploitation, slavery, forced labor or service, servitude or the removal of organs. Although human trafficking is a worldwide problem; a staggering 100,000 children are thought to be involved in the sex trade in the United States alone.

• Wear Blue to Support the Prevention of Child Abuse: April 10

  clarkfcs

  2 Apr 2013 | 10:31 am

  Wear Blue Campaign A report of child abuse is made every ten seconds. Every year, six million children in the United States experience child abuse and neglect. The United States looses a staggering five children every day to abuse-related deaths—the highest of any industrialized nation. Clark County Family and Children Services ask you to join us as we stand up and support the prevention of child abuse. Wear Blue is a statewide awareness campaign that takes place during Child Abuse Prevention Month, on the second Wednesday of every April. We encourage families, friends, neighbors,…

• Interview with Tracy Perks: Independent Living Program for Clark County Foster Kids | Part 2

  clarkfcs

  19 Feb 2013 | 1:42 pm

  We recently spoke to Tracy Perks, the independent living coordinator for Clark County Family and Children Services, and she shared with us a little bit about her role and how the Independent Living program helps foster kids in Clark County. How do you determine which foster child gets independent living services? All foster children can receive independent living services. We want to provide services to them in any way we can. What are the services provided to 15-18 year olds? The big indicator that helps us determine what services a child needs is how they score on the Daniel Memorial…

• Interview with Tracy Perks: Independent Living Program for Clark County Foster Kids | Part 1

  clarkfcs

  29 Jan 2013 | 9:52 am

  We recently spoke to Tracy Perks, the independent living coordinator for Clark County Family and Children Services, and she shared with us a little bit about her role and how the Independent Living program helps foster kids in Clark County. Can you tell us about your position with the independent living program in Clark County? Since I started working here almost 15 years ago, I have worked in the independent living area. I was promoted to the coordinator position in June. We are currently serving 35 emancipated and independent living youth. Emancipated youth are children who aren’t in…

• Interview with Kristie Heckman: Kinship Care Offers Hope to Children and Families in Clark County

  clarkfcs

  13 Nov 2012 | 10:38 am

  Earlier this week we spoke to Kristie Heckman, supervisor of Clark County’s Kinship Navigator Program, to learn more about the program and its role in our community. The Kinship program is a vital part of Clark County Family and Children Services. It connects children who cannot remain in their own homes with a relative or non-relative adult or family whom they have a relationship with who can care for them. Kristie shared a little bit about the program when we spoke: What is the Kinship Program? We provide case-management, information referral and supportive services to children who are…

• 

  Adoption Truth

• Remembering On Mother's Day

  9 May 2013 | 12:22 pm

  It’s that time again, isn’t it.Time for Mother’s Day and Birth Mother’s Day.If anyone has read my blog long enough they already know my feelings and opinions about Birth Mother’s Day.And I don’t want to go there again this year.  Instead, I just want a post that remembers the many mothers who have lost their children through adoption who will hurt this Mother’s Day while so many others celebrate.Remembers those who face days where they can’t stop the tears.  Can’t stop the pain.Those who are hurting so bad inside but are forced to hide it from so many.The mothers…

• Open Is A Myth

  25 Apr 2013 | 1:01 pm

  Overall, I’m not a huge fan of open adoption.I firmly believe the accepted practice, that is the norm in today’s world, is just as damaging and painful as closed adoption.From the very start, the promise of open adoption is used to convince vulnerable, pregnant mothers to give up their babies.  It came into existence, not because the Adoption Industry suddenly grew a heart and started to care about what was TRULY best for mothers and their unborn children.  But because adoptions were drastically dropping after the Baby Scoop Era.  Because the demand for newborns was…

• I Choose Justice

  17 Mar 2013 | 9:04 pm

  “Will we be extremists for the preservation of injustice or for the extension of justice?” - - Martin  Luther King Jr.I get so tired of adoption.  So tired of the injustices that come with it.For something that is so easily accepted as being all about an overflow of love and happiness, there is an awful lot of pain and hell involved.Something I was reminded about all over again these last couple of months.It’s been the little things that I know to expect and should be more than used to after all these years, compounding on top of yet another surgery for my oldest son in his…

• Force Of Nature

  17 Jan 2013 | 7:50 pm

  In all the years I've been a part of the fight for adoption reform and family preservation, in all the different First Moms I have come to know, the many stories and experiences I have heard, there is one overwhelming similarity we all share . . . We wanted to keep and raise our children but, for whatever reason, unique to our own experiences, we believed giving our babies up for adoption was what we had to do.  We didn’t have the confidence in ourselves, the belief in our own importance to our child, and were left with feeling as if we couldn’t possibly raise our own child and the…

• Big Business

  1 Jan 2013 | 6:23 pm

  So, we’ve all heard the news now about the Russian Adoption Ban.  Many great writers have commented on the story on their blogs, carefully highlighting facts beyond the tales of heart broken couples affected by Putin’s decision . . .The Russian Ban on US AdoptionsTo me it is disappointing to see the majority of the opinions on the ban.  I readily admit to having a limited amount of knowledge about International Adoption compared to so many other wonderful voices out there.  But I do know the adoption industry and I do know it is, at its very core, a clear and true example…

• 

  The Declassified Adoptee

• Mother's Day is for you too: A Letter to my Unknown Foster Mother

  Amanda

  17 May 2013 | 7:27 pm

  I was delighted to discover that one of my blog posts from last year "A Letter to my Foster Mother" was nominated for the "Best of Writing About Adoption and Mother's Day" list at Open Adoption Bloggers.  Unfortunately, sometime between when I was nominated and when the award came out, I must have taken the post down as a part of re-vamping and re-freshing my blog.  It was a post that I had intended to add some things to and re-shape.  A year has gone by since I wrote it and there are some more things I would want my unknown foster other to know, if I had the chance to tell…

• Exploring the Richness of Identity: My Conversation with Susan Harris O’Connor about the Harris Racial Identity Model for Transracially Adopted Persons.

  Amanda

  9 May 2013 | 6:30 am

  Susan Harris O'ConnorI first met Susan Harris O’Connor when she and I presented together on the adoption panel at the Civil Liberties and Public Policy Conference, last month. When we spent the day together, I learned about Susan’s work and her book. Her recently published book contains five of her life narratives that she has performed before numerous audiences, including Harvard Medical School, Yale Law and Smith College.  I highly recommend it for anyone connected to adoption, regardless of your racial or ethnic background.  One piece in-particular caught my attention;…

• 20 Quick Tips to Better Advocate for Yourself & Others

  Amanda

  29 Apr 2013 | 8:59 am

  In my four years identifying as an activist, I have had the opportunity to learn from other experienced activists as well as engage in the discussion of theories-of-change in my academic social work experience. As an activist, you are never done learning. While I have been an activist for only a short while now, part of my learning process is to explain to others what I have learned. How can we effect positive change if we don't pass on our knowledge to others to benefit from?The wonderful thing about so many of the tips I have written below is that they are applicable to advocacy at all…

• The Child Catchers: a Guest Review by Sociologist Dr. Gretchen Sisson

  Amanda

  24 Apr 2013 | 6:30 am

  The Child Catchers: Changing adoption, challenging God's purposeGuest Review by Dr. Gretchen SissonSystems of adoption have always been enmeshed with the goals of the religious. From the Orphan Trains of the nineteenth century, run by the Protestant Children’s Aid Society, which targeted the “slum” children of Catholic Irish and Italian immigrants (living immigrants, it should be noted; the “orphan” part of the name was a misnomer or, more likely, a lie), to the maternity homes of the twentieth century, so often run by the Catholic Church and targeting the newborns of unwed mothers.

• A Discussion of Adoption-Reconstruction Phase Theory with Dr. L. DiAnne Borders

  Amanda

  23 Apr 2013 | 6:30 am

  DiAnne and her son Jacob.Out of all of the theories that I have learned in my academic social work career, I find myself most drawn to theories described in phases and stages.  For me, they are easier to remember and often clearly lay out how individuals can evolve over time.  Theories and models don't describe everyone, but they're important to learn as a basis of understanding people and the challenges that they face.  A few years back, I was delighted to stumble upon an article that contained a phase theory for adult adoptees.  Written by L. DiAnne Borders, Judy…

• 

  NYC Single Mom

• Andaz Hotel Street Art Wordless Wednesday #TBDArt @Andaz5th

  NYCSingleMom

  21 May 2013 | 2:41 am

  Walking down 5th Avenue near 42nd Street, it was hard to miss this street art next to the Andaz Hotel. If you look closely, you will see the door handles in the middle of the artwork. The doors lead... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• New Disney Baby Products including Monsters University Themed Baby Gear @MonstersU

  NYCSingleMom

  20 May 2013 | 3:38 am

  Disney Baby is not just focused on perennial and iconic favorites Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse but will not include Monsters, Inc. Monsters University is slated to launch in a few weeks so just in... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• Space Kiddets 50% Off Summer Sale

  NYCSingleMom

  20 May 2013 | 3:10 am

  New Yorkers Space Kiddets, one of the coolest places to buy kids clothes, gear and toys is having a 50% Summer Sale beginning Monday, May 20. This is a great time to check out what’s in the... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• Star Trek Into Darkness Review – Well Worth My $13 #StarTrek #IntoDarkness

  NYCSingleMom

  20 May 2013 | 3:04 am

   Star Wars Into Darkness directed by JJ Abrams, starring Chris Pines (Captain Kirk); Zachary Quinto (Spock); Zoe Saldana (Lt. Uhura); Simon Pegg (Scotty);  John Cho (Sulu); and Karl Urban (Bones). ... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• GIVEWAY: iCarly Groovy Foodie Nintendo DS Game

  NYCSingleMom

  20 May 2013 | 1:47 am

  iCarly Groovy Foodie Nintendo DS Game: Here is your chance to continue your love of every one’s favorite Nick show, iCarly with the iCarly Groovy Foodie game for Nintendo DS. Gamers: Carly and... [[ This is a content summary only. Visit my website for full links, other content, and more! ]]

• 

  One Thankful Mom | Lisa Qualls

• Tuesday Topic: Help for Parents of Newly Adopted Baby

  Lisa Qualls

  21 May 2013 | 6:41 am

  This week’s question is from a couple who recently adopted a young baby. This is what they wrote, We recently adopted a 9 month old baby girl from Ethiopia. Ever since we’ve had her, it was been a struggle to do diaper changes. She screams every time. It’s so bad that she starts fussing as soon as she see’s us grab a diaper. We have tried things such as putting her in front of the TV while changing, giving her a toy, talking to her, but nothing seems to distract her enough to keep her from screaming. We’ve had 2 children from birth and have not…

• Just How Patient is Our Love?

  Lisa Qualls

  20 May 2013 | 6:38 am

  Many of us are familiar with the popular verses written about love in 1 Corinthians 13. We read that, 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never ends… These verses are loaded with meaning, so much so that  I’m stuck on the first three words, “Love is patient.” In the past, I…

• Sunday Gratitude

  Lisa Qualls

  19 May 2013 | 6:45 am

  2009 I love the quiet of my house this Sunday morning. Soon we’ll be rushing about getting everyone out the door to church, but for the next few minutes, it’s me, coffee, my Bible, and Dietrich Bonhoeffer – or his biography, at least. I’m determined to finish reading last month’s book group pick before I move on to the next one. With over 500 pages, every fifteen minutes counts. We had a hard week, yet there were so many dramatic moments of grace, that as I look back I can see how the Lord carried us every single day. giving thanks #1111 – 1120 lilacs, in…

• THINK

  Lisa Qualls

  17 May 2013 | 6:00 am

  I was reminded of this great acronym earlier this week when I saw it hanging on a friend’s refrigerator. THINK T: Is it truthful? H: Is it helpful? I: Is it inspiring? N: Is it necessary? K: Is it kind? Have you used this with your children?  I need to work on this with my kids this summer. Any other brilliant acronyms you can share with us? Happy Friday, Lisa Share/Bookmark

• Parenting and Shame

  Lisa Qualls

  16 May 2013 | 12:01 pm

  How does shame affect the way we parent? We place such high expectations on ourselves, yet sometimes we find that even with the best education and support, our children’s brokenness is more than we can heal. We mothers should be able to heal our children, right? Well, I couldn’t, and I know that many of you can’t either. And while I can extend grace to others with relative ease, I struggle to extend it to myself. Brene Brown’s research on shame is fascinating. Her TED talk on vulnerability has been viewed over nine million times. Her talk on shame, which she gave a…

• 

  Rage Against the Minivan

• Questions of Eternal Significance: Do you unpack in a hotel room?

  21 May 2013 | 4:59 am

  Source: frostedpetticoatblog.com via The Frosted Petticoat on Pinterest   This has been an insane month of travel for me. It started with the Mom 2.0 Summit, then a few days later our trip to Disney World, and today I’m off to San Francisco for a couple days for work. I think, by the end of the month, I will have slept in a hotel more nights than I’ve slept in my own bed. This fact . . . is not my favorite. I am a nester by nature. I love to travel but I also really like to settle in and put everything in it’s place. When I travel, I always, always unpack my suitcase completely. If…

• Two streams of the same river

  20 May 2013 | 4:39 am

  This is a guest post by Shelley Clay, originally published on the blog for The Apparent Project. I read it last week and it so clearly articulated the thoughts I’ve been having about the polarity of thinking regarding international adoption and orphan care. Shelley graciously let me post it here. For a little backstory, Shelley and her husband Corrigan live in Haiti, working with The Apparent Project.This non-profit seeks to assist mothers and fathers in poverty keep their children, by providing them with a specialized skill, such as jewelry making, bookbinding, or sewing. In Haiti alone,…

• Disney Social Media Moms 2013, day 4

  19 May 2013 | 11:43 pm

  Over the past few days, I’ve been sharing photos of our recent trip to the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. I am using Disney’s new Story app to share our photos and video (they have sponsored this post). If you are a scrapbooker – you will love this app for the way it easily organizes your pictures into shareable moments, with caption and text options. If you are not a scrapbooker (like me), you will love it even more because it makes it look like you are with very little work. This post is sponsored by Disney Story. To find out more about this new story-creation app - and how it…

• that’s what SHE said: pinterest ruins bananas, race as a social construct, mom dating, and more . . .

  19 May 2013 | 1:29 am

  via j5n Why Angelina Jolie's Op-Ed Matters | Monkey See NPR And yes, as much as none of us would likely say that we equate breasts with femininity or beauty, it will be powerful to someone at some brutal moment to have heard her say that she did this and feels no less feminine, no less beautiful, and she's still with Brad Pitt. That shouldn't make anybody feel better, rationally, logically, reasonably, it's just a famous person, it shouldn't matter. We should look to our parents as role models! To our teachers, our doctors and nurses, our fighter pilots and scientists! Yes, in a fair world,…

• Disney Social Media Moms 2013, day 3

  18 May 2013 | 11:43 pm

  Over the next few days, I’ll be sharing photos of our recent trip to the Disney Social Media Moms Celebration. I am using Disney’s new Story app to share our photos and video (they have sponsored this post). If you are a scrapbooker – you will love this app for the way it easily organizes your pictures into shareable moments, with caption and text options. If you are not a scrapbooker (like me), you will love it even more because it makes it look like you are with very little work.   This post is sponsored by Disney Story. To find out more about this new story-creation app - and…

• 

  Julie Gumm

• When jealousy isn’t really jealousy

  Julie

  20 May 2013 | 5:00 am

  As my kids get older, I love the conversations we get to have as they navigate much more complex issues. The other day one of them was working through some feelings and really, just trying to figure out what they were. They were concerned that the might be jealous of a friend, which they didn’t want to do because they knew that wasn’t right. Apparently said child is known in their class for their artistic talent. Now there is another student who has shown great talent in this area as well and the other children are making a fuss over her. That left my child with a mess of feelings…

• Power Shopping – PureCharity.com Launches Adoption Fundraising Platform

  Julie

  17 May 2013 | 4:00 am

  About a year ago via a few blogs and Twitter, I began to hear about PureCharity.com. Pure Charity gives “power shopping” new meaning. By creating a Pure Charity account and installing a simple browser plug-in, you can earn “Rewards” each time you shop at a Pure Charity partner. Partners include companies like Walmart, Old Navy, Target, Apple, Expedia…the list goes on and on. It’s fun to see my little Pure Charity icon pop up when I’m shopping. A quick click and I’m earning money to go into my own Rewards Network. Then I can browse the hundreds…

• “Freezer Pleaser” Adoption Fundraiser

  Julie

  13 May 2013 | 10:32 am

  Whenever I speak on fundraising I love to leave some time at the end of the session to answer it up to questions. But I always ask those in attendance to share any unique ideas they’ve done/seen/heard. I LOVE the stuff that comes out of this! At the Christian Alliance for Orphans Summit 9 I did a breakout titled “Creative Fundraising for Your Adoption & Ministry.” During the Q & A time Victoria from New Beginnings shared about their “Freezer Pleaser” fundraiser. They did it as a fundraiser for their Junior Auxiliary but I’m sure it would translate…

• Vintage Word Art Adoption Benefit

  Julie

  7 May 2013 | 8:57 am

  Yesterday we announced our “Love Crosses Oceans” t-shirts to benefit my nieces adoption. Today, I’m announcing my “Vintage Word Art”. I posted a test case to Facebook a couple weeks ago and had a great response, so we’re rolling them out. I have some adoption themed and some not. I can also do custom work. Go HERE to purchase or order custom work. Have you seen how cute my niece is? My brother and his wife only have about 8 weeks until travel so we’re in high-gear fundraising mode!

• “Love Crosses Oceans” T-shirts for Africa and China

  Julie

  6 May 2013 | 5:00 am

  Well, I’m safely home from CAFO Summit 9 and had a great time. Tons to blog about this week and I will. Promise. But today it’s finally time to announce that the “Love Crosses Oceans” t-shirts are available to order. We fixed this failed design. All proceeds go to the adoption of my niece Olivia. They just got their I-800 back, so they could be traveling in as little as 8 weeks. This adoption has happened super fast for them and so they are working hard to raise funds. Olivia’s from China but we did Africa shirts too. Both designs area available for women (plum),…

• 

  Lost Daughters

• Was it best for me to be adopted?

  Mila

  21 May 2013 | 5:30 am

  I was having this train of thought the other day:I wonder who my Omma (Korean birth mother) and Appa (Korean birth father) might have become had they been given the same opportunities that I have been given? And then, I started thinking about what might have happened had I grown up in the same circumstances in which they had grown up? Or what my life might have been had I grown up with them as my parents in the situations they faced?And automatically my mind started to veer onto the track of "See, it's a good thing you were adopted. Look at all you have because you were adopted. So, maybe it…

• The Lost Daughters Discuss The Child Catchers by Kathryn Joyce - Part Three of a Series

  Karen Pickell

  18 May 2013 | 4:30 am

  Today we continue our discussion of the new book by investigative journalist Kathryn Joyce,  The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption. If you missed the previous installments in this series, you can read them here:Part 1: God's will and the moral imperative to adoptPart 2: Domestic adoption and the rebranding of adoption via specific languageIn this installment, we focus on orphanages, deception of adoptive and original parents, and coercive tactics employed by the adoption industry. We invite you to join the conversation in the comments following each…

• The Lost Daughters Discuss The Child Catchers by Kathryn Joyce - Part Two of a Series

  Karen Pickell

  17 May 2013 | 4:30 am

  Today we continue our discussion of the new book by investigative journalist Kathryn Joyce,  The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption. Yesterday, we talked about God's will in adoption and the moral imperative to adopt.In this installment, we focus on domestic adoption and the rebranding of adoption via specific language. We invite you to join the conversation in the comments following each post.Lynn Grubb:  As we have seen in the history of adoption (Orphan Trains, Georgia Tann in Tennessee, and currently in all the countries who have closed to…

• The Lost Daughters Discuss The Child Catchers by Kathryn Joyce - Part One of a Series

  Karen Pickell

  16 May 2013 | 4:30 am

  Today we begin a series of posts about the controversial new book by investigative journalist Kathryn Joyce,  The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption. Joyce's work has appeared in top-notch publications such as Mother Jones and The Atlantic, and she's been awarded numerous residencies and fellowships. A previous book, Quiverfull: Inside the Christian Patriarchy Movement, was published in 2009. The Child Catchers takes us inside the evangelical Christian adoption movement, exposing the corruption of the so-called "orphan crisis" and of the…

• Moses the Adoptee?

  Mila

  14 May 2013 | 5:30 am

  [I know this post is long, but I didn't know how else to deal with such a topic with more brevity.]I. Moses the Adoptee? We hear this one all the time--But Moses was adopted! So don't you see--he exemplifies just how much adoption is God's work, God's gospel, God's way of saving children!Although I can see how it would be easy enough to make such an assumption or inference, it is important to remember that the story of Moses was not originally preserved and recorded so that Christians in the 21st century would have a biblical basis for their current adoption theology and practices. Rather it…

• 

  One Inch of Grace

• Wayne State Weekend School of Music

  shannon2818

  18 May 2013 | 11:00 am

  A lot of people are surprised to find out about all the great resources for kids in Detroit. One of my new favorites in the Wayne State University Weekend School of Music. It’s one of those “hidden gems,” and I only found out about it thanks to an old coworker whose own children had attended. I signed up both BE and BC in January and their session just ended (they’ll start a new one in June – sessions correspond to college semesters). BE took piano and BC took drum. The classes are held as group lessons and meet almost every Saturday. At first I wasn’t sure…

• Girls (on the Run) just wanna have fun

  shannon2818

  15 May 2013 | 8:00 am

  Meet the newest poster girl for Girls on the Run: BE at her first day of Girls on the Run What’s Girls on the Run, you ask? It’s a program for young girls focused on physical activity and character development.  Throughout the “season,” the girls train in teams for a 5K while completing self-esteem. building activities. I’ve been dying for BE to be old enough to participate for years, and finally this year, she could. At first, she wasn’t excited about it, and agreed to join only when I bought her a running skirt (perfect for girly girls like her). Well,…

• Another Mother’s Day

  shannon2818

  12 May 2013 | 7:00 am

  I’ve written in the past about my uneasiness with Mother’s Day, and now I’ve found a new reason to dislike the holiday. One of my fellow Shetroit bloggers recently wrote about the origins of Mother’s Day – who knew it started out as a peace movement? Please take a minute to check it out! This week, the Shetroit blog was full of Mother’s Day posts and there’s another story that I was truly excited about. One writer, described her mother’s pregnancy at the age of 17 and her decision to parent despite suggestions otherwise. I think family…

• I’m 33

  shannon2818

  10 May 2013 | 11:49 am

  There’s a local Ethiopian restaurant that I LOVE, but I’ve been very nervous about taking the kids there. My birthday was earlier this week, and I decided to risk it. So we went, and much to my surprise, the kids did great. They tried almost everything – I think the fact that they got to eat with their hands helped a lot. Maybe we’ll even go back! Our big platter of Ethiopian food I wore my Ms. Frizzle skirt for my birthday. I got this skirt from Anthropologie and it reminded me of something Ms. Frizzle (of Magic School Bus fame) would wear. Birthday card from BC…

• My new blogging project

  shannon2818

  7 May 2013 | 10:37 am

  I’m very proud to be a new member of the blogging team at Shetroit.com! Shetroit.com (a play on “Detroit”) focuses on local women’s inspiring stories. I’ll continue to blog here too, but in the meantime, please check out my first post (and all the other great content on Shetroit.com).

• 

  Transracialeyes

• The Anti-Antiadoption Discourse in “Response” to a New Expose

  Snow Leopard

  29 Apr 2013 | 11:30 am

  A researcher, or perhaps a journalist, Kathryn Boyce has recently written an expose, The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption (published 23 April 2013), on how evangelical Christians are preaching the new gospel of adoption. I haven’t read the book; I’m flagging it down here in case someone wants to. My guess is that the information it contains will be received as not new news here, but the subtitle “rescue, trafficking, and the new gospel of adoption” seems like the right sort of unholy trinity for suspecting the author is on the kind of…

• YOUR PARTICIPATION IS VALUABLE TO MY STUDY!

  Daniel Ibn Zayd

  23 Apr 2013 | 8:59 am

  This is quoted from a “comment” from a grad student in clinical psychology. What do you think of those who want to “study” us? Your participation is valuable to my desire to bang my head against a wall.

• Have we created an adoptee ghetto?

  Daniel Ibn Zayd

  20 Apr 2013 | 1:09 am

• Common cause.

  Daniel Ibn Zayd

  10 Apr 2013 | 12:21 pm

  Some 30 years ago when I was a jerky Jersey Boy listening to new-wave and post-punk music in an effort to be “alternative” and “rebellious” (within the safe limits of suburbia of course) the English band The Beat came out with a sub-song to their “Whine and Grind” entitled: “Stand Down Margaret” [ link ]: I said I see no joy, I see only sorrow I see no chance of your bright new tomorrow So stand down Margaret, stand down please, stand down Margaret I say stand down Margaret, stand down please, stand down Margaret Oh tell me how can it work in…

• “Racism’s labyrinth”.

  Daniel Ibn Zayd

  8 Apr 2013 | 7:19 am

  I came across this essay by Prof. Asma Barlas [ link ], entitled Racism’s Labyrinth. It’s a quick read, but quite interesting on a number of levels. An excerpt: Whether white people want to claim their whiteness or not, whiteness claims them by positioning them as potential saviors of people of color. Liberals speak on our behalf; feminists tutor us, and conservatives discipline us, all of which are ways of saving us from ourselves. I am no stranger to the Catholic redemption narrative, but what I find foreign are the salvational pedagogies of a racism that is packaged as a…

• 

  Unsigned Masterpiece

• Memories of Mother’s Days

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  12 May 2013 | 1:10 am

  The next day, when it was time for my daughter to go, we went back to the same RER station near Notre Damein the early morning hours. She went home, we went to London. It felt very strange. Very strange to go our separate ways.

• Adoption Reunions and Expectations.

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  15 Apr 2013 | 1:10 am

  A very excellent look at what is often going on in reunions.

• April 10th is Always Mother’s Day to Me…

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  10 Apr 2013 | 7:04 pm

  It's the anniversary of meeting my son. I am remembering and smiling.

• For those who fought for the truth to be heard, we hear you now…

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  21 Mar 2013 | 12:25 pm

  For those who fought for the truth to be told, we hear you now. Australia apologizes.

• You have to start somewhere…

  Unsigned Masterpiece

  20 Feb 2013 | 1:10 am

  Do I want to start writing my blog again? To be honest I'm not sure. Do I still believe in adoption reform and adoption activism? You bet.

• 

  Together for Adoption

• Cosmetic vs. Cosmic Solutions to Unethical Adoption (Part 1)

  Dan Cruver

  21 May 2013 | 11:17 am

  Note: In this blog series, all lowercase occurrences of the word “adoption” refer to the practice of families adopting children. All uppercase occurrences (“Adoption”) refer to God’s work of Adoption within redemptive-history. Article synopsis: While lowercase “adoption” presents a cosmetic solution to the global orphan crisis, uppercase “Adoption” presents a cosmic solution.Jen Hatmaker can flat-out write well. I love reading what she writes. She’s a very gifted writer and clear thinker. Case-in-point: her recent blog series…

• Adoption Nuggets (8): Dipping Into Historical Theology (6)

  Tim J R Trumper

  13 May 2013 | 9:40 pm

  The summer months are coming! They revive fun memories of tip-toeing into the water until the depth forces a decision as to whether to plunge in or not.We reached that point of decision in our last posting, deeming the waters of the Greek Fathers too unchartered to venture out further in our search for adoption. We prefer a better knowledge of the waters before proceeding. The study of them is ongoing.Since we don’t want to return to shore, we look for some way to our left or right in which we can edge forward without having to take the plunge just yet. Roughly translated in the…

• 10 Prayers for Expanded Hearts for Orphans in U.S. Churches in 2013

  Dan Cruver

  3 May 2013 | 4:42 am

  I was asked to lead a prayer time this morning at Summit 9 with a focus on seeing expanded hearts for orphans in U.S. churches in 2013. Listed below are requests I’m encouraging everyone to as the Father to do in the U.S. church in 2013 for the sake of the orphan. Will you join me not only in praying but also in striving to be part of the answers to these requests? Please pray that:1. 10 pastors in each state will preach a sermon for the first time that proclaims God’s heart for the orphan. Result: 500 more churches begin thinking about how they can care for orphans.2. 10 pastors…

• Adoption Nuggets (7): Dipping Into Historical Theology (5)

  Tim J R Trumper

  25 Apr 2013 | 11:34 am

  Irenaeus paved the way for the development of robust doctrines of the Fatherhood of God and adoption. As the father of biblical theology, he recognized that the history of redemption is the essential backdrop of both doctrines. By offering seminal additional pointers to the systematization of the Bible’s theology he also revealed how various thematic strands of the history of redemption can be doctrinally and practically applied.As things turned out, Irenaeus’ “writings fell remarkably quickly into the background and were almost completely forgotten by his fellow countrymen” (Hans…

• Live in the Story Nashville

  Dan Cruver

  16 Apr 2013 | 11:52 am

  There is still time to join Scotty Smith, me, and 58 other people for our May 1st Pre-Summit Live in the Story Intensive in Nashville, TN. Together for Adoption is once again partnering with Christian Alliance for Orphans to provide an intensive full-day event designed for Christians and ministry leaders who desire to journey further into the transformative theology of adoption (i.e. God’s work of adoption within the Story of redemption) for the sake of the orphan. Scotty Smith is presenting one of our Live in the Story sessions that day.This Pre-Summit Intensive is open to all Summit…

• 

  Cheese Curds and Kimchi-Our international adoption story

• Adoption Books For Kids: We Adopted You, Benjamin Koo

  19 May 2013 | 8:23 am

  We adopted you, Benjamin Koo by Linda Walvoord Girard Wow. I love this book! It got everything just right. We are definitely adding it to our collection! The story is told by a nine-year-old Korean adoptee named Benjamin. He talks about a lot of the aspects of adoption that are challenging for adopted kids such as not knowing why you were placed for adoption, what your birth family was like, and trying to figure out how you fit in to your new family. It also acknowledges issues specific to IA kids such as looking different than your family, integrating birth country culture/rituals, and being…

• N-600: Citizenship for International Adoption & the USCIS text alert program

  13 May 2013 | 12:53 pm

  We are still on the hunt for our Certificate of Citizenship for Little Man. We sent the application in months ago and this week complied with the request to send in his green card (boy that was hard to give it up). Hope that means USCIS is getting close to completing the process and Little Man's citizenship will be completed! For those of you playing at home with your international adoption, I figured out a handy feature that U.S. Citizenship and Immigrations Services has on their website to allow you to see where in the N-600 process your paperwork is. After you have submitted the N-600,…

• Happy Mothers Day: 21 bits of advice for first-time mothers

  12 May 2013 | 7:16 pm

  Twenty-four months of motherhood under my belt! Wahoo! For those of you still waiting...your day will come. Until then, here's 24 21 things that I've learned these past months. I pass this hard-earned advice on to you in hopes that it will prepare you for this new frontier. (I wanted to do 24, but I don't have that much advice to give. And I got tired of writing this.) 1. Check your butt: You ass will probably become a repository for a strange assortment of items. I've found Cheerios, stickers, dried snot (how the hell did that happen???), rice, paint, and applesauce on my back side, among…

• Forever Family and Single Mom's Day in Korea

  10 May 2013 | 12:24 pm

  May 10, 2011 It was so surreal. There we were, halfway across the world, corralling holding this very wiggly 10-month-old boy, juggling bottles and gifts, and trying to listen to the final instructions from his foster parents and their parting wishes for his life. We were all sobbing. Tears of joy. Tears of sadness. This was the moment we became parents. The moment we had spent the past 1 1/2 years waiting for. The workers rushed us to the elevator because surely, they knew that we would soon be overwhelmed with emotion. I held our stoic boy in my arms. He was the only one not crying. We got…

• Evolution

  8 May 2013 | 12:40 pm

  Wow. It sort of feels like I've dropped off the edge of the world lately. I guess I have, at least where the blog is concerned. Life here has been...evolving. Lots of changes. Lots of things to make me think. * I've had another death in the family. This time, my half-brother, passed at the age of 26 after a motorcycle accident. I didn't know him at all. It's a long and complicated story, but I only met him once. But after another death on that same side of the family a few months ago, I decided the time was right to seek out my half-brother and try to connect with him. It had always felt…

• 

  I'm A Foster

• 7 Ways To Help Foster Kids

  9 May 2013 | 8:52 pm

    Looking for a way to help kids in foster care but not interested in being a foster parent? Being a foster parent isn't for everyone. Here are 7 ways you can help kids in foster care. 1. Provide respite. Don't want to be a full time foster parent? You don't have to. You can provide respite care to help out. Respite care can be providing a break for foster families or doing emergency care. At my group home we had respite parents come by our home to help throughout the week. They would also stay one night a week during what we called "date night". This gave our house parents a night off…

• How To Solve The Aging Out Crisis

  13 Apr 2013 | 11:35 am

  If you are involved in foster care or have done any research then you know that the statistics are stacked against foster kids when they age out of the foster care system. This isn't just a short term problem. Many foster kids go on after aging out and continue to be homeless or in jail. Many spend their life on some sort of government assistance. Kids that are told to go out on their own to be adults don't know how to be adults. Sometimes there has been bad habits instilled in them from abuses they received as a child. Some may not know how a person is really supposed to act or behave…

• Seeing Bio Parents Many Years After Foster Care

  2 Apr 2013 | 9:29 pm

  The other day I got off work and headed down to my car, ready to start my weekend. We work at a company that is above a shopping area. It was warm so there were a good amount of people out clothes shopping and running around. As we were walking through the parking lot I heard a screeching noise that caught my attention; so I looked in that direction. It was coming from a truck that was passing by. That's when I saw a couple of people I haven't seen several in years... My bio parents.  Here’s a quick background of the story so you know where I'm coming from. They technically aren't my…

• The Importance Of Foster Parents

  26 Mar 2013 | 6:15 am

   There are a lot of discussions that can arise when bringing up the topic of foster care. We can discuss the hardships of child abuse, living in foster care and aging out. There's a lot of focus on what’s broken in the foster care system and the trouble that foster kids face when aging out. This is all rightfully so. Foster kids aren't just abused, removed from their home and everything is fine because they are away from the abuse. Foster kids often face ongoing trauma from their past and into their future. Every day you wake up you realize you’re a foster kid. There are…

• Why Would An Abused Child Want To Return Home?

  18 Mar 2013 | 10:52 pm

   There are many preconceived stereo types and misconceptions in foster care. Many can't relate or understand what abused children go through or why they act the way they do. Many times we don't know ourselves why we feel a certain way. One of the common things people can't quite understand is why abused kids would want to go home to their parents.   Being older I didn't want to go home. I was made to believe everything that was going on was just normal punishments, but as I got older I realized more that we were really in trouble. After the fact I could see how good my parents were…

• 

  AMERICAN INDIAN ADOPTEES

• How We Heal

  18 May 2013 | 2:00 am

  I wrote a guest post "HOW WE HEAL" for our friend Jonathan Brooks fantastic website/blog: Spirit Bear Coaching.  Jonathan shared his incredible adoption journey and reunion in the anthology TWO WORLDS: Lost Children of the Indian Adoption Projects. Read my post here: http://spiritbearcoaching.com/how-we-heal/ Excerpt: "How we heal from this history is to know this happened to children. We can find ways to repatriate these children back to their tribes and help them to reconnect. We can unseal their adoption records and enroll these children as members of their tribes. Sharing the truth…

• PTSD and Post-Adoption Issues–What NOT to Say

  17 May 2013 | 8:26 am

  I wrote about my own post-traumatic stress disorder in my memoir One Small Sacrifice. The key for me is (and was) processing emotions and knowing my self once I had the truth... Here is a must-read column: http://www.laura-dennis.com/trauma-adoption-ptsd/ Excerpt: “Here’s what you need to do...” Here’s the truth: I have no idea what you specifically need to do to process yourself. To heal. I have no freakin’ clue. I can only offer suggestions, things that have worked for myself and others. And I can try to provide insight and resources for adoptees (and those who support them) as…

• Part 2: The fight for Baby Veronica

  15 May 2013 | 8:42 am

      Veronica at home in Oklahoma (Indian Country Today)            Another article in this excellent series. “The birth mother knew I was Cherokee, she knew I was a tribal member, she knew my birth date and she knew how to spell my name,” said Brown matter-of-factly. “Look, we've known each other since we were 16. We were engaged. She absolutely knew all of my vital information. And she gave [the attorney and the tribe] the wrong information [hoping to keep the adoption secret].” Facts Are Stubborn Things From the…

• Wanted: Mother

  12 May 2013 | 2:55 am

  on Pinterest    I lost my adoptive mom Edie to dementia in December 2011. Her funeral, burial and memorial was held in Wisconsin on June 22, 2012. It was a beautiful service by mom’s favorite priest, who had befriended her and visited her almost weekly...Mom would have enjoyed his homage to her.   I need a mother. Yes, I truly do. I need birthday cards and a box for Christmas, just like mom supplied every year without fail. I need the daily call to fill me in on all the happenings and updates on cleaning and fixing and trips to stores and bank. I need…

• The Spirit to Speak Out: Robin Poor Bear's Bravery

  11 May 2013 | 2:55 am

  In Kind-Hearted Woman, Robin Poor Bear negotiates motherhood, sobriety and justice. (Courtesy PBS) The Spirit to Speak Out: Documentary Features Oglala Sioux Woman's Heartbreak and Redemption Through Custody Battles, Abuse Anne Minard April 18, 2013 To say that Robin Poor Bear, Oglala Sioux, struggled with the decision to allow a documentary film crew to make a movie about her life is an understatement. It’s no accident, for instance, that she got sober at the same time that filming began in 2007. “I went downhill making that decision,” she said. “I went through about three or four…

• 

  Infant Adoption Guide

• IAG 005: Adoption Agency Review: An interview with Mardie Caldwell from Lifetime Adoption Center [Podcast]

  Tim Elder

  9 May 2013 | 9:19 pm

  In this episode of the Infant Adoption Guide Podcast we talk with Mardie Caldwell, COAP (Certified Open Adoption Practitioner), CEO and Founder of Lifetime Adoption Center. Mardie is a nationally recognized adoption expert. She is the author of 7 books (soon to be 8) which include AdoptingOnline.com, Adoption: Your Step-By-Step Guide, and Called to Adoption.         [...]

• 18 Money Saving Tips For Domestic Adoption Travel

  Tim Elder

  4 May 2013 | 7:23 am

  The costs for domestic infant adoption in the U.S. can be overwhelming – especially if you have to travel to another state. Once you are matched and know where you are traveling to, you can save money with some research and preparation. My wife and I have adopted twice – both times from other states. We made [...]

• IAG 004: An Adoption Story – an interview with adoptive parents Josh & Laci [Podcast]

  Tim Elder

  15 Apr 2013 | 7:38 pm

  CLICK HERE or on the PLAY button above to listen right now. In this episode of the Infant Adoption Guide Podcast you’ll hear the adoption story from new adoptive parents Josh and Laci – and how they adopted their little boy in early 2013! They share the ups and the downs of their adoption journey – [...]

• How to adopt: What is the first step to start your domestic adoption journey?

  Tim Elder

  4 Apr 2013 | 8:22 pm

  The adoption process can be very overwhelming. It is hard to know where to start.  Before you begin your adoption journey, you must first understand how the process works and what your options are. But don’t worry – if you are just starting to look into what adoption is all about and you’re feeling overwhelmed, [...]

• IAG 003: Adoption fundraising – an interview with CoupAide.com Founder Matt Lee [Podcast]

  Tim Elder

  24 Mar 2013 | 7:33 pm

  In this episode I talk with Matt Lee, Founder of CoupAide.com - a unique fundraising platform for adoptive families who want to raise extra money for their adoption.Matt and I discuss how CoupAide.com helps adoptive families. Here is what it does: CoupAide provides your supporters (family, friends, anyone you want) with a useful and valuable incentive [...]